The Story of Bulai Joe: The Untrustworthy Trader

Before the fracture a person could get anything they wanted delivered to their home. My grandpa says they could even return it and get their money back if they didn’t like what they got. There were special stores that sold anything you could imagine, even things like candles and weird smelling oils. Things aren’t like that anymore. There are a few places you can go in Lahaina that have basic necessities, like clean water and clubs, but other things are hard to find. That’s why traders are so important. If you want to buy some medicine or ammunition, a trader is your best bet. Since so many count on them for important items, everyone loves honest traders and hates ones that lie. This is the story of Bulai Joe, the most untrustworthy trader who ever lived on the island.

Nobody knows what Bulai Joe did before the accident but one thing was for sure, he was a great liar. Joe could convince almost anyone of anything. Joe sold little things at first: water, canned food, colorful rocks and shells, and was very successful. People liked talking to Joe and many looked forward to a daily visit because he told such good stories. Joe’s name began to spread in the area and soon he was the busiest trader around. Even though he was popular and made a good living, Joe wasn’t happy. He didn’t like the people he sold things to, and the people in charge of his village. He wanted to make more money and he knew just how he’d do it.

He started lightening the loads of his bullets, so he could sell the extra powder. They’d still work on small game, and he figured anything larger would take care of his customers before they had a chance to complain. He’d sell used medkits as new. His scales were always a little off, and he’d steal something from a person’s house only to sell it to their neighbors later.

Joe lived his life lying and cheating people for years. It would usually take a few weeks before people could figure out what he was doing, and by that time he had moved on to a different part of the island. Joe would lay low for a while, and start the whole thing over again when he was running out of rai. Then one day he wandered into Lahaina and he couldn’t believe his eyes.

There were two big groups that hadn’t heard of him, and while the Kanaka had a lot of trade goods, it was the Thrivers that caught his eye. He couldn’t believe how much rai the Thrivers had, and how good their equipment was. He thought to himself, “They have so much that I could retire if I come up with a good plan.” Joe emptied all of his emergency caches and introduced himself to the people of Lahaina.

He sold worthless gadgets and water to the Kanaka, and gave the Thrivers a great deal on some boxes of his special ammunition, and a few crates of old guns. He told them that in addition to lots more weapons, he had two hospital size Reparre med units that he was willing to sell for the right price. The Thrivers couldn’t believe their luck. Back then, there were lots of sick people in Pu’u and two medical units that size could take care of everyone for years. The price was high, but not as costly as the people they might lose if they didn’t have the machines.

A few days later Joe made a deal with the Thrivers for the imaginary med units. The Thrivers gave him half the rai, and for security, he left behind all of his worthless goods and worries, or so he thought. News that someone was selling Reparre machines had spread beyond Lahaina. A group of bandits was watching Joe, and waiting for just the right time to grab him and the valuable machines. Joe wasn’t even out of town before the bandits grabbed him.

Joe woke up inside the bandits hideout. The leader told him how much they wanted the units and that they were willing to spare his life if he told them where he was keeping them. Joe didn’t know what to do. He didn’t have the machines, but was sure that the bandits wouldn’t believe him. He decided to draw a map to buy some time, but he knew it wouldn’t give him long. Some of the bandits took the map and left, while Joe counted how much time he had left.

A few days passed, and he knew that the bandits would be returning soon. His lies had finally caught up with him. Then he heard someone call his name. It was group of Thrivers come to rescue him. It had taken a while, but they had discovered where Joe had been taken. They told him to go to the back of his room as they put explosives on his door. Unfortunately, they brought the detonators they bought from Joe. The first one didn’t work, and neither did the second.

While the Thrivers were trying to figure out what was wrong, gunfire rang out. Most of the Thrivers were using equipment that they had bought from Joe. Their guns jammed or misfired, and the few bullets they managed to get off were unable to get through the bandit’s armor. Instead of freeing Joe, the Thrivers found themselves captives too.

It didn’t take too long before everyone figured out what had happened, especially after the bandits with Joe’s fake map came back. Joe pleaded with the bandit leader to set him free. He promised all of his inventory, and that he’d find the units he had promised the Thrivers in exchange for his freedom. But the bandits didn’t believe him. Instead of dealing with Joe themselves, they thought it was better for the people of Lahaina to pass judgement. They kept many for ransom but let a few Thrivers free to escort Joe back to town. After hearing the story, the Thrivers and Kanaka tied some of Joe’s heaviest equipment to him and threw him into the sea. The water washed Joe and his lies from Lahaina.

Telling the truth is important for everyone, but especially for traders. I don’t want to be a trader when I grow up because I think it would be boring trying to get people to buy things, but my lying cousin talks about it all the time. My grandpa says he’ll be fine as long as he doesn’t sell anything heavy.

Akamai Mahelona
5th Grade
Pu`u School Lahaina

Dr. Dalia Forsythe Documents Progression of the Great Veil Pandemic

October 27, 2050– It’s been exactly a month since the fracturing, and as strange as it may sound, I’m beginning to think of all this as normal. We’ve managed to get through those first few terrible days, and have scrounged what supplies we could from the urgent care facilities in the area. Maintenance has fixed the problems with the solar generator and we’ve been in continuous contact with a hospital in Seattle. As luck would have it, they have a Reppare Biologic epidemiologists onsite. They’ve had better luck with communications than us, and have had intermittent contact with others. It’s the same everywhere. Power grids and water supplies have been destroyed worldwide. Combined with the accompanying fires, widespread radiation, and severe weather effects caused by the accident, billions have died across the globe. As hard as it is to believe, we may be among the luckiest.

