Da Kine Air Services Will be In Your Area, Bid For an Appointment Now!

Over 60 years ago my grandfather Buddy began Da Kine Air to serve all of your ventilation and air conditioning needs. Through hard work and professional service Buddy turned Da Kine into the premiere HVAC service on the island. When the veils broke we all lost a lot: homes, family and friends, and hope. Buddy fought hard to save as much, and as many survivors as he could. He had some hard times but with the help of a bunch of the old-timers, he pulled through. We didn’t lose Buddy, the business, or Lahaina.

He passed on all his years of knowledge and gratitude to my father George, who many of you know. For the past couple decades George has been working tirelessly to live up to Buddy’s legacy. He has repaired hundreds of cooling units as we make our way around the island. It’s impossible to know how many of you are breathing contaminant free air thanks to his diligent work. That work has been our family’s way of thanking you and doing our part to keep hope alive. It has been an honor and our pleasure to serve you, but time keeps marching on, and nothing lasts forever.

This will be George’s last year working for Da Kine. He will be passing the reins over to me. I believe that I can continue to offer the kind of quality and professional work that you’ve all come to expect, but I will be implementing some important new changes.

Buddy said he could never pay the community back for all their support in his lifetime. My father selflessly carried on that work for the better part of his life as well. Now, I believe Buddy’s debt has been paid in full. I have watched my father circle this island throughout the years providing cool, clean air to anyone who needed it for virtually nothing. That is about to change.

I will continue to keep the same schedule around the island, which would place Da Kine in the Lahaina area in January, but our prices have changed. Unlike my father, I am not interested in cementing a legacy with a disheveled family in tow. I am interested in securing a better future for myself and my crew.

Beginning immediately all of our services will go through a bidding process. Da Kine will offer 3 services a week for 3 months in one area before we move on. These services will be available through an auction process, and will go to the highest bidder. In addition to rai and provisions, we will now also accept other trade goods as payment. Medicines, ammunition, art pieces, jewelry, and other creature comforts will all be considered as good tender.

If you don’t have a lot to offer in the way of items, but have other talents that Da Kine might find useful let us know. We could always use more security, cooks, people with medical training or other more interesting talents. If you’ve always dreamed of giving your mother the cool home she deserves, or your kids clean safe air, a year of service might just make your dreams come true.

In addition to the new bidding process, we have a job rider that lays out how you will house, protect, and feed my crew should you be lucky enough to hire us. I have a number of requirements as well. A complete list will be available for your perusal before bidding but some of the highlights include:

  • We require a Reality Machine II or newer nearby to synthesize parts.
  • I require a room on the top floor of any structure that Da Kine is working on. If at all possible that room will face the ocean.
  • I require all furniture be removed from the rooms and replaced with my own pieces.
  • There shall be no less that 8 clean mugs available to me at all times as well as an assortment of not less than 4 different teas.
  • I require at least one fresh fish or meat dish a day. A selection of fresh fruits (no mangos) and local honey shall be available should I choose to eat breakfast.
  • A warm, not hot, bath shall be offered not more than one hour after work each day. I require a selection of cotton cloths or natural sponges, no brushes. In addition, I will need a clean towel to stand on in a well ventilated area as I prefer to air dry.
  • A story, song, or selected reading will be offered nightly should I have trouble falling asleep…..

I know some of you will find our new policy changes troubling and accuse me of taking advantage of our unique situation. Let me assure you that we will continue to offer the expertise and honest work that you have come to expect from Da Kine. We will not cut corners, and we will not do anything other than our very best to make you happy. I am simply trying to let our prices and lifestyle properly reflect the demand for our work. Some would say you can’t put a price tag on the comfort and safety of your family, but we’re going to try.

Hank Alunu
Da Kine Air Services

The History of the Kapu Kuialua Dojo

There are a handful of buildings that survived the devastation of the great fracture. Many like the comm tower, serve as landmarks and offer a reminder of the past. Others however serve an important role in the lives of those on the island. The Kapu Kuialua Dojo is one such structure. While The Mission serves as a center for healing, knowledge, and contemplation, the Dojo serves as a place of strength and protection, a place where anyone who has the will and dedication can learn the ancient Hawaiian art of Kapu Kuialua.

Like many martial arts, Kapu Kuialua focuses on joint locks, throws, strikes, and pressure point manipulation. What sets Lua apart, is its inclusion of battlefield strategy, firearms, and ocean warfare tactics. The deadly system was once restricted to Hawaiian nobility and follows the philosophy of “two hits.” A warrior proficient in the style should take no more than two hits to dispatch an enemy. Countless Kanaka have learned to protect themselves and others over the years in the Dojo, but its story is in large part the story of its founder, the legendary Kanaka hero Augustin.

Before the Fracture, Augustin never would have believed that he would become a famous leader and hero. He kept the ancient Hawaiian martial art of Kapu Kuialua alive, teaching a handful of students in his dojo on the beach. While chaos and despair flowed over the island like lava destroying hope and spirit, Augustin remained calm and allowed those that needed shelter inside the dojo. He fed, housed, and protected many during those first weeks, giving the people security and optimism about their future.

The Kanaka discovered that post-fracture Lahaina was a deadly place. Augustin realized that without the tools necessary to protect themselves, the people were doomed. He appointed his old students his 9 Kuma, or teachers. With his oversight: his daughter Anakalia, Wawae the breaker, Blue Huki, The Great Ho’ouka, Miki’ao, Nua Newa, Manawa The Wise, Weapon Master Naia, and Doug would teach their respective specialties to the people, and they would grow strong together.

