STORYLINE

My Last Day at Waihona Station

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After all the years of doing this, I never really got used to the way it feels when you step out of the veil. I focus on not being nauseous in the few seconds before the automated lights turn on. I notice the mud on the floor right away. Someone on the team sent here to deliver the 127 power unit yesterday had dirty boots. Before I do anything, I get a stick vacuum and make a mental note to tell Sam that his crew needs to be more careful. This may be my last day, but over the past 19 years Waihona Station and I have built a special relationship. There’s no way I’ll be able to enjoy my retirement if I’m worrying about people tracking mud everywhere.

Once the floor is clean, I grab my tools and start working on installing the 127 unit. They say it can last 400 years. I hope that doesn’t mean the company plans on cutting the hours of my replacement, this place needs constant TLC to stay in optimum shape. It takes me most of the morning to finish the installation, and to be honest I’m glad that I don’t have to start it up. I had my concerns four years ago when the first canister of solar produced 127 arrived in Maui, and a lift operator spilled a whole container a while back, that almost took his and a co-workers life. I don’t think it’s giving everyone cancer or making them crazy like the TV lawyers say, I just want to avoid being engulfed in a radioactive fire on my last day.

I move on to dusting and changing the filters in the operations room, sinking into a familiar rhythm. Things have changed a lot since I was assigned to Waihona in 2031. Joe wasn’t even ten yet when I started, and now he’s in grad school. I was in the data room when the Gateway Travel Accord was signed, and now people from almost every nation are veiling across the globe every day. I was up here during the Veilcorp Luau attack. Actually, I was here almost 24 hours that day. They locked down everything including veil travel. That reminds me , I need to check the food storage and make sure the protein bars aren’t expired in the event that we have another travel halt. When Eric Oeming returned to work, I was replacing some wiring. A lot has happened, but this place stays the same. It even survived hurricane Neki. I have a lot of respect for that.

I knew going in, that saying goodbye to Frank was going to be the hardest part of today, so I decide to put it off and work through lunch. I enter the data room to replace a few fans. I know that there are dozens of these satellite backup stations, but I can’t help but feel a sense of wonder, and a little nervous when I’m in this section. The data and personalities of tens of thousands, maybe more, is stored here. I know they say it’s only a backup, but I can’t help but imagine accidentally spilling something, or disconnecting the wrong cable and wiping out half of Lahaina. I replace the fans without a hitch. There isn’t anything left to do now but walk the exterior, and see an old friend for the last time.

One of the worst things about being a remote tech is the isolation. Most of these backup stations are in very remote locations, and the only time you see anyone else is when something is seriously broken. It can get lonely, but I made a friend on my first day. Perched on a rock, and upset that I’m taking my lunch 3 hours late, Frank squawks his disappointment with me when I walk outside. They say Ravens are among the smartest animals on Earth, and by the way Frank has memorized my weekly schedule, I believe it.

I take out his bag of bread, and throw bits to him as I walk the building. I make a note that the southern vent is going to need replacing, while Frank protests that I stopped distributing his lunch for a moment. I don’t see anything else of note and make my way back to the raven’s rock. I swear Frank does a little dance of excitement when he sees the tin of sardines, one of his favorite treats. I don’t say much as I feed him, just goodbye, and thanks for all the years. I tell him I’ll leave a note about him for my replacement, but I can’t promise he likes birds as much as I do. Part of me hopes that he doesn’t. Big changes are coming for Frank and I, but I have a feeling we’ll be fine.

STORYLINE

Should Veilcorp be Required To Evacuate People During an Emergency?

Veilcorp sends millions of people on billions of trips every year, but should they be legally required to transport people to safe areas during an emergency? According to a growing number of people, including Rep. John Kildee, the answer is yes. Kildee has introduced a bill which would designate the Veil station in Lahaina as an emergency evacuation center, and require the company to send evacuees to a “safe destination” during an emergency. Veilcorp says the proposed law is an unnecessary government overreach.

Representative Kildee and his supporters say that House Bill 6239 is about protecting life, and ensuring that all available tools and options are open and ready in case of an emergency. Kildee points out that the InterIsland Preservation and Travel Act (IPTA), passed in 2046, already allows the government to regulate how many people are allowed to use veil technology to travel to Maui. “6239 is similar, but less intrusive to the company,” he says.

“Less than three years ago we were hit with the worst hurricane to ever make landfall in Hawaii. It was a miracle that more people weren’t hurt. Despite what some might have you believe, the world is not safe. While we are able to easily travel vast distances in the blink of an eye, it has not brought us together. Some regions have never been more dangerous, and the threat of a missile attack looms darker now than it ever has. Veilcorp has the technology to help all citizens get to safety during a natural disaster, attack, or civil event emergency. House Bill 6239 simply ensures that Veilcorp uses their technology to help those in great need. We want to ensure everyone’s safety, not just those who can afford it.”

