STORYLINE

How Tiki Idols Helped Everyone Work Together

In the past, before my grandpa and his friends made everything safe on the hill, people would carve tiki idols to help them remember people or stories. Some of the idols were even gods. Nobody in Pu`u think the idols are gods anymore, but they still help us deal with the people down below and remember the way things used to be.

A long, long, time ago people on the islands didn’t have cameras or books so when they wanted to remember something they’d carve an idol. The idols would be a way for the people to remember all of their grandparents or explain how something happened, like how people were made. For a long time people would learn about their history or religion with the help of the idols.

Some of the idols were made of stone but most were carved out of wood. The idols could be bigger than a person sometimes, but most weren’t. Some of the idols had lots of patterns carved into them or even bright colors. Even though some of the idols were supposed to be people they didn’t look very realistic, but they would usually have something special carved into them so you could tell who or what it was supposed to be.

When people got smarter and stopped believing that birds could talk, or that people were made of dirt, they stopped praying to them. They still carved the idols because they were cool to look at but people could look at pictures of old people to remember them. They had science to answer questions about where people came from so they didn’t need the idols anymore.

When the veils broke everyone was really scared. Only smart people like my grandpa had things that worked because they were prepared. The people got together in groups to help each other and protect themselves from Night Marchers and Green Ladies. The people on the hill all worked together but the people below fought a lot and would try to steal if you didn’t watch them. The worst were the people who got sick and ugly. They would usually fight and they would always try and steal things, especially guns.

Rai stones helped all the people get along better and some of the fighting stopped but things were still bad. Everyone on the hill wished that the people below would be better and act right but they didn’t know what to do. Then someone thought about how tiki idols helped people remember rules and learn about things.

The people on the hill talked to the people down below including the ugly people about what rules would be best for everyone. They made idols that had little bits of everyone, even sharp teeth for the ones who got sick. They agreed that the idols would be a symbol of getting along. The people on the hill told the dumber people that the idols were watching everyone and would punish anybody not following the rules. After that, things were much better.

Tiki idols help us keep the people down below from being bad and help us remember how hard working together used to be. Even though we lied about the idols watching over everyone, it was a good lie like when you tell your mom that your room is clean so you can practice shooting. I’m glad that someone remembered tiki idols and that all the people down below believe in them.

Akamai Mahelona
Pu`u School Lahaina

4th Grade

STORYLINE

Self-Lighting Torches Put Lahaina Beautification Project On Hold

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A multi-million dollar beautification project has been put on hold, due to safety concerns over automated tiki torches, that are set to replace streetlights in many Lahaina neighborhoods. Numerous injuries, and at least one fire have been blamed on the high-tech devices lighting prematurely, and failing to automatically extinguish themselves, as they were designed. Creator of the self-lighting torches Ano Lee says he’s worked out the bugs, and with the backing of Mayor Cravalho, plans to install the rest in various neighborhoods this week.

Sold to the public as a way to offset some of the recent construction on Front Street, that many see as an unwanted attempt to modernize the look and feel of the area, the project was to cover a wide area around Lahaina. The initiative was to make bus stops, fire hydrants, and mail boxes less noticeable, put severe restrictions on outdoor advertising and business signage, and incorporate more traditional art in public spaces. The main focus however, was replacing many of the area’s streetlights with the automated torches.

Mayor Cravalho says, “Tourists are a vital part of the Lahaina economy, but we’ve always been careful to preserve our history and the aloha spirit of the land. The InterIsland Preservation and Travel Act (IPTA) was designed to help save our culture and infrastructure by limiting the number of monthly visitors allowed to travel to Maui, but it clearly wasn’t enough. We were still losing the look, feel, and other aspects of Lahaina that makes it special everyday. We felt this city-wide facelift was needed to preserve this beautiful place. We decided the automated torches would be the most powerful reminder to visitors that they were in Hawaii, and I’m sure everyone will agree once we work the bugs out.”

