STORYLINE

Watchdog Group Warns That Explosion at Lahaina Business Was Caused by 127-Laden Fruit

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The investigation into a recent accident at one of the popular “Pineapples and Oranges” smoothie bars in downtown Lahaina took a strange twist today, thanks to the watchdog group VeilWatch. The group released internal Veilcorp documents which they say prove the explosion at the popular bar was caused by fruit “saturated by high levels of element 127.” Officials say that they are exploring any and all leads regarding the accident which injured 5, but have not had time to review the documents sent to multiple media outlets yet. Veilcorp vehemently denies the group’s claims calling them an “unfortunate but wholly predictable attempt to mislead the public.”

One of the most beloved refreshment stops on Front Street, Pineapples and Oranges, has expanded throughout Maui, but the busiest store remains the original Lahaina location. It’s not unusual to wait 20-30 minutes during peak hours, and the lines on the weekends have become legendary. Given its popularity, officials say it is a miracle that more people were not injured after an explosion rocked the store hard enough to shatter windows on Saturday. Despite early reports of another terror attack, investigators now say they are focusing on a malfunctioning LuWow! blender as the most likely culprit. However, Tim Durney, former investigator for the Iowa Department of Natural Resources, and founder of the watchdog group VeilWatch, says that he believes unprecedented levels of 127 in bananas is responsible, and he has the documents to prove it.

“To be clear, the cause of this explosion which sent 5 innocent people to the hospital was likely smoothie ingredients laden with 127. We’ve released internal Veilcorp communications proving that the corporation knew that 127 has potassium-like affinities making it possible to build up in explosive amounts in certain fruits, like bananas. Thanks to the company’s Icarus project, we’ve already seen what the dangerous levels of 127 currently saturating the Earth can do to animal life. It should come as no surprise that it would have an equally deleterious effect on plants. In fact the emails we released today prove that Veilcorp knew about the potential problem and failed to warn the public. Who knows what else is slowly being charged with 127, and getting ready to blow.”

Veilcorp officials released a short statement reading in part, “Far more dangerous than Mr. Durney’s theoretical banana bomb, is his unfortunate but wholly predictable attempt to mislead the public…We wish those injured this weekend a speedy recovery. It is a shame that Veilwatch chooses to exploit such incidents to further their agenda of misinformation and cloud this investigation.”

While the new accusations may not add any clarity to the situation, one man present during the explosion says he believes the investigators are on the right track. Store manager John Driscol says that one LuWOW! machine in particular is to blame.

“Everyone who works in the Front Street store knows the history of machine number 4. We have 8 commercial blenders at that location, but number 4 has a mind of its own, and it’s troubled. I took this job because I’m a huge smoothie fan, and I didn’t know exactly what a store manager did. I thought I could just delegate most responsibilities. I’m a great delegator, but it turned out the job occasionally demands I be more hands-on than I thought.

Number 4 is the only original smoothie machine left, and it’s had a bad attitude ever since we got rid of its companions. It started making really weird noises during the defrosting cycle at the end of the night. It sounded like a scream mixed with laughter. I thought for sure a bearing was going out, but it’d stop whenever maintenance showed up, and they could never find anything wrong with it. Then, It started making the noise whenever an employee spilled or broke something too. It was really unnerving. It got so bad nobody wanted to use it. Eventually it went too far and things got scary.

One night it was cackling louder than usual, so I told Bobby to take the top off and look inside, hoping that he’d see something that maintenance missed. As soon as he took the top off the cleaning cycle stopped. He saw a big chunk of ice caught in the corner and tried to pull it out. When he stuck his hand in, the thing started again and it took off the tip of his finger. We dumped out the whole tub but never found the gram of flesh it took from Bobby. But it had now tasted blood. It started to make the noise whenever he got close, and he couldn’t take it anymore. Bobby requested a transfer the morning of the incident. I was so mad that I went out there and told number 4 that I’d be damned if I was going to lose a good fruit dicer to an evil smoothie machine. I was in the middle of my rant when it blew. People may think we’re crazy, but everyone at the store knows what happened, and what’s to blame. It was number 4. I’m sorry that so many people were injured, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t going to sleep easier knowing that smoothie machine is gone.”

STORYLINE

Veilcorp To Start Its Own News Service

Veilcorp has announced that it plans to start its own news service with reports and coverage specifically geared towards the corporation’s customers. Instead of traditional journalists, the service will rely on local “experts” and smart drones for all of its stories. Two pilot programs will start this week, one in Lahaina, and another in Seattle. Veilcorp says the new service will provide travelers with important local news, and offer a true look at the “unique atmosphere and vibe of our many destinations.”

