STORYLINE

Researchers Working On Method to “Clone” Your Favorite Meal

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Most people have a favorite meal or a food they crave. Surveys have shown that the average diner chooses one of four regular options 90% of the time they go out to eat. While the number of our favorites may be small, their tastes can vary widely depending on many things such as: method of cooking, initial seasoning, and quality of product. The truth is not every T-bone tastes the same; but what if there were a way to save parts of a perfectly prepared meal, and have it duplicated exactly to your liking? According to biologist and food science researcher Thomas Mencken, that tasty dream may soon be a reality.

Son-in-law to Lahaina meat mogul Bob Abramo, Thomas says that he has always had a passion for pushing the boundaries of food science. “You don’t marry Bob Abramo’s daughter without having a serious love of all things grilled or broiled,” he says. In fact, it was his wedding cake that inspired his latest research.

“Like many couples we put part of our cake in the freezer after our wedding. We were so excited to share another wonderful bite together on our one year anniversary, that we could hardly wait for it to thaw. I remember the look in Brandi’s eyes when I fed her the first piece. That twinkle went flat, and the smile left her face as she struggled to chew. Then I took a bite. It was like chewing on a sponge. All the moisture was gone and the frosting was disgusting. Our memento of that day had turned into a crumbling nightmare. It was then that I knew we had to find a way to reproduce those special foods, and make them taste exactly the way we remembered them.”

With the help of his Vereserum partners that is what Thomas is doing. The researchers have devised a method to drape a stem cell matrix over organic latticing, to rapidly “grow” clones of food samples. The idea is that people would be able to save representative parts of a good meal, and have that meal reproduced exactly whenever they wish. Although the process is currently very expensive and it takes a few hours to grow a 10 oz. ribeye, Abramo Holdings spokesperson Brandi Essen says she is confident that customers will be able to eat cloned meals in her father’s chop house in the near future.

“While it’s true that these cloned meals taste like a million dollars, we’re trying to slightly lower their million dollar price tag. Our research is really cooking though, and I’m sure we’ll have figured out a way to make these meals faster soon, even if it may be awhile before they’re on the specials menu. Food holds a unique place in all of our hearts. There’s no denying that the smell of freshly baked bread, or bacon frying in a pan holds good memories for many of us. Pictures and videos may give you a glimpse of the past, but nothing satisfies your nostalgic cravings like a meal prepared just like your grandmother would make it. That’s what this work is about. Making the meals of your lifetime over and over again.

Whether it’s: facial recognition ordering, feeding Lahaina’s homebound, or providing free-range, 100% organic heart valves to patients, Abramo Holdings is always pushing the boundaries of food science. With the help of our Vereserum partners I’m sure that we’ll be able to offer these special memories on a plate very soon.”

Famed botanist and Vereserum’s Head of research Dr. Adler Walters admits that he was initially skeptical about the prospect of cloning meals for high-end clients, but is now excited about the possibilities the technology holds. “We’re basically making Nuuskin booths for meals,” he says.

“I’ve devoted most of my life to solving the global food crisis. Be it plants resistant to virtually all fungal and phytoplasmal infections, like the King Coconut or creating a comprehensive growable food source like the Kukenroot, my work has been focused on helping those most in need. You can imagine my surprise when I was told that the company wanted me to spend my precious time on cloning steaks for Lahaina’s rich and famous. It’s safe to say that my initial reaction was not a positive one. However, once Thomas explained his vision to me, and I saw the size of the check Abramo Holdings had donated to the research, I began to see its potential. I am confident that in the near future we will be able to produce life sustaining meals in the lab for food vulnerable populations, and maybe even recreate someone’s favorite fancy diner.”

STORYLINE

Environmental Group Demands Billboards Be Removed From the Preservation Zone

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The Lahaina Conservation Association (LCA) has announced today that they have sent a demand letter to Bob Abramo and filed an official complaint with the mayor’s office requesting that the controversial Abramo Chop House and Meat Museum signs be removed from the preservation zone. Mr. Abramo’s office says that the signs act as an important safety feature for tourists who may become lost, by offering recognizable landmarks and extending wifi coverage to the entire zone.

Not counting the infamous case of the Hower family who became lost while hiking along the Pali Trail, misplaced or disoriented tourists were not a major problem around Lahaina. Last year that began to change. 2047 saw dozens of official searches and a handful of legal cases claiming that the trails were dangerous and that the county was slow to respond to reports of missing visitors. Many worried about the complaints draining limited resources and hurting tourism. A call for more clearly marked trails and an expansion of wifi service was put out. That call was answered by Bob Abramo.

