STORYLINE

University of Maui Lahaina College To Host Free Drone Boot Camp

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So you bought yourself a drone because you thought it’d be fun to fly around. However, despite what the manufacturer promised, piloting one isn’t “a breeze”, it feels more like brain surgery. On top of that, you had no idea there were so many rules and regulations covering their operation. If this story sounds familiar, don’t worry. The University of Maui Lahaina College wants to help. The school will be hosting a free drone boot camp this weekend to teach owners how to safely and legally, fly their drones.

Dean Richard Mahelona says, “Drones aren’t just a fad anymore. They’re almost as common as birds in the sky around Lahaina. We want to help the public learn how to safely use these amazing machines without worry, and without inadvertently breaking any laws. We’ll have a number of experts available at the event to help guide drone owners of all skill levels, and best of all it’s free!”

The boot camp is open to anyone ages 10 or older wanting to learn a wide range of drone related skills including: piloting, maintenance, and regulations. Participants must register online and bring their own drone. The event is limited to 100 participants, but is free, and others are welcome to come and watch. “We just want to make the skies safer for everyone,” says Mahelona.

With the expansion of Glimpsea across the island, and the the creation of the Veil News Network (VNN), more and more companies are turning to drone technology for a number of their needs; but it’s not just businesses filling the skies with drones. The number of private citizens who own a drone has gone up over 200% in the past 10 years. With that increase has come dozens of close-calls, accidents, and complaints as well as a couple of high profile incidents that put lives in danger, most recently one involving a VNN drone. “It’s those kind of incidents that we’re trying to prevent,” says local inventor and boot camp instructor Ano Lee.

“We were all newbs once,” Lee says. “I try and go over more than just the hows and whys in a class. I go over all the real things a droner needs to know before they fly their machines. There are a many things that seem like a ton of fun to first time drone owners, but are actually illegal. I make sure to go over everything that a rookie droner might want to try, but shouldn’t. Things like: chasing birds, delivering beer to underage friends, shredding kites, peeking through windows, crashing into other drones, scaring people at night, or following an ex. Just because something sounds like fun, doesn’t mean you should do it. I just wish there was a program like this when I was first getting interested in drones.”

In addition to technical proficiency, piloting skills, and rules and regulations, Lee says he teaches his students everything they need to know about drone culture. “It may be a fast growing hobby, but it’s still not a huge club,” he says. Ano says that it is as important for people to understand and embrace the drone community, as it is to understand the rules and regulations laid out by the government.

“I believe operators have a responsibility to change the negative stereotypes surrounding drone ownership. We have to be good stewards for the droner community. I try to explain that to my students, and give them a few tips on fitting in. We discuss how important it is to add a custom paint job to your drone, making sure you use complimentary colors, and only high-quality graphics. A great drone owner, has a drone with a great name. You want to pick something that really speaks to your personality, and helps convey your message, while avoiding things that sound lame. The Wind Walker, The Scarlet Swift, The Moon Chaser, and The Wisp are all awesome names. Lastly, for those who can afford it, I explain how useful having a custom casing can be for a first-timer. I recommend your favorite spaceship, or a realistic bird casing. The Glimpsea Gull model is amazing, and except for the weird fans sticking out, it’s almost indistinguishable from the real thing. It’s a great icebreaker when you’re around other droners. I’m actually running a casing mod special at my maker facility. Just come down to the tchotchke hut and tell them you heard about the offer, and we’ll give you 15% off your first custom casing. We expect demand to be pretty high this weekend, so please hurry before we run out of plastic.”

STORYLINE

Expansion of Controversial Drone Privacy Law Proposed

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Love it or hate it, if you’re a Maui native chances are you have an opinion on HRS-986, more commonly known as the drone privacy law. The legislation has ruffled plenty of feathers and interfered with numerous public events over the past year, but now privacy advocates want to expand the program to all public cameras and businesses participating in Glimpsea’s Lahaina View Project. If passed, business owners will be forced to verbally warn all patrons that they are being filmed “for marketing and security purposes” and obtain a signed release.

The subject of countless parodies on late-night television and spawning thousands of memes, the drone privacy act was supposed to protect the privacy of Maui citizens and the millions of tourists who visit every year. After a number of high-profile incidents involving the Veilcorp drones that continuously film activities on the island, HRS-986 promised to protect anonymity and curtail where the drones could film, a promise many say the law didn’t keep.

Forcing Veilcorp drones to broadcast a warning message whenever entering a new area or switching targets while filming, there were issues almost immediately. Weddings were ruined, as drones repeated the warning for each guest in attendance. One infamous video shows drones pursuing a funeral procession and drowning out speakers at a memorial service. Bird watchers and nature enthusiasts say the drone warnings scared away wildlife and disturbed the peaceful beauty of the preservation zone. Some conservationists even blame the automated announcements on the sharp decline in nesting sites of the Palila, a critically endangered finch-billed species of Hawaiian honeycreeper.