Veilcorp is no stranger to exploring other various business opportunities, but the news business is different from its previous ventures. Veilcorp has had a complicated relationship with the media. Many accuse the company of having a cozy relationship with certain journalists, softening the coverage to some of the corporations more questionable decisions. None of those decisions was more controversial than the media ban following Eric Oeming’s return to Lahaina, after the terrorist attack that killed his wife, daughter, and employees.

With this kind of baggage, and an already saturated news market, one might wonder what would set Veilcorp’s news service apart from the crowd. According to Lahaina inventor Ano Lee, the answer is technology. “The news service will be using modified versions of my party drones, and will be integrated with the massive Glimpsea camera network,” says Lee. “My party drones were already designed to recognize: large groups of people, music, and lights, so I could find where the fun was happening on the weekend. We simply added cameras and the ability to set other targets of interest, whether those are areas, events, or specific objects and people. Now, Instead of sending back the GPS coordinates of the biggest parties on the island, the drones, with the help of the Glimpsea network, film whatever they have been assigned to cover.”

Veilcorp COO Lisa Hunt says that while the technology is cutting edge, the idea is quite simple, provide customers with a true understanding of the places and people that they are visiting. “Veilcorp, more than many other companies or organizations, is in a unique position to offer travelers the best local news available. We have a worldwide network, and a deep understanding of what travelers want. Numerous customer surveys have shown that people crave real-time and honest information about the places they are visiting. Our news service has no agenda other to inform our customers about the happenings, and important issues in their area. We use drones guided by local experts and contributors, to give veil travelers insight into the locals, and hear what issues are on their minds. Our goal is to offer great local news on a global scale.”

Some media outlets have scoffed at the idea of Veilcorp running a news service, and have questioned the credibility of any reports from citizen journalists and automated drones. A statement released from VeilWatch calls the proposed service, “One of the most dangerous propaganda tools ever devised, for the most dangerous organization the world has ever seen.” However, many, including people tapped as contributors, say the new service would offer a fresh, and much needed take on how local news operates, and what it covers.

Lahaina resident, and Veilcorp appointed expert John Driscol says he can’t wait to start his show, “Veil-Curious”. “They asked me to be in charge of Arts and Leisure. As everyone knows I’m a leisure expert. If you can’t find me relaxing on the beach, and counting waves, you can usually find me relaxing on another beach. I’m friends with numerous artists as well, so it seemed like a perfect fit. The best part of this service is the drones. I’ve never been in charge of something so simple. You just provide a few key activities, and specific things to look for to the techs. They load the information into the drones, and off they go. All you have to do is comment on what they capture. If you want to change up the coverage, you just assign new cues, and parameters. It’s really as simple as that. When Veil-Curious starts, people can look forward to lots of coverage of: tourists falling off paddle boards, beach bar reviews, and real-time tracking of that old guy who sells Italian ice from his cart. I really love that stuff, and he’s hard to find on the weekends.”

Veilcorp plans on officially launching the service on Friday, the 18th.

STORYLINE

VeilWatch Claims proof of secret human-127 testing program, threatens a midnight release

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People across the globe are expressing shock, anger, and disbelief over allegations from VeilWatch that Veilcorp and the U.S. government conducted a secret human-127 testing program in 2022. The watchdog group says they will release a full report at midnight unless the company agrees to halt all operations, and an independent government investigation is begun.

The study of 127 (unbiseptium), the element that makes veil travel possible, has a long and controversial history. Environmentalists have questioned its safety since a containment breach at a test facility in Iowa caused the mass evacuation of thousands and the destruction of several acres of crops surrounding the area in March 2023. The human testing program allegedly began months before.

These claims come hot on the heels of a leaked report from an investigator at the Department of Land and Natural Resources in Hawaii, linking an increase in 127 exposure to abnormalities in a number of plants and animals. Veilcorp denied those allegations producing a number of impact studies.

Complaints have not been isolated to Hawaii however. Since Veilcorp’s successful Icarus project increased the production of 127, reports have been pouring into various government and health agencies about adverse effects. Government officials claim that there is no need to worry and Veilcorp officials say that they have done everything possible to ensure the public’s safety. They vehemently deny these new allegations.

Spokesperson Lisa Hunt says,

“These allegations would be laughable if they weren’t so disgusting. I think the public needs to remember that this is the same organization that claimed to have proof that we had discovered a secret Nazi base in the arctic, and had moved all of our R&D there in 2040. Also, please don’t forget that in 2043 the sleuths at VeilWatch claimed to have evidence that our technology was the result of a pact Dr. Oeming had with the aliens who live on Nibiru. Nibiru of course is the mystery planet that enters our solar system every 3,600 years. We naturally expected VeilWatch to release our plans for a distribution hub in Atlantis next. The truth is that VeiWatch will release anything sent their way no matter how ridiculous or bizarre, but they have crossed a line this time. This is clearly nothing more than a distasteful smear campaign. We urge the public to consider the messenger when it comes to these charges, and urge government officials to take action against these reprehensible claims.”

