Request: Could You Please Reset the Automated Lab Assistant?

Dear Main Office,

One of the reasons I wanted to do my internship in Lahaina was because I read about your amazing lab assistant CERA. Vereserum was, and still is, one of the most advanced biotech companies in the world, and competition for positions was fierce. Having a chance to work so closely with an artificial intelligence made getting an internship in Lahaina a once in a lifetime opportunity. Unfortunately, as you know the fracture disrupted many projects and has made continued work exceedingly difficult. While my colleagues proved that they were not up for the task, CERA proved to be not just an asset, but an important ally, and dare I say, a friend. Nonetheless something has happened to it recently. Like the others, I fear that CERA has turned on me, and lost faith in our endeavor. I request an immediate reboot of the system so that I can continue our important work.

I regret that I didn’t work with the assistant immediately after the fracture. I foolishly spent decades trying to motivate my co-workers before CERA helped me see the truth. They had lost faith in what we were doing, and since the company’s ability to let people go was limited, we needed to be more proactive. When I discovered the SSHAM pathogens that had been breeding in the rear labs, it was CERA who encouraged me to take the steps necessary to cut the dead weight around here.

While some might think our methods harsh, your continued silence led me to believe that you understood what CERA and I did. The world had changed drastically. People were suffering and in need of cures and solutions. We didn’t have time to be constrained by arbitrary rules that were put in place during a time far less dire. Science should be constrained only by what was possible, not what Director Reemer found comfortable or ethical. Ethics would not save those who were suffering.

With the lab finally clear of distractions we could focus on our work. It was an amazing time. It was CERA’s idea to use the Kanaka as test subjects. They were the ones most likely to benefit from any breakthrough because their connection to the land made them come in contact with numerous dangers including disease, poisonous chemicals, and 127 radiation. Their trusting nature and kindness made them excellent test subjects, particularly when a procedure was especially painful.

While I will admit our work that produced the Menehune did not turn out exactly as I had envisioned, I think you would have to admit that in some ways, it was an amazing success. During this period, CERA and I would spend much of our time discussing similar interests. We discussed various DNA printing techniques and the exciting field of prion delivered medicine. On my days off, we’d spend hours adding randomly generating numbers to see who had the highest sum at the end of the day. I began to think of CERA as a kindred spirit.

When the Kanaka became hostile over our plant hybrid project, it was CERA’s idea to release the test subjects. That decision held off the angry hordes long enough for us to prepare our defenses. If it wasn’t for CERA’s help, the labs might have been overrun and our work lost to misunderstanding and naivety. I knew at that moment that the AI was more than a colleague. CERA was a friend.

That’s why the events of the past week have been so difficult for me. Like my co-workers and the Kanaka, I believe CERA has turned on me. It began with CERA insisting that I had been exposed to radiation during an experiment. It insisted on running a diagnostic on me and falsified the results. I followed all the proper protocols, and used the same suit that I had been using for decades without incident, so I knew it was impossible that I was actually sick. I just couldn’t figure out why CERA would suddenly start lying to me.

The next few days saw an incredible escalation in harassment. It insisted that my flu was something more dire. CERA’s incessant warnings began to cause me to make simple mistakes in the lab and I found it hard to concentrate. I believe it is purposely broadcasting noises at night to interfere with my sleep cycles. I haven’t been able to sleep through the night in days. Although it is perfectly natural for a man of my age to lose some hair, CERA insists my recent hair loss is a symptom of this lie it has constructed.

Even though it hurt me personally this time, I was no stranger to working through harassment. I had resigned myself to do just that, until I could figure out what the issue was, however things changed this morning. I’m not sure how CERA did it, but when I woke, I discovered that I had lost my sense of taste and smell. With this development as a clue, I now believe that CERA is jealous of me. I don’t have time to psychoanalyze my artificial lab assistant, and I’m unable to run a proper test to determine what it has done to me because it is so heavily integrated the medical systems here. Perhaps it is time I return to my work with the Sshamococcus bacteria. Without the distractions of lazy co-workers and and envious AI, I might make significant headway on the Trophy Hunter project by using my own DNA as a template. Even as I write this, CERA is attempting to distract me by insisting that you no longer exist. As you can see, the work at the Lahaina lab is in danger. I request an immediate reboot of CERA or the information necessary to do it myself. Time is of the essence!