STORYLINE

Let Hailoha-Eats Cater Your Next Event

Chances are you’ve probably heard about Hailoha-Eats by now, even if you haven’t personally used our service yet. We’ve been delivering the food that you crave for over a year in select locations. Whether it’s: masala dosa from India, Spanish paella, fat rice from Macau, French croissants, or even a dinner bowl from Hula Noodle just down the street, Hailoha-Eats has the biggest selection and the quickest delivery times around. What you may not know, is that for the past 3 months we’ve expanded our menu to include a unique catering service in Lahiana, and now we’re ready to enlarge our service area.

Our “Events On Demand” service provides you with a catering experience that you’re going to love from start to finish. All of your affairs including: corporate events, business engagements, receptions, dinners, picnics, box lunches, memorial receptions, religious events, cocktail parties, impromptu events, or group meals of a lifetime, will be a hit with our trained staff and endless offerings. Events On Demand let’s the party come to you!

We provide almost everything including setup, servers, tableware, clean-up, food and drink. We help you create and craft your event beginning to end. We walk you through each step of the process, and can be ready for most events in just a few hours with: gluten-free, sugar-free, fat-free, meat-free, and broth-free options. If you have tables and a roof, we can take care of the rest, but don’t take it from us. Here’s what one of our satisfied customers has to say.

“I work as a personal assistant in one of the fastest growing marketing firms on the island. My boss is great at his job, but isn’t really big on details. Since we’re still a growing firm, everyone works long hours and things slip through the cracks, like his anniversary, and his children’s special events. I felt uncomfortable planning them at first. Then he explained that if I didn’t like getting food for his kids’ Veil Scout banquet, and acting as his proxy, he could find someone who was more than happy to do it. It was the unscheduled business events that really got to me though.

We’d have dozens of clients coming in, and he’d forget to mention it until the day before. I’d have to spend my day handling all the usual office work, and scrambling to arrange food and entertainment with almost no lead time. I can’t tell you how many nights I ended up on my couch with a bottle of bourbon, and a stress headache. The pressure was almost unbearable. But then I heard about Halioha-Eats’ Events On Demand service, and things changed forever. The staff is friendly and professional, and unlike the office, nobody from Halioha has ever patted me on the butt after an event. The quality of the food is higher than my blood pressure used to be. Now I can put together any business event in an afternoon. Things have calmed down a lot at work, and I’ve been able to wean myself off of some of my medications. Thanks Hailoha-Eats! You are literally a life saver.”

Our service isn’t just for business. We specialize in more intimate events, closer to your heart as well. Our menu is as diverse and specialized as you need it to be. We can handle clients with a number of specific dietary needs and restrictions. Whether you are allergic to: tree nuts, milk, soy, wheat, egg, corn, Alpha-gal, garlic, peanuts, shellfish, dried fruits, onions, finfish, or gelatin, we can craft a menu perfect for you and your guests.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a 20 person holiday party, or a 200 person wedding reception. Providing you with exceptional quality service, exquisite food, and beautiful presentation, is always our priority and our privilege. Our private party specialists are friendly and eager to help you make your event a success. Give us a call, and find out just how easy throwing a memorable event can be.

“My great-grandmother TuTu has been the rock on which our family was built on for as long as I can remember. I grew up hearing about how much she sacrificed for the family and I’ve seen plenty with my own eyes. She gave one of her kidneys to her sister 50 years ago, and took in my cousins after my aunt and uncle were in an accident. I don’t know of too many 70-year-olds who could have handled raising a handful of traumatized teenagers, but she did. She made every dance, game, and event without slowing down. In a word, she is amazing!

This year, she was turning 100, and there was no way we weren’t going to do everything we could to help celebrate the woman who had spent her life making all of our lives better. However, we had some concerns. For as tough as she is, nobody has figured out a way to beat time, and 100 is pushing the limits. We’re not the kind of family that can afford to send her to the Kokua Wellness Center for treatments. You wouldn’t believe how much they wanted for a Nuuskin TuTu. We love her with all of our hearts, but it seemed like planning an event too far in advance was a gamble at her age. The last thing we wanted was to lose our deposit if she didn’t make it to her birthday, but Hailoha-Eats’ Events On Demand service was the perfect solution. Because we were holding the party here, and only had around 50 guests, they were able to accommodate us with only 2 hours notice. When she woke up that morning, we were able to book the food without worry, at a great price. They gave her the best birthday cake she ever had, and the rest of us some peace of mind. I can’t recommend them enough!”