November 2, 2050– Had a young girl come in this morning with purple spots all over her body and an extremely high fever. We had a few patients with similar spots during the chaos last month, but haven’t seen anything like it since. All those patients died so I’m worried about her prognosis. I’m moving her to a different floor just in case it is contagious.

November 3, 2050– One of the nurses who brought the girl upstairs yesterday found a purple spot on her neck this morning, and we’ve had three more patients come in today. I’ve decided to change course and bring her back down. Everyone who is able to be moved is being relocated throughout the hospital. We’ll do triage outside under the awning from now on. I’m not sure what we’re dealing with. Like before, the Reparre machines don’t seem to recognize the patient’s DNA as human. I’ve instructed the staff to wear protective gear when dealing with them. Haven’t heard back from the epidemiologists yet.

November 10, 2050– We’re calling it Ube Fever after the purple yam. Victim’s first present with dark violet spots, high fever, and delirium. The skin thickens, cracks, and eventually sloughs off. Those who are lucky, die of organ failure before the cracking gets too bad. Those that don’t, scream for days, or until their voices give out. It’s happening everywhere. All but two nurses who had contact with the little girl last week have caught it. The girl didn’t make it. We have over 20 patients in various stages of the disease in the emergency room. Seattle had its first victim yesterday. I’ve sent them all the data we’ve collected, but it isn’t much.

November 11, 2050– I had an idea last night. We’ve turned the Newuskin machines back on and are scanning patients and collecting data even when the machine says it’s corrupted. Maybe someone smarter than me will find it useful. We had some success with one of our patients who had been in recently for a melanoma removal. We still had her data on record and were able to replace her thickened skin, but she is still suffering from the other symptoms of the disease.

November 12, 2050– Seattle confirmed what I feared. They say it has spread as far away as London and Singapore. Before the fracture, there was a lot of talk about 127 affecting wildlife and changing DNA. The element is mutating the bacteria at such a frightening speed that I don’t know how we’re going to stay ahead of it. We’re down to 5 staff members including me, and the hospital is packed with screaming patients. It’s background noise to me now, like the sound of the waves when you’re on the beach. I don’t know what we’re going to do with the bodies.

November 14, 2050– The epidemiologist hasn’t had much luck. They’ve tried a number of treatments and protocols without success. He estimates that by the end of the week Ube Fever will have sent 400 million into backup. I sent him my findings using the Newuskin machines. I think that if we had complete system data of everyone we might be able to make some progress. I’ve started running complete scans of everyone, even the few of us who haven’t caught the disease, just in case. The non-recyclable portions of the bodies have started to pile up. We’ve had people truck them to the lava floes for disposal.

November 16, 2050– He’s modified the estimate to 600 million lost worlwide. We aren’t even sure how many people are left. The screams have quieted down. The quiet is a result of all the deaths and not anything I’ve done medically for these people. Yesterday was the first day we didn’t have a new patient come in. This thing is running out of people to infect.

November 25, 2050– I haven’t been able to contact Seattle in over a week. Only a few patients are still alive and even the ones who might pull through won’t be able to lead normal lives. I’m not sure why I was never infected when everyone else was. I’d gladly let someone more knowledgeable take blood, tissue, or whatever else they needed. I don’t know if the Nuuskin procedures I shared worked for anyone else. For all I know there isn’t anyone else. I hope that there are others spared from infection like me, but it’s been days since I’ve seen anyone else in good health. I’m afraid that In a little less than a month the Ube Fever has managed to finish what the fracture started. I’m not sure what I’ll do when the last of them passes and it’s just me. It may be Thanksgiving but I’m having a hard time thinking of anything to be thankful for.

Our Supplies are Low and I Don’t Think Help Is Coming

Director Forsythe, as you requested, I’ve done an inventory of the hospital’s remaining supplies and it isn’t looking good. In the 72 hours since the accident, we have gone through all of the spray bandages, almost all of our hyposprays, and we only have about 2 days worth of gauze left if we are going to keep changing patient dressings on the current schedule. We are running low on antibiotics and someone has liberated most of the painkillers from the pharmacy. In addition, the Reparre kits have been acting up and the Newuskin booths have been equally finicky. I’m not sure how much longer we can make it, and the stories I’ve been hearing from the wounded don’t give me much hope. I think we need to have a sitdown with the remaining staff and decided our next course of action.

I still haven’t been able to make contact with anyone outside. I thought by now we would have heard something from the military, the Navy for sure, but nobody has seen or heard anything from the base. We saw a couple of fire trucks head towards the Veil Station right after the explosions but that’s it. We haven’t seen the police or any other emergency services since. After listening to what some of our patients have to say, I’m not sure if help is coming.

We have a severely burned Veilcorp employee who says that the backup system is in emergency shutdown with people caught mid-transit. That means that we might very well have another round of injured if and when the system is restored. I’m afraid that we will have to rely on what’s already here for a while. Their damn AI Valerie keeps sending messages through the emergency system to “Remain calm and find your nearest emergency shelter until help arrives.” but I haven’t been able to reach anyone there to confirm that the veil is down.