Overnight it became impossible to go anywhere outside and not eventually hear, “Pursuant to HRS-986, The Hawaiian Drone acknowledgment act of 2050, You are on notice that you are being filmed and agree to have your image captured and streamed for marketing and security purposes.” With their automated movements, pranksters began to place whirligigs & wind spinners in lawns late at night to attract drones and wake up entire neighborhoods with 85 decibels of privacy concerns.

With so much bad press it may seem strange that anyone is pushing to expand the program, but privacy groups say there is a need to protect against the public intrusions created by Glimpsea’s Lahaina View Project as well. They say the network of public and private cameras are a threat to anonymity and are concerned about the recently announced facial recognition abilities of the system.

“Uncle” Ralph Umeke, owner of the popular Hula Noodle eatery, and a Lahaina fixture is not a fan of the proposed expansion, calling it, “unmitigated nonsense!”

“It’s bad enough that they got those mechanical parrots buzzing around repeating that nonsense like a broken record, but now they want me to read a statement to everyone who comes into the shop and have them sign papers too? It’s nonsense! Do you know how busy I am during the lunch rush? If I have to read a statement and get paperwork for each individual who wants some noodles on a Friday afternoon, there’s going to be a whole lot of people who don’t get anything to eat. I like to listen to contented slurping in the shop, not my voice declaring, “This business operates within the Lahaina View Zone. Your image will likely be recorded for commercial purposes while you engage in commerce here.” It’s stupid! You already can barely hear the waves over the drone announcements at the beach some days. I’m not going to do the same inside my shop while people try to enjoy their food.”

Many business owners feel the same as Umeke but backers of the new legislation say the law will go a long way to foster goodwill with the public. Privacy advocate and author of such books as, “Stop Talking To Me: A Guide in Elevator Etiquette” Kevin Morrow says that the new law is needed to fill in the cracks left by HRS -986.

“HRS-987-4 simply adds protections to anyone filmed by the numerous cameras downtown participating in Glimpsea’s misguided enterprise. Models need to sign waivers for the use of their images and they’re getting paid. I think the general public deserves at least the same protections as someone wearing the latest flip-flop line for money.

The truth of the matter is that every year millions of people are devastated by the effects of mistimed photography and misleading video. Whether it’s a school picture taken during a blink, a wedding video catching a drunk uncle pantsless due to a belt malfunction, or someone being falsely labeled a wine spiller because of a handful of incidents, these sorts of permanent reminders of brief seconds of embarrassment are unacceptable.

Unfortunately, I have personal experience in how pictures can create and perpetuate false narratives. Many years ago I innocently spilled wine while filling glasses at a family get together. Luckily, I was able to move past the fumbling and my normally critical family didn’t mention it for the rest of the evening. I didn’t think much of it until it happened again at Christmas. This time, however, it was caught on film and posted to social media for my ridicule.

I was viciously labeled a “Spiller” by friends and family, even though my cousin Randy clearly hit the table the third and fourth time it happened on camera. I no longer felt safe at family events and refused to attend them to avoid any other labels and damage to my character. I even began to doubt my ability to pour other liquids, causing me great embarrassment and difficulty. With the help of my doctor and my plastic support pitcher, I was slowly able to gain my confidence back. I’m happy to announce that I can once again pour freely around the house without any issues. However, if this law had been around then, it may have saved me several years of struggle. We have a duty to protect the public from situations like mine. We need to guard against red-eye pictures, misguided vacation wardrobe decisions, and improperly recorded audio. That is why I believe HRS-987-4 is an important step in the right direction.”

STORYLINE

Popular VNN Show Put on Hiatus After Drone Crashes Into Condominium

A drone filming the popular Veil News Network (VNN) show “The Beach Report” crashed into the Aloha Shores condominiums early this morning, causing serious damage to several units. While nobody was injured in the crash, this is the second incident involving drones filming the show in the past month. Officials are still investigating the incident and no charges have been filed at this time. VNN has temporarily canceled the show pending an investigation, and the FAA says it is gathering information on the case.

Along with its sister show “Veil-Curious”, an arts and leisure show that focuses on bar reviews, embarrassing tourists, and the location of a particular Italian ice vendor, The Beach Report is one of VNN’s most successful programs, especially among the 18-34-year-old demographic. It reports on temperature, wave height, wind, and “all the weather and water conditions you need to enjoy the sand and surf,” according to its programming description on the VNN website. Critics however claim that in practice, the show is nothing more than a way for viewers to ogle beachgoers. They say the show’s real-time target voting has lead to frequent unsavory viewing and recent accidents.

Officials say that The Beach Report drone began following a group of tourists heading to the beach early this morning. After being followed for a few hours, they took a Hailoha downtown in an attempt to evade the camera but were unsuccessful. The group then ran into Aloha Shores to call the police. Witnesses say that the drone tried to follow them, hitting a number of units, breaking windows, and causing exterior damage, before eventually crashing into the pool.