VeilWatch founder Tim Durney counters that the full report has been released to key officials and has been thoroughly vetted.

“I was there in Iowa and saw how carelessly they acted. During the investigation it became clear to me that the government and Veilcorp were hopelessly entangled but I had no idea just how deep and dark their dealings were. According to these reports Veilcorp and the government started testing the effects of 127 exposure on people almost a year before the accident in Iowa. They knew how dangerous it was and didn’t warn anyone. Some of the findings in this report are incredible. I’m not going to get into specifics unless our demands aren’t met, but I will tell you that the research and findings described in these documents are right out of a sci-fi or horror movie. I have no doubt that the particulars will be shared with the public in the coming months. I think this is really going to open some eyes and people aren’t going to like what they learn.”

Experts seem split currently on what to make about these new allegations. Some share Hunt’s sentiments about some of the more outrageous claims made by VeilWatch over the years. Other’s say this time is different, as there has been some acknowledgment this morning from a number of officials that some sort of program existed. It remains to be seen what that program entailed and if it indeed involved human testing.

STORYLINE

Camp Teaches Ultra-Wealthy Kids How to Stay Rich

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Their parents are some of the most wealthy people on the planet. They have become accustomed to living a lavish lifestyle, and a handful of businesses want to make sure it stays that way. They are the children attending this year’s Young Elite Program (YEP). Until the release of internal documents by VeilWatch last month, little information about the week-long camp for the super-rich had been made public. Rumors about lavish parties, workshops on staying rich, and even trips into space have circulated for years but were unverifiable until now. While the documents haven’t revealed much about entitled kids orbiting the Earth, they have revealed one thing. The hosts of the annual camp believe strongly that these children are the future of Hawaiian wealth and business. In fact, they’re betting on it.

Sponsored by organizations like the Kokua Wellness Center, The First Hawaii National Bank, and brokerage firm Pacific Investments, YEP is designed to teach these privileged youth how to stay on top when their parents pass them the baton. Part “how to stay rich” tutorial, and part networking camp, the event has always held a “conflicted” place in the hearts of many living on Maui.

Thanks to large corporations like: Veilcorp, Vereserum, SSHAM, and even Manimal headquartering in Lahaina, a global shift of wealth has pushed Western Maui into the spotlight. In an era of ultra-affluence, many companies are trying to cultivate the next generation of clients, and solidify already existing relationships. While the idea of a summer camp to teach rich kids how to stay rich seems, at the very least, to be in bad taste to many Hawaiians, Kokua spokesperson Yvonne Masters says it’s just “a reflection of reality.”

“One of the biggest differences between ultra-rich families and your average Hawaiian household is one of tone and expectation. Your average family passes down the same limiting narratives, and beliefs about money, generation to generation. This story keeps families locked into financial mediocrity for years. The elite, on the other hand, teach their children that it’s not only OK to want to be rich, it’s vital to achieving their goals and living a truly fulfilling life. They teach them to see the world objectively, not through the lens of wishful thinking. YEP is a great resource for these kids to help them maintain their family’s wealth, and reach their full potential.”

When asked about revelations that each child has their own beach house, and a full-time staff while attending YEP, Masters says, “We meet the children at the level of comfort they have come to expect. You have to appreciate that most of our attendees are constantly surrounded by help to attend to their needs. These kids get Nuuskin treatments, and a whole new dermal layer, when they get acne. They have garages full of cars, and access to exclusive cutting-edge ceremplant software. We believe the perks we provide are a good reminder of what they deserve, and what they need to strive to preserve.”

However, if you ask the general public about what they think about YEP, you hear a very different story. Many native Hawaiians in particular, have strong negative feelings about the program, which have only been fueled by the recent VeilWatch document dump. The watchdog group’s founder Tim Durney claims the program is, “disgusting and completely counter to the Hawaiian spirit.” Instead of a program designed to help tomorrow’s potential leaders, Durney calls YEP “an institutional fattening of the overindulged and entitled.”

