STORYLINE

Man Who Set Off Massive Fireworks Explosion Files Suit

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The man who set off the massive fireworks explosion in Lahiana last month, injuring 27 people, has filed suit against the county. 51-year-old resident Randy Wilcox accidentally ignited the Fourth of July stockpile while participating in the cleanup effort after the devastating landfall of Hurricane Neki. Wilcox claims that the county failed to take reasonable care of the fireworks and is seeking damages. Nonetheless, officials continue to investigate him for possible criminal wrongdoing in the case.

There is no minimizing the destruction left behind by Neki, but the storm brought out an amazing sense of cooperation and community in Lahaina. Hundreds of volunteers worked to clear debris and look after injured neighbors in the days after the big storm. Randy Wilcox was one such volunteer and was working with a group to clear a road on July 6th, when they discovered a box of fireworks. Eyewitness reports about the precise series of events conflict, but there is no dispute that Wilcox fired the rocket that ignited the unseen stockpile of fireworks, lying just underneath the debris in the road. The ensuing explosion was felt on Front Street and could be heard in Olowalu, more than 6 miles away. While 27 people were injured in the blast, remarkably, no one was killed.

“Like everyone else, we had been working all day when I spotted the fireworks. I thought we’d take a break and have some fun,” says Wilcox. “We found a half-full fuel can a little earlier, so I thought it’d be fun to shoot at it. I didn’t know that the debris in the road was what was left of the shed where they had stored the fireworks from the cancelled show. I put a bunch of sparklers in front of the can and started shooting bottle rockets at it. It took a while for the sparklers to catch but once they did everything happened pretty fast. I remember the can popping and watching the burning fuel spread out and almost right away I felt the ground under my feet just lift up. My face felt really hot and the next thing I know, my boots are smoking and I’m flying through air. This was not the first time I’d been accidentally launched somewhere, but this time I was spinning around like a frisbee. I knew I was in trouble. I ended up crashing through the front window of a house nearby where my new hero Craig Luahi saved my life. If he hadn’t been sitting on the couch right where I landed to cushion my impact, I might not be here today. I feel awful that he’s still recovering from his injuries but I thank him and the man upstairs for looking out for me. I just wish they had been more careful with how and where they stored the fireworks, someone could have died because of their carelessness.“

Luahi disagrees strongly with Wilcox’s take on the situation and is suing him for his injuries and the loss of his couch. “Like a lot of others I was just happy to have made it through the storm unharmed. The house had a little bit of roof damage but nothing major. Best of all, my couch hadn’t even gotten wet. We’d already been through a lot together. It was the first big thing I had bought for my first apartment. It wasn’t new or anything but it was the nicest thing I had. Even though I was eating off of TV trays and using milk crates for end tables, I always had that couch to sit on. I worked during the day, went to class every night for years and that couch was my bed when I was too tired to move. I learned that I was going to be a father for the first time resting on those cushions. I was sitting in the same place when I heard that my grandma passed away. That couch and I shared 20 years of life and now we had even made it through a hurricane together. I had just opened a cold beer and took a little sip when I heard the explosion. It looked like a huge flock of birds at first through the window. As it got closer, I could see it was bits of wood and stone, with something trailing smoke in the middle. By the time I could tell the smoking part was a person, Randy was crashing through the window. I heard the frame crack when his head smashed into my teeth and we sank back into the torn fabric. My beer was knocked out of my hand and ended up wedged in the broken arm rest. I tried to reach it but couldn’t. I had to watch it spill out over the cushions. Because of Randy’s actions I’ve had to relive that moment over and over again while I’ve been recovering. I blame him 100% for the explosion, my injuries, and my torn, beer-soaked-cushions!”

The mayor’s office says they can not comment on the case because of the ongoing criminal investigation. However, an anonymous source familiar with the case agrees with Luahi calling Mr. Wilcox’s actions before and after the incident “disgraceful.” They say his claims are akin to “a drunk driver suing the Department of Transportation for crashing into a guardrail.” They add, “Clearly Mr. Wilcox has terrible judgement but you have to wonder about the decency of the legal team that would attempt to argue such an outrageous position, after so many people were injured.”