In those early days, bandits migrated around the island like sea birds, stealing any scraps left unattended and preying on the weak. While Augustin had taught the people to protect themselves from the beasts of the forest and the scavenging menehune, they were unwilling to defy the armed bandits. Every season the people would provide a tribute of fish, produce, and supplies to the marauders to ensure their safety. This system worked well for years until a spring drought and a shift in currents hit the people hard. The taro harvest was a complete loss, and the fishermen’s nets were often empty. The Kanaka didn’t have enough for themselves, let alone the bandit’s tribute.

The elders explained the problems to the bandits when they arrived and promised to give double in the summer to make up for their shortcomings. Their leader listened to the Kanaka pleas and demanded that the summer tribute be tripled. He promised that they would kill everyone if the people were even one yam or urchin short. Before leaving, they killed a fisherman and his family to prove the truth in their threats.

The Kanaka were terrified. Even if the weather changed again and the fish came back, they doubted they could gather so much in a few months. When Augustin heard what had happened to the fisherman, he was enraged. He told the elders that he and his Kumu would handle the bandits when they came back if they promised to never deal with such people, and give in to fear again. The elders agreed and the masters of Kapu Kuialua prepared for the bandit’s return.

When they came back in the summer, Augustin and his Kumu met them, glistening in coconut oil like the ancient Koa warriors, with an empty bag. The master explained that the gardens were still barren and that the fish had not returned to the reef. He told them how these things were out of the Kanaka’s control, and that many were starving in the village. He said, “I understand that supplies are scarce for everyone, that is why I only require this bag filled with provisions and your promise to never return, in exchange for your lives.” The bandits laughed at Augustin’s bold words but they never had a chance to answer his demands.

His first strike broke the leader’s shoulder. His smile twisted and became permanent, as Augustin’s newa club caved in the center of his skull. The Kumu moved without hesitation or mercy. A firearm can save your life in many situations, but on that morning, holding a gun sealed your doom. The Kumu swiftly broke or killed anyone armed with a weapon first. Shots rang out at strange angles as joints ripped apart and bones cracked. Like some sort of horrible mangling machine, the Kumu worked through the bandits until the ground was sticky with blood and their screams became louder than the waves crashing on the beach.

When it was all over the Kapu Kuialua masters had killed over 30. As Augustin filled his bag with supplies, the Kumu gathered the remaining bandits and grouped them in pairs. They broke the arms of the first, and the legs of the second, so they could still drive their vehicles away, and warn others of their kind that the Kanaka would no longer pay ransoms, or live in fear.

The message spread quickly around the island. Many who had heard the story of the masters’ prowess came to learn, including a young man who would grow to become one of our greatest leaders, Chief Ikaika. Even though Augustin is gone, the Dojo between the beach and the “Blood Road” still teaches those brave and dedicated enough the ways of Kapu Kuialua, and how to dispatch your enemies in two hits.

Bruddah Lee
Kanaka Historian

The Office of Travel brochures and manuals

The fracture destroyed large swathes of land and a majority of the population, but it wasn’t just lives that were lost. Many of the systems and constructs of society were wiped out as well. The first few years after the accident was an extremely hard time for anyone trying to live, let alone rebuild anything from the old world. There can be no argument that one of the most important organizations to emerge in those early years was the Office of Travel Brochures and Manuals (OTBM). Founded by Ron Kapili sometime in 2052, the office served as an invaluable resource to those trying to repair the damage that had been done and remains an important asset for islanders seeking knowledge today.

Ron spent most of his life tinkering and collecting instructional manuals. Most of his toys had been taken apart and put back together at least once. He built his first bike himself from parts he had printed at Ano Lee’s maker commune in Lahaina. Unlike most mothers in her situation, Ron’s mom encouraged the young boy, and would provide him with countless how-to magazines and owner manuals to the home appliances he seemed fascinated with. Partially working vacuum cleaners, tripped circuits, and the distinct smell of electrical fires was common around the Kapili home.

While he was a wizard with tools and anything electronic, the structure of school was too restrictive for Ron. Failing almost all of his classes, it was no surprise to anyone when he dropped out, and began working at his mother’s thrift shop. If it weren’t for the great accident he might have spent his entire life fixing TVs, and the hand-held games that were sold in the store. Sometimes extraordinary talents are exposed through extraordinary circumstances, and such was the case with Ron.

While many around him sat stunned or scrounged for food in those first few days, Ron got to work. Within days he had fixed the store’s solar panel with his trusty folder of user manuals. By the end of the week, he had a generator working again too. At the end of the month, survivors in the teenager’s neighborhood all had light to sustain them through the uncertainty of the long nights. The boy collected a number of new owner manuals too and began work on the repairable items they belonged to. When he found a travel brochure about tours offered at a nearby aquifer facility his story took another big turn.

Water was at a premium, and up until this point most people had been relying on streams, and the few working wells scattered around the island. While looking at the brochure, Ron recognized the make and model of the water pumps used at the facility from some manuals he had collected. After packing his tool bag, arranging the proper manuals in his binder, and recruiting some help, he set off to the water plant to see what could be done.

To the delight of many, the group scavenged what parts they needed and had 2 pumps working by the end of the day. Word of clean water and the boy with the manuals spread quickly. Survivors from all over were soon seeking out Ron with hopes that he could fix their items, and brochures offering suggestions of places to go next. It became quickly apparent that there was too much work for the young man and his crew. It was then that someone suggested that they set up a place where others could get the information needed to make various repairs, and go about rebuilding places of interest. The Office of Travel Brochures and Manuals was established soon after.

