At the request of program specialist Gary, and against my better judgment, I have been hard at work assessing the feasibility of a menehune domestication program for the Lahaina Merchants […]
The Menehune Domestication Program is a Misguided Failure
Tag: Menehune
John Driscol: Restored from Backup
Saraphim? No, I don’t want you to burn anything in the room, or rub anything on me. I just want the usual treatment. Saraphim….restoration? No! I come here to catch […]
The Story of Miki the Helpful Menehune
The Kanaka don’t teach their kids in the same way we do here in Pu’u. They use stories. Since they didn’t plan as well as people like my grandpa and […]
The Legend of Mark, the Last Hailoha Driver
A long time ago when everything still worked and my grandpa was young, there were roads paved with something called asphalt everywhere and most people had cars. If you wanted […]
Chief Ikaika’s Speech before the battle of Black Rock Beach
For a thousand years our people lived in harmony with the island and the spirits. We drank from her waters, ate the fish in the sea, and grew plants in […]
Request: Could You Please Reset the Automated Lab Assistant?
Dear Main Office, One of the reasons I wanted to do my internship in Lahaina was because I read about your amazing lab assistant CERA. Vereserum was, and still is, […]
The Dance of the Menehune
Dear Main Office, It has been quite a while since my last communication warning of my co-workers lack of focus, and failure to follow proper lab protocols. Since I didn’t […]
My Work Environment Has Become Untenable
Dear Main Office, I was touring the Vereserum facility in Lahaina when the catastrophe hit. Fresh out of college and looking for an internship, Vereserum was my first choice. I […]
Merchant’s Association Cancels Valentine’s Day Promotion Over “Inaccurate” Menehune Dolls
After a day of protest and mountains of negative feedback, The Lahaina Merchant’s Association (LMA) has decided to end its controversial “Menehunny” Valentine’s Day giveaway. The LMA had been handing […]