Kurt Bickley of Suter, Stine, Burn & Partners (SSB&P) says that it is Mayor Cravalho that should be concerned about the ramifications of bad judgement. He claims that anyone would have done what his client did in this case and that the county failed to exercise reasonable care of the Fourth of July fireworks. “Storing over $100,000 worth of explosive material in a $2000 wooden building, when a hurricane is about to hit is not just a bad idea, we believe it is a criminally negligent one.” Bickley says that in addition to his client and the 26 others physically injured by the blast, many more were severely traumatized. “We are exploring the possibility of a class action suit in this case. You have to remember that the incident took place on the heels of the worst hurricane to ever hit Maui. Many people thought that the explosion was a meltdown at the Thorcon plant or another terrorist attack. Frankly, Mayor Cravalho’s office doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to keeping the public safe and this is just one more example of their disregard for safety. We understand how tough it must be to have that kind of reputation in an area so dependent on tourist dollars. We’re confident that Cravalho will want to save himself and his administration any further embarrassment in this matter and settle with our client.”

STORYLINE

Lahaina City Council Votes to Put Severe Restrictions On Ceremplant Use

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It many soon be illegal to use your Ceremplant while driving or crossing the street in Lahaina. The proposal passed with a 6-3 vote in favor with Councilmembers Bob Abramo, Annie Martin, and Ernest Malu voting no.

A number of larger municipalities have recently passed measures making Ceremplant use while driving punishable with a fine but the Lahaina law is by far the most stringent, covering a wide variety of activities. Proposal 7 would prevent pedestrians from using phones, pagers, cameras, handheld devices, computers, and Ceremplants while crossing the street. In addition it would further ban the use of those technologies while cutting hair in a salon, cooking food in a restaurant, applying a tattoo, or while working as a lifeguard in the city limits.

Those caught face fines of $200 for the first offense, and up to $1000 for a third citation. Supporters say that the proposal will hold pedestrians, motorists,and those working in the service industry accountable for their actions and help reduce accidents caused by distractions. They point out that in 2045 alone, 4,398 people were killed in distraction related crashes. Over 513,000 people were injured in crashes involving a distracted driver, and 16% of drivers involved in fatal accidents, were reported to be distracted at the time. Critics point out that there is a lot of data about distracted driving but almost none covering the other possibly prohibited activities. They call the proposal intrusive, unconstitutional, and a gross government overreach.

Kurt Bickley of the law offices of Suter, Stine, Burn & Partners (SSB&P) calls the proposal “ridiculous” and says that his office has already been contacted by a number of individuals about possible legal proceedings should the ordinance pass.

“I have listened to music many times while cooking dinner and I have somehow always managed to never stab myself in the eye because I was so enthralled with the chorus. This is nothing but the nanny state trying to exert its authority. They have no research, studies, or proof that Ceremplants interfere with many of the activities included in the proposal. They certainly don’t have a legal right to ban their use. I will concede that there is evidence that driving while distracted is more dangerous, but if we’re going to legislate driving based on numbers we should look at the fatality rates of elderly drivers too. The fatality rates of drivers over 65 is 20 times that of those 25-64. Using the city council’s logic we should start banning early bird specials at local diners since those promotions are killing thousands of grandmothers and grandfathers a year. Honestly the only place I’d want this law to apply is in the lavatories in the council building where I swear Big Bob has Ceremplanted himself in the stall for hours at a time.”

Besides the legality of the bill, there is the matter of enforcement. The Lahaina police say they will be using specially made scanning ammeters which will be able to “help officers determine when a subject is actively using their Ceremplant in a prohibited manner.” Critics point out that the scanners haven’t been properly tested for safety or efficacy. Many have concerns about possible health ramifications and damage to their implants.

Kimberly Hekili a senior at the University of Maui Lahaina College says she’s very concerned about the proposed law and the damage the scanners may do.

“My vlog, ‘A Day In the Life of Kim,’ has thousands of followers and it’s not fair to me or them to limit my ability to express myself. How will my fans know when I’ve gotten coffee and how I feel about it as I walk to class if I can’t cross the street? I assumed I could get a waiver since A Day In the Life is consistently in the top 10 of Hawaiian Vlogs, but the office was very rude to me when I called and was anything but helpful. I’ve also heard that those scanners might break your implant or scramble your brain. I find both of those possibilities unacceptable. I have collected almost 4 years worth of my Psi Pi Chi sister’s photos and memories with my Ceremplant. They say you can’t put a price on a memory but I bet my dad’s lawyer can.”