Talk with one of our event specialists now, and get a free appetizer with your first confirmed booking. Your perfect party is only a call away!

STORYLINE

Man With Goose Phobia Calls Food Delivery Service For Help Scaring Away Birds

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A Lahaina area man with a severe phobia of geese found himself face to face with his worst fear Saturday night, when a group of nene surrounded his home just before dusk. After calling for help from his neighbors, the police, and animal control, to no avail, 48-year-old Kevin Morrow devised an unorthodox solution to his problem. He ordered a meal from the popular Hailoha-Eats delivery service, and asked the delivery driver to scare off the offending birds.

According to Morrow it was an ordinary Saturday evening. He was busy working on his latest book, outlining the danger food carts present to traditional family dinner rituals, when his dog Howie began to bark uncontrollably. Looking out the window, Kevin’s worst nightmare came true when he saw his yard was filled with nene.

Suffering from an acute fear of the state bird, he tried calling his neighbors for help, but they didn’t answer the phone. He next tried the police, but was told that they didn’t handle goose removal, and he should try animal control if they were still in the yard in the morning. Desperate for help, it was then that Morrow spotted the Hailoha-Eats flyer.

“I have more than a few phobias,” says Morrow “I suffer from: meleagrisphobia, the fear of turkeys, alektorophobia, the fear of chickens, and anatidaephobia, the fear of geese. Actually, I find most birds and many social situations to be daunting at the very least. It’s the geese that’s the worst though. There’s just something terrible in the way they walk and sound. They’re so aggressive! To be honest, I wasn’t surprised that I didn’t get any support from my neighbors. I’ve learned that they have little interest in hearing my opinions about their duty to mow the sections of my lawn that their kids play on, let alone scare off dozens of geese there. However, the fact that the police refused to help was very disappointing. When I learned I’d have to wait until morning to call animal control, I could feel myself beginning to spiral into a full blown panic attack. It was then the Hailoha-Eats pamphlet caught my eye. I use the service often, and knew that every order has a “Special Instructions” section. I made the call, turned off the lights so the geese couldn’t see me with their demonic-beady-little-eyes, and waited for help.”

Within minutes delivery driver Mark Me’e pulled into Morrow’s driveway, only to find a dark house. “The order came with a request that read ‘Help with birds,’” says Me’e. “Since it was Peking duck with extra crepes, and a side of foie gras, I thought maybe it was someone who needed help dishing out the food or something. But when I turned on my brights to make sure I had the right address, I saw what it really meant. There were dozens of geese on top of the house, and a bunch more came walking up from the side yard. I half expected Tippi Hedren to appear. None of them were making any noise. They were just looking at me. It was one of the creepiest things that I’ve ever seen.

I honked the horn to scare them away but they all squawked back at me, almost in unison. Honk. Squawk. Honk. Squawk. I rolled down the window to shout at them, and it was then that I noticed that I didn’t hear any bugs or other animals. It was completely silent. I called the customer contact number, and after going to voicemail a few times, Kevin answered. I asked what was going on; he explained his phobia, and said he was pretty sure they would hurt him if he went outside. He begged me to help scare them away, and I said I’d do my best.

They weren’t acting like normal nene. When I opened the door, a bunch of them put their heads low, and made a straight line towards me. It freaked me out so much that I got back in the car, and called Kevin again. I told him that I just drive people around, and deliver food, wrangling disturbing geese was above my paygrade. He sounded so scared though, that I couldn’t just leave him in there. I remembered that I had some emergency flares in the trunk, and told Kevin that I’d need him to draw the bird’s attention so I could get to them. He turned on the lights inside, and all the geese ran to the windows. I popped the trunk and ran to get the flares. I could see some of them turn back to me as I sprinted around the car. I grabbed the flares, lit a couple, and began throwing them in the yard while screaming at the top of my lungs. I can only imagine what it must have looked like to anyone driving past, but it worked. They flew off together, and I gave Kevin his food and a big hug. It’s a delivery I’ll never forget.”

Unusual animal encounters are on the rise in Lahaina, and this incident has many guessing what may have caused the strange behavior in the usually shy geese. Some say it is shifting climate patterns forcing the birds to seek out food in new places, while others place the blame firmly on Veilcorp, their travel technology, and their solar 127 harvesting program. The Department of Land and Natural Resources is expected to release the findings of their investigation into the issue later this year.

