We’re Launching the First New Manimal Product in Almost a Century

Over 95 years ago the cure for thirst was discovered and Manimal was introduced to the public. Perhaps the most recognized brand in the world, Manimal dominated the sports drink market up to the fracture and beyond. The popular beverage could be found in almost every kitchen and the company hosted numerous competitive events worldwide. Even today, the drink remains one of the most sought after items on the island because of its amazing rehydration properties, excellent packaging, and amazing shelf life.

It’s been 90 years since the company released its last line of products. Manimal spray promised those brave enough to use it, “Instant Maximum Hydration” and was a modest success for the company. Plagued with a number of lawsuits and government inquiries, time caught up to the company and it was never able to release another formula before the great accident. Thanks to the help of our fellow Merchant Association member Rita Olu’olu that is about to change.

Rita’s Refreshments has been one of the most popular stops for a beverage for years. Her understanding of flavors and eye for branding has made her shop a top earner since she opened. Her “Turtle Juice” was the surprise hit of last year’s Lava Sledding Championships and won her many fans. Now, with our help, Rita is set to unveil her very own line of Manimal drinks.

1 is made inside the remains of a whale, 100% natural, and offers drinkers a “Lahaina sleigh ride to refreshment”. Available in 2 taste-bud-busting flavors: Benthic Blue and Scrimshawberry, the beverage is sure to change the way visitors battle thirst across the island.

The genesis of Whalanimal is a whale of a tale that our research shows is best left untold. While the unique process of brewing and mixing inside a cetacean carcass provides a perfectly safe and surprisingly delicious product, it remains distasteful to a large number of potential customers. If pressed on details we’ve found it best to avoid focusing on specific aspects of the process. Instead, let the taste and effects of the product breach any walls of doubt your patron might have.

The creation of Whalanimal is no fluke. We’ve worked for months with Rita to create a drink that not only lives up to the high expectations set by the original, but blows a hole in them. Powered by the sun, and fortified with nutrients from deep inside the animal, this Manimal packs a whale of a boost. Our baleen to canteen filtration system ensures a quality product free of the large particles one might expect in a naturally brewed sports drink.

I know some of you have expressed concerns that we may have swallowed more than we could chew by trying to reboot the Manimal franchise. All I ask is that you give it a try. I could sit here all day blubbering about how excited I am, but words can’t describe the jolt you get after your first taste of Whalanimal.

Don’t leave your customers stranded on thirsty shores and place your orders now. Once people learn that they can “Live like a Manimal” again without the fear of running out, the demand is sure to be high. Whales are known as the monarchs of the sea, and this new beverage is sure to become the king of refreshments.