Today the office is a valuable resource to anyone wanting to explore a new area, repair items, or build something from scratch. Physical copies of how-to books, user manuals, or brochures are still available for purchase, but most customers choose to have them uploaded to their Ceremplants. The office will still purchase any pamphlets, flyers, and user guides that are brought in, but prices vary greatly based upon the item’s rareness. For a nominal fee, visitors can get a history lesson by viewing Ron’s original collection in the “Drawers of Knowledge” exhibit that some have called “the most important stack of dog-eared documents to ever be crammed into a file cabinet.”

If you are trying to repair an item, learn a recipe, discover a new area, or just unload a stack of booklets, the Office of Travel Brochures and Manuals should be your first stop.

Bruddah Lee

Kanaka Historian

The Lahaina Merchants Association’s Roadmap for the future

For over almost 20 years I’ve proudly led this group. When I started, many of us were selling scrounged tools and cans of food in dark alleys. Under my leadership I’m proud to say that the consumers of Lahaina may now purchase a wide variety of newly smithed metal items, lifesaving medicines, and fresh foods. Your entrepreneurial spirit and hard work have been an inspiration to me and to our customers but times are changing. The markets are in fluctuation and we need to pivot or run the risk of losing the footholds we’ve fought so hard to carve out.

As many of you know, last month someone was able to restart the global backup connection, and people started pouring in. I understand why some of them have turned to hawking their items. They’re confused, scared, and in a world that is vastly different than the one they remember. I sympathize with them, but I do not condone their activity. We can’t afford to look weak.

If these new visitors are going to conduct business in our territory they should be informed of the rules. I can forgive one transgression especially if they haven’t been enlightened, that’s what penalty charges are for. However, if they continue to disregard the rules we must be ruthless. This only works if we all work together. They need to know how important it is to pay association fees in a timely manner, (a lesson some of you are still struggling to learn I might add).

This is a good start but let’s be honest, it won’t solve our problem. Too many of them are showing up to effectively monitor. The writing’s on the wall and we need to step up our game. We need to come together like never before and show the people of Lahaina that they can consistently get quality products at a reasonable price from any of our businesses. I have a plan in place, but again, it only works if if we all work together.

First and foremost we need to renew our focus on quality. In the past weeks, I’ve heard a number of complaints about the selling of tainted clams, especially along the beach. I’ve talked to a few of you individually about the issue but it has to stop. Worse yet, it’s come to my attention that a number of spears have made it out of shops without fire hardening. We need our customers to feel like they can count on a LMA spear in combat. Their trust in us breaks a little every time one of those spears does. We can’t afford to carry members who cut corners.

We also need to start specializing. With the increased flow of consumers coming from the station stores nearby are busier than ever, but they are also having trouble keeping inventory. I think becoming more specialized fixes both of those problems. If the vendors near the station specialize in food, they can send customers down the road for weapons. The weapons shop can send them to Front street for medicine…..on and on it goes. This will ensure that we all benefit from the new traffic and each business can maintain a proper inventory.

Before you start complaining, I’m not suggesting that you can’t sell ammunition or a dagger if you own a place near the station. I’m just saying it would be in your best interest to make a plan with the other merchants in your area to spread your resources. Let’s make sure everyone gets a piece of the action. As you know, I’ve been working very hard on getting the armory up and running and plan on using it as the go-to stop in Lahaina for all your combat and protection needs. If you haven’t contacted me personally yet about selling weapons in the armory, please do so soon, and I will pass on consignment agreements.

I know there has been a lot of concern about the loss of market share due to the increase of working Reality Machines around the island, but I don’t think we have anything to fear. First, there are only a couple up and running and it’s not like they’re making new parts anymore. Secondly, the products coming from these glorified vending machines lack the quality and character that our handmade items do. Quality will always be king as long as I’m in charge of the LMA. It would be foolish to completely brush-off the danger of these automated hucksters however, so any member caught providing plans to one will be treated as if they were caught stealing from the association. I don’t need to remind you of what the penalty for that offense is.

Finally, we need not only need to get the word out, but we need everyone from the Thrivers to the Kānaka to think of us as family. We need to become integral to the Lahaina way of life. I’ve heard suggestions ranging from a gun raffle, to complimentary canteen fill-ups on purchases over 100 rai, to a preferred customer program. All of these ideas are alright, but I think they miss the mark. We need to get back to what got us here, breadfruit and bodies. We never saw a year like we did when we swept the Menehune from around the train station back in 08. Our Breakfast-N-Bullets event was the largest single day promotion we ever pulled off.

Rounding up some bandits, or better yet a few Night Marchers, and stringing them up in front of some shops and high traffic areas will yield hug benefits to our bottom line. If we add a few strategic luau’s, I don’t see how we can lose. It’s time for us to focus on each other and what matters most, the rai.

How the King Tides and the Night Marchers Are Connected

There is no doubt that the fracture changed life as we know it. The collapse of governments, the destruction of buildings in the explosions, and the sickness and famine it spread across the land are easy enough to see, but its touch befouled much more than that. In their quest to rewrite the very rules of nature, people upset the balance of the world and offended the land, air, and sea. Freak storms, rumblings in the ground, and king tides that sweep miles inland are now common, but they are not the most feared consequence of our folly. There are other aspects of the world that are not so easily seen. They have their own guardians and protectors who are not so easily dealt with. People have offended the defenders of order and balance with their meddling. They have offended the Night Marchers and they will not rest until order has been restored.