Known more for his meat-centric businesses and his real estate holdings, many were skeptical of Abramo’s intentions. According to LCA spokesperson Kimberly Hekili that skepticism was correct, “Mr. Abramo clearly knew that he was bending the rules of the agreement he signed with the county. While it’s true that his billboards are recognizable and expand coverage through the preservation zone thanks to the Phxicom wifi towers mounted on top, they are hideous. People travel from around the world to enjoy the raw natural beauty of our wild places, not be assaulted with billboards with bad puns like: ‘You never saw sausage place!’ or ‘We’ve got a lot on our pâté!’ The advertisements are clearly against preservation zone rules and we are demanding that they be removed immediately.”

10 billboards in total are spread throughout the zone and along the trails. Each of them tells how far you are from Abramo’s wildly popular eatery and points in its direction. The public response was quick and loud. Many called for a boycott of Abramo businesses until the billboards were removed. Others found the signs kitschy and amusing. However, officials were not amused and ordered Robert to take the billboards down. Abramo refused and a legal battle began. While the case has been going on for almost a year, insiders say that an agreement is near and will be announced by the end of the week.

“I’m not really sure what all the fuss was about,” says Abramo.

“Like my steaks, I think our signs are extremely tasteful. The county had a problem and I solved it for them. I’ve met every condition of our contract. The Phxicom towers we’ve provided now cover the entire zone like a tasty peppercorn sauce. Each sign is easily spotted and points in the direction of civilization and deliciously tender ribs. If the mayor’s office had a problem they should have said something during construction. The bottom line is that the county doesn’t have a leg to stand on. This was a federally sanctioned project and we met all of the FCC criteria present in the agreement. The reality is that we could mount a thousand foot tower every fifteen feet and the county, city, or state couldn’t say word boo. However, I’m not completely unreasonable. We offered to shut off the lights, even though that defeats the whole purpose if you ask me.”

Preservation Zone Compliance Liaison Elizabeth Stonegate says she has worked hard to resolve the issue which she blames on “underwhelming” legal advice from inside the mayor’s office. She resents the intrusion of the environmental group, warning that it may upend a tentative agreement reached over the weekend. “The LCA is completely out of their depth,” Stonegate says.

“If a demand letter was all we needed to void this contract the situation would already be resolved. Ms. Hekili’s ineffectual attempt to make her organization relevant in this situation is laughable. This in not the first time Kimmy has tried to assert herself. It seems like whenever she reads that a problem regarding the preservations zone is about to be solved, she sticks her nose in and claims victory. It’s actually a little sad. As I’ve told her before, the adults have everything well in hand, so she doesn’t need to worry. She should feel free to return to the kids table and look at all of her participation trophies. We’ve already reached a provisional agreement without her help, that I believe will make everyone happy. Details will be released in a few days and I look forward to seeing how the LCA plans on taking credit.”

STORYLINE

The Abramo Meat Museum Is Unfit for Public Consumption

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After contacting representatives from the Department of Health, the Mayor’s Office, and the Better Business Bureau, it has become apparent to me that I will be receiving very little help regarding my complaints about the Abramo Meat Museum. Since the officials of Lahaina have shown that they have no interest in addressing this public hazard, I’m writing this letter-to-the-editor in the hopes that it will save at least one family from going through the ordeal that we have over the past few days. What was supposed to be a dream vacation has turned into a bloody nightmare. No matter what you’ve heard, or how fun you might think it would be, I urge everyone to stay away from this dangerously run disease factory.

For almost 20 years it had been a dream of mine to return to Lahaina with the extended family. Four generations of us have been married along the beautiful beaches, and I wanted to share my love of the people and this wonderful place with my daughter and her family. When we finally found a time that worked for everyone after all these years, it seemed like fate was finally on my side. Everything was spectacular for the first few days, until my grandson heard about the Abramo Meat Museum from the concierge at the hotel. He was obsessed. All he could talk about was visiting the “monument to all things meat.” Since I’m a fan of all things kitschy, I offered to take the kids and give my daughter and son-in-law a day to themselves. It was one of the worst decisions of my life.

