Congratulations, you are cordially and secretly invited to the 11th annual Tappers Day Before Christmas Spectapluar!
If you’re reading this note you already know how serious we take this event and that you have no choice but to attend. No, really, to be perfectly clear, you have no choice. We are watching everything. There is no place you could hide from us.
We take Christmas very seriously and this year’s show is bigger and better than any we’ve done before. We’ve spared no expense to bring you the best entertainment the islands have to offer. There’s never been a better time to be on our “Nice” list.
Simply eat one of the cookies enclosed approximately 1 hour before sundown and place the 30 rai entry fee in your pocket. Our teams of secret Santas will do the rest. When you awake, you’ll find yourself in our private party grotto. Enjoy our complimentary drinks and snacks while you shake out the cobwebs and discover who we’ve chosen as guests.
Enjoy mingling with other attendees or feel free to wander around once you’re feeling alert. We have plenty to see before the show begins. Pet one of our mutant axis deer, watch as our captive Green Lady steals the Christmas spirit from those who ignored our invitations and consumes them, or marvel at the wonder of our giant Christmas Koa tree. Adorned with over 4,000 lights and ornaments our near 100’ tall koa is quite something to behold. And that’s just the beginning. Our featured events include:
The Tony Kahale Memorial Nog Drinking Contest
Pay homage to bruddah half-barrel by gulping down as much of our delicious homemade nog as you can in 10 minutes. In addition to bragging rights and an upset stomach, the winner gets free entry into next years event.
The Valley Isle Laser Light Dancers
Before the cookies wear completely off and while your belly is full of nog, have a seat and watch our most talented dancers trip the laser light fantastic. Learn the history of the island with the help of our dancers and our amazing light show.
The Tapper Children’s Troupe
Your heart will melt as our young ones regale you with the Christmas story and sing a collection of holiday favorites. (The children’s program is now 15 minutes shorter for your consideration. Warning: applause is mandatory.)
Roman’s Ukulele Choir
All the way from Molokai, Roman and his ukulele choir have returned this year to enthrall and entertain. Handel has never sounded better!
The Tappettes
We’ll close the show as usual with the help of our limber ladies kicking up the cheer with their famous Christmas chorus line. You’ll be amazed by both their precision and your seemingly instantaneous return to your homes at the end of the show.
It’s our biggest and best show ever! Remember, we know when you are sleeping. We know where you are when you’re awake. We just want to celebrate the holiday with you, so accept our invitation for your family’s sake!