Veilcorp COO Lisa Hunt says that the company already has protocols in place to handle emergencies and evacuations, and that the bill is more about political theater than public safety. “Rep. Kildee is once again beating his anti-Veilcorp drum to rally his base, but it is unnecessary,” she says.

“When hurricane Neki hit the island, hundreds of residents were safe in Veilcorp shelters. During the terrorist attack that claimed 10 lives, and injured many more, we transported people to safe locations, not knowing if more bombings were to come. We already do all the things mandated in this bill, but we do them efficiently without government interference. Look, many of us live in the Lahaina area. The people that this bill would cover are our friends and neighbors. We wouldn’t hesitate to help them in an emergency. We’ve been in the business of moving people from one place to another for over two decades. We’re pretty good at it, and getting the government into the mix will make things more dangerous, not less.”

Some agree with Hunts assertion, and believe a law forcing the company to transport people during an emergency is a bad idea. Many residents have expressed concerns over where they would be sent, with one local telling the Lahaina Advertiser, “I live in Lahaina because I fell in love with the people, sights and sounds. I don’t want the government forcing Veilcorp to send me somewhere with strange smelling food, and the daily news in a language I don’t understand. How am I supposed to find out what is happening to my home? What if I get sent somewhere with terrible coffee, and horrible wireless connectivity?”

Local author Kevin Morrow says the bill, as written, would be a mistake because it overlooks many logistical problems. He says, “I’ve actually been studying the Lahaina Veils Station since it was built and I can say with 100% certainty, that the line and queuing system inside would fail during an emergency situation.”

“Living in such close proximity, most of us have been in the veil station during a busy time like the holidays. The lines are like something out of a nightmare. Now imagine how bad they would be if people were scared for their lives. People push, pull, and fight in lines over bargains while shopping. Imagine the chaos involved with a line full of people who are trying to reach safety, and not just the last must-have toy of the year. Stanchions and retractable belts are no match for a crowd of anxious people.”

Morrow says he doesn’t believe that the government would be any better prepared to efficiently handle lines than Veilcorp, and says one only need visit their local DMV lobby for proof. However, he says he has a plan that could solve the problem.

“The main issue is that waiting in line is not natural. Lines are, for the most part, a product of The Industrial Revolution. Factory work changed people’s schedules forever. Instead of working sporadically throughout the day, people were now starting and leaving work at the same time, creating crowds. To deal with the chaos of this newfound social phenomena, we invented lines. In their lifetime, the average person spends five years waiting in line. The truth is the human psyche is not strong enough to endure that period of time participating in an unnatural social construct, especially with the prospect of impending doom lingering. That’s why I endorse such things as: Secure queuing chutes, letting evacuees pick waiting teams, assigning numbers in micro-waiting areas, and certified line soothers, who would assure you that your turn is coming soon. It’s all inside my 38-point “Better Queuing Plan” which I have shared with Rep. Kildee’s office and Veilcorp. Residents would have enough to worry about in the event of something like a missile attack. The last thing they’d need to deal with is the mental toll and physical dangers that a slow or mismanaged line would cause. Personally, I’d rather take my chances with a missile.”

STORYLINE

Re: Your Inquiry About the Necessity of Our Emergency Drills

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Let me start off by thanking you Shelby for voicing your concerns about Tanager Lane’s quarterly emergency drills. I appreciate your questions almost as much as I appreciate you CCing everyone in the association. We can always count on you asking about procedures and rules already put in place, just in case someone is a little slow on the uptake, or has a hard time comprehending what their obligations are. I am a little confused as to why you didn’t bring it up when I delivered the list of your monthly HOA violations, but as usual the list was quite long, so perhaps it slipped your mind. In any event, the short answer to your question is, Yes, we really need to hold surprise emergency drills in the association every three months. Yes we do!

Practice makes perfect Shelby. I appreciate your concern that, “The last drill took place at 3am. The sirens terrified the kids and Frank couldn’t get back to sleep.” If I could bend the laws of nature, I would certainly schedule fires, hurricanes, and earthquakes at a more reasonable hour, one that better fits with your families sleep schedule. However, I’m too busy most days trying to make sure that Tanager Lane remains safe, and has the highest property values of any neighborhood on the island. It’s a tough job, especially when I have to explain things over and over again.

Times have changed, and recent events prove that anything can happen. We need to be prepared Shelby, certainly better prepared than you were for the Labor Day party this past weekend. I know it was unusually warm, but you ran out of cold drinks in the first hour, despite my warnings about the lack of ice when I arrived. If you had held emergency ice drills with your family, perhaps the party wouldn’t have been such a disappointment.

The past few years have seen many possible dangers that we need to be ready for, if we want our properties to remain the most sought after in Lahaina. We’ve had: record setting hurricanes destroy Front Street, massive explosions that put people in the hospital, and caused property damage. Do you remember the protest floatilla? What if all those people decided to drunkenly wander into the neighborhood, while a house was being shown? Sure, the wall probably would have kept most of them out, but we’ve never tested it against an angry horde before.