I knew something was wrong immediately, but didn’t trust my instincts. When someone walks into the museum they are greeted with a sign that reads like the preamble to a manifesto: “Meat, the life giving flesh from tasty animals, has contributed to the welfare of man since the dawn of time. The muscle and sumptuous fatty tissues have supplied us with the protein we needed to build empires, and the energy necessary to construct the wonders of the world. Take a walk with us now down the road of meals past, back to the very first hunt and learn why we celebrate special occasions with a big juicy steak and not a salad.”

The museum does have an impressive collection of meat and butchery related objects, but it was not the delightfully quirky homage to meat that I was expecting. Instead, I found the exhibits to be full of misinformation and have an alarming seriousness to them that made me uneasy. While I was looking at a collection of blood-stained cleavers on the wall, my grandson asked if he could take his little sister to Oxtail Junction, the kids area of the museum. I told him to go ahead. That was my second huge mistake of the day.

After a few more minutes of looking at various butchery tools in display cases, I turned the corner to find my grandson staring at a mural with his mouth wide open. It wasn’t until I was standing next to him that I realized what it was we were looking at. This section of the museum was dedicated to stories of failed expeditions and people who were forced to practice cannibalism in order to survive. The mural was a horrific depiction of the Donner Party along with the recipe for something called, “Pioneer Meatloaf.” My grandson looked at me and asked, “If we get lost can we eat Trisha?” Before I could tell him that we would not be eating his sister, or explain that it was highly unlikely that those starving pioneers brought a meat grinder with them, I heard my granddaughter crying.

I found her in the kids area standing in front of a working meat slicer with her doll in one hand, and the doll’s feet in another. Sitting a few feet away was an obviously inebriated employee in an ill-fitting uniform with a star on his chest, and a ridiculously small hat. “I’m Sheriff Short Rib,” he croaked. I asked him how he could let a 4-year-old turn on a slicer and ruin her doll. I screamed at him about how irresponsible it was to have a working meat slicer in an area designated for children. His only response was, “We’d all have more fun if we followed the rules,” and pointed to a list on the wall. I couldn’t speak for a few seconds because I was so furious, but my anger disappeared when I saw my grandson run into the room chasing another little boy with a knife.

Before I could scream for him to stop, he smacked the other child in the back and yelled, “Tag!” It was then that I noticed the first child also had a knife. I stopped the pair and asked what on Earth they were thinking running around with knives like that, and they pointed to the next room were a number of children were chasing each other with various butchery tools. I turned to the sheriff and asked if he planned on doing anything about it, and he yelled out, “We’d all have more fun if we followed the rules,” and gestured vaguely to the list on the wall.

It was the final straw. I told my grandson that we were leaving and turned to get his sister. That’s when I noticed poor little Trisha was standing in front of the sausage casing machine, eating the mix straight out of the extruder, with a line of children behind her. I shrieked, and my grandson asked how many sausages I thought we could make out of his sister. To be honest, I don’t remember leaving. The next thing I recall is walking through the parking lot, carrying Trisha, and warning anyone who would listen, not to go in the museum. However, unbeknownst to me, I was not done dealing with the fallout of our 20 minute visit.

It was only a few hours later that Trisha started to become violently ill. While her brother asked me if I thought she was still safe to eat, I got directions to the nearest hospital. The doctors say it was the most aggressive case of food poisoning they had ever seen. I had to call my daughter to cut her day short, it was so severe. For the next 3 days they nursed Trisha back to health, and I had to explain to my son-in-law why his boy was suddenly obsessed with eating his sibling. When we called the museum to complain, they denied all responsibility saying Trisha was probably suffering from, “the meat sweats.”

Betsy Kaukau, a health inspector from the Department of Health, is the only official to take our concerns seriously so far. She says she will do everything she can to make sure another family doesn’t have to go through what we have. I’ve also contacted a lawyer and we’re looking into any, and all legal options. In the meantime, it is my hope that this letter forces other Lahaina officials to take action, and serves as food for thought to anyone thinking of visiting this disaster waiting to happen. In short, the Abramo Meat Museum is rotten to the core.

STORYLINE

Bob Abramo Opens Meat Museum

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How much do you know about the food you eat? If you’re like most people, probably not a whole lot. While interest in locally sourced food and organic farming processes has increased greatly over the years, the day-to-day realities of modern farming and the history of food production remains a subject that most don’t know a lot about. Bob Abramo wants to change all that with the opening of his Museum of Meat History.

