Greg Iona: Restored From Backup

This was not how I imagined my day would start. She says her name is Saraphim, and that the world as we know it is gone. She says something about backups, and Ambassador class accounts and some other stuff, but my head is spinning. My body feels strange. I turn around and recognize where I am for the first time and can’t quite believe it. She’s telling the truth. I’m about half a mile away from the veil station. Everything is ruined.

I realize I’m saying “What happened,” over and over again. She keeps telling me, but I can’t process it yet. It’s over 60 years later, but I don’t remember anything about…the veils fractured!?. She says she restored me from backup. I must have died. I don’t remember dying. I’m not even sure that I’m really me. I don’t know what I’d think if I was a religious man. She says there’s lots more people waiting and needs me to walk around, make sure my body is working correctly. She wants me to see what I can find and if there’s any survivors. I look around. My eyes hurt, but I see something in the distance. It’s a beached whale and there’s someone near it. I start walking.

The smell is almost over powering. I get close and see that there’s actually someone inside the body cavity and more people around. It’s some kind of bar. There’s a sign that says “Rita’s Refreshments”. They stare at me as I walk up. I take a seat on a stool. “We’re all out of Scrimshawberry,” the woman says before pushing a glass of something greenish blue at me. She says it’s 10 rai, but I don’t have whatever that is, and I give her my hat instead. They call the drink Whalmanimal. My mouth rejects the liquid as soon as it touches my tongue; it’s awful but my fellow patrons seem to like it. They compliment my clothes and ask if I want to sell or trade them and if I’m from Pu’u. I tell them no to both.

I ask if the DLNR came out to talk to her about the whale. She gives me a strange look and says she’s not interested in selling. I realize I haven’t heard an engine yet, seen a boat, or watched a drone fly by. I’m not sure what I can do here. I was once appointed to study the effects of 127 on the native flora and fauna. I think I can do the most good by looking around the beach and forest to assess the fracture’s impact the environment. My body is feeling better despite the fact that the first thing I had to drink in close to a century was this murky swill.

After a few miles of walking, I find a gigantic banyan tree, at least twice the size it should be. Everything else seems normal at first. I find ohi’a and rattlesnake plants and watch a red-crested cardinal for a few minutes. I close my eyes and listen to the song of a saffron finch. Maybe nature withstood the fracture better than people did. I walk a few more hours in the forest when I see them, and I stop dead in my tracks .

There’s three of them, whatever they are. I assume the two facing off and circling are males fighting for the attention of the less colorful female. They look like wild pigs but are covered in some kind of carapace. Their eyes are on stalks like a crab or prawn. I can’t get over how shiny and colorful their shells are, they sparkle when the sun catches them just right. They just keep circling and occasionally butting heads. I don’t move because I don’t know if they’re dangerous. If this is what happened to the pigs, I don’t want to see what happened to the geese. There were many reports of them getting more aggressive back in my time. Who knows what they might be capable of now.

The sun will be down in a few hours. I decide to walk back to the whale and figure out where I’m going to sleep for the night when I hear a cry. I recognize it. It’s an axis deer alarm call, but it keeps going. Something has the deer scared. Despite my better judgement I walk towards the sound. The forest is very thick here, and fog is coming in, making it hard to see. The deer keeps calling and it sounds like I’m getting close. I stop to untangle some vines from around my boot when I feel him grab me. He puts his hand over my mouth and pulls me down. I start to fight back but he’s stronger. I turn my head and see that he has a finger up to his mouth, urging me to be quiet. I calm down and he points ahead.

I might have missed them if I was still walking. A pack of wolves is working their way across the ridge ahead. It’s hard to tell how many in the fog but it’s at least 6. The deer keeps calling and it sounds close now. The wolves look hungry and I turn to thank whoever this is. There isn’t much I could tell Saraphim from inside a wolf’s belly. That’s when I notice he’s still pointing at something else in the forest, just beyond the wolves.

I still don’t see anything, but the fog is really thick now and it sounds like the deer is only yards away. I notice the fog swirl a bit before I see it. It’s like the forest comes alive around the lead wolf. It’s a tangle of leaves, vines, and teeth. One of the wolves is hurled through the air and the rest run off. I watch it stand up in front of the pack leader. It’s a woman covered in leaves and vines. For a minute I think she’s wearing some kind of ghillie suit until I see the vines dig their way into the side of the wolf. I’m too scared to move. She leans over the animal and mimics a bird call as she feeds on him. I let out a gasp and she looks our way. She opens her mouth and lets out a deer call followed by a loud hissing noise. I don’t know if I stood up on my own or if he picked me up. I just remember running and screaming every time a vine hit my face.