We’ve been having all sorts of technical trouble ourselves. In the last couple days, the Reparre boxes haven’t been able to recognize the DNA from several patients. We’ve noticed that it’s mostly people who were close to the station. I think the 127 might be doing something to them. We’ve been seeing lots of strange rashes and pockmarks. Stuff I’ve never seen before except in old pictures of people with smallpox. Others have developed extremely fast-growing cysts and tumors as well as neurological effects. They have uncontrollable muscle spasms before losing all control and succumbing to partial or total paralysis. Some of them scream for hours before passing out and we don’t have enough medication to sedate them. The handheld Reparre kits still seem to work fine, with their more generic stem-cell treatments, but they can’t handle some of the injuries that we are seeing down here.

The Newuskin booths have been glitchy with some of the injured too. We keep getting errors when we try and use them like the machines don’t recognize what they’ve scanned. We’re running so low on materials for them, that we’ve decided to shut them down until we can figure out what is going on. There’s also a serious problem with the electronic medical records not storing correctly.

We are completely overwhelmed. I don’t even know what is wrong with a third of the people here. I’ve never seen some of these symptoms and I can’t believe how fast they seem to progress. We had a woman who came in suffering from burns and a broken arm right after the accident. Yesterday, the skin on her entire body turned purple and sloughed off in an hour while she screamed. Even if I knew what that was, I don’t have the medicine or the technology I need to fix it. Just about the only thing left are aspirin and bandages. We’ll run out of those soon too.

I took an oath to help people and I take that oath seriously, but I think it’s time that we consider the possibility that help isn’t coming. Like you, I don’t live on the island. If the Veil Station is down we’re stranded here, but it’s a different story for the local employees. I must say their dedication has been amazing. I’ve told a number of them to go home but they all refused saying they want to stay and work until help comes or everyone gets to leave together. However, like everyone else, they are curious about what is going on out there, probably more so. We should put together a group to see how bad things are and give them an update. We have a few patients who were initially treated at The Mission before coming here. That might be a good place to start. I’ve also heard that there was a group of people holed up at the Aloha Shores condos just down the road. Maybe they’ve had better luck at contacting someone than we have.

There is a palpable shift in mood down here in the emergency room. Have you looked at the sky lately? I’ve never seen a sky like that and the rain was orange this morning. I’m not saying that we abandon the injured or our duty here, but we need to acknowledge the serious and unique nature of the situation we are in. I think an official effort to make contact with other survivors and gather information will go a long way. Making contact with the outside and assessing our situation will do a lot for morale. We owe it to these people who have decided to stay and care for their neighbors.

Kokua Wellness Center Strike Continues In Row Over Newuskin Expansion

For the past 7 years, The Kokua Wellness Center and Spa has been known as one of the world’s premier destinations for mindful relaxation and facilitated personal growth. Despite its reputation as a peaceful sanctuary for many of Lahaina’s elite, the center has been in turmoil recently. Many of the spa’s most popular instructors walked out in protest last Wednesday and say they have no plans on returning until their concerns are addressed.

Kokua is one of less than 50 facilities worldwide authorized to provide the wildly popular rejuvenating Newuskin treatments. The beauty treatments became an important part of the center’s business and integrated well with the spa’s other programs and offerings. Employees say that balance was upset at the beginning of this year when Vereserum, Newuskin’s parent company, sold the business to longtime rival Reparre Biologic.

According to the disgruntled instructors, Newuskin threatened to pull its machines from the facility unless Kokua devoted more space and promotional money to the Newuskin line of treatments. They say that many popular programs were curtailed or discontinued altogether, with the time and space filled by Newuskin products. For many, replacing the long-time manager Ascended Pali-ites Master Autumn with Notsuko, the Newuskin objective transformation intelligence network, was the last straw.

Autumn says,

“The Kokua that I loved and helped grow is not reflected in the contents or conscience of the people inside that building. Together, we manifested the world’s greatest holistic healing center. A place where you could learn about spiritual nutrition, alternative wellness, and have your chakras aligned through deliberate stretching techniques. However, we’ve become a glorified chop-shop where you can come in and get your outside stripped down and replaced, with little thought to cultivating any form of inner beauty or strength. I was alarmed when our Barraloha classes were cancelled but I was horrified when I was introduced to their AI program, Notsuko. I was informed that it would be taking over spa operations and that effectively immediately, we were going to end our astrological based billing and institute a predetermined pricing structure. When I asked Notsuko if it seriously thought that spiritually cleansing someone born under a fire sign was as easy as cleansing someone with a water sign, it said, “Yes”. I knew then that the inmates were running the asylum. If they think we are going to give up without a fight however, they are sadly mistaken. I think all of us are committed to fighting and focusing our energies on a better Kokua.”

Kokua management had no comment on the strike but people familiar with the issue say that they are considering all options. While not directly involved in the dispute at the wellness center, Reparre’s President Shawn Hastings has offered the use of Notsuko to all facilities providing Newuskin treatments. “While completely safe and reliable, the Newuskin process is incredibly complex, and in our opinion, best managed by our Notsuko technology. Look, the age of AI is here. In the past decade, we’ve seen many corporations use AI to streamline their business. All of Phxicom’s networks are overseen by Phxie, SSHAM’s customer service operations are handled by Shawn, and Veilcorp’s Valarie keeps operations running smoothly. Frankly, we are a little late to the party with the introduction of Notsuko. I understand that some may see it as a threat, but I assure you that our intentions are good. We only want to help support businesses offering Newuskin treatments, not push anybody out.”

According to Chef Craig Hoomaau nothing could be further from the truth.