“It all started with Veilcorp money and influence transforming Maui into what it is now. We’re talking about kids who think it’s alright to buy new clothes when theirs get dirty, and new cars when they’re tired of the color. We’ve long know that the children of the upper echelon at Veilcorp are used to round-the-clock security teams, access to personal submarines, and emergency veils installed in their homes, but we now know it’s nothing compared to what these YEP kids get during the event. They have individual personal chefs, valets, stylists, and something called “personal brand specialists.” Purified glacial water is veiled in for them to shower with. We’re talking about kids who are learning they can do, and get anything they want. They have the actual voice actors brought in so they can partially read their lines, while the kids skip ahead playing their video games. The message YEP is giving these kids is clear. You are better than everyone else. You can do what you want without regard to your fellow man, and you don’t need to change if you can change the world around you. I’m not sure what part of the aloha spirit that represents. I hate to think what will happen to these kids if they had to live through some sort of life altering event.”

STORYLINE

Duracave Unveils First Portable 127 Reactor Available To the Public

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Having power during an outage is a luxury that everyone who own a home generator appreciates, however for some with extreme health conditions, having a constant source of power is a necessity. The same holds true for medical and emergency facilities. Until now, the only options available to the public were generators that relied on batteries, or fuel to keep the power going. Today, Duracave announced that they will offer the public a revolutionary new option that promises to not only provide continuous power for a lifetime, but will allow some to disconnect from the grid entirely. The company has unveiled a portable nuclear power generator that runs on “Unbiseptium,” better known as 127.

One of the military’s largest contractors, Duracave started offering commercial versions of their technology 20-years-ago with their mobile bunker system. The brand has since gained a devout following, especially amongst survival enthusiasts. The company already has a line of emergency solar generators for the home, but their latest design has only been available to the government until now. Duracave says the new generator is a giant leap forward in technology, and allows its customers the “freedom of self reliance for a lifetime.”

Weighing in at 82 pounds, the Portaplant 127 may not be light, but is small enough to be carried by the average consumer. Providing up to 60kW, the mini power plant could continuously power 10 medium sized houses, or a business for up to 75 years before needing to be replenished. “It’s the same technology that has powered the military, now available in your home,” says the company.

Despite the fanfare, many are concerned about the possibility of having a mini nuclear generator in their neighborhood, especially one powered by 127. Tim Durney, founder of the watchdog group VeilWatch, is among the loudest voices in opposition to the technology. He says, “This is exactly what we’ve been warning the public about for the last 15 years. We knew that once the 127 genie was out of the bottle it would be almost impossible to put back in. The element contaminated miles of farmland in Iowa after a containment leak, and gave cancer to thousands way back in 2023. We know that it is poisoning our food, and water. It is having detrimental effects to the environment, causing widespread abnormalities in plants and animals. Worst of all, consumers won’t be able to count on their government to protect them against the many deleterious effects of 127, since we know they are using the element in their own human research. My best advice to anyone who is thinking about purchasing one of these accidents-waiting-to-happen is simple, don’t! If you are concerned about your health and well-being stay away. If someone in your neighborhood buys one, move.”

Nonetheless, not everyone is concerned about the prospect of their neighbor owning a nuclear powered generator. Some are very excited about the prospect. Inventor and technology gadfly Ano Lee says he’s already making plans to integrate the Portaplant into his property. “I’ve been going over the specs since they announced they’d be selling them to the public last month. With one of these things going, I don’t have to worry about power outages ever again. There’s nothing worse than printing a spoon in a storm, and having the electricity go out before the handle is done. The Portaplant can power the entire printer shed with all the machines going, and still have enough juice left over for the Tchotchke Hut. I’m not personally worried about the 127, I mean lots of people here live near the veil station, and I haven’t seen anyone with 3 arms yet. But I understand that tourists might be worried, so we’re putting up a warning sign, and hanging a couple of NBC suits out by the front gate for anyone worried about dying of radiation poisoning while shopping for bobble heads, and plastic pineapples.”

Duracave says all of the products meet government guidelines, and are completely safe to use and operate. The company says they hope to expand their line of 127 generators with an even smaller model next year.

STORYLINE

U.N. Releases Report on Recycling Cartels

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A troubling report was released today about the vast number of men, women, and children who are forced to spend their days sifting through trash looking for valuable recyclables. The U.N. claims that over 3 million people are made to harvest plastics, metals, and other raw materials by so-called “Recycling Cartels”. According to the report, the huge drop in oil prices and other global-economic disruptions have created an environment conducive to the cartel’s operations. They estimate that the number of forced laborers will grow to 5 million within the next 10 years.

While the authors were careful not to focus on any underlying blame, that has not stopped many in the media from doing so. Veilwatch founder Tim Durney says it’s clear who is to blame for the issue, Veilcorp. Durney says that the problem began in 2039 when 182 countries signed the Gateway Travel Accord, making veil transportation legal and easy worldwide.