This is not the first time that a Beach Report drone has been involved in an accident. Earlier this month the show was in the headlines after a drone reportedly collided with a tour helicopter filled with some of the day’s most “popular” beach visitors. The National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) has an open investigation in the case saying, “The NTSB is aware of the pilot’s report that she was forced to make an emergency landing to avoid a drone, but the NTSB has not yet been able to independently verify that information.”

Jake Tripper, Vice President of Special Programming, says that VNN is cooperating with authorities, and is putting The Beach Report on hiatus pending a thorough investigation. Despite the pushback on the show, and how it is run, Tripper says he believes the issues can be resolved with software updates, and stricter safety protocols.

“Look, we’re just giving the public what it wants. I agree that these incidents are troubling, but we’re working with authorities and doing our own internal investigation to make sure things like this don’t ever happen again. Having said that, you would not believe the number of complaints we’ve had about the show being on break. It’s clear that the people of Lahaina take their beaches very seriously, and understand how important real-time condition reports can be when planning your day. If in the course of getting a good look at the beach, we sometimes include someone lounging on the sand, or playing in the surf, I don’t think it’s a bad thing. There are all sorts of natural wonders to look at on our shores. The show’s “Sunburn Watch” segment has saved more young, taut, firm, bodies from skin damage, and sold more suntan lotion, than any other show on the network.”

Steve and Frank Lacey, of Lacey Property Management, say they pride themselves in taking care of their residents, and are shocked about the amount of damage the drone did. “I’m just glad that it didn’t hit one of our residents, it could have been disastrous. As far as I know, our condos aren’t in any danger of getting a sunburn, so there’s no need for their drones to be so close to the property. Something needs to be done to make sure nothing like this happens again. Once is an accident, twice is a problem,” says Frank. Still, Steve has a somewhat more optimistic view of the drone crash.

“I agree with my brother about the seriousness of this incident. Nonetheless, I think it will be ultimately good for business. It highlights just how hip and happening our community is. Aloha Shores is the preferred property destination for the vibrant young professional population of Lahaina. I mean the viewers of The Beach Report wanted to be part of the community so bad they crashed a drone into our pool. We’re located along some of the most beautiful beaches anywhere. Our residents are within walking distance of world class cuisine, and a fast growing nightlife scene. Our units boast the finest in eco-friendly furnishings and accouterments. Our poolside furniture is composed of pesticide free, non-GMO grasses and vines. We serve locally grown and roasted coffee, a wide variety of free-trade-heirloom teas, and organic hand-seeded melons in our communal breakfast nooks. All of our tiki mugs are handmade by local artisans, and the poolside umbrellas are made from repurposed awning materials from some of the oldest buildings on Front Street. We care about what you care about at Aloha Shores, and it shows. We have a limited number of units available, call today!”

Officials say they are still taking witness statements, and going over the scene of the accident, but Veilcorp attorney Harold Breen released a statement this morning which reads in part, “We are working openly with authorities and are grateful that nobody was hurt in this incident. Veilcorp and VNN take safety very seriously.”

STORYLINE

Hit VNN Crime Show Under Fire From Privacy Groups and Mayor’s Office

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The hugely popular VNN show, “Crime Time Lahaina” has come under fire from privacy advocates, and law enforcement this week, putting the future of the newly created program in jeopardy. Mayor Cravalho says there are serious concerns about the legality of some segments, and the program sends the wrong message to tourists. Privacy groups say that the information shared in an episode is often misleading or false, and that the show is potentially dangerous. VNN says Crime Time simply uses publicly available information, and serves as an important tool for tourists and residents alike who want a safer Lahaina.

Despite only being on the air for a little over a month, Crime Time Lahaina has become one of the fledgling network’s biggest hits. Every morning viewers tune into the program to see the previous day’s mugshots, incident reports, and even a list of tickets written. Areas of “rising crime” are featured, and the program’s drone cameras take a tour over Lahaina, highlighting homes and apartments where convicted criminals live. Viewers watching the live feed can request coverage over specific areas, or even individual people, who they’ve witnessed committing a crime.

Host and creator Gary Puniwale says Crime Time is the natural progression of neighborhood watch programs, John Cam shows, and the old fashioned police blotter. He says the show offers Lahaina residents a better look at who their neighbors are, and tourists a chance to keep themselves safe. “Crime Time Lahaina, simply lets people know who the criminals are, and what areas of town they need to be careful in. We’re talking about the ultimate in awareness and citizen policing. We hold nothing back from the public. I’m sorry if that is ruffling feathers at the police department or hurting tourism, but I’m more concerned about the safety of my neighbors, than the shops on Front Street having a better summer this year than last.”

Critics however point out that the majority of the “crimes” highlighted in the show involve minor things such as jaywalking, or failing to come to a complete stop at an intersection. In addition, the cameras often appear to follow people for nothing other than voyeuristic reasons. A Lahaina Police Department Spokesperson says they have received numerous complaints from tourists who say the cameras have followed them for hours, hovered outside hotel windows, and harassed them while inside public changing areas along the beach. Privacy advocates point out that arrest reports are routinely amended after they are aired on the program, without the corrections being made public. In addition, they claim that the information shared on Crime Time is often misleading or incomplete. Recently the program listed a prominent Tanager Lane resident as an active felon, although his record, for a crime committed as a teenager, was supposed to be expunged years ago.

