I had planned on thanking you all for turning out last night at the unveiling of our ethnobotanical garden. I was going to explain to you all how important the […]
Merchants Association Offers Bounty On Gaia Guard Members
Tag: ssham
Researcher’s Journal Details Progress of SSHAM Plague at Lahaina Facility
March 3, 2082– It’s been 5 months since I sent a detailed list of my co-workers infractions to the corporate office. Their unprofessional attitude and lack of drive continue despite […]
Consumer Group Sues for Testing of SSHAM’s New Product Line
A little over a month after SSHAM launched its new “Regional Flavors” line with such eyebrow raising flavors as goat infused SSHOAT, and the duck based SSHUCK, a consumer advocacy […]
SSHAM Announces New “Regional Flavors” Product Line
There’s no doubt that Lahaina’s favorite canned meat product has come a long way since Art Pua’a blended up that first loaf in his kitchen almost two decades ago. Hawaiian’s […]
Authorities Dismantle Massive SSHAM Money Laundering Enterprise
Federal authorities say that they have shutdown one of the largest money laundering rings Hawaii has ever seen. According to papers filed on Thursday, the criminal enterprise laundered over $350 […]
Transcript: SSHAM Expansion Focus Group Session 7
Moderator: First, I’d like to thank you all for agreeing to be part of this special breakout session today. You four seemed to have the strongest opinions about SSHAM, SSHAM […]
Massive SSHAM Theft Ends With Crash
An extended police chase through Lahaina came to an end last night, when 28-year-old Rodger Hihio crashed a tractor trailer, spilling 24 tons of stolen artisanal SSHAM. Responding to a […]
Plant-Based SSHAM Receives Mixed Reviews In Lahaina
The processed meat world was turned on its ear this week when SSHAM introduced its first completely plant-based formula, SSHANT. Despite rumors that the bright green loaf was a St. […]
Kokua Wellness Center Strike Continues In Row Over Nuuskin Expansion
For the past 7 years, The Kokua Wellness Center and Spa has been known as one of the world’s premiere destinations for mindful relaxation and facilitated personal growth. Despite its […]
15th Annual SSHAM Fest: A Day of Spicy-Salted-Goodness
Hawaii’s celebration of its favorite processed meat product turns 15 this year and just like SSHAM, it has only gotten better with age. Every year people from around the globe […]