He says that the world was not ready for the economic realities of having a ultra-cheap workforce available in any country and the ensuing collapse of transportation sectors. With so many people out of work or displaced, Durney contends that it was inevitable that bad-actors would exploit the impoverished and fill the void left by failed governments.

“The truth of the matter is that mankind was not ready for the box Veilcorp opened when they unleashed this dangerous technology. The problem started when they signed the GTA. We saw massive protests, numerous failed states across the globe, and wars. Not content with that, Oeming started his Icarus project and solar production of 127 began. It was like adding a supercharger to Veilcorp’s engine of destruction. Now we find out that millions of people have to pick through trash just so they have access to food and shelter. These cartels used to make their money doing terrible things: human trafficking, gun running, drugs, you name it, and now thanks to Veilcorp, forcing people to sort through garbage pays better,”

Durney says.

Former U.S. Secretary of State Patrick Swalwell, who signed the Gateway Travel Accord, disagrees. He says that every new technology causes a period of uncertainty. Swalwell maintains that the extraordinary nature of veil technology may be causing a larger ripple than normal, but in the end, economies will adapt. “The reality is that unfortunately right now there are places where gathering recyclable materials is economically feasible. I think these groups are deplorable but I disagree with the U.N. report. I believe in history, and history has shown that issues like this will reset and resolve themselves after a period of transition.”

Durney counters, “This is the same song and dance we’ve heard again and again. They say that the only way to fix things is to let the chaos run its course. The only way we can learn how to use this technology is to let terrible things happen. But we have to ask ourselves, were we ready for this? Are we really ready for a leap this big? I believe the answer is clearly, no!. You wouldn’t give a room full of toddlers guns and say that some are just going to have to shoot themselves until they learn how to use them responsibly.”

Veilcorp spokesperson Lisa Hunt says she finds the report troubling, but pushes back against claims that the company is responsible. Hunt says that the company has strict guidelines about what sorts of materials can be transported and follows all applicable laws in the areas the corporation does business in. She contends that Durney’s allegations are grandstanding and nothing new.

To claims that the company should take the lead in addressing the cartel problem, she says,

“We are not the world’s hall monitors or the global morality police. We are a company that transports goods and people across the globe in a safe and enjoyable manner. That’s it. Blaming Veilcorp for failed states and what amounts to slavery is absurd. I don’t recall hearing about steel manufacturers being blamed for the world’s knife attacks. I wish all this outrage, both real and manufactured, would be directed where it belongs, at the cartels and governments that allow this inhumane practice to continue. We could demand the expansion of recycling facilities to help cut the money out of this barbaric practice. Governments could work to restore order in the areas where the cartels operate and give these people a chance at a better life by finding jobs. I happen to know a company that is pretty good at helping people get to work everyday. Let’s start blaming the people who actually robbed the bank and not the people who made the car they got away in.”

STORYLINE

Business Enacts Hiring Freeze On People Who Have Used Veil Travel

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2046 was going to be the year that 37-year-old Sam Pilikia got his life back on track. It had been 3 years since his headline-making accident at the Lahaina veil station and his long road to recovery. The doctors had cleared him for work and with over a decade of experience as a lift operator, he was sure he’d be able to find a job in no time. His interview at a local Duracve sorting facility went fantastic and he was positive that he’d get an offer soon. When the company’s letter arrived in his inbox he was ecstatic, until he read the first paragraph. Like a growing number of businesses, Duracave had decided to put a hiring ban on anyone who had used veil technology more than twice in the previous year or worked with element 127, the fuel that makes veil travel possible.

“I was completely devastated,” says Pilikia. “I broke dozens of bones, suffered a brain injury, and had burns to over 50% of my body. The doctors weren’t even sure I’d make it, but I fought hard. I didn’t think anything could stop me, then I got this letter saying I’m unhirable for life because a barrel of 127 fell on me. It doesn’t seem fair.”

Sam is not alone. Dozens of businesses now have some sort of hiring freeze on people who frequently use veil travel, impacting thousands seeking work. A Duracave statement about their policy reads in part, “….above all Duracave represents freedom and a self-sufficient lifestyle. Unfortunately, we live in a time in which tyranny has many faces and to avoid the tyranny of higher health care premiums we’ve had to enact new hiring policies excluding those who might have vulnerabilities. As a company, we are only as strong as our weakest employees. Just as in nature, we’ve had to thin the herd to keep the company in good health and fiscally strong.”

While Pilikia and others fight against 127 hiring bans, VeilWatch founder Tim Durney says the practice is going to become more and more common until the truth about the effects of 127 is exposed. “I think we’re seeing the private sector step in and do what the government should have been doing all along,” he says.