“It’s just out of control,” says Mayor Albert Cravalho. “It’s no surprise to me or law enforcement that the show has become what it is. Gary himself is a felon with a long history of interfering with law enforcement, incompetence, and making false reports. I can’t begin to understand the logic in giving someone like him a show of this nature. It’s like asking a mongoose to watch your henhouse. The drones are constantly shooting footage through widows, as well as harassing tourists and sunbathers. This show isn’t about protecting people, or making Lahaina safer. It sure isn’t about spreading love, or embracing the aloha spirit either. It’s about sensationalism, harassment, and the creepy thinking of Gary Puniwale. The only bright spot in this whole situation is Gary’s incompetence. Even with the show’s popularity, I’m sure we’ll be able to take the cameras out of his hands, and out of Lahaina’s windows soon.”

Puniwale says that he doesn’t try to hide his past from viewers, but would rather focus on serious issues: like people failing to yield to oncoming traffic, or putting the island’s natural beauty in danger by littering, rather than his history with law enforcement.

“This is all about transparency. Those with nothing to hide, hide nothing. I ran into some trouble in my past trying to protect my friends and family. Maybe submitting over a thousand tips in a month was overzealous, and maybe I should have recognized the noises from my neighbor’s birthday party as laughter, instead of a home invasion and homicide in progress, but better safe than sorry. Those experiences did put me in a unique position to know the criminal mind better than most. For 90 days, I was forced to coexist in close quarters with criminals, and it gave me a special insight that I now share with my viewers. The mayor wants to throw stones and that’s fine. He should just know that throwing stones at someone is a crime in Lahaina, and I plan on reporting it daily starting at 8 a.m.”

STORYLINE

Lahaina Man Guided By VNN Traffic Drones Leads Police On High Speed Chase

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Lahaina Police arrested a motorist Thursday evening who ran through a traffic checkpoint on Lahainaluna Road, just East of the Lahaina bypass. Authorities had just closed part of the road due to flooding from the unusually heavy rains this week, when they observed a van approach. They say Craig Luahi, a 43-year-old Lahaina resident, drove up to the checkpoint at approximately 7:00 p.m. appearing agitated. Officers informed him that the road was closed, and he’d have to find an alternate route, but they say he disregarded their instructions and drove through the checkpoint “at a dangerously high rate of speed.” Police would chase Luahi for almost 2 hours through the rain, and over the trails of Lahaina, as he, and the public used VNN traffic drones to help him evade the authorities. Lauhi says he was just trying to get home to watch his favorite show.

With lights flashing and sirens blaring, officers chased Lauhi’s 2040 minivan as he sped East towards a group of county workers on the road attempting to flag him down. Witnesses say Craig shook his head, pointed up at a pair of VNN drones, and kept driving. The workers were forced to jump off the road to avoid being hit.

For the next 2 hours authorities chased Lauhi across most of Lahaina, and parts of the preservation zone, while he followed directions from the public, aided by VNN “Traffic Time” drones. From Front Street to the West, to Wahikuli Gulch, and South to Tanager Lane, Craig evaded capture driving though yards and down trails. He was eventually stopped when his van became stuck in mud while trying to cross Honokohau Ditch. Lauhi told authorities that he was sorry, but was just trying to get home and stream his favorite show.

“I just wanted to sit on my couch and binge on the next three episodes of “Meal Ticket.” They were debuting that night, and I had had a terrible day at work. I wanted to sit back and watch a bunch of people try to convince a billionaire that they’d make the perfect spouse over diner. You can always tell who’s given up by how much dessert they eat. Anyway, when I saw that my route home was closed I was devastated. I flipped on Traffic Time to see how many roads were closed and complain, when someone who lives on the other side of the roadblock said the road wasn’t completely washed out yet, and I could probably make it. I know I shouldn’t have, but I just really wanted to kick my feet up and settle in for the evening,” Lauhi told reporters.

“I watch Traffic Time a lot, especially on the weekends when downtown is packed with tourists. The real-time updates and user tips help me avoid the worst parts of town, and as it turns out, the police too. I couldn’t believe how helpful the users were, it was like they wanted me to watch those new episodes as badly as I did. They requested the drones move to areas I was approaching, and kept one on me at all times to help spot anything I missed. That allowed me to focus on my driving, which was good because they were leading me down some questionable routes. I eventually got stuck trying to jump a ditch in the van and the police caught me, which was probably best.”

Lauhi was charged with obstructing government operations, resisting an order to stop a motor vehicle, reckless driving, six counts of reckless endangering in the 2nd degree, and interacting with a Ceremplant stream while operating a motor vehicle. He was released on $50,750 bail this morning. However, many law enforcement officials claim that VNN is at least partially responsible for the incident, and are calling for new restrictions on the Traffic Time program.