I know that you feel, “…using real emergency response vehicles, and actors is a waste of our HOA dues,” but we need to make these drills as realistic as possible, because some day, the danger might be real. The preparedness company that I have contracted is the finest of its kind, working with numerous municipalities and even Veilcorp. Their specialists not only mix up the kind of faux emergencies, but they track the response times of each home in the neighborhood, and present the findings in detailed reports every quarter.

I’m sure you’ve seen where your family ranks, and that’s what I want to get through to you. I know that you have a sort of “open and free” parenting philosophy, but we need everyone’s response in an emergency to be second nature, even our kids. I want your children to be preparedness superstars. I don’t want them to struggle in an emergency, like they do in sports and school.

I understand that you’re having trouble grasping the big picture here, but frankly the Tanager Lane bylaws and regulation documents don’t have a “what does Shelby think?” provision. Perhaps you are unaware that flooding alone costs Hawaiian homeowners over $12 billion a year. Perhaps you don’t know that having a well rehearsed emergency plan can save lives, and head off possible property damage. Perhaps you haven’t heard that the state agrees with me, and is installing an island-wide alert system for the very reasons we hold these drills. Perhaps you are, once again, in over your head Shelby.

STORYLINE

World War II Era Mine Discovered At Veilcorp Construction Site

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A construction crew got the surprise of their lives over the weekend, when they discovered a World War II era mine while working on a Veilcorp project. According to reports, the workers discovered the mine early Saturday, but didn’t know what it was. It was only after one of the workers posted a picture of the device on social media that it was identified as a mine. Work at the site was immediately halted while the Navy’s explosive ordnance technicians secured the device. Veilcorp says they are glad nobody was hurt in the incident, and are thankful for the Navy’s quick response.

The Maui Conservation and Recovery Act set strict guidelines on the storage of 127, and other hazardous materials on Maui. As a result, Veilcorp has been building a number of underground storage facilities across the island to store the volatile, and controversial element used in the veiling process. The mine was discovered by a crew working on one such storage site.

According to Ronnie Kalipalani, owner of Ronnie Kalipalani Construction, it all started Saturday morning when his company broke ground on the project. Within minutes, his team found what they thought was a discarded fuel tank buried just inches below the ground. The crew spent the next few days trying to clean-up the object, and discussing what they were going to do with it. After one of the crew posted a picture on social media of himself posing with the object, Navy personnel descended on the site, and evacuated the construction workers. “It was one of the scariest things I’ve ever experienced in my life, and I lived through the lurchin craze,” says Kalipalani.

“We find buried stuff all the time. You’d be surprised what can end up in the ground,” says Ronnie. “Mike found the mine while working the excavator. It was pretty beat up, but you could tell that it had been in the water at some point because of all the coral build-up. It looked like an old fuel tank to me, and Mike asked if he could keep it. He builds all kinds of things out of old junk we find in demo jobs. I’ve seen him make grills, planters, chairs, and even drums out of old tanks we’ve found. You’d be surprised at what the tourists will buy, and how much they’re willing to pay if you tell them something was made by a local artist. Thankfully we decided to try and clean it up before cutting it apart. I’m not sure we’d be around to talk about it if we hadn’t. We tried using the angle grinder, but after chipping away at it most of the day, we had to give up and do some actual work. The next day we started building a jig to hold it in place so we could take the jackhammer to it. We secured it, and were just about to start hammering, when all these Navy vehicles showed up and everyone was shouting. At first, I thought one of my guys had snuck into the base again, but then they told me what was up. I’m still shaking thinking about how close we all came to being blown up.”

The mine was identified as a Japanese type 93 model 4 anti-ship mine. While the Japanese used relatively few naval mines during WWII, hundreds of thousands were still deployed throughout the Pacific. Weighing in at over 1,500 pounds, the mine contained 243 pounds of explosive when deployed. Officials say they believe the mine was washed ashore and buried when hurricane Neki hit Maui last summer.

“These people were extremely lucky,” says a Navy spokesperson. “These mines were built to punch through the armored hulls of military vessels. If it could destroy a foot of reinforced steel, I assure you it would have no trouble obliterating a person. It was the corroded firing mechanism and age that saved lives here. This device uses what’s known as a hertz horn mechanism. Each of the four horns contains acid. When something hits a horn hard enough the container breaks, acid spills out energizing a battery, and the mine explodes. Despite their actions, the horns were so corroded that they were no longer functional in this instance, saving lives. While finding an unexploded WWII mine is highly unlikely, we would like to encourage the public to not take power tools to any mysterious objects they happen to find in the ground. If you don’t know what something is, call authorities before you start hammering on it! Please.”

Kalipalani and crew say they are thankful for the Navy’s swift action and would like to thank whoever saw the picture and alerted authorities. However, Ronnie does have one request.