Built alongside his famous Chop House, Abramo says that the history of meat has consumed him from an early age and he looks forward to helping people devour the subject. He hopes the exhibits, “stimulate and inform visitors palettes, provide a better understanding of how important the big 3 meats (beef, pork, lamb) are to civilization, or simply offer a welcome distraction while waiting for your table to open.”

Upon entering the museum, visitors are greeted with a sign which reads:

“Meat, the life giving flesh from tasty animals, has contributed to the welfare of man since the dawn of time. The muscle and sumptuous fatty tissues have supplied us with the protein we needed to build empires, and the energy necessary to construct the wonders of the world. Take a walk with us now down the road of meals past, back to the very first hunt and learn why we celebrate special occasions with a big juicy steak and not a salad.”

While the museum may not be to everyone’s taste, the exhibits are interesting and informative. A walk through the “aisles of history” offers visitors an understanding of the contrast between today’s meat supply and a time when most had to rely on the hunting of wild animals. Special attention is paid to failed expeditions by pioneers and explorers such as the famous Donner party, explaining how creative butchering and better rationing could have saved some of those doomed to starvation. The exhibit walks visitors through the history of early butchering techniques and the amazing advances in meat science including faster-growing animals, more efficient culling techniques, and what deliciously grilled treats the future may hold.

“Mr. Abramo wants to make visitors hungry for history,” says assistant cureator Brandi Essen. “We go back to the very beginning. There has been a link made between meat-eating and an increase in the size of our brains. There’s evidence that neanderthals may have been eaten by anatomically modern humans, solidifying our place on the food chain. Some of our earliest tools were made to handle butchering. They’ve found bones with cut marks over two-and-a-half million years old. Even the ability to make fire was driven by a need to cook meat. Wars were fought over salt because it was so important when it came to fish and pork preservation. We dig in deep when it comes to the historical relationship between mankind and meat.”

“I understand that not everyone has the same passion for proteins that I do, I can get really worked up about it sometimes. Forget the dogs, don’t get between Me and my bones.” jokes Abramo. “I made sure to include some fun with a few interactive displays to let our visitors get their hands bloody so-to-speak. We even have a section for your little ones.” The “calves area” called “Ox Tail Junction” allows kids who might not appreciate the more academic areas of the museum, a chance to roll up their sleeves and engage more directly with their meals. They can play a number of meat-oriented games, help load wood into one of the restaurant’s many smokers, learn knife safety and the art of frenching a rack of ribs with Chef Brandi, or join the “Chopping Block Club” and adopt a locally raised piglet for later consumption. “I’ve always found that a meal tastes better when you can put a name to what’s on your plate,” adds Abramo.

On the way out, visitors can see all they learned in action by watching the Chop House’s experienced butchering staff break down animals into their delicious components before being served. The knowledgeable staff can answer any meat-related question you have, as well as give the secret to Bob’s perfect burger blend, and explain why you should always use natural casings when making sausage. While it may not be everyone’s cup of tea, Essen hopes visitors will have a bloody good time.

STORYLINE

Excitement and Controversy Over Upcoming Veil Stop Announcement Continues

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Veilcorp and the County of Maui are set to announce the locations of the first Veil Stops at the end of the week, amid increasing excitement and swirling controversy. Many still consider the next generation public transportation system a wonder, while some worry about safety and improper government influence. A number of recent reports regarding the possible health effects, and corruption have lessened the near unanimous support for the project.

Promising to revolutionize the way we travel locally, the Veil Stop network was met with excitement across the island back in January. Veilcorp said they could convert existing bus stops with little effort and could have a working system up and running within months. Since then, multiple delays, warnings from environmental groups, and corruption investigations have slowed progress and diminished public support for the project.

Mayor Albert Cravalho says that despite the controversy, he believes that the network will be a major attraction for tourists and a huge benefit to residents. “Every project is met with some sort of pushback, but I am confident that the Veil Stop network will change the day-to-day lives of many for the better. In spite of a few activists using bad science and rumors to derail the project, many business owners and residents see the possibilities that the Veil Stops afford and are excited.”

Inventor and technology gadfly Ano Lee is one such business owner. He has been pushing to have an out of service bus stop near his maker commune reopened as part of the pilot program. Lee says that the expansion of the preservation zone ended all public transportation in his area, and the Veil Stop project would return the valuable service to his neighbors and his business.

