Dear SSB&P management team,
My interactions and dealings with your company began on May 9th. They were odd at first and have become increasingly unpleasant. If someone had told me what I would learn and experience firsthand over the past week, I would have called them a liar. Without naming names, I have been informed of your unique situation by a member of your “Interdimensional Innovator Program” and urge you to take a new path. I implore you to have your representatives contact Veilcorp officials for help. I fail to see how sending interns to other worlds with stacks of legal documents and litigious attitudes gets you to a better place. Your actions are not only unhelpful to your organization, they are potentially dangerous.
May 9th was like any other Monday morning for about 45 mins. I was in the middle of a shave when I heard the doorbell and figured it was a delivery. I wish that I hadn’t opened that door, but after a few minutes of incessant ringing, the knocking began. I became concerned that something serious had happened. Much to my surprise there wasn’t a police officer at my door but a young man in a slightly disheveled suit. I didn’t even have time to ask him what he wanted or who he was before he shoved some documents at me and said, “Mike Lauder, you’ve been served!” Needless to say, it was not how I imagined my week starting.
I looked over the papers and they didn’t make any sense to me. I was being sued because my company provided parts to Veilcorp and was being accused of gross negligence in the manufacture of those parts resulting in a breach and mass loss of life. When I first took over the business from my father we did business with Veilcorp, but that was over 10 years ago. When Oeming died and Lisa Hunt took over the company, we were one of the many businesses who had their contracts paid out and terminated. The way she handled the transitional housecleaning left a bad taste in my mouth and I vowed that we’d never do business with them again. I was also pretty sure that if there was some kind of catastrophe involving Veilcorp it would be in the news and I hadn’t heard anything. I handed the paperwork to our lawyer anyway and tried not to dwell on it.
I wasn’t completely surprised when the lawyer called later that afternoon telling me not to worry about it. SSB&P wasn’t even a real law firm according to her. This was either a joke or one hell of a gutsy scam. I put the whole thing out of my mind until two days later when I had another early morning visitor. After some equally urgent knocking, I again found a young man in an unpressed suit shoving papers into my chest and telling me I was served. I asked him if this was a joke and which one of my friends sent him. He handed me a card and told me I could meet at the Veilcorp station after 6pm if I had any further questions. I called around and none of my friends would admit to the prank. I started to get concerned, and on advice from counsel I filed a police report. I tried again to put the whole thing out of my mind and focus on what I needed to get done before the end of the week, but something didn’t feel right to me.
When the doorbell rang Friday morning the adrenaline shot made me almost drop my razor. I’m not going to say who I found at the door because I promised I wouldn’t. All you need to know is that I had a long discussion with this person and they told me everything. I struggled to understand what I was hearing and bounced back and forth between belief and uncertainty. I won’t get into specifics in order protect this person’s safety, but they offered me some undeniable proof of their story.
I thought about calling the authorities but I’ve seen enough movies to know what would happen. Best case scenario, I’d end up trying to keep my eyes open through a mountain of antipsychotic drugs in an insane asylum somewhere. Worst case the government would learn the truth and decide I should never be seen again or my individual parts need to be studied because I’ve had contact with a person from another dimension. No, I couldn’t tell anyone here. I didn’t plan on sending this letter to you either. I promised your employee I wouldn’t because I can’t imagine how it would help you and I’m sure it wouldn’t turn out to good for them. They’ve told me stories about your new org chart and it didn’t sound pleasant. My plan was to just keep answering the door and accepting paperwork every two days and try and keep all of this quite, but this morning the robocalls started.
At first it was just static and I almost hung up. I wish I had. When I heard the automated voice inform me that SSB&P had a special message for me and that I should go to my nearest Veilcorp station to wait for further instruction, I knew that I had to do something. I can handle the threat of of being sued by interdimensional lawyers 3 times a week, but other-wordly robocalls is the stuff of nightmares. I don’t understand why you’ve decided to take the path you have. I think you’d be much better served seeking out Veilcorp help instead of threatening litigation, but that’s your decision. These calls however are a whole other issue. Not only will they not work, but they’re going to get me vivisectioned in a government lab somewhere. I’ll help you in any way I can but you have to stop the robocalls; they’re dangerous!
Mike Lauder
President Lauder Industrial