“We are beyond thankful of course that nobody was hurt, but we’d really like the mine back. I mean it’s not everyday you find a piece of history like that, and Mike had some great plans about how to chop it up. I thought there was some sort of rule about abandoned property becoming the finders after 90 days, but everyone I’ve talked to at the base seems to think that isn’t true. They could at least give us a few dummy bombs or training warheads or something if they plan on keeping our mine. We’re not trying to be jerks. We’re willing to work with them here. We just want what’s fair and reasonable.”

STORYLINE

Opposition To Emergency Siren System Grows In Lahaina

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A new multimillion dollar alert system in Lahaina is facing stiff opposition from residents, business owners, and environmentalists alike. A petition has been started asking the county to postpone a scheduled test at the end of this month until a number of concerns have been addressed. The county says that the system is a long needed public safety feature and has no plans to halt the test, or its expansion.

Installation of the new alert system began last month with little public resistance initially. County spokesperson Ellen Pahili says, “The alert system is something that we’ve frankly needed for a long time. After the wide-spread panic and confusion caused by the Veilcorp attack in 2041, it was decided that we needed a better alert system. It’s just too bad that it has taken 7 years to actual make any headway on the project.” Pahilil says that the devastation left behind after hurricane Neki, and the subsequent fireworks explosion, proved the need for the system to many holdouts. “If we could have warned everyone when Neki was about to make landfall we could have saved lives,” she says.

The Maui Emergency Management Agency, along with The Hawaii Emergency Management Agency, plans on testing the system along the Honoapiilani Highway, around Kahana and the Lahaina Waste Water Treatment Plant. The test is scheduled for Thursday, May 28 between 9am and 4pm. Officials say nearby residents may hear the siren sound eight to ten times for one-minute intervals during the identified time frame. Testing will include a series of short blasts known as “burps.” Emergency management officials and technicians will be conducting a number of system checks at that time to ensure everything is working properly.

The Lahaina Conservation Association’s (LCA) spokesperson Kimberly Hekili says that the test will disrupt the lives of many endangered animals, one of the most important of which is the Hawaiian monk seal. The official state mammal of Hawaii, the Hawaiian monk seal is one of the most critically endangered marine mammals in the world. According to NOAA estimates there are less than 500 left, with less than 50 calling the main islands home. With a breeding population residing near Lahaina, Hekili says we can’t afford to scare mothers away from their newborn pups. “These beautiful and rare creatures are one of the two mammal species native to Hawaii. They were here before people, and it’s our duty to ensure that they can continue to survive here. For the first time in decades, we have a group of seals using the waters and beaches in Lahaina as a nursery. They are already protected under the Endangered Species Act, and the Marine Mammal Protection Act, so we don’t understand the county’s decision to potentially scare these vital animals away. Times and technology have changed. With the ubiquitousness of ceremplants and smartphones, we don’t need a siren based alert system anymore than we need a city blacksmith.”

Other residents have concerns over the sirens as well. Noted author and Lahaina resident Kevin Morrow worries not only about startling the seals, but people too. He has started a petition to postpone the construction and testing of the alert system until the county addresses a number of misgivings.

“My major concern about this system is its potential to dramatically startle someone. We’ve all spilled or dropped something when we were startled. According to my extensive video research, many times these spills involve hot beverages and burns, as well as the destruction of valuable electronics. It has been proven that human beings make poor decisions while under stress and terrible decisions when they’re scared. If the county truly wants to help people during an emergency situation, they wouldn’t put them in a panic with a 135 dB scream during the middle of the night. I have provided the county a number of alternative sounds that could alert the public in a more responsible way: seabird calls, any standard ring tone, dogs barking, or ukelele music. Even a loud but calm voice saying something like, ‘Please be advised that something terrible is about to happen. We recommend that you immediately seek shelter in an orderly manner and await further instructions.’ I believe that any one of these alternatives will serve to alert the public, as well as avoid any unnecessary frightening.”

Pahili reiterates that the system is long overdue and counters, “We’ve consulted with a number of DLNR biologists who say that the tests will not have any negative impact on wildlife, including the monk seals. As far as Kevin Morrow goes, what we are most concerned about is the continued coverage the Lahaina Advertiser gives this man. There is a long history of the paper printing his misguided ideas and eccentric theories. We believe this exposure is not helpful to the public in general, or Mr. Morrow specifically.

STORYLINE

Man Who Set Off Massive Fireworks Explosion Files Suit

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The man who set off the massive fireworks explosion in Lahiana last month, injuring 27 people, has filed suit against the county. 51-year-old resident Randy Wilcox accidentally ignited the Fourth of July stockpile while participating in the cleanup effort after the devastating landfall of Hurricane Neki. Wilcox claims that the county failed to take reasonable care of the fireworks and is seeking damages. Nonetheless, officials continue to investigate him for possible criminal wrongdoing in the case.

