Alohagistics Signs Deal To Become Sole Distributor For Automated Pineapple Farm

A little more than a month into 2049, and it’s already been a good year for Lahaina based logistics company Alohagistics. The ultra-cheap crowdsourced shipping company, best known for their promise that your package will, “Get There Eventually,” has penned a deal making them the exclusive distributor of Ananas Farms pineapples.

With the help of prolific inventor Ano Lee, Ananas Farms has single-handedly revitalized the pineapple business in Hawaii. Thanks to a state-of-the-art automated drone picking and planting program, the farm has been able to bring back an industry that was once a hallmark of the islands, but had all but disappeared. Roy Ananas, who now runs the farm his grandfather started, says he’s excited about the new Alohagistics partnership.

“We think Alohagistics is the perfect partner for our pineapple business. They embrace the same family values, aloha spirit, and eye for innovation that we do. It’s kind of ironic that Ano and I revolutionized the pineapple business by almost completely removing the human element, and automating as much as possible with our drones. Now, we’re going to do the same thing on the distribution side, by totally embracing the power of people and the crowd. With the help of our new partners, Lahaina will be able to enjoy locally delivered and grown pineapple at the peak of freshness, cheaper than ever before.”

One might wonder what a shipping company best known for being the choice of personal assistants looking for a new job, and the ultra-cheap, knows about shipping fruit. According to founder Charles Lohi, surprisingly, not a lot. “To be honest, we’re really learning a lot as we go,” he says.

“Since we basically only need to move packages around the island we’re doing pretty good. I’ve made a whole separate food division to make sure only our top tier Parcel Pals, and most reliable looking beginners, get boxes of Ananas pineapples. I’m most proud of the packaging, which helps our volunteer distributors easily recognize which boxes contain fruit. We hope that this packaging innovation will instill a sense of urgency in them, and get the pineapples where they need to be in a timely manner. So far, so good. We’re currently in talks to transport other Ananas Farms products, we’re especially interested in their algae business. Roy is convinced that it’s going to be the superfood of the future, and that’s good enough for us. Unfortunately, the wax treatment that keeps 20 pounds of pineapple perfectly safe during transport, isn’t quite enough to keep in the moisture of 20 pounds of freshly-scooped algae. We’re looking into different design options, as well as an even cheaper “Wet Packaging” freight option now, but we hope to be handing out Ananas algae soon.”

While the farm is singing the praises of their new exclusive partnership, many business owners, especially ones located near the Veil Station, have complained about abandoned packages, enormous clouds of fruit flies, and the smell of rotting fruit. Ano Lee, partner in farms pineapple business, says they are looking into solutions that can make everyone happy.

“Is the occasional forgotten box of 20 pounds of rotting pineapples a problem? I mean, not really. It’s not like it’s a bomb, or a huge public health hazard. It’s just old fruit. Everyone has experienced a garbage can that is holding something a little strong smelling. You just have to take care of it, and pow! No smell. I can understand that it is not not exactly a bonus for these business owners, but it’s not really a big deal. I’m working on a drone solution that can identify the chemicals rotting fruit give off, and will be able to remove abandoned packages, wherever they’re left.

The big story here isn’t the fruit flies, it’s the quality Alohagistics adds to our fruits. Most produce is picked well before peak flavor, and it is common for consumers to have to wait days before their pineapple is as delicious as it cold be. Thanks to the measured, leisurely distribution, offered by the company’s crowdsourced delivery, every Ananas pineapple you find in a store is as delicious as it’s ever going to be. It’s the perfect fruit for your perfect day. We handle the ripening, so you can enjoy the eating.”

Lahaina Inventor Unveils Poi “Tasting” Technology

There is no food more synonymous with Hawaii and Hawaiian culture than poi. The smashed taro and water mixture is a staple at any Luau and your tutu’s table, but there’s no doubt that the mixture is an acquired taste. Now, Lahaina inventor Ano Lee thinks he has come up with a way to convince you to eat your poi. He’s on a mission to ensure that every batch you eat is perfect and he’s invented the machine he says can do just that.

Besides being one of the most common foods on any Hawaiian table, poi is also one of the island’s most dubious offerings. While being one of the best probiotic foods available to consumers, the taste and texture can be hard for the uninitiated to appreciate. That is where Lee comes in.

Ano says that he has always been a fan of poi and believes that most people who aren’t just had a bad batch. Inspired by recent research in meat tasting technology at the University of Maui Lahaina College, Lee has created a device that can “taste” a batch of poi and gives it a rating.

“Good poi is about taste and texture. I’m no expert at making it, I have partners for that part of the process, but I know what’s good and I’ve transferred that knowledge to my technology. The machine, tastefully highlighted with a premium lighting package, measures salinity, pH, mineral content as well as a smoothness score. Users can compare these values against an ideal to ensure that they’ve used quality taro, cooked it properly, and processed it enough. There are 3 different preloaded music settings with room for all your tunes so you can enjoy your quality control testing. It can even detect many common poisons and radioactivity levels if you’re making poi near any type of industrial accident. As one of its oldest dishes, poi will continue to revolutionize the Hawaiian table.”