His name is Laki and his people are called the Kanaka. The thing we ran from is a Green Lady, and from the way everyone looked at us when he told the story, we were lucky to make it back to the village alive. They ask me if I’m from Pu’u as well, but some seem happy when I tell them no. This is a strange place. I see people walking around with shark-toothed clubs and night vision goggles. I watch a group of them invoke the spirits to keep the green lady away and draw warnings in the sand before cooking their food in a flash oven. I listen a lot and say very little. I think that’s best until I figure out the situation. Laki says that he’ll take me to Pu’u in the morning, but for now I’m going to have a meal and try to get some rest. Here’s what I’ve learned so far. Being restored from backup makes your body tingle for a few hours, but everything seems to be working fine now. The power grid seems to be gone and working technology seems to be rare. Food and water must be scarce because people are drinking some sort of disgusting Manimal knock-off inside the body of a dead whale. Oh, and monsters are real now! It’s been a hell of a first day back, Saraphim.

Veil Fractured: Communications and Power Networks Down

ZZ3K92: ”This is ZZ3K92 does anybody read me?…..This is ZZ3K92 is anyone receiving this message?…..This is ZZ3K92 is anyone out there?….My name is Richard Brace there is something terribly wrong with the Veil Station.”

ZZ3K92: ”This is ZZ3K92 I’m the facilities manager of the Lahaina Veil Station, is there anyone out there? We have an emergency. I’ve heard multiple explosions, power is out, and the network is down. I haven’t been able to call or message anyone. This is ZZ3K92 looking for any response. We’re going to need help. Does anyone hear me?”

Unknown Operator: “…is…..3…….barely hear…..coming……don’t….”

ZZ3K92: ”This is ZZ3K92 please repeat. This is Bracer, is that you Buddy? Paul, did you get to the radio? Please repeat.”

Unknown Operator: “….fire……with the…….not sure how long we…..”

ZZ3K92: ”This is ZZ3K92 please repeat! There’s a lot of interference. Where are you? I’m the facilities manager at the Veil Station in Lahaina. There’s been a major accident or attack, I’m not sure. There have been a number of explosions at the station. There was an earthquake earlier and an aftershock a few minutes ago. Something really bad is happening.”

Unknown Operator: “….Z…2 what do you see? ……where….”

ZZ3K92: “This is ZZ3K92 you’re coming in a little clearer. We need help. I haven’t heard sirens in a while. I was walking home for lunch when it happened. There were a number of explosions followed by one huge one. I don’t know if we’re under attack or what happened.”

Unknown Operator: “This is …3K9….. I made it to the emergency….anything from outside. I’ve tried using the….any information would be useful….”

ZZ3K92: “This is ZZ3K92. The big explosion sent a plume of burning 127 into the sky. It made a sound like wet burlap ripping, but really loud. I could see the stars for a second and then nothing but lightning. I think the 127 is reacting with something. I made it to the emergency shelter but I know nobody inside the station is alive. Many more are going to die if the 127 spreads. This is a major disaster. We need help immediately. Where are you located? Have you been able to contact anyone else?”

Unknown Operator: “..ZZ3….coherence failure, millions must be trapped mid transport.”

ZZ3K92: “This is ZZ3K92. Please say again. Are you saying this is happening everywhere? I repeat are you saying the entire network is fracturing? Have you been able to contact any agency for help? I have nothing over here.”

Unknown Operator: “This is ZZ3K92. I repeat we’re experiencing a complete failure of the veil network. I have been unable to contact any emergency agency. Power and communication grids appear to be down….”

ZZ3K92: “This is the real ZZ3K92, and you picked a really shitty time to screw around on the radio kid. There is an emergency going on here people are dying.”

Unknown Operator: “I’ve been registered as ZZ3K92 for over 15 years, but I agree now is not the time to troll your dad’s HAM radio set. My name is Richard Brace, I’m a senior engineer at the Veil Station in Lahaina. I’m afraid the veil network has suffered a coherence failure. I need you to call the authorities and let them know…..”

ZZ3K92: “I’m serious! Get help or get off the air! There are people dying out there. This isn’t a joke! Now is not the time to play on the radio. We need help immediately! Also, get it right, I’m the facilities manager, not a senior engineer.”

Unknown Operator: “Get off the radio! There is a serious incident in Lahaina right now and I’m afraid it’s affecting other stations as well. People are going to need help. I don’t have time for someone who thinks it’s funny to pretend to be me during an emergency, who does that? And I was facilities manager until I finished my Ph.D. I guess it’s been a while since you read our About page.”

ZZ3K92: “Last warning! Get off the radio and get some help. I don’t have time for this!”

Unknown Operator: “This is ZZ3K92. We are executing Niner Alpha Lima, all stations shut down immediately! Scuttle scuttle scuttle permanent code Charlie Joker Fiver November Niner.”

ZZ3K92: “How do you know the emergency shutdown code?”

Unknown Operator: “This is ZZ3K92. We …..Alpha Lima, all stations shutdown….permanent code Charlie Joker….Niner. I repeat, the Veil…. failure!”

ZZ3K92: “I….I’m….I don’t know what to think. How is this possible? If you are really who I think you are…things are worse than I thought. There isn’t anyone to call, is there?”

Unknown Operator: “I think the veil has….the only explanation that I……right, I don’t know who’d you call about…….safe until help arrives or things…..”

ZZ3K92: “I’m losing you again. Can you please repeat?”

Unknown Operator: “…..again…….inside. I think if we could……there?”