We Kanaka believe that the world is more than just the ground, ocean, and all that you can see. The world is made of many other dimensions: love, thought, light, wind, rain, time, geometric shapes and patterns, all are important parts of the whole. The great fracture disturbed and damaged these parts as well. It is these imbalances in the natural patterns and systems that the Night Marchers now seek to right. Their role as protectors of great chiefs has changed to protectors of nature and order.

Tales of the Night Marchers are as old as the islands and the people themselves. The first documented story of the Night Marchers dates back to the time of Captain Cook’s arrival to the islands. Those explorers brought back tales of the beating of distant drums, horn blowing, ghostly chanting, and strange lights seen at night. The Night Marchers were said to be the spirits of ancient Hawaiian warriors. They would begin their journeys at sunset and would only stop just before sunrise. Their job was not to terrify or punish people. Their purpose was simply to protect high-ranking chiefs from harm and the ensure that the most sacred places stayed honored and remembered. Since the fracture, their roles have changed to protecting the balance of the world and punishing those who would try to travel through the veil.

The Night Marchers have always been tied to natural events. It was said that they would appear with much greater frequency during the final moon phase of the month, heavy rains, or high surf, and so it is today. In this new world the king tides are greatly feared. During the spring, the sea will often sweep miles inland seeking to clean the taint from the land. It is during this time that the Night Marchers are particularly active. Filled with the power of the waters, the Night Marchers reach where the waves are unable, seeking to restore harmony and eradicate those who would upset the Earth.

There are a number of stories about how to protect yourself from the Night Marchers. Our ancestors believed that ti plants would offer some limited protection or that having a deceased relative among the marchers would save you. However, looking one of the warriors in the face meant certain death no matter what precautions you took.

There is a story about a young Kanaka boy who went hunting with his father during the king tides, despite warnings from the village elders. Planning on being back well before dark, the father was unconcerned about their counsel and headed out to kill some deer. The hunting was excellent. It was so good that he and the boy lost track of time and soon found themselves far from home with only a few hours of light left. As they were heading back, disaster struck. A pack of wolves had picked up the scent of the fresh kills and was heading their way from the direction of the village. The man and his son tried to take an angle towards the beach in order to avoid the hungry wolves and still get back before dark.

It quickly became apparent to the pair that the wolves would catch them before they made it. The howls were close and the sun was slowly dipping into the ocean when the broke through the tree line. Their feet pounded into the sand as they ran towards the village. A few hundred yards behind, the first of the wolves appeared and howled his excitement at seeing the running Kanaka. Soon, almost a dozen of the beasts were giving chase. Just when he was about to give up hope, the father saw a group ahead, walking in a line at the bottom of a gully. He yelled over his shoulder for his son to hurry. As they started running down the steep sides of the ravine the father stopped in his tracks and his son ran into him.

The boy could not see beyond his father but he could see the terror in his eyes. “Remember everything I’ve taught you, lay on your belly, and no matter what you hear do not look up,” his father told him. Confused and scared the boy did as he was told. Behind him he could hear the wolves’ paws and their slathering jaws, but another sound soon drowned them out. He heard unearthly screams, the rending of flesh, and the breaking of bones. Almost as soon as it began the sounds stopped. He could still hear walking around him and could not resist opening one eye. He saw blood covered feet and the strangely colored skin of a Night Marcher and let out a gasp. One of the feet stopped by his head and he closed his eyes tightly again. Eventually, the boy stood up and looked around. What was left of the wolves lay scattered around him but there was no sign of the Night Marchers or his father. He told me near his own death that he saw his father again in the same copse of koa trees, with a coterie of Marchers, defending him and the Kanaka from harm. He never knew if his father was taken or simply joined to save him and the village. But since that time, we’ve not had a single death from the viscous boar that root through the forest and the nene cry every morning, waking the Thrivers early and warning them to take heed and change their ways.

Lying still and not looking a Night Marcher in the face in not a foolproof plan however. Agitated by the fractures effect on all 9 dimensions, the Kanaka believe they now consider all people a danger to the world itself. They no longer seek to guard the great chiefs and protect only the sacred places. Their role now is to secure the future of the planet from those that would, filled with hubris, make tenuous the veil between realities. Until the scales have been balanced once again, the Night Marchers will keep marching.

Lilinoe and Clever Kopono

The Kānaka’s relationship with technology is a complex one. While they accept the need for science and machinery, most consider the fracture to be a direct result of an unhealthy obsession with them. Add to this the fact that the accident caused severe deformities in many Kānaka which makes working on fine components difficult, and it is no wonder why their heroes don’t interact with technology. Clever Kopono is the rare exception. There are many stories about the resourceful young man and his backpack, but the most well known is about his adoptive mother, Lilinoe.

Lilinoe was a widow and sickness had claimed her children. She was the poorest woman in the poorest village on the island. Her back ached when she walked and she had lost most of her teeth years ago, but she was always caring to others. She would gladly share what she had, which was almost nothing, with anyone in need.

One day while she was searching for a crab to add to her onion water she heard a noise from behind a rock. Slowly Lilinoe hobbled over to investigate and saw that it was a crying boy. The wretch was soaking wet and shivering. A dirty backpack was stretched over an enormous hump on his back. It looked as if the poor boy hadn’t eaten in a week. Lilinoe took off her tattered cloak and wrapped the boy up. She walked him over to the soft sand and asked if he was alright.

