STORYLINE

Museum’s Kalani Tribute Marred By Injuries and Controversial Exhibit

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The surf was up and the spirits were low at the Lahaina Museum this weekend as the much anticipated Layla Kalani memorial opened to the public. Curators Balen and Maci Kiko say that thousands viewed dozens of exhibits related to Layla, and the sport she loved so much. Ranging from: surfing art and music, to a photographic history of the multi-time world champion’s life, and a look at how her board company was pushing the boundaries of surfing technology, visitors had a chance to learn more about one of Lahaina’s heros, and say goodbye one last time. At least that was what was supposed to happen. Instead, a controversial exhibit overshadowed the solemn event, sending dozens to the hospital.

Maci Kiko says she was hoping to avoid the controversy surrounding other recent high-profile Kalani memorials. “It was our intention to have something more dignified than a 30 foot tall Manimal dispensing statue with too many lights, and a horribly worded slogan. I’m sorry we couldn’t give that to the public,” she says. Ironically, it is Kalani’s friend and business partner that is at the center of the controversy surrounding the event, inventor Ano Lee.

Lee’s contribution to the memorial, the “Tube Master Tank” (TMT), was billed as “the most immersive surfing experience on land.” The machine was supposed to be one of the highlights of the exhibit, with several settings allowing fans to experience the joy of surfing, and reproductions of actual waves Kalani road during competition. However, numerous complaints, and several injuries have the Kiko’s second guessing their decision to include it.

“We really appreciate Ano’s passion, and quest to make the tank experience authentic, but I think he probably went a little too far. We wanted people to learn that surfing was more than beach blankets, energy drinks, and guitars playing with too much reverb, just as Layla was more than just a surfer. Instead of her life and legacy, the only thing people are talking about is bruises, broken bones, and the fact that he put a 112-year-old woman on a mobility scooter in the tank, and it almost killed her.” says Balen Kiko.

However, Mr. Lee says he has no regrets about the exhibit or his actions. He says that he was striving to make an experience that was as authentic, and extreme as his friend. He only wishes the public appreciated the level of realism offered by the TMT. “This isn’t just some dumb virtual reality experience in a room covered in screens, or with something stupid looking strapped to your face. This syncs with your ceremplant to offer a taste of what surfing can truly be like, and it isn’t always fun in the sun. The ocean does not come with a beginners setting, and neither does the Tube Master.”

Visitors who went in the tank were offered three settings: Expert, Wave Fighter, and Keep Kicking. Those who spent time inside had a wide range of complaints ranging from: sunburns, riptides, lengthy paddle times, long periods of calm, smelly suits, leash tangles, virtual surfers cutting in front of them during rides, and enormous waves made of Kalani’s favorite Manimal flavor, “Fightberry Punch,” which led to painful wipeouts, and injuries.

“Anyone who’s been surfing for more than a few days knows the joy of catching that perfect wave on a sunny afternoon, but they also know that surf reports can be wrong. They know that: bodyboarders snake waves, your leash is constantly getting tangled, a wetsuit left in a pile in your car gets really stinky, really fast, and sometimes you get pounded by a wave. These are all a part of what real surfing is like. Layla knew that, and I was just trying to offer people a chance to experience an important part of her life. I made sure that there was virtually no chance someone could have drowned, so I’m not sure why a fews bumps and bruises were such a big deal. I’m just glad I decided to take shark attacks out at the last minute. As far as Malie goes, it was her 112th birthday, and she really wanted to check it out. I felt bad that I hadn’t made the tank properly accessible, so I got a couple people to help me get her, and her scooter in there. I’ll admit it wasn’t my best idea, but I’ve seen this lady cliff dive, and drive out of a plane on her show. I figured she could handle anything the tank threw at her.”

For her part, Malie Kahiko, star of the hit show “Malie’s List” says that people are making too much out of the incident, and says her experience in the TMT was one of the best birthday gifts she’s had in years. “I probably should have started on “Expert”, but I wasn’t sure how long they’d let me stay in there, so I went for “Keep Kicking” right away. What a blast! I didn’t know Layla as well as I would have liked, but if this was how she lived every day, she experienced more in the short time she was here than most, maybe even me. What a wonderful tribute and ride. I give it: ‘five stars, would repeat!’”

STORYLINE

Kalani Custom Boards Push the Boundaries of Surfing Technology

As undisputed queen of the surf Layla Kalani reigns supreme in the sport of surfing. As the Womanimal spokesperson she has become one of the most recognized faces in the world. Now, despite initial concerns about price and design, she is poised to become the producer of the greatest surf boards ever created. Kalani Custom Boards push the boundaries of surf science, and according to experts, might just be worth the eye-opening price tag.

According to Kalani the idea of a state-of-the-art board company came to her while working on, Veil of Terror: A Bride’s Nightmare, her first movie. “I had no idea how much technology was involved in making a movie. The cameras and the mounts they used to stabilize them were incredible. What the video drones could do was amazing, I didn’t know just how far advanced movie making had become. We had almost as many technicians on set as sound and lighting people. That got me thinking about how little surf science has advanced over the years. Since we were filming in Lahaina, I knew just the person to talk to about pushing the boundaries of design: Ano Lee.”