Jake Tripper, VNN Vice President of Special Programming, says he was shocked to hear about the program’s involvement in the incident. “Traffic Time is about providing the hard working people of Lahaina with the fastest and most accurate information possible during their commute, and trips across the island. We are shocked and disappointed that our drones were used in such a dangerous way,” Tripper says. “We have always relied on the wisdom and speed of the crowd to help direct our drones, but it might be time to rethink those guidelines, as well as our policy to never delete forum comments. There’s always been some terrible things in there, but up until now it’s just been abhorrent, not criminal.”

For Lauhi’s part, he says he’s sorry, and has learned a valuable lesson.

“I apologize to: the police, everyone I put in danger last night, and everyone who’s property I might have damaged while fishtailing around Lahaina. I just got caught up in things. I’d also like to thank everyone on Traffic Time who tried to help me get home. We didn’t do the right thing, but it fills my heart with love to know that you would break the law, just to help a neighbor get home and watch his favorite show. The Aloha spirit is alive and well in Lahaina!”

STORYLINE

Veilcorp To Start Its Own News Service

Veilcorp has announced that it plans to start its own news service with reports and coverage specifically geared towards the corporation’s customers. Instead of traditional journalists, the service will rely on local “experts” and smart drones for all of its stories. Two pilot programs will start this week, one in Lahaina, and another in Seattle. Veilcorp says the new service will provide travelers with important local news, and offer a true look at the “unique atmosphere and vibe of our many destinations.”

Veilcorp is no stranger to exploring other various business opportunities, but the news business is different from its previous ventures. Veilcorp has had a complicated relationship with the media. Many accuse the company of having a cozy relationship with certain journalists, softening the coverage to some of the corporations more questionable decisions. None of those decisions was more controversial than the media ban following Eric Oeming’s return to Lahaina, after the terrorist attack that killed his wife, daughter, and employees.

With this kind of baggage, and an already saturated news market, one might wonder what would set Veilcorp’s news service apart from the crowd. According to Lahaina inventor Ano Lee, the answer is technology. “The news service will be using modified versions of my party drones, and will be integrated with the massive Glimpsea camera network,” says Lee. “My party drones were already designed to recognize: large groups of people, music, and lights, so I could find where the fun was happening on the weekend. We simply added cameras and the ability to set other targets of interest, whether those are areas, events, or specific objects and people. Now, Instead of sending back the GPS coordinates of the biggest parties on the island, the drones, with the help of the Glimpsea network, film whatever they have been assigned to cover.”

Veilcorp COO Lisa Hunt says that while the technology is cutting edge, the idea is quite simple, provide customers with a true understanding of the places and people that they are visiting. “Veilcorp, more than many other companies or organizations, is in a unique position to offer travelers the best local news available. We have a worldwide network, and a deep understanding of what travelers want. Numerous customer surveys have shown that people crave real-time and honest information about the places they are visiting. Our news service has no agenda other to inform our customers about the happenings, and important issues in their area. We use drones guided by local experts and contributors, to give veil travelers insight into the locals, and hear what issues are on their minds. Our goal is to offer great local news on a global scale.”

Some media outlets have scoffed at the idea of Veilcorp running a news service, and have questioned the credibility of any reports from citizen journalists and automated drones. A statement released from VeilWatch calls the proposed service, “One of the most dangerous propaganda tools ever devised, for the most dangerous organization the world has ever seen.” However, many, including people tapped as contributors, say the new service would offer a fresh, and much needed take on how local news operates, and what it covers.

Lahaina resident, and Veilcorp appointed expert John Driscol says he can’t wait to start his show, “Veil-Curious”. “They asked me to be in charge of Arts and Leisure. As everyone knows I’m a leisure expert. If you can’t find me relaxing on the beach, and counting waves, you can usually find me relaxing on another beach. I’m friends with numerous artists as well, so it seemed like a perfect fit. The best part of this service is the drones. I’ve never been in charge of something so simple. You just provide a few key activities, and specific things to look for to the techs. They load the information into the drones, and off they go. All you have to do is comment on what they capture. If you want to change up the coverage, you just assign new cues, and parameters. It’s really as simple as that. When Veil-Curious starts, people can look forward to lots of coverage of: tourists falling off paddle boards, beach bar reviews, and real-time tracking of that old guy who sells Italian ice from his cart. I really love that stuff, and he’s hard to find on the weekends.”

Veilcorp plans on officially launching the service on Friday, the 18th.

STORYLINE

Emergency Moving Service a Hit With the Public and Homeowners Alike

There’s no doubt that some of the most gorgeous properties on the big island are in the Puna, Kua, and Kona districts. The near perfect weather, breathtaking views, and surprisingly affordable home prices may make the areas seem like a dream come true for those wanting to own a bit of Hawaii’s beauty. However, they are not without one big danger. Much of the area is located within lava zones, making the prospect of losing not only your home and possessions, but your life as well, a real possibility. Worse still, is the fact that during an active lava flow, it is up to most homeowners to gather their things, and make their escape on their own. But a new high-risk, emergency moving service is helping property owners facing a complete loss a chance to save some of their most beloved items.