The boy said his name was Kopono and that he was an orphan. He told Lilinoe that he had been wandering for weeks and just wanted a place to stay for the night to dry off. The old woman agreed right away. It wasn’t much, but he was welcome to stay in her children’s old room and share as much of her onion water as he could stomach.

One night stretched into two, then three. Lilinoe began to care deeply for the odd little boy who never seemed to let the backpack out of his sight. She asked him if he would like to stay with her permanently and make the village his home. “You won’t have to carry around that backpack anymore, you can leave it in your room,” she said. The boy began to cry and gave Lilinoe a hug. He said he would be proud to call her mom and leave his bag in his room if she promised to never ask what was in it and always knock before she came in. It seemed a strange request but this was a strange little boy, so she agreed.

Kopono began to settle into life in the village. He wasn’t very strong or especially quick. His back kept him from being a good hunter, but he was very smart. He knew a better way to make fish traps and a way to grow plants in balls of moss without soil. Soon Lilinoe had something to add to her soup besides onions, and everyone in the village began calling the boy clever Kopono.

After living with the boy for almost a year, Lilinoe began to hear strange noises coming from Kopono’s room. She would knock and ask if the boy was alright to which he would always reply that he was. He would tell her that he was working on projects with his helpers. She thought he was a little too old for imaginary friends but he didn’t think like anyone she had ever met, so she didn’t let it concern her. Then one morning she heard a different noise. One that excited her.

She could hardly believe her ears at first. She held her breath to hear it more clearly. When Kopono’s door opened the boy was holding her old music box and it was working again. She had no idea where her husband had scavenged it, but he had given it to her on her wedding day. She took the box and stared at it in disbelief. “How did you fix this,” she asked through the tears rolling down her face. “My helpers showed me how to make it work,” he answered. Two hours later a line had formed outside of the house with villagers hoping to have their broken items fixed.

Clever Kopono fixed fans, handheld games, and a pile of other electronics over the next few weeks and word of his abilities began to spread. Usually the Kānaka need to go to the Thrivers to get things fixed and that can be dangerous and expensive. Having one of their people who could repair things was a blessing. Before the month was up everything was working in the village again, including the generator. The village began to grow thanks to clever Kopono.

Word spread far and wide about the clever little boy until one day Chief Ikaika himself appeared in the village. He had heard about the strange little boy and wanted to see for himself if the stories were true. The chief was in the middle of his campaign to clear this part of the island of all the dangers to the Kānaka. One of the drones he was using to keep track of his enemies movements had broken, and he didn’t want to pay the people on the hill to fix it. He asked Kopono if the boy could rebuild it. “I’m sure I can, give me 2 days,” Kopono answered.

The chief agreed and promised to have some more land cleared for farming, and 3 new fishing canoes for the village if his drone got fixed. In addition, he would take Lilinoe as one of his private cooks. She would never want for anything again in her life. With a look of determination, Kopono took the drone into his room and shut the door. The chief left and the village waited.

After not coming out at all the first day people began to worry. Lilinoe knocked and asked if she could help. “No, don’t come in here. My helpers and I will have it fixed in time. Don’t worry,” clever Kopono answered. The tension around the village was almost unbearable by that evening. “Why did we agree to let an orphan boy hold our fate. Everyone knows he’s sick in the head,” shouted a man. “You need to make him let you in there so we know if we should leave before the chief comes back. He’s sure to be angry and punish us if his machine doesn’t work,” added a neighbor. Lilinoe didn’t know what to do. She loved and trusted Kopono but the villagers did have a point.

With only a few hours left until dawn the pressure was too much for her. Lilinoe quietly opened the door and went inside. She saw the little boy sitting with his back to her illuminated by an electric lamp. His backpack was open on the floor next to him and he was surrounded by screws, pins, and a variety of machine parts. The drone was almost completely rebuilt in front of him, and covered in rats poking out here and there. She let out a gasp and one of the rats stood on its hind legs looking at her. Clever Kopono spun around and stared at Lilinoe in shock. The rats all ran into his backpack.
He began to cry and started to attach the last piece of the drone. “You promised that you would always knock before you came in,” he said. Lilinoe asked him what the rats were doing and if he was alright. “I told you, they’re my helpers and no. I’m not alright,” he answered. He turned the last screw and stood up, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. “The drone is done. I want you to know that I will always carry you in my heart, but you broke your promise so I must go.” Before the sun rose, clever Kopono was gone.

The drone worked like it was new and Ikaika kept his promise. The village prospered and Lilinoe was never hungry again. When people asked where clever Kopono had gone she told them that the Thrivers had let him attend one of their schools which seemed like a fitting lie to her. She never told anyone what she saw that night, but would often sit on the rocks where she had found him that day. She would listen to the music box and the waves. The rest of her life Lilinoe wondered what happened to her clever Kopono and wished that she had trusted him.

The History of the Regulators Part III

I’ve been highlighting the Regulators and it’s most important members this week. There have been a number of groups that shaped Lahaina after the fracture, but there’s no doubt that the Regulators have had a bigger impact than most. I’ve discussed the transportation obsessed Esther Hele, and the alarming queen of food safety Betsy KauKau. Today, I’ll cover the last and most well received co-founder of the group, Dan Kukulu, or as he’s better known, Dan The Building Man.

Little to nothing is known about Dan’s upbringing and early years. The first mention of Dan in any of the old documents is when he was first appointed as a building inspectors in Lahaina. Dan took to his post just a year before the municipal veil building was constructed. He served the county of Maui for a while, but eventually left to work for Veilcorp.