“The truth is that 127 has a devastating effect on your health and the environment. We’ve proven that Veilcorp has known for almost a decade that this element makes permanent changes to DNA. 127 saturates living cells and there is no therapy or method for removing it. The biggest misconception right now is that you can’t live in this day and age without Veilcorp. That’s just not true. We have a program right here on Maui that teaches the public how they can avoid using products that are shipped with veil technology and how to live a clean healthy life avoiding 127 exposure. Unsafe and unregulated, veil technology is one of the greatest dangers to our world today!”

Veilcorp COO Lisa Hunt says she’s disappointed that companies are buying into what she calls, “complete nonsense.” She adds, “It is almost beyond belief that some health insurers have increased rates for people who choose to travel in a modern method based on pseudoscience and superstition. My heart goes out to the people caught up in this nonsense who are simply looking for a job. 127 and veil technology have been proven safe by millions of customers transported without incident across the globe every year. Opening an umbrella indoors, walking under a ladder, and having a black cat cross your path doesn’t preclude you from reasonable health insurance rates and employment. Neither should veil travel.”

While most experts seem to be on Hunt’s side there is no denying that the growth of 127 bans shows that the general public still has some doubts about the safety of the element. Kurt Bickley of Suter, Stine, Burn & Partners (SSB&P) says his law firm takes 127 exposure seriously and has represented dozens of people adversely affected by veil technology. “If anything, Mr. Durney is underselling the dangers,” he says.

“We have already filed a class-action suit against Veilcorp on behalf of thousands of parents who have had twins or triplets because of exposure to 127, but in a lot of ways, these multiple birth parents are the lucky ones. The list of health issues caused by veil travel is long and terrifying. Some of the most common problems include severe mood swings, blackouts, spastic arm syndrome, depression, veil palsy, problems with memory and concentration, paranoia, overactive bladder, Morgellons, a burning sensation in the teeth, dropsy, frigidity, nausea, heart palpitation, pica, trench mouth, sleep apnea, night terrors, hair loss, and a sudden drop in IQ. If you or a loved one has experienced any or all of these symptoms after veil travel contact SSB&P immediately so we can begin your case and establish our right to 30% of your recovery.”

STORYLINE

Group Offers $2K to Go “Veil-Free” For a Week

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There’s no doubt that Veil technology has become an integral part of our lives. Over the past two decades, Veilcorp has become the largest corporation the world has ever seen and partnerships with the megacorp have become essential to businesses in most major cities. Virtually all travel is done through a Veilcorp facility and here on Maui, almost 98% of goods arrive through the veil. With such a complete integration into our daily lives, you might wonder if it’s possible to do anything without putting a few dollars into Veilcorp’s pockets. A new group says that it is not only possible, but they’ll teach you how to do it and pay you $2,000 if you can go a week “Veil-Free”.

Veil-Free is the brainchild of well known anti-Veilcorp pundit and founder of VeilWatch Tim Durney. Unlike his watchdog organization, Veil-Free isn’t concerned with releasing internal documents or classified government memos. Instead, Veil-Free teaches those who sign up for the program strategies for uncoupling their lives from Veilcorp on a sprawling 100-acre farm. Better yet, they pay participants $2K for completing the week-long course. Durney says, “We like to keep the farm a positive place and try to not say the company’s name if at all possible after orientation.”

“Unsafe and Unregulated, Veil technology is one of the greatest dangers to our world today, unfortunately through backroom government agreements, and illegal business practices Veilcorp has wormed its way into most of our lives. So much so that most people can’t fathom how they’d live without it. That’s what the farm is about. It’s a way to remind everyone that life existed before Veilcorp, and you can easily live a Veil-Free life if you know what to do and who to do business with.

Our beautiful 100-acre farm is a great place to learn how to find sustainable local food and business options, as well as learn the cleansing power of our green pineapple drinks and supplements. We demonstrate how much you can cut into your grocery bill with small food plots perfectly sized for any backyard and free of any 127 contamination. The staff teaches you how to spot a company that does business with Veilcorp and how to chip away at Veilcorp’s stranglehold one small business and drink at a time. Veil-Free is all about teaching you how to live your best and most socially responsible life, and unlike most schools or programs we pay you at the end.”

Veilcorp COO Lisa Hunt, of course, has a different take on the Veil-Free program, calling it “a cult designed to sell questionable health supplements”. She says, “I’ll be brief as possible because Tim has already gotten enough publicity out of this little stunt. The fact is Veil technology has been proven safe for decades now. Indeed, Veilcorp has forever changed the world, but for the better. Medicines can now get where they need to go instantly. Relief and aid workers can respond to a disaster in seconds. Exploring other countries and cultures has never been easier, and for those of us who remember traveling in a jet, well I don’t have to explain how much better travel is now. People lived before we had vaccines and modern medicine too, but I wouldn’t call their lives better. Tim should save himself the $2K a head, put down the pineapple potions, and buy himself some perspective.”