Randy Wilcox, star of the hit reality show Veil Sale, where he and a partner purchase abandoned freight and forgotten luggage at Veilcorp warehouse auctions, has come up with an emergency moving business, specializing in servicing those in the path of lava. “I don’t like to do anything unless it stimulates me. I would never work for a traditional moving service, with all the packing and scheduling, but ‘Go With Dah Flow’ is different. It’s the first moving service of its kind, and the best hope for people facing the prospect of watching everything they worked for, disappear underneath encroaching magma.”

While, It is possible to buy insurance in an area deemed a lava zone by The United States Geological Survey (USGS), the policies are hard to find, expensive, and extremely limited. Before Go With Dah Flow, a homeowners best bet was to keep a close eye on USGS predictions, have an emergency travel bag, and accept that some of their possessions would be claimed by magma. While it’s not a common occurrence, many facing the prospect of dealing with a lava flow swear by the service.

37-year-old Puna resident Kai Iosua says Go With Dah Flow saved almost all of her most prized possessions, even if they weren’t exactly careful with her house.

“Less than 90 minutes after I called Go With Dah Flow for help, I heard a loud buzzing over the house. I was scrambling to pack up some old pictures, and letters from my grandfather, and wondered if the power lines were coming down. Just then, a woman in work overalls crashed through my kitchen window, rolled over the table, and said, ‘Give me a list of your top ten favorite pieces of furniture and where they are.’

Before I had time to process what was going on, the front door was kicked in, and a man was asking me about any pets or collectables. More people came in, and they started to cut a hole in my roof. I saw that the buzzing noise above the house was one of those construction drones with a cargo net. When I settled down, and could answer their questions, I was amazed at how efficient they were. While my house took quite a beating, they had everything packed up in no time. The whole thing took less than an hour. In the end, the lava stopped well-short of the house, and now I have quite a repair bill, but Go With Dah Flow did everything they promised. Next time I won’t be so quick to pull the lava alarm.”

Wilcox says that it’s the stories of happy customers like Iosua’s that makes the work so much fun. “I was part of a community patrol group looking for embers and burning ash in Lahaina during the Lanai wildfires earlier this year. I learned a lot with those people, but I couldn’t help but think that we should be doing more for the people losing their homes. One of the group started talking to me about these lava zones on the big island, and how hard it was for those people in the path of an active flow. We had a meeting, worked out some financing, and a bunch of us started Go With Dah Flow. It’s been one of the best decisions of my life. My views on YouTube and Glimpsea channels have never been higher.

We have a heavy duty construction drone, and a group of trucks with solid tires, aluminum nitride ceramic floor pans, and tungsten drive trains. Of course, none of that would save a truck, or the people inside, should it get stuck in an active lava flow, but it makes some of the team feel better. While some have called our methods careless or gratuitously destructive, I like to think of them as efficient.

Look, when someone calls us it’s because their home is about to be buried in molten rock. It’s already lost. Our only concern is to get important belongings out as fast as we can. If that means breaking some doors, knocking down a wall or two, or removing sections of the roof, well that’s what needs to be done. Besides, if we finish early it gives us a chance to see how close we can get to the flow before the truck’s tires start to melt. Some of the team has a different definition of “acceptable risk” than our insurance company.”

Wilcox says that if all goes well with Go With Dah Flow, he’d like to expand into other areas of the emergency moving business including floods, industrial accidents, and hurricanes. “I just wish we had more severe earthquakes on the islands, and better prediction models. I can only imagine how many views I’d get if I could jump one of the moving vans over a freshly opened chasm.”

STORYLINE

Lahaina’s Biggest Food Delivery App Accused of Eavesdropping on Users’ Conversations

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Over the past year, it has become Maui’s most popular food delivery service, but now Lahaina based Hailoha-Eats is coming under fire from privacy advocates and concerned citizens alike. The company is accused of using its app to listen in on users’ conversations, even when they aren’t ordering anything. The company strongly denies the allegations, but Maui officials say they are looking into the complaints.

Whether you carefully go through every information sharing feature on your social media sites or you’re the kind of person who broadcasts everything openly from your ceremplant, there’s no doubt that privacy has become a big issue in our daily lives. Targeted marketing campaigns and personalized ads have become big business. While most of us expect to have our internet activities tracked in some way, that expectation does not cross over into real life. However, a concerning number of customers now report that is exactly what Hailoha-Eats is doing.

According to the results of a month-long investigation by privacy experts, the company has been “monitoring user conversations and using speech recognition tools to recommend certain foods and products from Veilcorp partners…..even when the app was not in use.”

The report goes on to say, “A user complained to Hailoha-Eats late last year that after she mentioned to a colleague that she was having SSHAM casserole for lunch, she was immediately hit with advertisements for SSHAM on all her social media sites. Similarly, a user based in Lahaina supposedly asked a Hailoha driver about their favorite surfing spots during a ride, and received numerous emails about surf shops only minutes later…… While most customers have complained about the app itself, there have been several stories linking the company’s eavesdropping to Hailoha vehicles as well.”

