STORYLINE

Re: “Meal Ticket” Episode 6 Show Notes and the Eric Oeming Incident

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Mr. Abramo,

I am new to the VNN family, but not to being a showrunner. However, In all my years in the industry, with dozens of successful programs under my belt, I have never received show notes like the ones I found on my desk this morning. I think you have vastly underestimated the liabilities you have raised, and the difficult position that you have placed me, the network, and yourself in.

Since the filming of episode 6 with Eric Oeming yesterday, my phone has not stopped ringing. I have had to bump emergency meetings, for more emergency meetings. As you know, we have had many high profile issues lately, and we can not afford another public incident. However, I am learning to lead with positivity, so let me address what we can partially agree on. The first part of your note states:

“VNN came to me with this development deal because you were hungry for locally produced content. At the very beginning, I informed you that I didn’t want to do anything demeaning or harmful to my brand. I wasn’t interested in doing anything rehashed, schlocky, or outdated. If I was going to put together a feast for the eyes of your viewers, it was going to be something I could be proud of in 20 years. I didn’t want to create something that I’d have to quickly change the channel when it came on. You promised me all of your resources, and complete autonomy, but I’m beginning to feel like you shorted my delivery. I don’t feel like you’re respecting my vision, and what I’m trying to cook up here.

“Meal Ticket”, isn’t just another reality dating show. It’s a chance for people to know that you really can have your steak and eat it too. It’s stories of love tragically lost, and found anew. It’s the dream of meeting someone under false pretenses, who has a lot of money, that you don’t necessarily dislike, and competing to marry them. Without our gentle nudge, many of these wealthy widows and widowers might spend the rest of their lives eating alone. This is about the hunt for life and love, an ancient play, performed against the backdrop of the finest chop house in the world, while a lavish dinner is served. New prospective dates arrive with each course, allowing viewers to see love, and a perfectly crafted meal progress before their eyes. Nobody has done anything this close to artistic perfection before, so why are you making substitutions to my recipe?”

While we do support the artistic vision of our show partners, I think you might have overestimated how much new ground your hidden camera dating show is breaking. My office is always open should you need anything. If you had only taken advantage of my open door policy, we might have avoided the nightmare we are currently in. You further write:

“This Eric Oeming episode should have been our best yet, but he was awful! I refuse to believe that it is too soon for the most famous man who has ever lived, to get back into the swing of things with a motivated young lady. There’s no way he should be single! It’s been over nine years since his family was killed in that explosion and his return to work. How long can you mourn? If anything, he should be thanking me. Instead, he’s so damn humorless that his lawyers are threatening to come after me for not getting a signed waiver to record him. They’re also going on with some nonsense about false pretenses and statements, as if lying to someone to include them in a reality show is a crime. He’s a public figure, I’m sure there are people lying to him all day long. This has been a great reminder to me that no good deed goes unpunished. If he and his team of lawyers wants a fight, that’s just what they’ll get! Bob Abramo is not one to be truffled with!”

I hardly know where to begin with this statement. I think you have misjudged how big your seat is at the table. In addition to being the most famous man who has ever lived, and one of the most beloved residents of Lahaina, Eric Oeming owns our parent company, do you know what that means? I won’t even get into the rumors about what happens to individuals who get on his wrong side, since the attack.

According to Oeming’s people he was told that he was being presented with something called the “Aloha Spirit” award for his lifetime of work promoting the love and ingenuity of the Hawaiian people. The only reason that he agreed to attend, is that his long-time friend “Uncle” Ralph Umeke was supposed to be presenting the award. Of course we both know this was a lie. Mr. Umeke personally told me, “I’d give up the noodle shop before I’d be involved with a monster like Abramo, and I’d never knowingly subject Eric to what amounts to a speed dating show about gold-diggers. It’s repugnant, and Abramo better hope I don’t see him walking down Front Street!”

Let me be clear, your conduct in this matter has been reprehensible. Beginning immediately, we are cancelling “Meal Ticket”. This episode, and all previously shot episodes, will never, ever air. We’re sending a team to your offices and restaurant to claim: all equipment, any copies you might have, any dailies, unused footage, and any promotional materials. I’ll remind you that we are allowed, under your contract, to go through: any personal accounts, cloud storage, computers, and physical files at your office, place of business, and home. In addition, we are: cancelling your Phxicom account, dropping your subscription to VNN network channels, cutting off your access to our chat bots and AI’s, and it’s my understanding that Lisa Hunt is beyond furious. I’m going to need you to come down to the offices this afternoon, so I can collect your badge and commissary card. I would suggest you spend the morning considering how you can mend fences, and think of a way to survive the wrath of Ms. Hunt. I’m afraid you’ve bitten off more than your fair share of trouble this time Mr. Abramo.