Dan excelled in his new role, and was soon the head of maintenance at the facility. Fate had different plans for Dan however, and just a few months into his new job the fracture happened. To the astonishment of the surrounding Kānaka, Dan walked away from the building seemingly unharmed days later, and began his work immediately.

Although people were falling victim to biohazards and toxic fumes all around him Dan seemed fine. His survival coupled with his quiet demeanor, and aversion to physical contact made fellow survivors nervous at first. Their worries were soon quashed when Dan began to inspect buildings in the area and started repairs.

It was not unusual in those first few years after the collapse to wake up and find new handrails, or a repaired access ramp outside of your building. He never asked for help, but would accept it silently and graciously. When people would inquire, the normally quiet Dan would respond that the fracture wouldn’t have happened if the proper codes were followed. He couldn’t undo the accident, but he could ensure that everyone had a safe and accessible place to live now. He saw it as his job to make sure that the old construction safeguards were upheld, so the future could be rebuilt to commonly accepted standards.

Dan’s tireless work and aloofness had a big impact on the Kānaka in particular. They began to whisper that Dan wasn’t human but a spirit of the land. They claimed that he never slept and could travel great distances through the air at night. They made lists of things such as: clearly marked exits, termite barriers, clear roof drains, and properly installed cladding systems that pleased The Building Man. Dan loved detailed maintenance logs above all else, and presenting a set to him was a sure way to keep him working in your village.

Dan hated inaccurate blueprints and rooms without proper egress above all else. The Kānaka devised complex ceremonies to ensure that Dan would grant them building permits. These ceremonies could last for days and involve multiple villages. The rituals surrounding grandfathering a surviving structure were especially elaborate.

It wasn’t long before The Building Man started attracting followers, but unlike his fellow Regulators he never seemed interested in leading a large group. If he felt that his work crew had become too large to be efficient, he would send them ahead to scout and start repairs in new areas. Many of the remaining structures in Lahaina are standing because of Dan’s work. It’s hard to estimate how many people he helped that first year, but they numbered in the hundreds at least.

However helpful some found Dan, he was not without his critics. The Building Man considered every structure on the island his domain. He did not wait for permission to inspect your dwelling. It was his job. He would make what repairs and alterations he deemed necessary without regard for the people inside. It was not unusual to be awoken in the night from the sound of Dan altering the size of your doorway to meet code or other adjustments. Worse still, if he found your structure uninhabitable he would demolish it without regard for the occupants inside. If he was met with resistance Dan could be a terrible opponent indeed.

It was this disregard for the wishes of a structure’s occupants, and heedless renovation that eventually drove Dan from Lahaina. He attempted to install emergency lighting with a small crew of followers inside a building that turned out to be a Tapper stronghold. A fight between the groups soon broke out. According to the stories, the battle was so large that almost all of Front street was covered in Tapper fog. For hours the sounds of screams and nailguns mixed with taps and explosions. The battle moved North into the old preserve and Dan was never seen in Lahaina again.

There are rumors that Dan survived his battle with the Tappers and simply relocated to Kapalua to work in peace around the golf course. The Kānaka claim that he was so troubled by the Tapper’s aggression that he traveled to another island to continue his work. Whatever the truth, there is no doubt that Lahaina is a better place because of Dan’s work.

The History of the Regulators Part II

There have been a number of groups and individuals who have impacted the day-to-day lives of survivors on the island. Few have had as big of an impact as the regulators, however. The collection of dedicated civil servants and like-minded individuals, strive to implement and enforce the rules and regulations that existed before the collapse of civilization. Many, including the Kānaka, see them as the last vestige of an old failed system. Still, others admire their perseverance.

Earlier this week we covered the group’s founder, Esther Hele, a former DMV worker striving to keep the roads safe and the drivers licensed. Today, we’ll cover the group’s most notorious member, Betsy Kaukau. The name alone is enough to make even the bravest Kānaka warrior nervous. Even amongst members of the Regulators, Betsy is considered misguided. Some say that her story is more fiction than fact and serves as a cautionary tale. Others disagree. Either way, her story is an important piece of island history.

Betsy was not born to love her job like many of the Regulators. She was led down the health inspector path through tragedy. Until her 12th year, the young lady was remarkable only in her unremarkability. She wasn’t interested in anything in particular, excelled in no sport or extracurricular activity. She wasn’t a gifted orator or artist and was an average student. Everything about Betsy was standard with no deviation, until that fateful day at her father’s company picnic.

The media at first didn’t fully appreciate how bad the tainted food was. By the end of the week, they would be calling it the worst case of food poisoning ever recorded. A CDC investigation found that a perfect storm of tainted lettuce, undercooked chicken, and spoiled cole slaw was responsible. There was a cobb salad that combined listeria, trichinosis, salmonella, and e-coli in one dish! There were a number of recalls and legal suits filed but it was too late for the 34 men, women, and children lost that day. It was too late for Betsy’s family.

The girl was sent to live with relatives in Lahaina where she began to finally show an interest in something, microbiology, and food safety. Betsy became obsessed with protecting others from the same fate as her family. As a teenager, she was banned from several local restaurants for barging into the kitchen and demanding to check food temperatures or test sanitizing solutions with her container of test strips. Nobody was surprised when she eventually became a health inspector.

She attacked unsafe food handling practices with a vengeance that unnerved her co-workers and led to a number of official complaints. Betsy was particularly hard on the businesses that had banned her as a teenager. She became convinced that they were lying about their food handling practices and hiding something. When she publicly accused the owner of a popular beach bar of serving poisonous pina coladas, it was the transgression that her superiors had been waiting for. A disciplinary hearing was scheduled for the following Tuesday, September 27th, the same day that the veils fractured. Nobody knows what happened at that hearing or how Betsy survived. What is clear, is that the catastrophe had a profound effect on the already obsessed woman.