Reviews from Veil-Free participants have been widely mixed with some lauding the program as a responsible path to the future, while others say the daily classes are nothing more than real-time infomercials for pineapple based health supplements. One thing that everyone seems to agree on however is how nice the $2,000 payout is at the end. The money is what initially interested John Driscol, but the Lahaina resident says he’s not sure if he’d go through the program again. “Getting paid to not do something seemed like the kind of thing I’d excel at, but it was really lame, and the supplements made me sick,” he says.

“I mean on paper it seemed great. Just kind of hang out and not veil someplace for a week while a passionate person talks to you about what they’re passionate about. Get a $2K check at the end. It sounded like something I could do. While I try to not get passionate about too many things, I don’t mind when someone else does as long as I don’t have to be part of the conversation. It turned out that the thing they were most concerned about was getting us to try these green pineapple drinks that were supposed to “flush the 127 out of our systems”. I don’t know how much 127 I had in there before, but there must have been some because it was pretty explosive. After 2 or 3 of those drinks, it was all gone, along with anything else I might have had in me.

Also, we couldn’t do anything or frequent any business that had any ties to Veilcorp. Do you know how many companies have a partnership or do marketing events with Veilcorp? It’s like all of them! I couldn’t get food delivered or get a car to drive me to the beach. It was a week of eating whatever happened to be coming up in those little garden plots, braving yet another green drink or eating a pineapple hull bar. After the drink, I didn’t have the heart to try the bars. I had to take the bus everywhere, surrounded by the kind of people that ride the bus and make do with surplus single-ply toilet paper. It’s was a nightmare!

On top of that, we could only go to like a dozen approved locations on the island and only use really old gaming systems. They had all these tips on how to have fun at home with your family, and I was like “Who the hell wants to spend leisure time with those people?” I see them every day, but at least they mostly leave me alone and never try to sell me stuff to improve my health. Not doing something was never so brutal! By the end, I felt like I was trapped in an infomercial on a channel I’d never watch. On my last day, I told them that they owed me more than just $2K for my emotional distress, but they took away my complimentary cleanser and told me to leave. I’m not sure I learned anything other than the unfortunate power of green pineapples and how thankful I am for delivery drones. Next time I’m going to not do something someplace else for money.”

STORYLINE

Arrest Made In Veilcorp Bombing attack

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An arrest has been made today in the Veilcorp Luau bombing attack. 38-year-old Ben Drakes turned himself in to authorities this morning, claiming responsibility for the bombing which killed 10 and left 39 injured. Among the dead were Tracy and Alohi Oeming, wife and daughter of Veilcorp’s founder Eric Oeming. Eric himself remains in a coma. Officials say Drakes claims to have acted alone but the investigation remains ongoing. They had no comment as to motive in the case.

However, before turning himself in Drakes released a 5 page document to the press explaining why he bombed the Luau. In it he claims to be a member of the radical environmental group Gaia Guard and provides a detailed list of Veilcorp “crimes” against the Earth. The sometimes disjointed statement reads in part,

“Our mother is sick. She is sick because we turned our backs on her instinctual laws. She warned us many times but we refused to listen. Her tears flooded the land when we cut down her forests to build our cities, but we didn’t listen. She spread disease as we killed her other children for their meat and hides, but we didn’t listen. She ran a fever when we pumped our industrial smoke into the sky, but we didn’t listen. Her body quaked as we fracked into her, draining her rich dark blood, but we didn’t listen. She swept the land with cancer and deformity when we tried to play with the building blocks of life, but we wouldn’t listen. Veilcorp was tearing her apart with gateway technology. She was starting to lose her fight, so we made you listen. Oeming and his followers thought they were above Gaia’s law, so we made them answer for their cruelty. 18-years-ago a small town in Iowa was forever scarred by Oeming’s arrogance. A small group of people from that town pointed out the obvious and made the world listen for a moment. Our mother is running out of time, so we made you listen again.”

Drakes had been working as a lift operator at the Veilcorp station in Lahaina for the past 3 years without incident but has a long history with law enforcement. Records indicate that he was arrested and charged with assault or other violent crimes 3 times. Neighbors say they are in shock over the arrest and claim that Ben was “a quiet guy who kept to himself.” When asked about his employment a Veilcorp spokesperson had no comment.

Friends and family acknowledge that Drakes had a troubled past but claim that he had turned his life around 10 years ago. While he struggled when he was younger, they say Drakes completed treatment programs and was taking online classes to earn a college degree. They claim to have no knowledge of his alleged involvement with Gaia Guard.