Jake Tripper
Vice President of Special Programming
VNN

STORYLINE

Popular VNN Show Put on Hiatus After Drone Crashes Into Condominium

A drone filming the popular Veil News Network (VNN) show “The Beach Report” crashed into the Aloha Shores condominiums early this morning, causing serious damage to several units. While nobody was injured in the crash, this is the second incident involving drones filming the show in the past month. Officials are still investigating the incident and no charges have been filed at this time. VNN has temporarily canceled the show pending an investigation, and the FAA says it is gathering information on the case.

Along with its sister show “Veil-Curious”, an arts and leisure show that focuses on bar reviews, embarrassing tourists, and the location of a particular Italian ice vendor, The Beach Report is one of VNN’s most successful programs, especially among the 18-34-year-old demographic. It reports on temperature, wave height, wind, and “all the weather and water conditions you need to enjoy the sand and surf,” according to its programming description on the VNN website. Critics however claim that in practice, the show is nothing more than a way for viewers to ogle beachgoers. They say the show’s real-time target voting has lead to frequent unsavory viewing and recent accidents.

Officials say that The Beach Report drone began following a group of tourists heading to the beach early this morning. After being followed for a few hours, they took a Hailoha downtown in an attempt to evade the camera but were unsuccessful. The group then ran into Aloha Shores to call the police. Witnesses say that the drone tried to follow them, hitting a number of units, breaking windows, and causing exterior damage, before eventually crashing into the pool.

This is not the first time that a Beach Report drone has been involved in an accident. Earlier this month the show was in the headlines after a drone reportedly collided with a tour helicopter filled with some of the day’s most “popular” beach visitors. The National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) has an open investigation in the case saying, “The NTSB is aware of the pilot’s report that she was forced to make an emergency landing to avoid a drone, but the NTSB has not yet been able to independently verify that information.”

Jake Tripper, Vice President of Special Programming, says that VNN is cooperating with authorities, and is putting The Beach Report on hiatus pending a thorough investigation. Despite the pushback on the show, and how it is run, Tripper says he believes the issues can be resolved with software updates, and stricter safety protocols.

“Look, we’re just giving the public what it wants. I agree that these incidents are troubling, but we’re working with authorities and doing our own internal investigation to make sure things like this don’t ever happen again. Having said that, you would not believe the number of complaints we’ve had about the show being on break. It’s clear that the people of Lahaina take their beaches very seriously, and understand how important real-time condition reports can be when planning your day. If in the course of getting a good look at the beach, we sometimes include someone lounging on the sand, or playing in the surf, I don’t think it’s a bad thing. There are all sorts of natural wonders to look at on our shores. The show’s “Sunburn Watch” segment has saved more young, taut, firm, bodies from skin damage, and sold more suntan lotion, than any other show on the network.”

Steve and Frank Lacey, of Lacey Property Management, say they pride themselves in taking care of their residents, and are shocked about the amount of damage the drone did. “I’m just glad that it didn’t hit one of our residents, it could have been disastrous. As far as I know, our condos aren’t in any danger of getting a sunburn, so there’s no need for their drones to be so close to the property. Something needs to be done to make sure nothing like this happens again. Once is an accident, twice is a problem,” says Frank. Still, Steve has a somewhat more optimistic view of the drone crash.

“I agree with my brother about the seriousness of this incident. Nonetheless, I think it will be ultimately good for business. It highlights just how hip and happening our community is. Aloha Shores is the preferred property destination for the vibrant young professional population of Lahaina. I mean the viewers of The Beach Report wanted to be part of the community so bad they crashed a drone into our pool. We’re located along some of the most beautiful beaches anywhere. Our residents are within walking distance of world class cuisine, and a fast growing nightlife scene. Our units boast the finest in eco-friendly furnishings and accouterments. Our poolside furniture is composed of pesticide free, non-GMO grasses and vines. We serve locally grown and roasted coffee, a wide variety of free-trade-heirloom teas, and organic hand-seeded melons in our communal breakfast nooks. All of our tiki mugs are handmade by local artisans, and the poolside umbrellas are made from repurposed awning materials from some of the oldest buildings on Front Street. We care about what you care about at Aloha Shores, and it shows. We have a limited number of units available, call today!”