There is no minimizing the destruction left behind by Neki, but the storm brought out an amazing sense of cooperation and community in Lahaina. Hundreds of volunteers worked to clear debris and look after injured neighbors in the days after the big storm. Randy Wilcox was one such volunteer and was working with a group to clear a road on July 6th, when they discovered a box of fireworks. Eyewitness reports about the precise series of events conflict, but there is no dispute that Wilcox fired the rocket that ignited the unseen stockpile of fireworks, lying just underneath the debris in the road. The ensuing explosion was felt on Front Street and could be heard in Olowalu, more than 6 miles away. While 27 people were injured in the blast, remarkably, no one was killed.

“Like everyone else, we had been working all day when I spotted the fireworks. I thought we’d take a break and have some fun,” says Wilcox. “We found a half-full fuel can a little earlier, so I thought it’d be fun to shoot at it. I didn’t know that the debris in the road was what was left of the shed where they had stored the fireworks from the cancelled show. I put a bunch of sparklers in front of the can and started shooting bottle rockets at it. It took a while for the sparklers to catch but once they did everything happened pretty fast. I remember the can popping and watching the burning fuel spread out and almost right away I felt the ground under my feet just lift up. My face felt really hot and the next thing I know, my boots are smoking and I’m flying through air. This was not the first time I’d been accidentally launched somewhere, but this time I was spinning around like a frisbee. I knew I was in trouble. I ended up crashing through the front window of a house nearby where my new hero Craig Luahi saved my life. If he hadn’t been sitting on the couch right where I landed to cushion my impact, I might not be here today. I feel awful that he’s still recovering from his injuries but I thank him and the man upstairs for looking out for me. I just wish they had been more careful with how and where they stored the fireworks, someone could have died because of their carelessness.“

Luahi disagrees strongly with Wilcox’s take on the situation and is suing him for his injuries and the loss of his couch. “Like a lot of others I was just happy to have made it through the storm unharmed. The house had a little bit of roof damage but nothing major. Best of all, my couch hadn’t even gotten wet. We’d already been through a lot together. It was the first big thing I had bought for my first apartment. It wasn’t new or anything but it was the nicest thing I had. Even though I was eating off of TV trays and using milk crates for end tables, I always had that couch to sit on. I worked during the day, went to class every night for years and that couch was my bed when I was too tired to move. I learned that I was going to be a father for the first time resting on those cushions. I was sitting in the same place when I heard that my grandma passed away. That couch and I shared 20 years of life and now we had even made it through a hurricane together. I had just opened a cold beer and took a little sip when I heard the explosion. It looked like a huge flock of birds at first through the window. As it got closer, I could see it was bits of wood and stone, with something trailing smoke in the middle. By the time I could tell the smoking part was a person, Randy was crashing through the window. I heard the frame crack when his head smashed into my teeth and we sank back into the torn fabric. My beer was knocked out of my hand and ended up wedged in the broken arm rest. I tried to reach it but couldn’t. I had to watch it spill out over the cushions. Because of Randy’s actions I’ve had to relive that moment over and over again while I’ve been recovering. I blame him 100% for the explosion, my injuries, and my torn, beer-soaked-cushions!”

The mayor’s office says they can not comment on the case because of the ongoing criminal investigation. However, an anonymous source familiar with the case agrees with Luahi calling Mr. Wilcox’s actions before and after the incident “disgraceful.” They say his claims are akin to “a drunk driver suing the Department of Transportation for crashing into a guardrail.” They add, “Clearly Mr. Wilcox has terrible judgement but you have to wonder about the decency of the legal team that would attempt to argue such an outrageous position, after so many people were injured.”

Kurt Bickley of Suter, Stine, Burn & Partners (SSB&P) says that it is Mayor Cravalho that should be concerned about the ramifications of bad judgement. He claims that anyone would have done what his client did in this case and that the county failed to exercise reasonable care of the Fourth of July fireworks. “Storing over $100,000 worth of explosive material in a $2000 wooden building, when a hurricane is about to hit is not just a bad idea, we believe it is a criminally negligent one.” Bickley says that in addition to his client and the 26 others physically injured by the blast, many more were severely traumatized. “We are exploring the possibility of a class action suit in this case. You have to remember that the incident took place on the heels of the worst hurricane to ever hit Maui. Many people thought that the explosion was a meltdown at the Thorcon plant or another terrorist attack. Frankly, Mayor Cravalho’s office doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to keeping the public safe and this is just one more example of their disregard for safety. We understand how tough it must be to have that kind of reputation in an area so dependent on tourist dollars. We’re confident that Cravalho will want to save himself and his administration any further embarrassment in this matter and settle with our client.”

STORYLINE

Manimal To Rebuild Lahaina Drainage System Damaged By Hurricane Neki

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Neki was a once-in-a-century hurricane, with record winds and tidal surges. The storm caused hundreds of millions of dollars in damages, and left thousands in its path without homes or utilities. The hurricane’s devastation has been unprecedented, but so has the vast outpouring of support to help rebuild Lahaina. While most of that has been in the form of food, water, and medical supplies, one company has promised to solve a major problem the county is facing after the storm. The Lahaina based Manimal corporation has offered to rebuild and improve the county’s combined sewer and storm drain system.