Hailoha says the allegations are without merit and the result of competing delivery services trying to take advantage of recent privacy concerns involving Veilcorp and their controversial drone program. Numerous Hailoha drivers have pushed back against the allegations that the company is recording customer conversations. One, in particular, says he finds the report and the accusations offensive.

Mark Me’e says, “I take the covenant of passenger and driver very seriously and would never do anything to break it. With so much of our lives connected online, or captured on video, there aren’t many places you can count on privacy or people you can talk to freely. Priests, lawyers, bartenders, and ride service drivers, these are the last stewards of free expression and privacy. If my customers didn’t think my car was a safe place to complain about their boss, spouse, friends or family, I’d stop driving. I consider all the conversations in my car sacred. What you say in Mark’s car, stays in Mark’s car. If I thought that any of these accusations were true, I’d drive away from Hailoha and not look back.”

While the report does not definitively conclude that Hailoha vehicles are listening in on conversations, it offers much evidence that the app is doing exactly that. One customer’s experience in particular highlights how dangerous this practice could be if proven true.

Randy Wilcox says he and some friends had just ordered some food and were busy playing a video game when things took a dangerous turn.

“There’s nothing better than potstickers when you’re playing Run Amok V with your friends. They stay good forever and don’t get in the way when you’re mashing buttons and going on a rampage. I had just ordered a couple of platters before discussing with the crew if we should rob the bank first, or go down to the waterfront to take out some tourists and collect some collateral bonuses. We decided to bloody the beach first and had just spotted the volleyball nets in the distance when all hell broke loose.

The apartment door was kicked in, followed by an explosion. Before any of us could figure out what was going on, tear gas began to fill the room and Ricky took a bean bag round to the face. We were all choking and drooling when the police threw us on the floor at gunpoint, screaming about where our weapons were. They said they had information that we were planning a terror attack on the beach. There’s no way a neighbor overheard us because I had the game room sound-proofed months before because of their complaints. It had to be the app. While I usually live for intense experiences, this one sucked! Poor Ricky still can’t see out of his left eye and the flashbang burned the carpet pretty good. From now on I’m not saying anything near my phone. It’s nothing but texting for me.”

STORYLINE

Alohagistics Signs Deal To Become Sole Distributor For Automated Pineapple Farm

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A little more than a month into 2049, and it’s already been a good year for Lahaina based logistics company Alohagistics. The ultra-cheap crowdsourced shipping company, best known for their promise that your package will, “Get There Eventually,” has penned a deal making them the exclusive distributor of Ananas Farms pineapples.

With the help of prolific inventor Ano Lee, Ananas Farms has single-handedly revitalized the pineapple business in Hawaii. Thanks to a state-of-the-art automated drone picking and planting program, the farm has been able to bring back an industry that was once a hallmark of the islands, but had all but disappeared. Roy Ananas, who now runs the farm his grandfather started, says he’s excited about the new Alohagistics partnership.

“We think Alohagistics is the perfect partner for our pineapple business. They embrace the same family values, aloha spirit, and eye for innovation that we do. It’s kind of ironic that Ano and I revolutionized the pineapple business by almost completely removing the human element, and automating as much as possible with our drones. Now, we’re going to do the same thing on the distribution side, by totally embracing the power of people and the crowd. With the help of our new partners, Lahaina will be able to enjoy locally delivered and grown pineapple at the peak of freshness, cheaper than ever before.”

One might wonder what a shipping company best known for being the choice of personal assistants looking for a new job, and the ultra-cheap, knows about shipping fruit. According to founder Charles Lohi, surprisingly, not a lot. “To be honest, we’re really learning a lot as we go,” he says.

“Since we basically only need to move packages around the island we’re doing pretty good. I’ve made a whole separate food division to make sure only our top tier Parcel Pals, and most reliable looking beginners, get boxes of Ananas pineapples. I’m most proud of the packaging, which helps our volunteer distributors easily recognize which boxes contain fruit. We hope that this packaging innovation will instill a sense of urgency in them, and get the pineapples where they need to be in a timely manner. So far, so good. We’re currently in talks to transport other Ananas Farms products, we’re especially interested in their algae business. Roy is convinced that it’s going to be the superfood of the future, and that’s good enough for us. Unfortunately, the wax treatment that keeps 20 pounds of pineapple perfectly safe during transport, isn’t quite enough to keep in the moisture of 20 pounds of freshly-scooped algae. We’re looking into different design options, as well as an even cheaper “Wet Packaging” freight option now, but we hope to be handing out Ananas algae soon.”

While the farm is singing the praises of their new exclusive partnership, many business owners, especially ones located near the Veil Station, have complained about abandoned packages, enormous clouds of fruit flies, and the smell of rotting fruit. Ano Lee, partner in farms pineapple business, says they are looking into solutions that can make everyone happy.