For a while, the islanders embraced her, and she was helpful. She taught safe food preservation and canning procedures. She explained to all who would listen that public health was more important than ever, and was the first to discover that the island’s white rats carried prions and shouldn’t be eaten. There can be no argument that for a time Betsy saved many lives, but as the Regulators grew in power so did her instability.

She began to preach about the pureness of food. Claiming that all food was flawless until tainted by mishandling and lies about its preparation. She believed that lies could taint people and spill over into their meals just as easily as bacteria, and it was her job to protect the public from both.

This is where the stories began to conflict and get a bit murky. There are claims that she believed that the entire summer harvest in a Thriver village had been tainted and had every plant dug up and destroyed. Still, others say that she thought the people had been tainted so she poisoned their food to stop the spread of the infection. Either way, many lives were lost and it was just the beginning.

The stories of her exploits for the next year range greatly from the bizarre and misguided to the horrific. What is certain, is that Betsy took complete control of the food and its distribution in Lahaina for a long time. She began to target specific people she felt did not take safe food handling seriously. They found no mercy at the bottom of her sanitizer vats, and no pity from her long probe thermometers. Finally, though, they had enough.

With her compatriot Esther run-off after a disagreement with the Kānaka chief Ikaika, Betsy didn’t have the manpower to hold off those who wanted her gone. She supposedly escaped her attackers and fled East to join up with Esther, but accounts of the assault vary. Some say she made it and plans on coming back with a whole new arsenal of twisted kitchen equipment and shutdown notices. Some say she is finally at peace somewhere in the rubble of her old headquarters. Whatever the truth, everyone who has ever accidentally dropped food on the floor can breathe easier since she’s been gone.

The Legend of “The Lucky Dodge Hotel”

There is no shortage of mysterious legends and strange places in Lahaina. Whether it’s a cryptic Hailoha driver patrolling Front Street, a mountain top ghost ship, or an eccentric survivor with a small fleet of submarines, there are plenty of stories to tell around a fire. One of the most beloved by the Kanaka is the story of The Lucky Dodge Hotel. A place where you can get almost anything if you are desperate enough, and willing to pay the price.

Before the fracture, The Laki Beach Lodge was one of the most popular places to stay in Lahiana. Set between Front Street and the ocean, guests found themselves yards away from the beach and within walking distance of many popular destinations. Laki Lodge was always full and had a reservation list that extended months ahead. However, like everything else, the accident changed all that.

A Naval group was traveling to their base on Molokai when the veils ruptured. Instead of appearing next to the docks and commencing with some minor maintenance, the ships emerged from the veil like a bullet from a gun. All of Lahaina shook and the sound was deafening, as reinforced hulls tore great furrows into the ground and shattered from the incredible force of the impact. In a matter of seconds, the group had reshaped the coastline and created two deep channels in a “V” shape around the Laki, leaving it alone on a green island. The Kanaka renamed it “The Lucky Dodge Hotel” and the moniker has stuck to this day.

Many believe that the hotel’s near destruction was no accident. The Kanaka say the area is sacred and protected by the land and water. The fact that the lights are always on, and strange sounds can often be heard coming from the building, does little to dispel these rumors. Most Kanaka refuse to visit the hotel and there are numerous stories about the curious never returning after walking through the front door. While there are no vacant rooms, it is said that you can get almost anything in the lobby of the Lucky Dodge if you are willing to pay the price. The desperate few who have returned describe staff as enigmatic as the building itself.

Nobody knows for sure who owns the hotel. There are stories that it is run by the Tappers who use it as a base to watch over the island. Others say that Veilcorp knew that the fracture would happen and took over the hotel, keeping it a living time capsule of 2050 for high-ranking employees. There are even tales that it is part of some larger underwater complex. However, everyone agrees that it is dangerous to try and reach the Lucky Dodge without help.

The dark waters of the koʻokoʻo inlets that surround the hotel hold an unusually high number of patrolling sharks. Lingering radiation in the waters can cause confusion in those trying to swim across, leaving them to tread water until the sharks find them or they slip below, due to exhaustion. According to the tales, the safest way to cross the inlet is to travel to the Southern bank, find the old valet stand, and press the call button to summon the canoeman. A young man of Kanaka descent, the canoeman never speaks except to say, “Tipping is appreciated” and always arrives within minutes, day or night. A trip across the inlet costs 10 rai which must be paid upfront with return passage, should you make it, being free. There are rumors that without payment you can cross, but must serve inside the Dodge in some capacity.

Once inside the building, visitors are treated to an immaculate lobby filled with the sounds and smells of the old world. Unlike the canoeman, descriptions of the concierge vary greatly. Some describe a short bearded man in a suit, while others recount a statuesque woman with raven-black hair dressed in an old-fashioned gown. While the physical descriptions differ, they are said to both speak with a strange accent and carry themselves oddly, leaving visitors uneasy.

They say that the concierge can get anything you may need, direct you to any location, and answer any question for a price. That price is always high and often, not a monetary one. Many accidents and strange events on the island are rumored to be the price paid for a favor from the Dodge, but the few who claim to have visited are reluctant to talk about the cost. Whatever the truth about the owners may be, there is no doubt that the Lucky Dodge Hotel is one of the most enigmatic locations in Lahaina, with many considering it a destination of last resort.