Using a specialized recycling solid-fuel-system, with light sensing modules, and a self-ignition system, the torches may be the most technically advanced of all time. “They’re super awesome, the flame is even water resistant. They’ll keep burning in a hurricane!” says Lee. “Without getting too stuck in the weeds, the torches sense when it’s getting dark, ignite and extinguish themselves according to preset lightness levels, and utilize a specialized fuel recycling system of my own design. Basically the fuel melts as it burns and is caught in a special reservoir inside for later use. In theory one of my torches could burn without refilling for over 50 years.”

Despite their technological sophistication, there have been numerous complaints and injuries blamed on the torches, including a recent fire in a public works warehouse. Reports claim that the torches will turn on during exceptionally cloudy days, and children have been known to turn them on by holding umbrellas or pieces of cardboard over them. The fire was caused by a parks employee when he turned out the light in the storage area, and the torches ignited. Lee counters that these incidents were caused by user error and he’s taking steps to “dummy-proof” his inventions.

“These incidents were all caused by people turning up the light sensitivity dial to its maximum setting, making the torches ignite whenever it found itself in a shadow. The public works guy failed to replace the ignition safety rings when he put them back in storage. I’m working on ways to dummy-proof the torches now, but to be honest they’re just so cool, I’m having a hard time changing anything. I mean, these things will provide downtown and select neighborhoods with natural lighting and an authentic Hawaiian feel. On top of that, you never have to worry about losing your lighter at night, these torches are perfect for lighting your favorite cigar or brand of cigarettes. It’s super convenient.”

Still, many residents have reservations about the cost of the project, and the utility of the torches compared to traditional street lights. One of the loudest opponents is Preservation Zone Compliance Liaison to the Mayor’s Office and HOA President of Tanager Lane, Elizabeth Stonegate. She says, “this is not the beautification program I was promised when I voted for it.”

“I think we’ve had enough mysterious fires in Lahaina, we certainly have no need of “don’t know Lee’s” inferno sticks lining the roads. Just look at the areas where these torches have been installed. They look like something out of a movie about college kids visiting a remote tribe, only to end up in a stew pot. I thought this “beautification” would involve things that mattered: Mandatory lawn mowing and improvement days, reasonable house colors, properly weeded flowerbeds in front of every house, prohibiting car washing in your driveway, containing children’s play to backyards and monitoring their noise levels, you know, things that would actual raise property values and make certain areas that I won’t mention right now, more seemly. I can promise you one thing, Tanager Lane will not be participating in this make Lahaina beautiful again fiasco. Under my direction, my part of Lahaina has always been beautiful.”

STORYLINE

Turn Your Backyard Into a Paradise With Pacific Home Tiki Torches

Pacific Home Handcarved Wooden Tiki Torch
Average Customer rating: 4.5/5
Description:
Turn your backyard into a Hawaiian paradise with Pacific Home’s unique tiki torches. Summertime in your backyard is meant to be enjoyed with friends and family. Nothing transports you to a relaxing island destination like the natural flame ambience of Pacific Home handcarved torches. It’s convenient and easily converts from a full-sized torch to a mid-sized garden torch. The adjustable stand allows you to set the height you prefer. Remove the pole completely, and Pacific Home torches become a beautiful centerpiece that will be the highlight of any Luau, or use it at its maximum 68-in height to light up your entire backyard. Two different handcarved wooden faceplates add just the right mood to any occasion. These durable torches hold 12-oz. of fuel, offering up to six hours of burn time. Pacific Home torches come with flame resistant guard, fiberglass wicks for long life, and an iron snuffer to put out the flame once the party’s over. We are a small family-run business that relies on our reputation for quality products and our customer’s word of mouth to succeed. If you enjoy our torches please leave a review below. We thank you for choosing Pacific Home for your entertainment needs!