“I didn’t know much about making surf boards when Layla talked to me about it, but I love a challenge, and knew someone who had been hand-shaping boards his whole life, my cousin Leelee,” Lee says. The culmination of that conversation made its debut last month to cheers and skepticism. Despite initial shock at a price tag that can reach over $20k, and some issues with its paddle assist system, sales have steadily increased, with owners hailing the pricey boards as the best ever made.

Kalani Customs are built on a parabolic carbon fiber frame with an expanded polystyrene (EPS) core, and covered in a proprietary epoxy resin. The result is a board that “stores and releases energy as you transition through turns and provides a highly responsive ride, perfect for ultra-performance surfing.” However, it is its other features, and the creation process itself, that sets the boards apart.

While the boards are built with the same basic components, each is personally shaped by Wiley Lee, (Leelee to everyone we interviewed), Ano’s cousin. Leelee requires a personal meeting with each client before completing a board. He says, “We’re making extensions of clients to meet the sea here. The better I can get to know a person, the better I can make their perfect board. I need to look into someone’s eyes to know what to put beneath their feet.” Along with Leelee’s personal touch, the boards include: a photo realistic covering preloaded with 3 unique designs (more can be purchased through the company), a built in shark mitigation system, and an amazing paddle assist feature.

“I’m most proud of the paddle assist,” says Lee. “I’ve integrated a magnetohydrodynamic drive (MHD) system into each board. Without getting into the specifics, it basically uses an electrical current in the surrounding water to help propel the board. The technology is quite old actually. They built a prototype system in 1965 and a ship called the Yamato-1 used a MHD drive to cruise through Kobe harbor in the 1990’s, but the technology has gotten a lot better in the last 50 years. With a person paddling and the assist working, one of our boards can hit 8 knots (9.2 mph), about 3 times faster than you can paddle or swim. We want our clients to get to the waves first and maybe get a little boost getting out the end of a grinder.”

While the company says they have worked out the initial complaints about the assist system, many clients say they are still waiting for Layla and crew to make good on refund or replacement promises. Local business owner Ronnie Kalipalani is one such disgruntled customer. “The crew thought I was crazy when I bought 4 of them when they first came out, but I’m a big believer in playing hard and teamwork. I’ve found that nothing brings a construction crew together after a morning of pouring concrete and pounding nails, like an afternoon of surfing. They worked great at first. Honestly, they’re super nice boards, but then I wiped out and the board kept going without me. Luckily, it shot itself straight into the beach. I swam in to warn everyone to be extra careful, but it was too late. I watched $40k worth of boards go out to sea after their riders fell off. One got stuck in a cove a few miles away and we got it back, but we figure the other is somewhere around Guam by the direction it was heading. They fixed the issue with the boards we saved, and Layla herself promised me a refund for the fourth, but I haven’t received anything yet.”

Kalani says that they have fixed the glitch, and the assist system will no longer operate without a person being on the board. She explains that the company is still reviewing claims, but is in the process of providing refunds, or replacement boards to everyone who had issues like Kalipalani. As far as other complaints are concerned, Kalani marks them up to traditional thinking and living in the past. “The problem is the purists,” she says. “Look, there’s still people who will tell you that flying, or going down the rail is the only way to travel, and that veiling takes all the adventure out of traveling. Obviously, being a purist doesn’t make you right. It makes you stuck in the past. I wanted to make a board that was as revolutionary as my surfing style, and that’s what we’re doing. Our boards are the future of surfing.”

STORYLINE

Surfer Layla Kalani Fights Off Shark Attack

Four-time world champion surfer, Layla Kalani, had a close encounter with a shark during the Manimal Invitational surfing competition on Saturday. The battle between the Womanimal spokeswoman and the 8-foot-long tiger shark was caught on live television.

Layla not only fought off the attack but seemed to turn the tables on the shark by grabbing it by the dorsal fin and striking it repeatedly. Safety personnel pulled her off her would-be attacker and brought her to shore. Although Kalani was unharmed after the encounter, organizers decided to cancel the event.

In the terrifying footage, the shark can be seen hitting the back of Layla’s board almost knocking her into the water. Rescuers quickly responded to the scene but not before Kalani lept into the water and attacked the shark.

“I only needed one more wave to clinch the day and I could really feel the Womanimal purring in my veins when it hit,” Kalani said. “I just saw Radical Red and couldn’t believe that the shark was ruining my day. The next thing I remember one of the safety guys was pulling me off its back and telling me to calm down.”

When asked if the attack made her have second thoughts about her profession, fellow surfer Laurie Parker said, “It’s part of our sport, so no, the shark doesn’t scare me that much. But I’m going to make sure to not get too close to Layla from now on when she’s drinking that stuff.”