“Despite what those wielding false power have said, I can vouch for the veracity of Autumn’s story. I’ve been teaching mindful chewing and purposeful swallowing strategies for over 15 years now. I developed one of the best transpersonal plating curriculums in the world and taught thousands to enjoy their meals beyond the limits of their five senses, but all of that didn’t matter to Kokua management and Notsuko. I was informed that my program was responsible for less than 3% of total revenue and was in danger of being cancelled. On top of that, they removed our kitchenette and spacious reflection area with vending machines and a small break area to make room for more Newuskin beds. Our kombucha dispenser is gone and I can no longer feed my fellow life guides nutritious organic, gluten-free, vegan delights. Instead, to save money, we have a machine filled with Manimal, chips, SSham bites, and other processed horrors. I don’t know when people decided that running a business was all about money, but we’re taking a stand at Kokua. We’ll show them that there’s more to living than the veil of modern life. We won’t be bullied into their malignant thinking and we will withhold our vital services until they start respecting the Aloha spirit and soul again.”

Lahaina Celebrates Reality Star Malie Kahiko’s 111th Birthday

Malie Kahiko, one of Lahaina’s favorite daughters, is celebrating her 111th birthday today and visitors and residents alike are helping her celebrate. The popular star of the online series, “Malie’s List”, says that she appreciates all the well wishers and says she doesn’t plan on doing anything special to celebrate her birthday. “After 100, every day is just another day,” she says. Kahiko credits her long life to “genetics, a bit of luck, and trying everything at least once.”

When Malie Kahiko was born, the federal government had just raised the minimum wage to 40 cents, Germany had annexed Austria, oil was newly discovered in Saudi Arabia, and a man named Howard Hughes set a new “round-the-world” record of 3 days, 19 hours. A lot can change in a lifetime, especially a lifetime that lasts over a century. Malie says that veil travel and ceremplant technology are at the top of her list of amazing developments during her long life.

In addition to her longevity, it’s lists that have pushed her into the spotlight, but according to Malie, that was never the plan. “To be honest I never planned or even wanted all this recognition. I started going through my bucket list when I turned 88. It took me 10 years to get through the whole thing. I never imagined I’d actually get through it. Then I spent a year doing things I sorta wanted to do, and made it to the end of that list too. I was 99, I had done everything I ever dreamed of doing. I had buried 3 husbands, a couple children and a grandchild. All of my old friends were long gone and I was honestly struggling to figure out what to do with myself. Some of my great-grandkids suggested I finally get a ceremplant. I’ve never been a big fan of that sort of thing, but they said it’d be easy to use and it’d give me people to talk to. They couldn’t have been more right. I started telling people about my life and my bucket list. Everyday it seemed like a dozen more would message me and before you know it I had my own channel. On my 100th birthday someone said they really wanted to go cliff diving but always chickened out at the last minute, so I said I’d give it a try for them. I figured it might be fun and if it went bad….well I’d get to see my friends again. That was the beginning of the series.”

Malie’s List sees Kahiko scratch off items from viewer’s bucket lists, and has made her one of the most recognized faces in Lahaina. Along with her black mobility scooter Betty, she has spent the past 10 years traveling the world and completing over 250 viewer suggested tasks. Malie has: scooted with the bulls, shuffled off the top of waterfalls, dived with sharks, helped tag the Duracave elephant herd, been hoisted up a sheer cliff face, and even sailed through a hurricane. Surprisingly, Kahiko says she doesn’t see herself as a daredevil, “I’m just a lady who has lived so long that I figure there’s nothing to lose anymore. I go to the Abramo Chop House at least 3 times a week and always eat as much as I can from the Long Pig Buffet, despite what my doctor says. If there’s no lifeguard on duty, I love wading into the surf during a good storm. there’s nothing more beautiful than watching the lightning in the breaking waves. I try not to let anything slow me down. If Betty can get me there, I’m up for it.”

Malie says she doesn’t know what she’s going to do with all the cards and gifts she’s got so far. She even received a prototype wrist device that interfaces with her implant. “To be honest, I’m not sure of everything this thing does. They’re supposed to be sending a tech over to explain it to me. All I know is that it monitors my health and they said it will help protect me from any major injury. I just like the way it looks, even if it does chafe my arm a little. I’d say they need to make the next one a bit more comfortable.” A Reparre spokesperson said they were thrilled to be able to provide Kahiko with the company’s latest technology but could not comment on the device’s specifics.

Inventor Ano Lee, one of Malie’s most diehard fans, gave Betty some upgrades this year as a birthday gift. “I never miss an episode of Malie’s List. I know that there are a few things she can’t do because of Betty’s limitations and I wanted to change that. She inspires so many with her show that it inspired me. Most mobility scooters have less than 2 hp and a top speed of around 8 mph on pavement. I thought I could do a lot better than that, and I was right. After a little power rerouting and tinkering, we got Betty to hit 35 mph on the sand. I figure she’ll go at least 50 mph on the road. We lifted the body, added better stabilization controls, and synthetic all-terrain tires. Now she’ll be able to cross all the deserts and jump all the buses she wants. We added a flash freezing unit to the basket to keep her drinks cold, speakers, a 120 decibel dual air horn system to let people know she’s coming, and a hula girl bobblehead on the handles, to help her remember her home no matter where she is. I hope these modifications last her another 111 years.”

Kahiko says she’s overwhelmed by all the kind words and amazed at Betty’s upgrades. “Just when you think you’ve seen it all, someone gives you a souped up scooter with heat resistant tires. I can’t wait to go volcano exploring while listening to Benny Goodman.”