Officials say they are still taking witness statements, and going over the scene of the accident, but Veilcorp attorney Harold Breen released a statement this morning which reads in part, “We are working openly with authorities and are grateful that nobody was hurt in this incident. Veilcorp and VNN take safety very seriously.”

STORYLINE

Lahaina Man Guided By VNN Traffic Drones Leads Police On High Speed Chase

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Lahaina Police arrested a motorist Thursday evening who ran through a traffic checkpoint on Lahainaluna Road, just East of the Lahaina bypass. Authorities had just closed part of the road due to flooding from the unusually heavy rains this week, when they observed a van approach. They say Craig Luahi, a 43-year-old Lahaina resident, drove up to the checkpoint at approximately 7:00 p.m. appearing agitated. Officers informed him that the road was closed, and he’d have to find an alternate route, but they say he disregarded their instructions and drove through the checkpoint “at a dangerously high rate of speed.” Police would chase Luahi for almost 2 hours through the rain, and over the trails of Lahaina, as he, and the public used VNN traffic drones to help him evade the authorities. Lauhi says he was just trying to get home to watch his favorite show.

With lights flashing and sirens blaring, officers chased Lauhi’s 2040 minivan as he sped East towards a group of county workers on the road attempting to flag him down. Witnesses say Craig shook his head, pointed up at a pair of VNN drones, and kept driving. The workers were forced to jump off the road to avoid being hit.

For the next 2 hours authorities chased Lauhi across most of Lahaina, and parts of the preservation zone, while he followed directions from the public, aided by VNN “Traffic Time” drones. From Front Street to the West, to Wahikuli Gulch, and South to Tanager Lane, Craig evaded capture driving though yards and down trails. He was eventually stopped when his van became stuck in mud while trying to cross Honokohau Ditch. Lauhi told authorities that he was sorry, but was just trying to get home and stream his favorite show.

“I just wanted to sit on my couch and binge on the next three episodes of “Meal Ticket.” They were debuting that night, and I had had a terrible day at work. I wanted to sit back and watch a bunch of people try to convince a billionaire that they’d make the perfect spouse over diner. You can always tell who’s given up by how much dessert they eat. Anyway, when I saw that my route home was closed I was devastated. I flipped on Traffic Time to see how many roads were closed and complain, when someone who lives on the other side of the roadblock said the road wasn’t completely washed out yet, and I could probably make it. I know I shouldn’t have, but I just really wanted to kick my feet up and settle in for the evening,” Lauhi told reporters.

“I watch Traffic Time a lot, especially on the weekends when downtown is packed with tourists. The real-time updates and user tips help me avoid the worst parts of town, and as it turns out, the police too. I couldn’t believe how helpful the users were, it was like they wanted me to watch those new episodes as badly as I did. They requested the drones move to areas I was approaching, and kept one on me at all times to help spot anything I missed. That allowed me to focus on my driving, which was good because they were leading me down some questionable routes. I eventually got stuck trying to jump a ditch in the van and the police caught me, which was probably best.”

Lauhi was charged with obstructing government operations, resisting an order to stop a motor vehicle, reckless driving, six counts of reckless endangering in the 2nd degree, and interacting with a Ceremplant stream while operating a motor vehicle. He was released on $50,750 bail this morning. However, many law enforcement officials claim that VNN is at least partially responsible for the incident, and are calling for new restrictions on the Traffic Time program.

Jake Tripper, VNN Vice President of Special Programming, says he was shocked to hear about the program’s involvement in the incident. “Traffic Time is about providing the hard working people of Lahaina with the fastest and most accurate information possible during their commute, and trips across the island. We are shocked and disappointed that our drones were used in such a dangerous way,” Tripper says. “We have always relied on the wisdom and speed of the crowd to help direct our drones, but it might be time to rethink those guidelines, as well as our policy to never delete forum comments. There’s always been some terrible things in there, but up until now it’s just been abhorrent, not criminal.”

For Lauhi’s part, he says he’s sorry, and has learned a valuable lesson.

“I apologize to: the police, everyone I put in danger last night, and everyone who’s property I might have damaged while fishtailing around Lahaina. I just got caught up in things. I’d also like to thank everyone on Traffic Time who tried to help me get home. We didn’t do the right thing, but it fills my heart with love to know that you would break the law, just to help a neighbor get home and watch his favorite show. The Aloha spirit is alive and well in Lahaina!”

