Company Unveils Natural Casing Wrapping Paper Just In Time For the Holidays

There’s good news for everyone with a meat lover or someone who appreciates the unusual on their shopping list this holiday season. A new all-natural alternative to wrapping paper is available for your gifts this year, festive sausage casing sheets. The brainchild of Lahaina meat-mogul “Big” Bob Abramo, the unconventional present wrapping went on sale this morning at all Big Bites locations, as well as the Chop House. Bob says the gift casings are a more ecologically friendly way to package your gifts, and are 100% natural and delicious.

It seems like every year there’s a new “It” gift that everyone is scrambling to buy, but Abramo hopes this year it’s what’s around your present that will get all of the attention. While some may cringe at the idea of decorating a gift for a love one with a product derived from animal intestines, Bob says his casing sheets are the future of gift giving, and are better for the environment than traditional paper.

Brandi Essen, spokesperson for Abramo Holdings says, “Unlike some companies that just go through the motions during the holidays, we continue to chew away at our goals and new innovations. This sustainable wrapping alternative is proof of our hard work, and we couldn’t be more excited.”

“Whether it’s riding at the forefront of tire technology, tackling the hunger problem with innovative outreach programs, or breaking new ground with our 100% natural, grass-fed medical valves and grafting tissues, Abramo Holdings has been a leader in meat-based technologies. Our wrapping casings come in four different colorful patterns, have a shelf life of up to two years, and are as tasty as they are festive.”

Despite Essen’s words many do not share her enthusiasm about the curious Christmas wrapping. Betsy Kaukau, an investigator for the Department of Health says the new product has the potential to be a “holiday horror story.”

“Not to be overly graphic, but we’re talking about wrapping a gift in a product made from pig guts, and sticking it under a tree for several days. You wouldn’t eat a sausage that had been left out that long because common sense would tell you that it’s no good. This is no different. I mean just touching it would be bad enough, but they are encouraging consumers to use the wrapping in meals later on. I know it comes with safe handling guidelines, but if you ask me the risk is not worth the reward in this case. I envision a lot of people running to the bathroom or the hospital this holiday season. If I had one tip for not getting sick this year, it would be to stay far away from Abramo wrapping casings, and just stick to traditional paper.”

Abramo on the other hand is quick to point out that his product follows all food safety guidelines, and comes with strict handling instructions, as well as 12 of his favorite sausage recipes, one for every day of Christmas. Bob says his casing sheets are not only a giant leap forward in food science, but also a big step in green technology.

“With our new casings you can really smell Christmas in the air. We’ve figured out how to “zip” and “unzip” proteins in natural sausage casings to produce sheets like you can with synthetic alternatives, and we only use 100% natural dyes and colorings. Our new gift wrapping has the flexibility of collagen sheets, however one taste lets you know that it isn’t manmade, but comes straight from the belly of a beast. Finally, that family member who always insists on saving the paper from their presents has a good reason to. The truth of the matter is that Americans use over 60 million tons of wrapping paper every year, spending over $8 billion annually. Most of that paper gets thrown away, and that model is unsustainable. Our product aims to take a big bite out of that pile of discarded paper, and you get the bonus of a great tasting sausage at the end. Our present casings are the best thing to happen to gifts, and Christmas dinner in years!”