Reparre Debuts Next-Gen Spinal Orthotics at Expo

When it comes to durable medical equipment Reparre Biologic may not be the first company that comes to mind. Better known for their customized DNA medicine and tailored stem cell technology, the company is expanding their medical equipment business with a line of cervical collars and hi-tech halos that have made a big splash at this year’s Medical Orthotics Expo in Lahaina. The company says their new state-of-the-art equipment adapts to specific individuals, reducing pain and healing times by as much as 30%.

It is estimated that as many as 25,000 Hawaiians suffer from a serious neck injury each year. These injuries can be quite painful, with long recovery times, lasting many months in some cases. Up until now, patients who suffered such injuries had few options in orthotics, none of which were particularly comfortable.

Shawn Hastings, President of Reparre, says, “The braces and collars available for people suffering from spinal injuries were absolutely archaic. The medical halo hadn’t changed much in almost 100 years. Just think about that. Imagine doctors still advising lobotomies for depression, treating cancer with shark cartilage, or recommending a brand of healthy cigarette? Obviously we’ve come a long way since then, and our new line or spinal and neck orthotics are a giant leap forward for the industry.

Our cervical collars adjust automatically to fit every shape and size of patient, and deliver ultrasonic stimulation therapy, all while relaying medical information in real time to our integrated home monitoring system. Our halo rings are self adjusting saving hours of painful positioning and xrays. In addition, they are able to deliver our customized DNA medicine to specific areas automatically, decreasing recovery times by up to 30%.”

“It’s truly amazing,” says Dr. Dalia Forsythe of the Lahaina Medical Group. “I’ll need to look at the trials more closely, but my initial thoughts are that we’re entering a new era when it comes to the treatment of spinal injuries. They’ve been able to not only save the lives of over a dozen patients suffering from an internal decapitation, an injury where the spine becomes detached from the skull, with a 70% mortality rate, but those patients recovered fully in less than 2 months with no lasting neurological effects. This will profoundly change the lives of hundreds of thousands worldwide every year, and offer many some bit of hope where there was none before. I can’t wait to see some of this equipment in use first hand.”

Despite the excitement in the medical community, a small group have been protesting the expo because of Reparre’s involvement. The company has faced heavy backlash over the past few months after a video, purported to be filmed at a Reparre facility, showed ghastly experiments being conducted on animals. The company has denied the claims, and The Office for Protection from Research Risks (OPRR) has cast doubts on its authenticity.

One of the protesters, Sebastion Malu, leader of the Eternal Cycle Church and former Barraloha instructor at the Kokua Wellness Center says that Reparre is indoctrinating the public into a false narrative, and his group is trying to “pull back the curtain of lies to enlighten humanity.”

“The truth of the matter is that the human body responds best to natural healing, clean water, and sunlight. This convention is all about coming up with ways to convince the public of big pharma’s lies, and to feed the greed of the medical establishment. If you listened to them you’d think it was a miracle that people made it before modern medicine at all. They talk about vaccines, antibiotics, and genetic predispositions, as if a person could be born into sickness on their own without being poisoned by their pharmaceuticals. People in our current form have existed for at least 300,000 years, and luckily we’ve only been subjected to modern “medicine” for the last 2,000. We routinely see things like cancer, anxiety, and autoimmune diseases now, when they never existed in the past.

My experience has taught me that neck injuries, no matter how severe, can be easily treated at home with acupuncture, tonal therapies, and massage. I think most people would be surprised what can be done with a taro leaf compress and liberal use of essential oils. In fact, many types of serious maladies, such as organ failure, can be treated with fresh ocean air and mindful breathing practices. Modern medicine is a business and business is about money. Reparre perfectly sums up this truth. Nothing here respects nature and the wisdom of our ancient forefathers. This is not about healing, this about making people dependent on these hi-tech collars of submission.”

Reparre Biologic develops permanent allergy treatment

Until now people like 40-year-old Kristyn Ribble had few ways to cope with their extreme allergies: avoid contact with their allergen, or take medications that can sometimes have serious side effects. But a recent breakthrough by Reparre Biologic is offering a chance to “cure” severe allergic reactions, not just manage symptoms. Using genome editing technology, the company says one shot is enough to permanently rid an individual of any allergy. Reparre says the treatments are safe, quick, and a game changer for those suffering from life threatening allergies.

Kristyn is part of an ever increasingly large group commonly referred to as “Allergy Exiles”. Suffering from a severe sensitivity to tree pollen, Kristyn has spent most of her adult life veiling from place to place in order to stay ahead of pollen blooms. She says, “As a kid I’d have to stay inside for weeks at a time and the medicine I was prescribed made me hyper. It wasn’t a pretty picture. I didn’t understand why my parents gave me these pills that made me bounce off the walls and then would keep me inside while all my friends were out playing. When I was 8 I snuck out to jump through the sprinkler with the neighbor kids during a pollen bloom. I made it through the water a few times before my throat started to close. For the last 32 years I haven’t felt safe outside. I can’t wait to get the treatment and try to live a normal life, without having to move at the beginning of every season or breathe scrubbed air.”

The American College of Allergy, Asthma and Immunology (ACAAI) estimates that over 200,000 people in the U.S. alone are allergy exiles. Mirroring the rise of severe peanut allergies in the 2000’s, the increase in severe pollen allergies has been dramatic and the cause remains a point of controversy. While many radical environmentalists and fringe medical practitioners claim the increase is due to Veilcorp activity or 127 poisoning, most allergists believe in the “hygiene hypothesis”.