Bruddah Lee

Kanaka Historian

The History of the Regulators Part I

There have been a number of groups and individuals who have helped make the island livable since the fracture. From science fair kids joining forces with a dance troupe, to mysterious delivery men trying to keep Front street safe, many have dedicated their lives to making things better. Then there are those that are harder to quantify.

The Regulators are one such group. A collection of dedicated civil servants and like-minded individuals, the Regulators strive to implement and enforce the rules and regulations that existed before civilizations collapse. Most on the island views this as a preposterous endeavor at best. The Kānaka in particular, have a very dim view on rebuilding things in the image of what existed before. However, there are those that admire the tenacity of the Regulators and their resolve.
This is the first in a series explaining how the group got its start, and detailing their three most important members.

By all accounts Esther Hele was a miserable child. Born the daughter of a well-known Pali-ites instructor at the world famous Kokua Wellness Center and Spa here in Lahaina, Esther’s troubles began almost immediately. The carefree and self-regulated parenting style in her home did not fit Esther’s personality. Thriving on order and rules, she would routinely put her toys in long lines in order to listen to their concerns and give them daily direction.

This behavior spilled over into preschool, where young Esther took great delight in reporting any and all infractions, (especially line cutting), to the teachers. Elementary school was no better. She was picked last, if ever, for every game at recess. The other children made fun of her need for order and love of authority. Things finally came to a head when Esther presented a 10-page report on the short-counting issue running rampant during hide-N-seek to the Principal.

It troubled her greatly that others were routinely allowed to disregard the rules without consequence. It seemed unfair to her that many of the adults appeared not to care, or were unwilling to enforce mutually understood standards of conduct. The lunch line was haphazard and inefficient at best. Esther declared that she would be better equipped to run things than her classmates or teachers. It was her proposed punishments for them that drew the most concern. After some discussion with school officials, and a licensed counselor, it was agreed that Esther should attend a more structured private school on the mainland.

The new school was exactly what she needed. While she still had trouble relating to her peers, Esther thrived under the strict new rules. She soon became a favorite of the staff and was allowed many special privileges. She reorganized the stanchions in the library, reducing the average check-out time by almost a minute. She added 30 pages to the school’s code of conduct packet to remove any ambiguities. Instances of students sneaking off campus dropped by a third under Esther’s diligent night watches. Not only did Esther like the strict rules, but she began to love the power as well.

Eventually she graduated and needed to find work. College seemed too chaotic for Esther and her teachers suggested a summer job while she worked on her plans for the future. On paper the DMV seemed liked the perfect fit for her, and as Esther would tell you, paper never lies. She did well at private school, but she was born to work at the DMV.

The lines were magnificent. If someone gave you trouble you could put them in another line, and watch the hope drain out of their eyes, by closing it minutes later. While the rules and organization inside seemed capricious or punitive to some, they made perfect sense to Esther. Still, she missed her family and longed to mold her hometown into a more efficient place to live. She was eventually granted a transfer.

Esther had just began to settle in at her new office. She wasn’t even supposed to start for another week, but she wanted to time the lines and look for any possible rule breaking from her co-workers before she started her next report. When the island started shaking she quickly led them to the designated emergency shelter and had the forethought to bring the water tanks from the lobby. Say what you will about her personality, but all the survivors inside that DMV office that day owe her their lives.

They stayed in the shelter for what seemed like forever. Finally, the water situation started to become dire. Esther knew she had to get out and survey the area, but she was not quite ready for what she saw. Everything was in ruins. She assumed there must be other survivors somewhere but she didn’t see any. Though she didn’t know what the problem was exactly, it was a safe bet that nobody would be veiling in with help anytime soon. It was clear what she had to do.

With the veils broken, organized roads and safe drivers were more important than ever. She couldn’t clean water but she could make sure the equipment needed would be delivered by licensed drivers. She didn’t have any medical equipment but she could ensure that it was distributed promptly through an orderly transportation system. She had the knowledge and skills. She understood how important her cog was in the wheel of civilization. She would continue the DMV’s work.

The rest is history. For years Esther could be found patrolling the roads and conducting driving tests around Lahaina. Some of the questions changed over the years. “What should you do first if you find a Menehune has cut your brake lines?” and “If you are trying to escape a Night Marcher who wants your skull, but the light is red, are you allowed to continue without coming to a complete stop,” are two of the most recent additions. Esther tried to keep the rest as close to the original as possible. Her staff grew from the initial survivors to a group of over 100, all looking for any bit of the old world they could find. Islanders started to call them “The Regulators” within a year, and the group flourished.

Esther and the rest of the Regulators bit off more than they could chew however, when they presented the great Kānaka chief Ikaika with a letter demanding he register his war canoe. The bill, which included 35-years worth of penalties, was considered a provocation by the chief. When Esther told him that if he didn’t like it he could move to the back of the line a short battle began.

Lives were lost on both sides but the Regulators tenacity was no match for the Kānaka’s numbers. In her younger days Esther might have fought to the end, but with years came some wisdom, and she retreated to reorganize her paperwork. Lahaina hasn’t seen any Regulator activity in decades now, but it is rumored that the group has never been stronger. Some say that they are simply adding fees and penalties to the Kānaka’s bill while continuing to license those not strong enough to fight back elsewhere on the island.

Love them or hate them, there’s no doubt that the Regulators hold an important place in the history of post-fracture Lahaina. If you manage to get a vehicle going make sure you follow the rules of the road and your paperwork is in order. The last thing you want is to see Esther in your rearview mirror.