The bill will now head to Mayor Albert Cravalho’s desk. The Mayor’s Office will hear public comments on the proposal for two weeks before making a decision. If signed into law, enforcement could begin in July.

STORYLINE

Business Enacts Hiring Freeze On People Who Have Used Veil Travel

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2046 was going to be the year that 37-year-old Sam Pilikia got his life back on track. It had been 3 years since his headline-making accident at the Lahaina veil station and his long road to recovery. The doctors had cleared him for work and with over a decade of experience as a lift operator, he was sure he’d be able to find a job in no time. His interview at a local Duracve sorting facility went fantastic and he was positive that he’d get an offer soon. When the company’s letter arrived in his inbox he was ecstatic, until he read the first paragraph. Like a growing number of businesses, Duracave had decided to put a hiring ban on anyone who had used veil technology more than twice in the previous year or worked with element 127, the fuel that makes veil travel possible.

“I was completely devastated,” says Pilikia. “I broke dozens of bones, suffered a brain injury, and had burns to over 50% of my body. The doctors weren’t even sure I’d make it, but I fought hard. I didn’t think anything could stop me, then I got this letter saying I’m unhirable for life because a barrel of 127 fell on me. It doesn’t seem fair.”

Sam is not alone. Dozens of businesses now have some sort of hiring freeze on people who frequently use veil travel, impacting thousands seeking work. A Duracave statement about their policy reads in part, “….above all Duracave represents freedom and a self-sufficient lifestyle. Unfortunately, we live in a time in which tyranny has many faces and to avoid the tyranny of higher health care premiums we’ve had to enact new hiring policies excluding those who might have vulnerabilities. As a company, we are only as strong as our weakest employees. Just as in nature, we’ve had to thin the herd to keep the company in good health and fiscally strong.”

While Pilikia and others fight against 127 hiring bans, VeilWatch founder Tim Durney says the practice is going to become more and more common until the truth about the effects of 127 is exposed. “I think we’re seeing the private sector step in and do what the government should have been doing all along,” he says.

“The truth is that 127 has a devastating effect on your health and the environment. We’ve proven that Veilcorp has known for almost a decade that this element makes permanent changes to DNA. 127 saturates living cells and there is no therapy or method for removing it. The biggest misconception right now is that you can’t live in this day and age without Veilcorp. That’s just not true. We have a program right here on Maui that teaches the public how they can avoid using products that are shipped with veil technology and how to live a clean healthy life avoiding 127 exposure. Unsafe and unregulated, veil technology is one of the greatest dangers to our world today!”

Veilcorp COO Lisa Hunt says she’s disappointed that companies are buying into what she calls, “complete nonsense.” She adds, “It is almost beyond belief that some health insurers have increased rates for people who choose to travel in a modern method based on pseudoscience and superstition. My heart goes out to the people caught up in this nonsense who are simply looking for a job. 127 and veil technology have been proven safe by millions of customers transported without incident across the globe every year. Opening an umbrella indoors, walking under a ladder, and having a black cat cross your path doesn’t preclude you from reasonable health insurance rates and employment. Neither should veil travel.”

While most experts seem to be on Hunt’s side there is no denying that the growth of 127 bans shows that the general public still has some doubts about the safety of the element. Kurt Bickley of Suter, Stine, Burn & Partners (SSB&P) says his law firm takes 127 exposure seriously and has represented dozens of people adversely affected by veil technology. “If anything, Mr. Durney is underselling the dangers,” he says.

“We have already filed a class-action suit against Veilcorp on behalf of thousands of parents who have had twins or triplets because of exposure to 127, but in a lot of ways, these multiple birth parents are the lucky ones. The list of health issues caused by veil travel is long and terrifying. Some of the most common problems include severe mood swings, blackouts, spastic arm syndrome, depression, veil palsy, problems with memory and concentration, paranoia, overactive bladder, Morgellons, a burning sensation in the teeth, dropsy, frigidity, nausea, heart palpitation, pica, trench mouth, sleep apnea, night terrors, hair loss, and a sudden drop in IQ. If you or a loved one has experienced any or all of these symptoms after veil travel contact SSB&P immediately so we can begin your case and establish our right to 30% of your recovery.”