According to the hypothesis, children are not exposed to enough infectious agents and parasites, as well as beneficial symbiotic bacteria when young. This severely holds back the natural development of the immune system and leads to extreme susceptibility to allergic diseases. Ironically, according to the explanation the air filters that Kristyn has relied on most of her life may be making her condition worse.

The treatment devised by Reparre is several years in the making and once administered lasts a lifetime. “We use our stem-cell therapy and personalized DNA medicine to permanently modify genes in our patient’s cells putting an end to their body’s extreme response to allergens. Beyond just a stuffy nose and watery eyes, for people like Kristyn, allergic reactions can be fatal. When we started looking into the problem we were surprised to learn that nobody was doing any serious work in the area. Most doctors recommended exposure therapy, but that was at the very least uncomfortable for patients, and could often be dangerous. Our treatment involves taking a cheek swab to harvest some cells, and a return visit the next day for a shot. That’s it. No more living in fear of anaphylaxis,” says CEO Shawn Hastings.

While Reparre says their allergy cure is easy, safe, and quick, there were a number of troubling reports during the treatment’s trial phase. One of the earliest recipients of the treatment was reported to have become allergic to his own hair and later another subject developed a severe sensitivity to water. Hastings dismisses the stories as the fabrications of a disgruntled employee. “I can assure you that nobody has suffered any permanent harm during our testing. Like all trials, we learned some valuable information about side effects and the efficacy of our therapy. But we’re talking about things like nausea and a slight rash, nothing near as dangerous as the conditions we were treating. This treatment is a new lease on life for many.”

Kristyn agrees. She has already made an appointment and plans to be the first recipient of the treatment at her doctor’s office when it is available next week. “It’s going to be a big change for me. I usually spend my winters in Sydney catching as many shows as I can at the Opera House. Then I veil to Tokyo and stay until the cherry blossoms begin to bud, and I move on to my spring/summer homes in Oslo or Stockholm. I absolutely love Scandinavian summers. The fall sees me veiling to my beach house in Lahaina so I can catch the food and wine festival and watch the whales when they begin to arrive. A few months later the whales and I head back to Sydney and begin the whole process again. It’s exhausting! With this new treatment I’m hopeful that I can finally enjoy my many homes in any order I want.”

While the therapy was targeted at dealing with life threatening allergies, Hastings is quick to point out that the procedure works equally well for those with less severe reactions. “If you’re sick of taking a pill every time you go to visit your aunt and her collection of cats, or you just want to stop and smell the roses without getting a sinus headache, ask your doctor if our treatment is right for you. It’s quick, easy, and lasts forever.”

Controversial New Procedure Promises Clear Underwater Vision Without Goggles

A prominent Reparre Biologic researcher says that she has developed a way to allow people to see clearly underwater without the use of goggles. Her procedure involves creating a nictitating membrane, a structure found in many marine mammals and sharks, that would protect the eye while in the water and allow greatly enhanced vision. She says the procedure could be done at any Newuskin facility in a matter of minutes. The company hopes that they can start offering the membranes as an option, along with other treatments, by the end of the year.

In the animal kingdom, a wide variety of species have nictitating membranes. Sharks, reptiles, birds, and even camels have an extra eyelid to help protect their eyes from harsh elements or improve their vision. However, according to the procedures inventor Alanai Kalialani, the remnants of one exist in humans too.

Kalipalani says that there are a number of vestigial organs and structures in human beings that people are familiar with: the appendix, the tail bone, and wisdom teeth just to name a few. What most people don’t know, is that they have part of an extra eyelid as well. “It’s called the plica semilunaris. You can see it in the inside corner of your eye. It has turned into a little fold of tissue. The muscles attached to it are vestigial as well. All we do is build up the tissue a bit and strengthen the muscles,” says Alanai.

Since the news broke about the proposed procedure, many have expressed concern over the treatment and wondered publicly if the operation should be done at all. Many feel that since Reparre’s acquisition of Newuskin the company has pushed the boundaries of good taste and the law. Troubling videos of animal experiments, supposedly from inside a Reparre testing facility, were released a few months ago that sparked a government investigation into the company. Reparre denies that the videos were shot at one of their labs but public opinion remains mixed. A vocal group sees the procedure as a step too far and comparisons to the famous H.G. Wells character of Dr. Moreau have been common. According to Kalialani it wasn’t an old science fiction story that inspired her however, it was a story from her father.

“My father was a rescue swimmer for the Coast Guard for years and experienced a lot on the job. He never talked to us when we were kids about specifics. I don’t suppose tales of drownings or near-drownings make the best bedtime stories, but when I got older he shared some of what he saw with me. One story in particular haunted him and stood out to me. It was the middle of a horrible storm and a container ship was in trouble. The load wasn’t properly secured. The boat had already tipped and was on the verge of sinking. Some of the containers had opened and the churning water was filled with clothes, coats, plastic totes, and scared people. My dad lost his mask almost as soon as he hit the water, when a wave slammed a tote into the side of his head. He found two survivors and gave the tote to one to hang on to while he helped the other into the survival ring. By the time they lowered the ring back down and he turned around, the other survivor was gone. Even though it was dark, he dove down, grabbed him and brought him up. When he cleared his eyes, he saw it was only a water-logged coat. Without his mask, he couldn’t find the survivor. It was dark and stormy and the water was filled with debris so chances are he wouldn’t have found him even if he had his mask, but that rescue still haunts my dad. I wanted to do something that could help people like him by giving them a tool to make their job easier and help save lives, not because I always wanted to be a mad scientist.”