Roy Ananas, Lee’s partner in the poi business, says that he knows that a poi tasting machine sounds like a strange idea but he is confident in the technology. He points out the success the pair has had with revitalizing the pineapple business in Hawaii. Lee’s automated drones have made Ananas Farms a leader in Hawaiian agriculture and he believes they can add the world’s best poi to their product line with Lee’s new machine.

“I know he can come on a little strong but his machine is the real deal. I truly believe that the poi we’ve perfected with the help of this technology is some of the best ever pounded with a pestle and triple cooked. The results of our taste tests have been amazing. With people saying things like, “Surprisingly edible and not very sticky,” “The first batch of poi I’ve ever had that wasn’t tasteless purple mud,” and “Not too bad,” it’s clear that we’re on to something big and moderately delicious. I expect our poi business will be booming in a few months thanks to Ano’s creation.”

While that’s good news for taro farmers not everyone is excited about the prospect of a poi tasting machine. Professional poi taster Gary Puniwale says Lee’s technology may be the final straw that breaks the back of one of Hawaii’s oldest professions and small-batch poi artisans.

“I come from a long line of poi tasters. My family is built on a foundation of watery taro and keen taste buds, but I’m glad my grandfather isn’t around to see this day. The market for poi tasters has already dwindled to the point where I only do it part-time, and this technological nightmare may be the thing that pushes my profession over the edge. They recently discovered a 600-year-old batch of poi right here in Lahaina, proving how important this product is to the spirit of the land and the Hawaiian people. I had hoped that the public interest would be the shot in the arm the profession needed. I fear now that it was a shot in the heart. When I think back to all the great jobs that we’ve lost due to “progress” like grocery bagger, projectionist, and human telemarketer it makes me sad. To think that poi tester may soon join them terrifies me. It’s been scientifically proven that the human tongue can identify thousands of variations of bland, but Lee’s device only rates poi on a five-star scale. You tell me which system sounds more advanced.”

City Council Votes to Halt Construction of Algae Farm

Known for delicious pineapples and their one-of-a-kind drone workforce, Ananas Farms is a popular destination for tourists and fruit lovers alike. The hi-tech farm has revitalized pineapple farming on the island almost single-handedly, but their next innovation has run into trouble from the Lahaina City Council. The farm has been building a state-of-the-art algae growing facility for the past six months, with the hopes of beginning production before summer. That goal seems unlikely now, as the city council has voted to halt construction pending a zoning investigation, and an environmental impact study. The farm says they have already filed all relevant paperwork, including a study with the state.

Roy Ananas says, “Algae is not just the food of the future, it has the potential to power homes, clean the environment, and help everyone become self-sustainable.” Ananas says he became interested in farming algae after attending The Hawaiian AG Expo in 2045, but hadn’t been able to seriously explore the field until last year. “The success of the pineapple business has allowed us to really expand the farm and explore other opportunities,” he says.

Roy points out that algae contains twice as much protein as most meat, and is packed with vitamins and minerals.

“It has more beta carotene than carrots and more iron than spinach. It really is a superfood. On top of that, microalgae takes up very little space, can grow in non-potable water or on non-arable soil in a way that reduces greenhouse gases, and without putting pressure on the environment. In addition, as a photosynthetic organism: algae uses sunlight to convert carbon dioxide and water into usable energy, expelling oxygen as a byproduct. I can envision a time when everyone has a big algae tank for food and energy in their backyard.”

Ananas says the algae project was greenlighted months ago, and the county has numerous environmental impact studies concerning the expansion already on file. He says the council’s shift in attitude is due to last month’s shake-up over the trash scandal, and one person, in particular, Bob Abramo.

Despite Roys accusations, Maui District Health Office official Betsy Kaukau says she respects the council’s decision saying, “Where there’s smoke there’s fire, and there’s plenty of smoke regarding the safety of the tanks used by Ananas Farms.” Kaukau says, “I don’t think Roy and his family divulged that they were using some of the same contractors responsible for building the Pilua Shrimp Farm and we all know how that turned out. It was so bad that the FDA got involved, calling it, ‘the most dangerous aquaculture operation the agency has ever seen.’ Thousands got sick from eating their tainted shrimp, and over 500,000 cans of SSHAM, SSHAM Less, and SSHAM Extra Spicy, had to be recalled for public safety. As far as I’m concerned those contractors, and anyone who’d use them, are just as responsible for all those sick people, as the owner who used the toxic shrimp feed.”

Ananas calls Kaukau statements ridiculous, pointing out that the contractors in question specialize in building aquaculture pools, ponds, and tanks. He claims they had nothing to do with the mismanagement responsible for the public health disaster at Pilua. “It’s like saying a tire company is responsible for drunk driving,” he says.

