Man Airlifted To Hospital After Excessive Manimal Consumption Leads To Organ Failure

A Lahaina man remains in serious condition after his Manimal consumption left him fighting for his life, due to massive multisystem organ failure. While there is growing concern that drinking large amounts of energy drinks, like Manimal, could have long-term health effects, doctors say that this is the most extreme case they have ever seen. The patient’s prognosis remains guarded but hopeful this morning.

25-year-old Steven Nauwe says that he began Tuesday just like any other day, with a couple cans of Manimal. A groomer and dog walker at DA Kine Groomers in Lahaina, Nauwe admits that he drinks a lot of the popular energy drink,

“I love Manimal! I don’t know for sure how many cans exactly I’d go through in a day, probably a few dozen on average. It’s just way more convenient than sitting down and eating something. I like being on the move, and Manimal lets me feel something I call “the surge”. It starts with the first few cans in the morning. It makes my body hum and helps me focus. I’ll have a couple more on my way to work and I can feel my muscles start to pulse with energy. I’ll grab one more from my locker while I’m changing my clothes, and BOOM, I can ride the wave of energy all day. I guess the surge was just a little too strong this time.”

Co-workers say that Nauwe is a diligent worker that can always be counted on to do extra work, even if he is a bit manic at times. DA Kine manager Julie Loelu says that everyone liked working with Steven, but nobody knew how sick he was. “We all thought he drank too much Manimal, but I don’t think anyone expected this. Steven is loved by all the employees. He is the fastest groomer I have by a mile, and he always volunteers to walk the dogs. He not only keeps his station immaculately cleaned, but he’ll clean yours too, sometimes while you’re still working. He’d been acting strangely for a couple days but I didn’t think much of it. Then Tuesday night, he asked if he could stay late to count and organize the dog hair. Thinking he was joking, I said sure and left for the evening. When I came back in the morning it was like a horror movie.”

Steven says he had not slept for several days leading up to Tuesday night but was unconcerned and assumed it was because he was, “riding the surge”. He says, “I don’t remember much after my morning Manimal at work to be honest. I didn’t feel any different, if anything, the surge felt even better than usual. I remember getting the idea that I should count the hairs and organize them by length in the afternoon and couldn’t stop thinking about it. Julie said I could stay late to do it, and everything went fine until the AC started. I had pushed all the grooming tables together, and had been working all night when the fans kicked in, and blew hours of work all over the room. I was really upset, and couldn’t figure out how I was going to get it all reorganized. The next thing I remember was waking up in the hospital.”

When Loelu arrived in the morning she found a chaotic scene. “Steven was standing in the middle of the grooming area screaming gibberish. There was fur all over the place, all the equipment was strewn around the room, and he was bleeding from his eyes, ears, and mouth. I screamed right along with him at first, I was so scared. Eventually, I calmed down and could see that he needed help, so I took him to Community Health. They took one look at him and called for air rescue.”

Doctors at The Queens Medical Center in Honolulu found that Nauwe was experiencing massive multisystem organ failure. According to doctors, the excessive amount of Manimal that Steven drank had drastic effects on his endocrine system. Reports indicate that Nauwe was in a thyrotoxic crisis, had greatly elevated glucose levels, and deadly amounts of cortisol, and other stress hormones in his blood. A hospital spokesperson says, “Virtually all of Mr. Nauwe’s system were on the verge of collapse when he was brought in. His thyroid, adrenal, and pituitary glands were malfunctioning. The mix of improper hormone levels, along with the massive amounts of caffeine, taurine, gaurana, and other stimulants from the Manimal he was drinking, was wreaking havoc with his body. In addition, It was discovered that the patient was suffering from extreme osteoporosis, as his bones had been leached of minerals by his hypermetabolism. This was a first for us and I will say on a personal note, my house is now Manimal free.”

Manimal CEO Spencer Kane has been in contact with Nauwe and says,

“I regret that Steven had to go through something like this, and would encourage all of our customers to seek medical help immediately if they think they are experiencing organ failure. Intensity comes with a cost, and sometimes the hardest thing for a real-life Manimal to do is regulate their energy intake. Unfortunately, the brightest flames burn the quickest. Be that as it may, I would encourage our customers to enjoy our drink in radical moderation. A good rule of thumb is to get most of your daily caloric intake from a source other than Manimal. Our products are completely safe, and have been thoroughly tested on animals much smaller than our customers, without any serious long-term problems. I want to assure the public that this was an isolated incident and they don’t need to worry. Steven just had his foot on the gas a little too long. We wish him all the best and a speedy recovery.”

Nauwe is stable this morning but remains in serious condition until doctors can return his hormone levels to normal. “Things are a lot better today. My eyes stopped bleeding this morning and the nurses say that’s a good sign that I’m getting better. They say that almost dying can make you see things in a new light and make better choices. I’ve already made some big decisions, like cutting out the commute Manimal from my daily routine and limiting myself to a six pack while I’m at work. I’ve been given a second chance and I plan on drinking slightly less Manimal this time around.”