Despite Alanai’s assurances many still feel that the treatments cross a line that would be hard to walk back from. An anonymous letter sent to the Kokua Wellness Center reads in part, “[The treatment] pushes the boundaries of good taste. What’s next, sharp pincers for a seamstress? What about someone who doesn’t like their shape and wants to become a cube? I don’t blame these people, they are quite clearly sick. Instead of indulging these aberrations of thought, we should be letting them know that there already is a perfect version of themselves. They can see it in the mirror anytime they want.”

Still, others think the process should go further and hope that the most salacious concerns come to pass. Local resident and YouTube sensation Randy Wilcox says he can’t wait to add some “upgrades” to his body.

“I never thought that Kokua would offer something that would appeal to a guy like me, but I’d be first in line to get a pair of shark eyes. There’s a lot of other things I’d like to get too. Webbed feet might be cool, maybe some little horns or something awesome looking like that. To tell you the truth, there’s one thing I’d like more than anything else, a tail. I don’t want one to hang off of things like a monkey, or sting people, although that would be great. I want a tail to help me express emotions. We’ve been really focused on lucha libre style wrestling for my channel lately. While it’s a lot of fun, it’s hard to emote with a mask on. Everyone knows how important that connection with the crowd is and it’s really hard when people can’t see your face. But if I had a tail, I could use it to hype the crowd. It’d stand up straight and confident after I landed a drop-kick. I could wag it after a victory. If I was in a sleeper hold, the crowd could see how their cheers pump me up, as may tail goes from between my legs and rises off the mat in rhythm with their shouts. It’d be like having another little wrestler in there, helping to tell the story. I’ve dreamed of having a lot of special things in my future, but never a tail. I can’t wait!”

Despite Randy’s enthusiasm for an augmented body, Kalialani reiterates that the procedure would just extend an already present membrane over the eye, not add appendages. She says, “I don’t know what it is with people on the internet, we have no plans or desires to create tails, fur, big eyes or floppy ears at this time.”

Controversy Grows Over Newuskin and Ceremplant Acquisition With Release of Troubling Video

It was the biggest acquisition in history and sure to turn the healthcare and medical industry on its ear. At the beginning of the year, Reparre Biologic confirmed the rumors that had been circling the markets for months. They had reached a deal with Vereserum for the purchase of their widely successful Newuskin business and the perennially floundering Ceremplant. Almost immediately, Reparre was criticized over the purchase price, and allegations of misdealings began to leak out to the media. Now, almost three months later, the accusations have reached a fever pitch over a video that purports to confirm stories of animal mistreatment at a Reparre research facility.

The deal was the largest ever, worth a whopping $295 billion. The news was huge but was soon overshadowed with questions about how Reparre was able to secure the capital for the deal, the viability of their business plans, and allegations of government collusion. However, the deal was not without its backers.

Many pointed out that the Ceremplant was originally created to treat those with visual impairments, a field that is currently dominated by Reparre. In addition, the company’s successful telemedicine program relied heavily on data received through Ceremplant technology. Reparre had also recently partnered with Nuuskin to offer Tailored Cellular Optimization (TCO) treatments for animals, changing the future of large-scale farming. To some, the acquisition allowed the company to better control the largest growth areas it had ever seen.

President of Reparre Biologic Shawn Hastings said, “We are excited about continuing the work we’ve already begun as partners, and look forward to exploring the future with our new family members. We plan on more tightly integrating Ceremplant and Newuskin technology, as well as bringing our TCO research into more mainstream medical fields. We’d like to incorporate more complex services and explore the deeper medical possibilities created when you combine Newuskin technology with our tailored DNA and stem cell medicine. I think we’re just stepping through the doorway into a whole new realm of advanced medical procedures.”

Less than a month later, Hastings promises seemed to be coming true when the company announced the introduction of NU-U booths to facilities offering Newuskin treatments. Any positive momentum was cut short this morning however when a troubling video was released by Gaia Guard that purports to show the horrific treatment of animals at a Reparre research facility.

There had always been rumors of ghastly experiments mirroring the infamous baboon whiplash study conducted at the Head Injury Clinic in Philadelphia in the early 1980s, surrounding Reparre’s TCO research lab. Stories about dogs being progressively more injured and then healed using the company’s technology were never confirmed but were widely circulated. These experiments reportedly became more gruesome after the Newuskin and Ceremplant acquisition. While the video doesn’t show any of the more outlandish stories, like animals being severely burned or dismembered before being treated, it is troubling enough on its own.

In the 6 minute long video, dozen of dogs can be seen receiving implants and enduring a wide range of surgical injuries. From simple contusions to gaping lacerations and even the severing of the spinal cord, the animals are injured and then healed. Many of the animals in the footage are heavily scarred suggesting that they have endured multiple procedures. The video ends with what appears to be a dog being chemically euthanized before being brought back to life.

Reparre denies that the footage is from their facility and says you only have to look at the credibility of the source to determine the truth. They say that their facilities are closely regulated and monitored by numerous government agencies and find the treatment of the animals in the video “repugnant”. They have also expressed outrage over the media outlets who have shown the video, calling it a piece of propaganda produced by a terrorist organization.