Many experts agree that the Lahaina drainage and sewer system was badly in need of an upgrade before Neki. The decades old system was outdated, and unable to keep up with the needs of a booming Lahaina. The hurricane only exacerbated existing issues, propelling them into the spotlight. The city says that by accepting the offer by Manimal, they will be able to return services much faster to the community, and avoid any secondary dangers that the broken system now presents. “While Manimal is rebuilding our wastewater system we can focus on clearing roads, providing shelter, and returning power to residents. It’s a matter of utilizing what resources we have in the best way possible,” says Mayor Albert Cravalho.

Manimal CEO Spencer Kane says that it’s an honor to help the town so instrumental in the story of the drink company.

“As the birthplace of Manimal, Lahaina will always hold a special place in our hearts. When we learned how much damage 100 mph winds can cause, we were blown away. It makes you really appreciate how dangerous ultimate windsurfing can be. I learned about the sewer issues when delivering some emergency Manimal for the relief effort. I couldn’t believe another potential disaster was just waiting in the wings, when it rains it pours! I knew we had do something, so I got together with our best people, and told the Mayor we’d help take care of it, in exchange for branding and marketing rights. He agreed, and our civil engineers have devised an extreme drainage system able to handle the most extreme weather, and I may be biased, but the manhole covers look great!”

A massive marketing campaign has already begun to drum up public support for the unusual agreement. Manimal is running a number of commercials about the project and branded manhole covers have already turned up in a few neighborhoods. While most are happy to have a working sewer as soon as possible, no matter who builds it, there are some who worry that the drink company might cause long-term damage to the system. One resident says, “I appreciate the offer but what does Manimal know about combined drainage systems? My cousin Randy basically lives on Manimal, and I wouldn’t put him in charge of stacking blocks, let alone building something we all count on. I can’t believe the mayor agreed to this! What’s next, the Hailoha Parks Department, or the Abramo Meat Police? Bringing in a B-list celebrity to go over a slide presentation won’t change my opinion on the project either.”

As part of the marketing campaign, Manimal has held a number of informational meetings, hosted by their spokesperson Tony “Half-Barrel” Kahale. Offering a chance to look at various manhole designs and mock-ups of the new system, the meetings have been a hit with residents who’ve been forced to live in shelters. “I’m just spreading a message of hope and hydration,” says Kahale. “As a 19 time World Manimal Drinking Champion, I know a lot about processing excessive amounts of fluids. Manimal and hurricanes can be almost as intense going out, as they are going in, and this new combined sewer design is up to the task. Our “Storm Off” inlets regulate the flow of runoff water to a level that even the old system could swallow, eliminating the chance of future flooding. Knowing how many people were injured because of a lack of emergency shelters, we’ve included a number of refuge rooms in our designs as well. Now, in an emergency, your safety is only a manhole cover away. Worried that you might get bored waiting out the emergency? Don’t be. Many rooms include things like short rails for grinding, quarter pipes to practice basic tricks, and plenty of free standing structures to practice your parkour. It’s our pleasure to provide the residents of Lahaina a sewer system as radical as their lives.”

STORYLINE

Duracave Donates Triage Tents To Help Treat Hurricane Victims

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The fallout from hurricane Neki, which made landfall early Saturday morning, will be felt for years in West Maui, but many who were injured in the storm are feeling the aloha spirit today thanks to Duracave. The company best known for high-end survival gear and portable power supplies has donated several mobile triage tents to the Lahaina Medical Center to help house and treat victims of the hurricane. Thousands of are homeless this morning and hundreds are injured from the wrath of Neki.

Nearly 400 area residents are injured filling local medical facilities well beyond capacity. That number is expected to grow substantially as rescue teams comb through the rubble. While many companies like Veilcorp and Manimal are providing shelter and energy drinks to survivors, Duracave’s donation solves a logistical nightmare for medical personnel working in Lahaina.

“When we saw all the victims left in Neki’s wake we knew we had to do something,” says Duracave CEO Barret Stone. “Duracave is about providing the tools necessary to survive and thrive in the worst conditions nature and political cabals can throw at you. Neki was bad but we’re better.”

“Not all tents are created equal. Our Liberator Modular Tenting System is the most advanced and most secure shelter devised by mankind. Resilient to extreme heat and cold, able to withstand hurricane force winds, and monsoon rains our ultra-tarp material can even keep out many first generation nerve agents. Paired with one of our innovative generators and featuring a negative pressure environment, the Liberator makes the perfect triage environment for you and a buddy, or a whole platoon. It keeps the smell of war and contagions in and any worries out. I use a mid-sized Liberator system as a mobile abattoir on my ranch. Believe me, if it can keep the smell of a 12 ton gut pile from getting out it can contain any disease.”