Whatever the outcome of the DLNR’s investigation, Morrow says he can’t thank Mark enough, and just wishes he could reward him more for his actions.

“There aren’t a lot of people who would have done what Mark did. I believe he saved Howie and I that evening. That’s why it was so hard to only rate him 3 out of 5 stars and reduce his tip. There’s no doubting his bravery, but at the end of the day he is a food delivery driver, and I was forced to judge him on that criteria. By the time he scared the geese away my crepes had become soggy, and he forgot my extra cucumbers and sauce. To be honest, 3 stars was probably a little too generous. I wish his company offered some sort of personal rating system, but until they do, I have to follow their guidelines. As a person, I can’t say enough nice things about Mark Me’e, but as a delivery driver, he’s a bit wanting.”

STORYLINE

Lahaina’s Biggest Food Delivery App Accused of Eavesdropping on Users’ Conversations

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Over the past year, it has become Maui’s most popular food delivery service, but now Lahaina based Hailoha-Eats is coming under fire from privacy advocates and concerned citizens alike. The company is accused of using its app to listen in on users’ conversations, even when they aren’t ordering anything. The company strongly denies the allegations, but Maui officials say they are looking into the complaints.

Whether you carefully go through every information sharing feature on your social media sites or you’re the kind of person who broadcasts everything openly from your ceremplant, there’s no doubt that privacy has become a big issue in our daily lives. Targeted marketing campaigns and personalized ads have become big business. While most of us expect to have our internet activities tracked in some way, that expectation does not cross over into real life. However, a concerning number of customers now report that is exactly what Hailoha-Eats is doing.

According to the results of a month-long investigation by privacy experts, the company has been “monitoring user conversations and using speech recognition tools to recommend certain foods and products from Veilcorp partners…..even when the app was not in use.”

The report goes on to say, “A user complained to Hailoha-Eats late last year that after she mentioned to a colleague that she was having SSHAM casserole for lunch, she was immediately hit with advertisements for SSHAM on all her social media sites. Similarly, a user based in Lahaina supposedly asked a Hailoha driver about their favorite surfing spots during a ride, and received numerous emails about surf shops only minutes later…… While most customers have complained about the app itself, there have been several stories linking the company’s eavesdropping to Hailoha vehicles as well.”

Hailoha says the allegations are without merit and the result of competing delivery services trying to take advantage of recent privacy concerns involving Veilcorp and their controversial drone program. Numerous Hailoha drivers have pushed back against the allegations that the company is recording customer conversations. One, in particular, says he finds the report and the accusations offensive.

Mark Me’e says, “I take the covenant of passenger and driver very seriously and would never do anything to break it. With so much of our lives connected online, or captured on video, there aren’t many places you can count on privacy or people you can talk to freely. Priests, lawyers, bartenders, and ride service drivers, these are the last stewards of free expression and privacy. If my customers didn’t think my car was a safe place to complain about their boss, spouse, friends or family, I’d stop driving. I consider all the conversations in my car sacred. What you say in Mark’s car, stays in Mark’s car. If I thought that any of these accusations were true, I’d drive away from Hailoha and not look back.”

While the report does not definitively conclude that Hailoha vehicles are listening in on conversations, it offers much evidence that the app is doing exactly that. One customer’s experience in particular highlights how dangerous this practice could be if proven true.

Randy Wilcox says he and some friends had just ordered some food and were busy playing a video game when things took a dangerous turn.

“There’s nothing better than potstickers when you’re playing Run Amok V with your friends. They stay good forever and don’t get in the way when you’re mashing buttons and going on a rampage. I had just ordered a couple of platters before discussing with the crew if we should rob the bank first, or go down to the waterfront to take out some tourists and collect some collateral bonuses. We decided to bloody the beach first and had just spotted the volleyball nets in the distance when all hell broke loose.

The apartment door was kicked in, followed by an explosion. Before any of us could figure out what was going on, tear gas began to fill the room and Ricky took a bean bag round to the face. We were all choking and drooling when the police threw us on the floor at gunpoint, screaming about where our weapons were. They said they had information that we were planning a terror attack on the beach. There’s no way a neighbor overheard us because I had the game room sound-proofed months before because of their complaints. It had to be the app. While I usually live for intense experiences, this one sucked! Poor Ricky still can’t see out of his left eye and the flashbang burned the carpet pretty good. From now on I’m not saying anything near my phone. It’s nothing but texting for me.”