His mother’s attorney released a brief statement that reads, “The Ben we all knew and loved would not do anything like this. My son was a loving young man who enjoyed spending weekends working with his grandfather on his farm. Ben always put other people first in his life and would go out of his way to help anyone if he could. Like many, he had a brief struggle with substance abuse and did some things he was not proud of. As far as we knew he had turned his life around and was working towards a better future. The Ben I know is not a monster and is incapable of such a violent act. Our hearts and prayers go out to the families of everyone caught in this senseless act. We are fully cooperating with law enforcement and would ask the media to direct all inquiries to our lawyer.”

Details of the crime remain few. With the investigation ongoing, police aren’t saying much but acknowledge that others might still be involved. Drakes 5 page public confession provides little additional information. For their part, Gaia Guard has remained uncharacteristically quiet.

Veilcorp spokesperson Lisa Hunt released a statement this afternoon about the arrest that said in part,

“I’m thrilled that this monster is where he belongs, behind bars. It’s too bad that the justice system will undoubtedly show him more mercy than he offered his victims. While it’s important to remember the 10 killed and 39 injured in this cowardly act, we should be devoting our energies to rooting out every last one of these Gaia Guard terrorists. We can spend time in reflection after they are all behind bars and awaiting execution. I would encourage officials to take a close look at anyone claiming affiliation with the group before more innocents lose their lives over nonsense and propaganda. In addition, we should take a close look at VeilWatch as well. They have been baiting these animals for years without any repercussions. They may not have planted the bombs but it’s clear that they planted the seed for this act. It’s time for them to reap what they’ve sown.”

STORYLINE

Eric Oeming Injured, Wife and Daughter Among Those Killed In Explosion

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All eyes are on Lahaina this evening as more information has been released about an explosion at a Veilcorp company luau this morning. It has now been confirmed that Tracy and Alohi Oeming, wife and daughter of Veilcorp’s founder Eric Oeming, are among the 9 confirmed dead. Other names are being withheld until officials can notify family members.

Eric Oeming himself has joined the official injury tally. That list has now crept up to 36, with many in critical or serious condition. Some of the injured were flown to Molokai General Hospital, Queen’s Medical Center, and the Straub Medical Center in Honolulu. Numerous outlets are reporting that Oeming is suffering from severe burns and significant head injury. Veilcorp officials confirm that Oeming was severely injured but would not comment on the details of those injuries.

An explosion rocked the annual Veilcorp ‘Innovators Luau’ this morning with hundreds in attendance. All available emergency services responded from across the island. For most of the day unconfirmed stories and details have been making the rounds in the media. It appears certain now that contrary to some reports, the explosion was not an accident. According to law enforcement officials the explosion was caused by the detonation of a catering vehicle that had been parked near the grill and serving area. Officials aren’t saying if the attacker is among those dead or injured, or if the bomb was remotely activated.

Agents from the Department of Homeland Security and the Hawaii Emergency Management Agency have taken control of what is now being called a crime scene. Those agencies had no comment about the incident and local police tell the Lahaina Advertiser that they have no suspects yet but are still gathering leads and interviewing witnesses. Although one anonymous officer told the Advertiser, “at this point it looks like an inside job.” They confirm that earlier reports of gunfire are untrue.

While officials aren’t saying much about who might be responsible, a number of fringe groups have applauded the attack, sighting a long list of accusations against the company and its dealings across the globe. Members of the radical environmentalist group Gaia Guard have been particularly vocal, and promise to release a major announcement regarding the attack later this evening.

Tim Durney, the founder of VeilWatch and staunch opponent of the corporation, was quick to distance himself and his organization from the incident, “I understand the anger that some feel towards Eric Oeming and his company, but this is not the answer. You don’t fight against injustice by blowing up a car at a company picnic. My deepest sympathies go to all the families involved including Eric. What happened here is a crime committed by cowards and a tragedy.”

Mayor Albert Cravalho will be leading a midnight vigil this evening and says,

“Things like this don’t happen on the island. Eric just isn’t a guy on the news to us, he is family. Just about everyone has seen him and his family walking around Lahaina at one time or another. I can’t tell you how many mornings I had a breakfast bowl with him and his daughter Alohi at Hula Noodle. We’re all devastated. My heart goes out to all the victims of today’s attack and I’d like to acknowledge the bravery of our first responders. This is a sad day for everyone and especially for everyone in Lahaina.”

Officials have opened a tip and information line and would like to remind the public again to use it and not 911. President Sawant will be making a statement about the attack within the hour. We will have reactions to her words after the speech and report any new developments as they happen.