The Office for Protection from Research Risks (OPRR) says that there is no evidence that the video is from a Reparre facility and agrees that the source cast doubts on its authenticity. They are however launching an investigation with their own personnel and veterinarians from the American College of Laboratory Animal Medicine. Reparre says they are cooperating fully with the agency and promise to be “completely transparent” during the investigation.

Saying Goodbye to Mr. Sprinkles

All of Tanager Lane is heartbroken this morning. Like many of you, I am still reeling from the fire this weekend. Mrs. Nebbits has been a fixture in the neighborhood even before my ascension to HOA president. For almost 20 years the neighborhood children had a grandmotherly figure to turn to when they needed homemade cookies, or advice and a smile. Her pet pig Mr. Sprinkles was an important part of their lives as well. While Kathy and I didn’t always see things eye to eye, I tried to help her as much as I could and point out problems when I saw them. I just wish I had been more forceful in suggesting that she fix her faulty wiring and stop using so many candles. I dropped by the night of the fire but she was already asleep with Sprinkles curled up at her feet. It’s hard to believe that just a few hours later the flames would change everything.

Mr. Sprinkles’ rise to fame began 11 years ago when he broke out of his house to alert the neighbors that Mrs. Nebbits was hurt. When the paramedics finally forced open the door, they found Kathy at the bottom of the stairs unconscious and lying in a pool of blood. She had a concussion and 26 stitches in her head but she was alive. Who knows what might have happened if Mr. Sprinkles hadn’t gone for help. All of Lahaina was talking about the hero pig of Tanager Lane.

Never one to rest on her laurels, Kathy took this new found fame and she turned it into an opportunity to give back. Her and her pot-bellied partner became a weekly fixture at Molokai General. The sparkling little pig was a favorite of many patients, especially the children. Sprinkles seemed to know who needed a good laugh and who needed to be comforted with a glittery head in their lap and an encouraging oink. The pair touched and literally saved lives with their therapy work. But as the old cliche goes, sometimes bad things happen to good people. According to fire investigator Dan Kukulu, the fire started near her chair where I saw her sleeping that night. He’s unsure if the cause was one of her candles or some faulty electrical work. Whatever the point of ignition, the fire has solved one long-standing problem for me, Mr. Sprinkles.

I know many of you considered him to be the unofficial mascot of Tanager Lane, and that’s the problem. He’s unofficial. You see, even though many of you consider Mr. Sprinkles a scintillating extended family member, he is, in fact, a pig. As such, he is not allowed to be kept inside the preservation zone. The only reason he was allowed to stay with Kathy was that he was here before the rules were put in place and she sued. His exemption burned up in that fire with everything else.

Having no family of her own, it was Mrs. Nebbits’ wish that we collectively take care of Sprinkles until the end of his days. Many of you may think this puts me in a difficult situation, but nothing could be further from the truth. The decision is quite easy actually, because there’s nothing to decide. The rules are quite clear. The pig must go!

I plan on using this unfortunate situation as a teaching opportunity for my kids. If Mrs. Kline had simply followed the rules right away and not sought out a loophole to defy the new law and my authority, this wouldn’t be happening. I’m sure many have wonderful memories of walking the little pig after Kathy got too sick to do it herself. Whenever they think back to those days with a heaviness in their hearts, they’ll remember the importance of guidelines. Following the rules is more important than following your heart. Rules are consistent and forever. Those of you raising your children in single family homes have already taught them that love is fleeting at best, but for the rest of you, this is a great opportunity to teach that lesson.

“But pigs are among the smartest animals on the planet. They can pass the ‘mirror self-recognition test’. That puts them in the same category with chimpanzees, dolphins, and elephants. He knows us,” you might say. Well, if he really is that smart I’m sure he’ll understand that his owner did the wrong thing. The last time I checked, being able to recognize yourself in a mirror does not give you the right to live in Tanager Lane. Besides, for all we know Mr. Sprinkles could have started that fire. Besides me, the pig was the last to see Mrs. Nebbits alive.

“Kathy just spent over $10 thousand on Tailored Cellular Optimization (TCO) treatments. He’s so sparkly now that he shines in the sun. He’s completely rejuvenated and has another 20 years in him at least. Besides, it’s almost Christmas. Can’t we bend the rules just a little one time for such an important member of the community?,” you ask. The answer is a resounding, NO!

As far as I’m concerned we should use Sprinkles new upgrades to our advantage. I was discussing the pig problem at the mayor’s office when Bob Abramo overheard my conversation and offered to help. While I’m not usually one to reward eavesdropping, there was something about the gleam in Mr. Abramo’s eye when we talked about the glittery little pig that caught my attention. He is very interested in Mr. Sprinkles and has offered quite a generous price. He assures me that he has big plans for our sweet little pig.

Out of respect for the connections some of you have with this prohibited animal and the upcoming Christmas holiday, I’m willing to let Mr. Sprinkles stay for a couple more days so you can say your goodbyes. Mr. Abramo only asks that you keep Mr. Sprinkles activity down to a minimum and that we start him on a sweet potato and apple only diet. He seems to know a lot about pigs and tells me that this naturally sugar rich diet is good for his muscles and overall quality. If you need any tips on how to talk to your children about this uncomfortable situation feel free to ask. As you all know, I’m exceedingly good at communication and interpersonal skills. I never thought I’d see this day but here it is. That little pig is about to fly. Mr. Sprinkles had an amazing life and story, but every story comes to an end. Tanager Lane is finally on the brink of achieving total compliance with preservation zone rules, and I intend to hold us to this high standard.