“The tents were a godsend,” says Director Dalia Forsythe. The Lahaina Medical Center has been hit especially hard. With supplies and personnel already stretched thin the facility simply didn’t have space for all the sick and injured. “We were treating people in supply closets,” she adds.

“Without these tents we would have lost lives. It’s that simple. This morning there was an explosion that injured dozens of rescue workers and may have exposed them to 127 and other toxic materials. Luckily, we now have the room to keep them quarantined until we know what they were exposed to. I’m not the kind of person who would usually talk highly of Duracave and their well-shared political views but they really came through as a company. There is no doubt that they helped us save lives. The hurricane has caused a lot of struggles but I’m amazed at how quickly everyone has come together to help. It makes me proud of my Hawaiian neighbors.”

Not everyone is singing the praises of Duracave however. Despite Forsythe’s admiration for the company, one Lahaina resident calls the tents an eyesore. Elizabeth Stonegate, President of the Tanager Lane Homeowners Association, worries that the tents will discourage new people from moving to the area. “We’re really missing a great opportunity to rebuild a more sophisticated Lahaina,” she says.

“I realize that Neki hurt a lot of people and my heart goes out to them but the truth of the matter is that Mother Nature has offered us a great opportunity. Many of the homes that were destroyed were older traditional dwellings. The kind of places they call “quaint” in real estate listings. We all know what quaint means, and how quaint doesn’t raise property values. Lahaina has changed a lot in the past decade. It’s growing into a beautiful modern city and Neki has helped clean up some of our problematic areas. Since many of those people won’t be able to afford to rebuild even with insurance money we should be courting a more financially secure class of people.

There is nothing about 4 giant sized medical tents that says, “come spend millions of dollars building a new home here.” It looks like something out of a horror movie. The whole reason a hospital has walls is so that you don’t have to be reminded of the sick. I feel terrible that people who chose not to take proper shelter were hurt by their actions but why should their bad choices impact my property values? While everyone is digging through rubble and putting up sci-fi plague tents, I’ve made sure all tree limbs and debris has been picked up in Tanager Lane. We have an unprecedented chance to reshape a more sophisticated Lahaina, let’s do all we can to make it happen and get rid of the tents before it’s too late.”

STORYLINE

Lahaina residents bond over SSHAM and sandbags

Mother nature is not going easy on Maui residents this year. Barely a month into the hurricane season the island has already faced the fury of 3 storms, but none of them have reached the intensity of Neki. The storm has already produced winds of up to 115 mph and meteorologists say that it could get even bigger before it hits.

Mayor of the County of Maui Albert Cravalho has cancelled tonight’s firework display and has issued a statement urging the public to prepare for the worst. All across the island people are bracing themselves and their houses for what might be the most powerful storm to ever hit the island. The National Weather Service now says that Neki might surpass Iniki, the category 4 hurricane that hit Hawaii in 1992.

While the general mood on the island is serious, and many are concerned, the looming storm has also highlighted an extraordinary sense of love and community. Mr. Cravalho says he couldn’t be more proud. This Hawaiian spirit and sentiment is especially true for the Lahaina area.

The Veilcorp facility there has ceased all travel activity and opened the doors to the public to use as an emergency shelter. Dan Kukulu, head of operations says,

“Our doors are open to anyone who is worried about the storm. We have nice strong walls and reinforced windows. Teams are going over every square inch of the facility right now to ensure everyone’s safety. We’re stocked up with enough water and Manimal for a week. We even have some entertainment to take your mind off the wind outside thanks to the Pu’u high school jazz ensemble. Everyone is welcome to come in, have a seat, and tap your feet until this whole thing blows over.”

All along Front Street businesses are boarding up windows and trying to protect themselves from flooding. Hula Noodle, a popular area shop has even offered SSHAM Musubi to everyone who helps fill sandbags. Owner Ralph Umeke says he’s proud, but not surprised at the willingness of his neighbors to lend a hand. “That’s what makes this place special. We’re like a big family. Sure, maybe a few people get on your nerves from time to time but in the end we all pitch in when we need to. Besides, I’m giving out bowls of SSHAM pho to anyone who fills 10 sandbags and that stuff is onolicious.”

North of Front Street others are offering some high-tech alternatives to sandbags. The local maker commune has been busily printing modular surge barriers all day and offering them up to anyone in need. Ano Lee says,

“The machines are hot and we’re almost out of materials but we’ll keep printing until we can’t anymore. This is my home and I want to do everything I can to help. We’re using a pretty cool pattern that I worked on a few years ago. The panels are easy to put together and they’re sturdy. We’ve installed purple LEDs along the top, and blue along the sides so they should look super cool at night, especially highlighted with a little lightning. In addition, every other panel has a small speaker and some pre-loaded music. I have to admit, our hurricane playlist might be the best we’ve ever made.”