However, newly appointed member of the Lahaina City Council and Chairman of The Solid Waste Resource Advisory Committee Bob Abramo says that too many unanswered questions remain about the proposed algae farm, and the council needs to take a better look.

“If I’m not mistaken, Veilcorp dumped millions of urchins into the water surrounding Lahaina to eat the algae that was killing the coral. Now we’re going to grow more algae, on purpose so WE can eat it? I just have to ask why we didn’t send out a bunch of people who want to make salads out of this gunk, and cut out the urchins in the first place? We’re not talking about Nori wraps or Kombu and a nice dashi broth, we’re talking about pond scum. Our waters are too important to allow what is in essence, a scum factory to operate in Lahaina. Look, if you want to live your life taking supplements, drinking fermented tea, and licking the slime of off rocks to survive, that’s your right. Just don’t ask me to advocate it, or use public funds to support it. Make no mistake, the algae farm is a slippery slope. It’s just a matter of time before they’re pushing “Slimy Sundays” along with “Meatless Mondays”. People did not climb to the top of the food chain to not eat meat two days in a row. Worse yet, is when they try making burgers, and fake-chicken out of it. Thinking of all the children forced to eat green hot dogs at a picnic, breaks my meat-loving heart.”

Inventor Develops Pineapple Picking Drones

Hawaii was once responsible for 80% of the world’s pineapple production, but times have changed. Economic realities and a decrease in available farmland have pushed most production to Central and South America. The fruit that is so synonymous with the islands is only grown commercially by a handful of farms on Maui today. One such operation, Ananas Farms, is trying to reverse the trend with the help of a local inventor. The farm hopes that their pineapple picking drones will make the fruit a major crop in Hawaii again.

Well known by Lahaina residents, Ano Lee might not be what you expect when you imagine a brilliant inventor. The 43-year-old has lived in a maker commune just outside of town since he was a teenager. “My mom and dad built this place as a refuge for artists and craftsmen, and I’m just trying to honor their vision,” says Lee. Dressed in his usual board shorts and rubber slippahs, he admits that he only owns one pair of dress pants. “I think we can all agree that suits and ties are not the wellspring of creativity,” he quips. If his past projects are any indication, he may be right.

2 years ago Lee created a shark mitigation system that put him into the national spotlight. The Naval Research Laboratory (NRL) entered into a development partnership with Lee and is currently using a version of the system now. While his latest invention may not save as many lives, it has huge implications for the future of Hawaiian agriculture. According to Lee, it all started with a bet.

“I hear people say that they love pineapple all the time, but I REALLY love them. If nature has made anything better, I haven’t found it. Ananas Farm is close so I would usually pick up a couple there every day. There’s nothing like a pineapple fresh off the plant. Walking over there got to be a hassle so I asked if I could just pay ahead of time and send a drone over to pick a couple. Roy told me that he wouldn’t have a problem with it, but it was impossible to automate pineapple picking. He told me that if I could come up with a way to do it, he’d let me have free pineapple for life; so I started to tinker around with a solution.”

What Ano came up with is a drone picking and planting system that promises to change the business. Before his invention, it was commonly thought that the processes involved in pineapple production were too complex for automation. However, Lee’s pineapple-bots have overcome every obstacle. A skilled worker can plant 5-6 thousand pineapples a day. The drone can plant around 10 thousand. They are capable of breaking down mother plants for re-planting and can carry up to 6 fruits at a time. Even though their main power source is solar, a battery system allows the bots to work through the night. Lee adds, “The lights allow you to track their work at night and avoid getting smacked in the head by a drone dropping off a load. Best of all I added a really cool strobe feature. You have no idea how awesome a pineapple field looks with 20 high-powered strobe lights going off!”

Roy Ananas says that the farm’s production costs have decreased greatly, while production is up almost 30% since using the drones. “We’re getting calls from all over the place. Companies have been trying to automate pineapple farming since the early 1900’s. It was accepted that it was impossible. What Ano has come up with is amazing! We’re excited about the future here and for the industry as a whole. I just wish I had offered him free fruit in exchange for groundbreaking innovation before. We joke around about how he could revolutionize the world if we could figure out what else he likes to eat.”

Ano says he’d like to refine the pineapple-bots a bit more before he takes on another project,

“There’s still a few issues to work out but I can see these drones being used for a number of other purposes. Cleaning up ocean trash, and a wide variety of construction projects are on the short list right now. We’re working on a way to combine one with a printer in order to make tools and supplies on the fly so-to-speak. The last few years have been really good to me. I want to make sure that I give the drones all the attention they deserve before I move on to something else. I have some ideas about a self-cleaning plate system, and an inflatable pant design that should have the belt industry quaking in their boots. I’m not overly concerned about what’s next. I know I’ll always have a big bowl of pineapple whatever the future holds.”