“Is the occasional forgotten box of 20 pounds of rotting pineapples a problem? I mean, not really. It’s not like it’s a bomb, or a huge public health hazard. It’s just old fruit. Everyone has experienced a garbage can that is holding something a little strong smelling. You just have to take care of it, and pow! No smell. I can understand that it is not not exactly a bonus for these business owners, but it’s not really a big deal. I’m working on a drone solution that can identify the chemicals rotting fruit give off, and will be able to remove abandoned packages, wherever they’re left.

The big story here isn’t the fruit flies, it’s the quality Alohagistics adds to our fruits. Most produce is picked well before peak flavor, and it is common for consumers to have to wait days before their pineapple is as delicious as it cold be. Thanks to the measured, leisurely distribution, offered by the company’s crowdsourced delivery, every Ananas pineapple you find in a store is as delicious as it’s ever going to be. It’s the perfect fruit for your perfect day. We handle the ripening, so you can enjoy the eating.”

STORYLINE

City Council Votes to Halt Construction of Algae Farm

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Known for delicious pineapples and their one-of-a-kind drone workforce, Ananas Farms is a popular destination for tourists and fruit lovers alike. The hi-tech farm has revitalized pineapple farming on the island almost single-handedly, but their next innovation has run into trouble from the Lahaina City Council. The farm has been building a state-of-the-art algae growing facility for the past six months, with the hopes of beginning production before summer. That goal seems unlikely now, as the city council has voted to halt construction pending a zoning investigation, and an environmental impact study. The farm says they have already filed all relevant paperwork, including a study with the state.

Roy Ananas says, “Algae is not just the food of the future, it has the potential to power homes, clean the environment, and help everyone become self-sustainable.” Ananas says he became interested in farming algae after attending The Hawaiian AG Expo in 2045, but hadn’t been able to seriously explore the field until last year. “The success of the pineapple business has allowed us to really expand the farm and explore other opportunities,” he says.

Roy points out that algae contains twice as much protein as most meat, and is packed with vitamins and minerals.

“It has more beta carotene than carrots and more iron than spinach. It really is a superfood. On top of that, microalgae takes up very little space, can grow in non-potable water or on non-arable soil in a way that reduces greenhouse gases, and without putting pressure on the environment. In addition, as a photosynthetic organism: algae uses sunlight to convert carbon dioxide and water into usable energy, expelling oxygen as a byproduct. I can envision a time when everyone has a big algae tank for food and energy in their backyard.”

Ananas says the algae project was greenlighted months ago, and the county has numerous environmental impact studies concerning the expansion already on file. He says the council’s shift in attitude is due to last month’s shake-up over the trash scandal, and one person, in particular, Bob Abramo.

Despite Roys accusations, Maui District Health Office official Betsy Kaukau says she respects the council’s decision saying, “Where there’s smoke there’s fire, and there’s plenty of smoke regarding the safety of the tanks used by Ananas Farms.” Kaukau says, “I don’t think Roy and his family divulged that they were using some of the same contractors responsible for building the Pilua Shrimp Farm and we all know how that turned out. It was so bad that the FDA got involved, calling it, ‘the most dangerous aquaculture operation the agency has ever seen.’ Thousands got sick from eating their tainted shrimp, and over 500,000 cans of SSHAM, SSHAM Less, and SSHAM Extra Spicy, had to be recalled for public safety. As far as I’m concerned those contractors, and anyone who’d use them, are just as responsible for all those sick people, as the owner who used the toxic shrimp feed.”

Ananas calls Kaukau statements ridiculous, pointing out that the contractors in question specialize in building aquaculture pools, ponds, and tanks. He claims they had nothing to do with the mismanagement responsible for the public health disaster at Pilua. “It’s like saying a tire company is responsible for drunk driving,” he says.

However, newly appointed member of the Lahaina City Council and Chairman of The Solid Waste Resource Advisory Committee Bob Abramo says that too many unanswered questions remain about the proposed algae farm, and the council needs to take a better look.

“If I’m not mistaken, Veilcorp dumped millions of urchins into the water surrounding Lahaina to eat the algae that was killing the coral. Now we’re going to grow more algae, on purpose so WE can eat it? I just have to ask why we didn’t send out a bunch of people who want to make salads out of this gunk, and cut out the urchins in the first place? We’re not talking about Nori wraps or Kombu and a nice dashi broth, we’re talking about pond scum. Our waters are too important to allow what is in essence, a scum factory to operate in Lahaina. Look, if you want to live your life taking supplements, drinking fermented tea, and licking the slime of off rocks to survive, that’s your right. Just don’t ask me to advocate it, or use public funds to support it. Make no mistake, the algae farm is a slippery slope. It’s just a matter of time before they’re pushing “Slimy Sundays” along with “Meatless Mondays”. People did not climb to the top of the food chain to not eat meat two days in a row. Worse yet, is when they try making burgers, and fake-chicken out of it. Thinking of all the children forced to eat green hot dogs at a picnic, breaks my meat-loving heart.”