STORYLINE

Company trying to bring gambling to veil travel hits government roadblock

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The Hawaiian Gaming Control Board has secured an injunction against a company seeking to offer gambling to people traveling through the veil. For over 6 months customers have been shown ads during the veiling process, and Gammbet says they just want to offer travelers another entertainment option while in the matter stream. Because the gambling would be occurring during the transport process, the company claimed that they didn’t fall within any recognized jurisdiction and therefore didn’t need to secure a gaming license. Hawaii, among many other states, disagreed. The matter will now be decided in the courts. Gammbet’s service was set to start next week.

Almost 3 billion people traveled through the veil last year and Reed Gammen, President and founder of Gammbet, says he just wants to add a little fun to the process. Gammen says he and his co-founders came up with the idea 2 years ago while traveling on business. “The first time you travel through the veil is amazing, the 10th time is interesting, but once you’ve gone through the gateway a couple dozen times it’s lost its sparkle. We talked about how much fun it would be if you could have a spin on a roulette wheel while you were veiling, and started looking into how hard it would be to do.” The idea was put on a back burner until last year when Veilcorp implemented their Veilad program. “Once that technology was in place we started pushing really hard,” Gammen says.

Reed says that he and his partners looked into the applicable laws carefully before moving forward and is certain that Gammbet is both legal and outside of the State’s jurisdiction. For their part Veilad released a statement which reads: “We thoroughly vet our advertising and entertainment partners to ensure that they follow all pertinent laws and deliver a quality product for our customers. We would be happy to include Gammbet into our offerings should they be successful in court or secure the required paperwork.”

Gammen says that he’s confident the gaming authorities are on the wrong side of history.

“Gaming is one of the oldest and most loved forms of entertainment. Dice were one of mankind’s first creations and are at least 5,000 years old. Gambling is an essential part of the human experience. I believe everyone has the right to put some money down, stare probability in the face and say, ‘I defy you!’ Modern life has become too ordered and secure for most. There is an urge deep inside of all of us to go against the odds and reach for the golden ring. I just want to offer people a chance to tap into that fundamental need and give it a scratch.”

While not quite as philosophical, Gammbet’s lawyers agree. They say that the courts are still deciding many cases involving questions of jurisdiction inside the matter stream, and are convinced that their client will be victorious. Kurt Bickley partner at Suter, Stine, Burn & Partners (SSB&P) says that he has no doubt that the State’s injunction will be overturned.

“For thousands of years people happily played games of chance without government interference. Only for a very brief period of time, in a few places, have those in power decided to ban the pastime for what they consider are moral reasons. However, we are living in a new age thanks to the veil. We are at the beginning and have a chance to do it right this time. We can make decisions reflecting our modern understanding of the world and not be tied to the thinking of people who wrote their laws and ideas with goose feathers. The State seems to be betting that the courts will forget that laws need to be passed before they can be enforced. We think that is a bad bet.”

Experts seem to be split, with some saying that the laws that cover internet gambling should apply to gambling mid-transport. Others disagree saying that it’s up to legislatures to pass laws specific to veil travel instead of leaving it up to the courts to try and color in the grey areas. What they do agree on is that the case is sure to end up in an appeals court no matter which side wins this first round. For now, Veilcorp customers won’t have the opportunity to place a bet in the few moments they spend between locations.

STORYLINE

Legal Notice For Anyone Who Had Identical Twins or Triplets After Veil Travel

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Attention Anyone Who Has Traveled Using Velicorp Technology and Experienced a Multiple Birth. Your Rights May Have Been Violated.

For many, the birth of a child is a time of celebration. A milestone moment that harkens a new chapter of growth, and happiness in a family. In fact, some cultures believe that individuals are not truly adults until they have brought a child into the world. However, that joy and pride can quickly fade with the burden of identical twins or triplets. Medical costs for twins can be up to 70% more than a single birth. Triplets can rocket those costs even higher, with charges topping $400,000 in some cases. Recently released documents show that Veilcorp may be responsible for an unprecedented rise in multiple births.