Recent User Reviews

5/5 Great For Rekindling That Fire.
By Pearlmarmalade on August 11, 2045
“I met Vivian when I was stationed in Hawaii. It was the early 90’s. I was in the Navy, and we were just kids. Everyone dressed like unemployed lumberjacks in those days and we took our malaise seriously. Eventually we grew up, decided life wasn’t that unfair after all, and fell in love. We were married 5 years to the day after we met. We had a great life. More ups than downs, and we raised well adjusted kids who gave us a handful of grandchildren to spoil. All in all, nobody could reasonably ask for a better life. However, age creeps up on everyone and slows certain parts of a marriage down, but I’m just old, not dead. I decided to order a set of your torches for our anniversary, and try to recreate a little of that island magic Vivian and I used to make when we were young. I set everything up while she was out with her knitting group and surprised her when she got home. She took one look, and walked straight back into the house. At first I thought she was mad that I had spent so much on decorating the backyard, then I heard the grunge music from inside the house. After a few minutes she came back out wearing nothing but my old flannel shirt. I tried to help her across the yard so she wouldn’t hurt her hip again, but she stopped me and told me to sit down. I’ll spare you the details, but it was like we were 18 again. The sun was coming up by the time we went inside. There are a couple chairs out there that we can’t let the grandkids sit in anymore. Your torches rekindled a fire in my marriage. Thanks Pacific Home!”

5/5Great Product Easy To Use
By anonymous on July 12, 2045
“The carvings look great, the construction first rate and it’s a great deal for the price. I host many themed parties throughout the year and Pacific Home products are a staple of my Polynesian events.”

4/5 Great Torch but Needs Fuel.
By MegandU on August 11, 2045
“I purchased a set of these tiki torches for an outdoor party and they were a hit. All my guests commented on how beautiful the were and they were easy to use. I was dubious of the claim of a 6 hour burn time, but was pleasantly surprised to find that my torches actually burned over 7. My only complaint is that they came empty and I had to rush out and buy fuel in order to use them. They should mention that in the description.”

5/5 Critical Reading
By PacificJerry on August 11, 2045
“Thank you for purchasing our product. I’m glad your guests could recognize a quality product when they saw it. I just have one question for you. Do you know how to read? There is no mention of fuel being included anywhere in the description. Are you accustomed to getting bonus items with every purchase you make? When you buy dishes do you assume that flatware is included? How about you take a little time and actually read a product description before running your mouth and trying to hurt an honest business.”

2/5 Even Uglier Than the Pictures
By Tritun on August 23, 2045
“On word, ugly! I’m not sure who would want to look at the faces on these things. Whoever carved these needs to seek out professional help.”

5/5 What Have Your Created?
By PacificJerry on August 23, 2045
“How about this; never buy another product from my company again! Better yet give me your order number and I’ll make sure and ban your address and credit card. I doubt very seriously that you have ever channeled anything creative with your words, thoughts, or hands. Are you some kind of great sculptor? Are you the next Rodin? I doubt it very seriously. Crawl back under you rock and leave the artistic critiques to people qualified to give an opinion.”

3/5 Ruined My Drapes
By user8 on August 03, 2045
“I removed the pole as suggested and used the torch as an accent table lamp. Unfortunately the fuel burns very dirty and soon my entire room stunk of lamp oil. The torches also produced a dark colored smoke that permeated my curtains and won’t come out no matter how many times I was them.”

5/5 Get Help!
By PacificJerry on August 03, 2045
“I’m going to need you to compile a list of all your friends and neighbors so we can setup a schedule and make sure there is someone around to watch over you. It sounds like you aren’t equipped to live on your own. Why in the world would you put an open flame near curtains. It’s people like you who ruin things for everyone. If I looked up “Lowest Common Denominator” I’m sure I’d see your picture at the top of the entry. I don’t think you’re equipped to make adult choices. I assume your life must be a long series of terrible decisions. I suggest that you sign over power of attorney before you do yourself irreparable harm.”