People have been queuing up for the barriers all day including Scott Stonegate. The local man says that he isn’t usually the kind to hang out at the commune but appreciates what Lee is doing. Stonegate says he’s using the experience as a life lesson for his kids. “Their mom is the president of our HOA so she’s busy right now making sure that all the plywood is properly fitted over windows, and that there isn’t any unnecessary markings on them. I think it’s important for our kids to see that even in an emergency, standards are important.”

Scott says that if it wasn’t for Lee, his neighborhood of Tanager Lane might not have any workable solution should the storm surge reach far inland.

“I’ve already cleared away anything from around the garage that might be of concern. However, if it wasn’t for these panels my classic Mustang Shelby GT350 might be in danger of getting flooded out. Ivy is the most beautiful custom green and I don’t know what I’d do if her electronics got ruined. I’m over here working with people that I normally avoid in the lightning and raging winds with my kids to teach them an important lesson. You need to do anything you can to ensure the safety of the things you hold most dear.”

The latest National Weather Service forecasts predict Neki to make landfall sometime early tomorrow morning. Until then, the residents of Lahaina will continue to share SSHAM, sandbags, and a sense of community.

STORYLINE

Unprecedented start to hurricane season has many worried

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2047 is turning out to be the worst hurricane season in recorded history, and that has many Maui residents concerned and looking for answers. Less than two months into the season and the island has already weathered 2 tropical storms and a full fledged hurricane. The extraordinary string of bad weather has many worried that Veilcorp activity is to blame, while other islanders have slightly more spiritual concerns about the storms.

Tropical storm Iopa hit the islands hard on May 7th this year, a full month before hurricane season officially begins, but that was just the beginning. Hurricane Kika followed soon after with tropical storm Lana cresting land a few weeks ago. While the storms caused relatively little damage to populated areas, the frequency of activity this year has many worried. Now, with tropical depression Maka looming and Neki following and gaining strength quickly, residents are looking for answers and some relief.

The last time a category 4 hurricane hit Hawaii was back in 1992. On September 11 hurricane Iniki passed directly over the island of Kauai. By the time it had passed, the storm had killed 6, destroyed 1,400 homes and caused more than $1 billion in damage. None of the storms this year have matched that intensity so far, but meteorologists say that Neki is following a similar path and is growing rapidly.

Many believe that an infamous Veilcorp program is to blame for the increase is storms. Since it started solar production of 127 (unbiseptium) in 2046, the Icarus project has been a lightning rod for Veilcorp opponents. Many claim that the change in weather patterns can be directly tied to the notorious project.

Critics say that worldwide exposure to 127 has increased drastically since the project began and that it is too soon for any study to make a definitive finding one way or the other about its safety. They point to a marked increase in major storms and changing weather patterns worldwide since Icarus began as proof that the issue needs more attention. Locally, many are concerned that the increase in 127 is having an impact on native flora and fauna. Calls for an investigation by the Department of Land and Natural Resources have gone unanswered so far, but activists remain vocal.

The corporation says that concerns are unfounded and that there is no proof that the project has any effect on the weather, sea, or animals. They point out that Veil technology has relied on 127 since its inception over 20-years-ago, and that there is no evidence of any long-lasting negative effects.

Still others on the island worry that Veilcorp activity has caused a cosmic crisis and that the unusual weather patterns are a symptom of a spiritual sickness. One such believer is Sebastian Malu. A Barraloha instructor at the Kokua Wellness Center in Lahaina and the founder of the Eternal Cycle Church, Malu says that Veilcorp should have consulted an astrologer before beginning the Icarus project.

He says,

“It’s insane to me that nobody at Veilcorp realized that harvesting energy from the center of our solar system in a year in which Mercury was occulated by the sun and Saturn was experiencing its summer solstice was a bad idea. Add to that the fact that there were 2 partial lunar eclipses in 2046, followed by 2 total eclipses this year and it’s a recipe for disaster. Just look at how bad the storms have been so far and we’re just getting started. The hurricane season lasts another 4 months. I know it’s popular to dismiss the wisdom of the ancients but they were given a blueprint for life and had a rich understanding of the great cycles that we have all but lost. The Melchizedek pattern and the Great Wesak cycle came together in April and May last year. It should have been a time of discernment and higher vibrations, instead Veilcorp ramped up their parasitic activity and muddied the cosmic water for all of us. I’ve been warning all my students and parishioners that our mother and the universe will have to make adjustments in order to return to balance. I believe the storms we’ve seen so far are part of that process. It’s not a coincidence that Neki is on its way just in time for the lunar eclipse on July 7th. It’s going to take a powerful storm to wash away the stain Veilcorp has left, and I’m afraid that’s exactly what’s coming.”

Whether it’s just an unusual natural cycle, a product of Veilcorp experiments, or a cosmic cry for help, the storm season this year is already one for the record books. Many residents are already preparing for the worst and hoping for the best. Officials are tracking the storms closely and say they could reach land in a matter of days.