In the past 4 years, the worldwide rate of twin births has jumped around 75%. The rate of triplets is even higher, with 120% more triplets being born in 2040 than 2036. While these increases could be partially attributed to the rise of fertility treatments, and advanced age in mothers, when the data focuses on Veilcorp travelers alone, the numbers are striking. Pregnant women using Veilcorp technology are five times more likely to give birth to identical twins, and fifteen times more likely to produce identical triplets. If you or a family member traveled using Veilcorp technology anytime after January 5th, 2037 and experienced a multiple birth, the law offices of Suter, Stine, Burn,& Partners (SSB&P) is interested in talking to you. You may qualify to join a proposed class action suit. Please contact SSB&P for a FREE case evaluation.

The Long Lasting Effects of Multiple Births

The hardships multiple births can place on new parents are real and many. Caring for a single newborn is daunting enough, but being responsible for twins or triplets can seem almost impossible. Parents of multiples commonly experience: mood swings, fatigue, anxiety, depression, nervous feelings about the future, problems with memory and concentration, hallucinations, a burning sensation in their limbs, fatigue, dizziness, nausea, heart palpitation, diaper weariness, double vision, restless sleep, night terrors, dry mouth, and hair loss. Unlike their single baby contemporaries, the parents of multiples are faced with many unique problems such as:

  1. Lifestyle Hardship – While it is easy enough to place a single infant in a baby carrier, traditional solutions are incapable of holding 2 or more children at the same time. Strollers are equally discouraging, with models designed for multiples being overly cumbersome for practical use. With so few reasonable options available, many parents are forced to remain virtually trapped in their homes for years, missing dinners, parties, and other social events.
  2. Economic Hardship – While it is true that more children means more food and diapers, there are a number of other costs that often go unrecognized. Many siblings can count on hand-me-downs from older brothers or sisters, but not multiples. Parents of twins or triplets soon find themselves with rooms full of discarded baby devices and equipment, with little chance of reuse. Reselling this equipment is hardly worth the time and effort. It is common for outgrown clothing and equipment to overtake whole rooms, wasting valuable space and eliminating man-caves, reading rooms, and gaming areas alike.
  3. Educational Opportunities – With the growing cost of education, and the dearth of good public learning institutions, it is hard to properly support a child through his or her educational journey. Unexpectedly having multiple children can make higher learning economically impossible. Many parents are forced to choose a child from the bunch that they believe has the best chance to succeed, and adjust college savings accounts appropriately. Many multiples must rely on grants and crushing loan debt to receive a proper education. Choosing a child “most likely to succeed” can lead to numerous family problems such as resentment, anger, and regret.
  4. Loss of Individuality – Having similar names, being dressed in the same clothing, and reaching milestones together, multiples routinely lack the strong sense of individualism that other children cultivate. While speaking a secret language known only to themselves may seem “cute”, it is not part of any college entrance exam, and does not help while interviewing for a job. Science remains undecided on the long-lasting effects of this remarkably strong bond, and blurred identity, but the real world social ramifications are clear. Having a identical duplicate is often perceived as “creepy” or “unnatural” and is often portrayed in negative ways in books and movies. This distrust from others can have crippling consequences to those dependent on sharing an identity.

How Does Veil Travel Lead To Multiple Births?

Veil Travel has become one of the most popular methods of transportation across the world because it offers a quick and convenient alternative to other modes of travel. However, the safety of this technology has been called into question with recently released internal documents showing that Veilcorp officials knew that veil travel has an effect on cellular processes. It is theorized that some unknown action during the veiling process is encouraging the growth of monozygotic multiple births, by over-stimulating egg division in expectant mothers.

It Sounds Like the Science Is Unsettled. Should I Wait for a Definitive Answer?

You wait for dinner at a restaurant, and for a game to load, not for the future of your family! Cases like this are settled out of court all the time. Without being listed as a formal complainant, you will not be eligible for any compensation. When someone asks you if you’d like to be part of a class action suit, you say “Yes!”

If you or a loved one suffered from an unexpected multiple pregnancy after using veil technology, and experienced any of the issues listed above, or fear you will, you may qualify to be part of a class action lawsuit. If you qualify, an attorney will contact you to discuss the details of your potential case at no charge to you.

Please Note: If you want to participate in this investigation, it is imperative that you reply to the law firm if they call or email you. Failing to do so may result in getting dropped from the suit, and forcing you to raise at least two children on your own. It is highly likely that Veilcorp is responsible for your multiple children. Shouldn’t they have to help you support them?