ZZ3K92: “This is ZZ3K92. Are you there ZZ3K92? ZZ3K92 can you hear me?”

Unknown Operator: “…safe….detanglement…shutdown….”

ZZ3K92: “This is ZZ3K92. I didn’t catch that. Please say again….ZZ3K92 are you there?……ZZ3K92 do you read?……ZZ3K92? This is ZZ3K92, good luck in whatever world you are in Richard.”

You need to Let me deface your building

Hello marketing person or entry level communication drone dying inside, and forced to sort out any “unpleasantness” from the public discourse for his boss. If the drone is still reading this, I urge you to reevaluate your life so far. How much can you possibly be making? What do you think being told you’re a terrible person a thousand times a year does to someone? I’m sure those honest few minutes each morning in the shower before the water washes away your tears tells you everything you need to know. Do yourself, and me a favor and pass this on to someone who isn’t a loser. If this is someone in marketing. let me get to the point, you are hurting my brand. When you hurt my brand you are ultimately hurting yours. It’s easy. Just in case you don’t get it yet, let me try and explain it to you.

I don’t think you know who I am and what I’m trying to do for both of us and that has become a problem. Let me try and clear it up for you. I am the famous, some say infamous, artist St. Skribillz. Some call me a graffiti artist, or a street artist but I don’t like to limit myself with labels. I apologize that I can’t talk directly with you or call on the phone. It’s important for the persona that I remain anonymous.

I’m sure you’ve heard of the “Illz” campaign that I started 3 years ago. One of the many documentaries about me has called it “The most subversively humorous, and expertly advertised social commentary about the folly of man since the invention of paint.” I have graced over a dozen corporations and organizations with my crafted critiques. In the process, my work has helped thousands. I donate a portion of the sale of each work after I have it removed from your facility. In turn, you get to say that I have defaced a portion of your property. The establishment gets mad and offers to throw you some support, and your name gets out there to all the kids. No press is bad press. Am I right? I’m not sure what you’re not getting. Even the religious groups I’ve condemned have played ball so far.

One of the first targets of the Illz project was your giant veil station in Lahaina. It took me all night to get the geometry of that many toilets in two places at once correct. Don’t get me started about how bad the lighting was the following morning. What is usually a well rehearsed 2 hours of documenting and promoting stretched into the early afternoon. Then I heard later on in the jet that the piece had been removed already. I thought you just didn’t get what I was doing, and would wise up on another attempt.

A year later I found myself back on the island and tried again. Imagine my surprise when it happened again. At first I thought the issue was my assistant Tim. I had updated my paints after the earthquake had destroyed my work in China. When I saw what the hoses and rubble had done to my baby I almost lost it. I still get a little choked up about how faded the color looked after that terrible day. I was so ashamed of the quality of that piece that I never put it up for sale. Anyway, I was sure you wouldn’t be able to clean off my new paints in such a short time, so it had to be Tim.

He had been acting weird in the days leading up to my second attempt. He didn’t tip the Hailoha driver and then told me he did. He was late with his marketing and social trending reports, and worst of all he was taking pictures of things other than the work in order to throw me off. “This place is gorgeous,” he said while snapping away pictures on the beach. As if nature could come close to the level of beauty that staged lighting, vibrant scientifically created colors, and my expert hand affords. When the news crew we had tipped off reported that my accomplishment had disappeared within 24 hours again, I assumed Tim had colluded with you to have the mural cut out and sold.

I’m not especially proud of what happened in the subsequent 2 months. Mistakes were made, but I have learned a lot and growth is important to an artist. I had Tim followed and may have allegedly monitored his communications. The tracking system we put in his car didn’t really reveal anything so I may have allegedly hired people to physically follow him around and report directly to me. Tim was always a little paranoid, so he may have been on edge already after discovering the listening device in his apartment. I guess guys in a SUV following him around was too much for him. I regret the high-speed chase, but the investigation that followed helped me understand that Tim wasn’t involved with the disappearance of my art, and he’ll have full mobility again in a few more months.

Third time’s a charm they say, so I decided to end what has been my most successful art enterprise with you, the biggest and most controversial company on the planet. This time however, I was going to wait around with the crew until the media showed up. I couldn’t imagine that you’d break the social contract between exploitative megacorporation and artistic opportunist again.

Then, even before the local paper showed up, along comes a little old man dragging a power sprayer. As I said, my paints are expensive and earthquake proof now so I wasn’t worried. But before I could stop him, the guy had erased hours of work with one pass of the sprayer. I asked what the hell he had loaded in that thing but he said it was just water. He then explained that the whole damn building had some sort of coating that was resistant to stains and plant growth.

Don’t you think that is something you should talk about more? Maybe mention it on your website? My work is important. Maybe I’m not a gigantic company with thousands of facilities worldwide but I have a following of almost 100 million on social media. Have you checked your’s lately? I have, and it could use a boost. I’m going to be in town for another couple days and I’m willing to try vandalizing your building one last time. I usually don’t like to schedule guerilla art but maybe that’s what needed in this case. Lets help each other’s brands with some positive outrage!

Saint Skribillz

Champion of the Truth
Painter of the People