“Preservation zone rules have kept viable public transportation options out of the area, but the Veil Stop network could change all that. I think the old bus stop down the road is the natural choice. People have to understand what a hot-spot my Chacki Hut has become. Sure, tourists come to Lahaina for the crystal clear water, lush forests, and scenic cliffs. However, the hut is now rated as one of the most popular tourists destinations on a variety of social media outlets. Our selection of peel-n-stick LED lights is second to none, and as far as I know, there is nothing like our custom bobblehead machines anywhere on the island. Since we’re a little off the beaten path, I think it’s only natural that the pilot program start out here.”

Preservation zone compliance liaison to the mayor’s office Elizabeth Stonegate disagrees. She believes that the network should focus on currently active bus stops, saying that an active stop in the area would upset delicate natural areas. She counters, “There’s a reason that the bus routes in the area were discontinued, and it wasn’t to upset Ano Lee and his collection of ungroomables. The stop that Lee is pushing so hard to reopen is less than a mile from my home in Tanager Lane. As HOA president it is my job to protect my neighborhood and home values. I can assure you that the residents of Tanager Lane are not public transportation people. I’m sorry that visitors to Lee’s plastic shed will have to buy their trinkets and trance music somewhere else. There isn’t anything here for the kind of people who would visit his neck beard collective, certainly not a home in their price range. I think it is obvious that these people would be much happier in other areas of Lahaina.”

Chop House owner Bob Abramo agrees with Stonegate, and says the obvious location is one of the stops downtown. Abramo is nearing completion of a multi million dollar “Museum of Meat History” alongside his restaurant, and says that the interest in the new expansion makes his location the obvious choice. However, many have accused Abramo of using his position on the city council to unduly sway the planning committee’s decision. Known for his outlandish statements and direct manner, many are saying his “appreciation program” is a step too far, even for the larger-than-life Lahaina fixture.

He says,

“I really don’t know what all the fuss is about. You hear about people celebrating police officers and first responders all the time. I’m not saying we shouldn’t give a little extra thanks to these brave men and women, they do an incredible job. I’m just trying to recognize other public servants who are too often overlooked. I wanted to recognize those that work late hours missing diners to make sure that the paperwork was done in triplicate. I wanted to give the hardworking people who only have time for instant noodles during the day something they could appreciate. When we started looking at all the groups who put in a little something extra in our local government, one stood out immediately. I’m proud of the “Veil Stop Planning Committee Appreciation Program.” I’m offering everyone on the committee free meals this week at the Chop House. Frankly, with so many vying for their attention I thought it only right that I offered them a spot at my table to relax and make the right decision.”

The committee says they are still looking at a number of areas, and will announce the first Veil Stop locations early this Friday.

STORYLINE

Bob Abramo to open “Big Bites” store in Lahaina

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Starting tomorrow Lahaina residents will have a big choice when it comes to convenience stores. The much anticipated grand opening of Bob Abramo’s “Big Bites” store is sure to bring in meat lovers and the curious from across the island. For weeks reports of the meat-centric convenience store and some of its unique products have captured the attention of locals and tourists alike. Abramo and Manager Brandi Essen gave us an exclusive tour of the store a day ahead of the opening and talked with us about Big Bites’ mission. It was a mouthful.

Well known for his commercials where he declared, “Big Bob Abramo eats the competition,” the local real estate entrepreneur branched out into the restaurant business last year when he opened Robert Abramo’s Chophouse on Aloha Shores. It was a huge success. Banking on the positive response to the meatery, Abramo began making plans for a convenience store that would “cater to carnivores”. He says that Lahaina is just the first stop on a meat train that he plans to expand to all of Maui.

At first glance, the inside of Big Bites looks like any other convenience chain. Coolers on the back wall contain a variety of beverages. Racks of chips, pretzels, and other salty snacks face the front door, but that’s where the similarities end. “We have a few of the essentials that everyone goes to a convenience store for, but if you look closely you’ll see even those items have meat options,” says Essen.

She points out a package of bacon-scented wet naps, toothpicks made of jerky, and a case of brisket flavored soda. “Our goal is to fulfill all your meat snacking needs, even the ones you don’t know you have yet,” Abramo says that samples aren’t just offered at Big Bites, they’re required. “We want to help expand your meat horizons,” he says

Big Bites boasts that they will have the biggest variety of meat snacks and meat-related products anywhere on the islands, and from the looks of it, they might be right. 46 different flavors and cuts of jerky are displayed on the wall. 20 large glass containers provide all manner of pickled meats for the aficionado. The loose meat bin offers a little bit of everything if you’re feeling adventurous, but it’s the grinding stations that Abramo is most proud of.