STORYLINE

Your Food Delivery Service Is Pretty Awesome!

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Hello business dudes and dudettes. I thought I’d take a moment to share just how awesome your Hailoha Eats service is. It’s changed the way I eat. I mean not the way I physically eat; I still do it with my mouth and stuff. I mean the way I look forward to my meals everyday. I’m an artist, but I never thought of food as art before. You’ve really opened my eyes. Nothing is perfect though, so I’d like to suggest a few improvements along with my praise.

When I saw the flyer about Hailoha partnering with Veilcorp to make a pilot food delivery service I was confused as to how they’d get the food up there to them. Then my buddy explained that in this case pilot meant like a one time thing to see if it worked and had nothing to do with flying. That made a lot more sense so I thought we’d give it a try.

One of the things I liked right away was that it was a 24/7 kind of thing. That fit perfectly with my lifestyle. I’m currently taking a break from the rat race that was art school and spending some much needed recharge time at my mom’s beach house. I spend a lot of time relaxing with my friends and just trying to be chill. This really messes up my eating schedule. It’s hard to find a place that serves breakfast when you don’t get up until noon. Sometimes we chill so hard that we forget to eat until our bellies are rumbling at 3am or something, and before your service we’d just have to stay awake until the sun came up and the cafe’s opened.

I won’t lie, I was a little shocked at the prices but I get a pretty good chunk of change from my trust fund every 3 months so I can afford it. I’m not saying that it’s too expensive, I guess. All the food is Veiled over to the island from across the world so I guess that takes a lot of organization and working together. I hate having to go down to the store with everyone’s drink order so I can’t imagine what a hassle working with thousands of restaurants across the world is.

At first we played this game where we’d pick a 3 course meal at random. I’d spin the globe in the study, close my eyes and stop it with a finger until we had places to order from. We ate a lot of weird stuff that way, but we also got to try things we normally wouldn’t. It was kinda fun but then we hit gold with the holy trinity of food. Nothing, I repeat nothing finishes a hard day of hanging out like a savory Moroccan pigeon tagine, followed with some chili crab from Singapore for heat, and some sweet Argentinian dulce de leche empanadas. We’ve had it every night for almost 2 weeks now. There’s no way anyone could complain in good conscience about prices after experiencing that meal. It’s like having the gods of flavor dance on your tongue.

I didn’t think it would be at first, but being able to pick your delivery driver has turned into a huge plus for me. The first guy that showed up was late and left his brights on when he came to the door which is a huge foul. Cold food and blinding light was not how I wanted my night to wrap up. Then we had a lady that just wanted to talk about everything. She wanted to know where we were from and all kinds of stuff. Greg got freaked out and ran into his room. It took about an hour for all the tension to leave after she did. Then we got Mark. That dude was born to deliver food. He calls to confirm when he is on his way so nobody who forgot we ordered food is surprised. He turns off the lights before he turns into the driveway, it’s like he thinks of everything. He even leaves a handful of peppermint candies with every order. Mark is a huge part of why we use your service every day.

The onsite cameras are a mixed bag for me. At first I appreciated the monotony of watching people prep and make food during the middle of the night. Having something I could zone out on was cool and especially useful if I’d been partying too hard. The problem was that we’d occasionally see stuff that wasn’t so appetizing. It turned out that the overnight guy at our favorite pizza shop had a itch he couldn’t seem to scratch no matter how hard he tried, and man did he try. He scratched himself often and everywhere. The pies just didn’t taste the same after we saw how they were made. We also had a custom cake place we used to get dessert from all the time until we saw that the head baker liked to keep his hands warm inside his assistants pants. They’d go at it on the prep tables making adultery angels in the piles of flour. When we saw that they’d still use the flour, we stopped ordering pastries. I filled out all the proper complaint forms of course, but I guess I’m just the kind of guy who believes ignorance is bliss.

So there it is. Maybe have a no camera option so people don’t get caught going down that rabbit hole and more Mark. Leave everything else the same. Feel free to pass my feedback on down the line. If you’re ever looking for someone to do like testimonials or be a spokesperson or something hit me up. I’m pretty articulate and a good looking dude who could use a side gig that doesn’t take too long. My chili crab bill is starting to get crazy.

Very satisfied customer,
Jake Tripper