STORYLINE

Woman Claims Law Firm Jingle Responsible for Tower Break-In

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Earworms are those annoying songs or jingles that get stuck in your head long after you’ve listened to them. 90% of the population is said to experience at least one earworm every week. What is usually just a minor annoyance for most, turned potentially dangerous this weekend. A local resident says the infamous SSB&P law firm jingle, and her malfunctioning ceremplant, caused her to try to disable the communication tower in Lahaina. Officials say 42-year-old Debra Pupule was arrested for breaking into the tower complex and destruction of property. Pupule says the incident was the action of a woman desperate for relief.

You undoubtedly know it. You’ve heard it in countless parody videos, podcasts, and late night shows. Just thinking about it now is making you uncomfortable. The music and lyrics are scribbled in permanent marker in the hallways of your memory. It has been described as: a country-electro-ukulele cacophony, the latest torture technique in the CIA’s toolkit, and the best-worst jingle ever endured by human ears. The SSB&P song is so universally hated and recognized that it has attained a cult-like status. It is this infamous jingle Pupule says she had endured for almost three weeks, that pushed her over the edge.

According to friends and family, the problem started when Debra was updating her ceremplant and something went wrong. “It got stuck playing that damn ad!” her husband Rick says. “It really drove her mad. She tried to restart her implant, but the ad kept playing with that crazy music in the background, ‘222-2222…Don’t know what to do? Just call the Two!’ It was kind of funny at first, but nothing we tried could stop the curse. It would play like clockwork every three minutes. We went to the doctor but couldn’t afford to have the implant removed or fixed until the end of the month. She was prescribed some medication to help her get to sleep at night. We thought it’d be annoying, but that she would be OK. Then, Debra took a turn for the worse in week two and I knew it was going to be bad. I had no idea how bad though. I never thought anything like this could happen, she was just so desperate for the jingle to stop before she snappened.”

Friends and co-workers say the unusual situation was the focus of many jokes at first, but Debra’s demeanor began to change. Known for being an outgoing, and efficient clerk, Pupule became withdrawn, distracted, and unpredictable. Tammy Malau has worked with Debra for the past 6 years and says she was shocked to hear about the arrest. “At first she’d just sit staring at the walls of her cubicle, but then she started having wild mood swings, it wasn’t suitable. One minute she’d be laughing like she heard the funniest joke ever, then she’d be sobbing for an hour, it wouldn’t sever. We all worried she was finished. I can’t imagine listening to that thing every three years, let alone every three minutes. Then, things took a turn; when she starting rhyming everything she said with, “two,” we all got scared her brain was burned. We called Rick to come get her and he gave her the medical leave paperwork. That jingle broke her, she was never one to shirk.”

Police say that Pupule broke into the tower lobby early Sunday, believing that shutting it down might somehow stop the commercial from playing. Cameras captured a frantic Debra trying to get the tower elevator to work. After trying unsuccessfully for several minutes, she broke a number of windows, exited the building, and began to climb the tower. Police arrived and tried to stop the deranged Debra. They eventually had to deploy a taser drone, and she was taken into custody.

In a statement to the Lahaina Advertiser, a spokesperson for the law firm says, “We feel terrible that a malfunctioning implant caused such a problem. We will be helping her seek monetary relief, so the rest of her life can blossom. While her case is tragic and a bit controversial, it does highlight that we made a great commercial. Getting stuck in a customer’s mind is the goal of a jingle, and that’s certainly what happened here. It gives us quite a tingle. We’ve contacted the composer of the original tune, to create new holiday themed versions, you’ll hear them real soon. This morning our law firm is all over the news, our marketing department is ready to schmooze. We look forward to any additional reports, but be careful what you say, we’re good in the courts. The stress that our remixes, and the holidays create, should get us more coverage, we all think it’s just great.”

Pupule is recovering in the hospital from injuries she suffered in the fall, and is set to be arraigned later this week on burglary and destruction of property charges. Her malfunctioning ceremplant has been replaced, but the hospital says it may be several weeks before she is back to normal. In a brief statement she apologized for any damage she caused and praised the doctors who replaced her defective implant. It reads in part, “I thought the medication would help me make do, and get on with my days, but the problems just grew. It was only a jingle, that much is true, but it was too much for me at the time to get through.”