On the South wall, 4 of the finest hand-cranked meat grinders are arranged. “Our grinding stations are open to anyone who wants to explore the wonderful world of charcuterie. We’ll even grind meat that you purchased somewhere else for a small fee, although I have no idea why you’d buy meat from anyone else. And don’t worry about bringing casings; we have everything you need. All of our staff are knowledgeable in the art of sausage making and can answer any questions you have, or help you get started.” Most people would think that making their own mettwurst at a convenience store was an odd idea, but Abramo’s not most people. The back of the store is where he really pushes the meat envelope.

He noticeably bristles when I ask about some of the novelty products and services available there. Essen quickly steps in, saying, “We don’t consider these novelties and stand behind the deliciousness of every product. Up until now, meat lovers have been put in a box and we’re just opening the lid.”

Some of the more unusual offerings here include: crispy duck piñatas, colorfully-marinaded-meats in artistic arrangements for special occasions, and a machine called the Meat Twister. For $10 a customer can stand inside the clear plastic box while compressed air circulates cold cuts around them for the grabbing. “The kids love that thing, and you get to eat what you can grab,” Abramo says with a smile.

“Our grand opening on Friday is just the next step in turning my food dreams into reality. I plan on spreading Big Bites across the islands like a luscious pâté. This isn’t just a store to me, it’s the start of a delicious meat movement.”

STORYLINE

New Abramo Chop House Menu Unveiled

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Welcome to Robert Abramo’s Chop House on Aloha Shores.

We pride ourselves on being a meat eater’s dream. All of our beef is USDA Prime, and our pork is organic and locally sourced. Our meats are all hand carved from the whole animal to ensure quality and value. You may be wondering why there are no vegetarian, chicken, or seafood main courses on the menu. Simply put, we believe that “higher animals” taste the best and that vegetables are best used to feed our 4-legged entrees.

APPETIZERS

Baked Goat Cheese with Roasted Garlic – 11

Grilled Artichoke with Roasted Garlic Aïoli – 11

Teriyaki Short Rib Bites – 15

Fried Calimara – 15

Jumbo Lump Crab Cake – 17

Seared Rare Wild Yellowfin Tuna (Ahi) – 17

Wild Jumbo Shrimp Cocktail – 17

SOUPS & SALADS

New England Clam Chowder – 11

Crab Bisque – 11

French Onion with Gruyère – 12

Tableside Caesar for Two or More price per person – 12

Roasted Beets & Garrotxa Goat Cheese – 14

Crunchy Iceberg Wedge with bacon, tomato, & blue goat cheese – 14

PRIME STEAKS

Less than 3% of all beef in the U.S. is graded USDA Prime. Each of our hand-cut steaks is cooked in a broiler to sear the outside keeping the inside tender, juicy, and delicious. All of Robert Abramo’s steaks are cooked with seasoned butter and guaranteed to satisfy your primal hunger.

All served with choice of baked potato, garlic mashed potatoes, French fries, or pulled pork
Prime Top Sirloin 10 oz. – 33

Filet Mignon 8 oz. – 44

Filet Mignon 12 oz. – 52

Bone-In Filet Mignon 14 oz. – 59

Prime Ribeye 16 oz. – 49

Prime New York Strip Steak 14 oz. – 46

DRY AGED FOR 28-35 DAYS

Prime Kansas City Strip Steak 18 oz. – 57

Prime Split-Bone Ribeye 20 oz. – 59

Prime Tomahawk Ribeye Chop 42 oz. – 96

Prime Porterhouse 32 oz. – 98

We also offer “Big Bob’s Birthday Steaks” If you give us some warning, we’ll slaughter, carve the cut of your choice and age your meat specifically for your birthday!”

ADD TO YOUR STEAK
Brandi peppercorn sauce – 3

mushrooms and onions – 6

bacon and blue cheese – 11
Our Oscar offer! We would be happy to provide lump crab, asparagus, and hollandaise – 16

The Famous Long Pig Buffet

Our long pig buffet is 10 feet of the the best pork on the island. Deciding which of our 5 different mouth watering preparations is the best can be a most dangerous game. Choose from: 8oz chops, hand-pulled smoked pork, banana leaf roasted loin, red wine braised short rib, and hoisin-honey pork belly.

All you can eat – $50

Our menu is all organic and is specially designed to accommodate a wide variety of carnivorous tastes. We strive to use locally-raised organic meats as much as possible.

-Big Bob Abramo