STORYLINE

Your Food Delivery Service Is Pretty Awesome!

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Hello business dudes and dudettes. I thought I’d take a moment to share just how awesome your Hailoha Eats service is. It’s changed the way I eat. I mean not the way I physically eat; I still do it with my mouth and stuff. I mean the way I look forward to my meals everyday. I’m an artist, but I never thought of food as art before. You’ve really opened my eyes. Nothing is perfect though, so I’d like to suggest a few improvements along with my praise.

When I saw the flyer about Hailoha partnering with Veilcorp to make a pilot food delivery service I was confused as to how they’d get the food up there to them. Then my buddy explained that in this case pilot meant like a one time thing to see if it worked and had nothing to do with flying. That made a lot more sense so I thought we’d give it a try.

One of the things I liked right away was that it was a 24/7 kind of thing. That fit perfectly with my lifestyle. I’m currently taking a break from the rat race that was art school and spending some much needed recharge time at my mom’s beach house. I spend a lot of time relaxing with my friends and just trying to be chill. This really messes up my eating schedule. It’s hard to find a place that serves breakfast when you don’t get up until noon. Sometimes we chill so hard that we forget to eat until our bellies are rumbling at 3am or something, and before your service we’d just have to stay awake until the sun came up and the cafe’s opened.

I won’t lie, I was a little shocked at the prices but I get a pretty good chunk of change from my trust fund every 3 months so I can afford it. I’m not saying that it’s too expensive, I guess. All the food is Veiled over to the island from across the world so I guess that takes a lot of organization and working together. I hate having to go down to the store with everyone’s drink order so I can’t imagine what a hassle working with thousands of restaurants across the world is.

At first we played this game where we’d pick a 3 course meal at random. I’d spin the globe in the study, close my eyes and stop it with a finger until we had places to order from. We ate a lot of weird stuff that way, but we also got to try things we normally wouldn’t. It was kinda fun but then we hit gold with the holy trinity of food. Nothing, I repeat nothing finishes a hard day of hanging out like a savory Moroccan pigeon tagine, followed with some chili crab from Singapore for heat, and some sweet Argentinian dulce de leche empanadas. We’ve had it every night for almost 2 weeks now. There’s no way anyone could complain in good conscience about prices after experiencing that meal. It’s like having the gods of flavor dance on your tongue.

I didn’t think it would be at first, but being able to pick your delivery driver has turned into a huge plus for me. The first guy that showed up was late and left his brights on when he came to the door which is a huge foul. Cold food and blinding light was not how I wanted my night to wrap up. Then we had a lady that just wanted to talk about everything. She wanted to know where we were from and all kinds of stuff. Greg got freaked out and ran into his room. It took about an hour for all the tension to leave after she did. Then we got Mark. That dude was born to deliver food. He calls to confirm when he is on his way so nobody who forgot we ordered food is surprised. He turns off the lights before he turns into the driveway, it’s like he thinks of everything. He even leaves a handful of peppermint candies with every order. Mark is a huge part of why we use your service every day.

The onsite cameras are a mixed bag for me. At first I appreciated the monotony of watching people prep and make food during the middle of the night. Having something I could zone out on was cool and especially useful if I’d been partying too hard. The problem was that we’d occasionally see stuff that wasn’t so appetizing. It turned out that the overnight guy at our favorite pizza shop had a itch he couldn’t seem to scratch no matter how hard he tried, and man did he try. He scratched himself often and everywhere. The pies just didn’t taste the same after we saw how they were made. We also had a custom cake place we used to get dessert from all the time until we saw that the head baker liked to keep his hands warm inside his assistants pants. They’d go at it on the prep tables making adultery angels in the piles of flour. When we saw that they’d still use the flour, we stopped ordering pastries. I filled out all the proper complaint forms of course, but I guess I’m just the kind of guy who believes ignorance is bliss.

So there it is. Maybe have a no camera option so people don’t get caught going down that rabbit hole and more Mark. Leave everything else the same. Feel free to pass my feedback on down the line. If you’re ever looking for someone to do like testimonials or be a spokesperson or something hit me up. I’m pretty articulate and a good looking dude who could use a side gig that doesn’t take too long. My chili crab bill is starting to get crazy.

Very satisfied customer,
Jake Tripper