Veilcorp Introduces “Catastrophe Pricing”

There’s no doubt that losing a home to flood or fire can be devastating. Handling the logistics of finding housing, navigating insurance claims, and picking up the pieces of your life can be a daunting task and it seems like taking a vacation would be the last thing on your mind. However, Veilcorp is launching a new program that aims to convince you that it’s the perfect time to take a trip. “Catastrophe Pricing” offers travelers a chance to get away from it all at up to a 60% discount depending on the nature of your catastrophe.

Revolutionizing the way we travel, Veilcorp has never been shy about trying something new and interacting with its customers. After being born in Veilcorp’s main Lahaina hub in September 2038, Harrison Veil Lehmann was given free travel for the rest of his life. Veilcorp’s handling of mishap prone Robert Waldowski’s vacation earlier this year made national news and started an internal conversation according to spokesperson Lisa Hunt. “We were blown away by the response we got after Robert’s stingray attack and started talking about how we could help more people facing unusual or awful circumstances,” she says.

“We want to turn your worst day into one of your best. Catastrophe pricing is just our way of thanking our customers in a time of need. Putting a little space between you and whatever horrible event you’ve experienced is a great way to decompress and find a bit of joy in a trying time. We’re offering trips to five of the most beautiful locations on Earth, including right here in Lahaina at a 30%-60% discount depending on the specific disaster you’ve lived through. Whether it’s a house fire, flood, natural disaster, or even war, we want our customers to take a break for a while and enjoy what’s truly important, health, love, and family.”

While most of the public believes that Veilcorp’s heart is in the right place, many have expressed dismay at offering travel discounts to people who have just lost everything. Critics have called the scheme “sick” and even worse. Veilwatch founder Tim Durney says that the new program is an attempt to “…reshape society in Veilcorp’s image.”

“Anyone who’s been paying attention knows what this is really about. It’s a land grab. All 5 locations just happen to be in areas that are booming economically. It’s perfect for someone still reeling from disaster and looking for a new place to live. Veilcorp gets to pick from a new pool of talent who are vulnerable and at the same time leave areas already struggling from flood or fire ripe for the picking. It’s similar to what happened to certain inner-city areas early this century. Veilcorp convinces people to move and then goes in and buys huge chunks of land, sometimes whole neighborhoods, for its purposes. All while government agencies designed to protect citizens from these predatory practices look on and do nothing. We’re calling on Veilcorp to end this artificial sprawl and for government officials to do their job.”

Veilcorp vehemently denies Durney’s allegations calling them the “paranoid ramblings of a deeply obsessed individual.” While Durney has concerns about the areas left behind by these catastrophe travelers others worry about the areas they are visiting. Author and Lahaina native Kevin Morrow worries that the influx of traumatized people might hurt Maui’s aloha spirit.

“In my new book, “Are You Happy Now?” I explore the history of happiness and how fragile elation can be. Have you ever talked about a mass shooting at a wedding or award ceremony? Have you ever read a list of all of your grandmother’s friends who have passed away at her birthday party? If you have, you know how tenuous communal cheer and goodwill can be. Joy can turn to anger very quickly with the introduction of lists and the stark reality of disasters. I feel bad for these people that Veilcorp is brining to Lahaina, but we have to be careful that we don’t reach a tipping point. A few shakes of bitters is perfect in a Singapore Sling, but half a bottle is a nightmare for your mouth. How many people moping around the beach making lists of things that have to be done when they return home is too many? Is it 20? Is it 50 or 100? The point is we don’t know how many displaced people or bullet points it takes to start to strangle the aloha spirit we all enjoy. I suggest we do our best not to find out.”