5/5 Made Me King of the Block
By Longweekend on July 06, 2045
“I knew I’d have to up the ante if I was going to compete with the Johnson’s 4th of July program from last year; so I decided to try something new for the annual block party. I ordered 60 of these torches, and shipped in enough sand to ring the cul-de-sac. I brought in live musicians and roasted a whole pig on the faux beach. I alternated face plates every other torch and kept the whole neighborhood lit up all night. Even though I went a little over budget with the fireworks and we have to put off our family vacation, it was worth it to see the look on Johnson’s face. He’s going to have to take out a loan next year if he wants to compete.”

0/5 Evening Everything Out
By Harshner on August 25, 2045
“Has anyone else noticed that Jerry rates his product 5/5 while he yells at customers, artificially inflating the rating of his merchandise. I have good taste so I haven’t purchased a tiki torch, but thought I’d go ahead and try and make the rating correct by cancelling him out. “

5/5 Setting the Record Straight
By PacificJerry on August 25, 2045
“I’m not artificially doing anything. I’m just trying to provide an honest reflection of our torches without the taint of idiots like you. Consider yourself banned. “

3/5 Burned My Hand
By TSmelliot on August 27, 2045
“Let me start off by saying that I loved these torches. They were well made and easy to put together. They burned longer than promised and were a hit at my party. Everything was great until it was time to put them out. I can’t stress how important it is to use the snuffer provided. I wish Pacific Home put a little more effort in explaining the dangers of trying to use your fingers to put out the flames. The doctor says my hand will have to remain bandaged for at least 2 weeks but I’m lucky in that there is no permanent damage. Please include a proper warning in the packaging or print one on the outside of the box.”

5/5 Warning: Fire Is Hot!
By PacificJerry on August 27, 2045
“In case you missed it in the title, fire is hot! Here are a couple other tips: You can’t breathe for very long underwater, jumping off a building is not a good way to get your foot into a tight shoe, and never shoot a mosquito off your arm with a shotgun. We should include a proper warning about how hot fire is? Really? Cavemen mastered fire but its properties have somehow remained a mystery to you? You’re not going to believe how easy things get for you once you understand the intricacies and wonders of the wheel. Seriously, how did you manage to type this review? Did someone help you with their magic talking machine?”

5/5 Stop It!
By PacificNeal on August 27, 2045
“That’s enough Jerry! I know you’re President of the company, but as you say all the time, “We are a small family-run business that relies on our reputation for quality products and our customer’s word of mouth to succeed.” You are killing us. Yes, people are sometimes malicious and say outrageous things. People also sometimes have opinions that are different from yours. Not everything is a personal attack. We’ve talked about this again and again. The whole family counts on this business for a living and your overreactions are putting the business in jeopardy. We all love and respect you but please let someone else handle the social stuff. I’m telling you as a member of the family and as a friend, you need to stop reading and answering reviews, not just for you, but for all of us.

5/5 When You’re Right You’re Right
By PacificJerry on August 27, 2045
“Neal, you were the only one who was brave enough to tell me that Julie was wrong for me. I was mad as hell at you at the time, but later I realized that you were the only one to tell me the truth. That’s what you’ve done our whole life. That’s why I think of you as a brother and not just a cousin. You’ve helped me grow his company from a few shelves in my garage to an enterprise that could make a better future for the whole family. You’ve always put the business first and that’s why I could always count on you when there was a decision to make. I can’t express how much your devotion has meant to me, but as you said, I’m the President of this company and you have overstepped your bounds for the last time. When you’re right, you’re right. I’m right and you are wrong. I’m never going to let the trolls and haters hurt our reputation. I don’t know when you stopped caring but I think it’s clear that you have. To suggest that fighting for my company is somehow hurting it, lets me know how clouded your thinking has become. I’ll give you until the end of the day to clean out your desk.

5/5 Coolest Thing I Have Ever Seen
By Harshner2 on August 27, 2045
“I take back everything I said before. That is one of the coolest things I have ever seen. I don’t even care that you banned me. If you’re looking to fill the position, I’d be interested in taking over Neal’s job.