STORYLINE

Lahaina Inventor Unveils Poi “Tasting” Technology

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There is no food more synonymous with Hawaii and Hawaiian culture than poi. The smashed taro and water mixture is a staple at any Luau and your tutu’s table, but there’s no doubt that the mixture is an acquired taste. Now, Lahaina inventor Ano Lee thinks he has come up with a way to convince you to eat your poi. He’s on a mission to ensure that every batch you eat is perfect and he’s invented the machine he says can do just that.

Besides being one of the most common foods on any Hawaiian table, poi is also one of the island’s most dubious offerings. While being one of the best probiotic foods available to consumers, the taste and texture can be hard for the uninitiated to appreciate. That is where Lee comes in.

Ano says that he has always been a fan of poi and believes that most people who aren’t just had a bad batch. Inspired by recent research in meat tasting technology at the University of Maui Lahaina College, Lee has created a device that can “taste” a batch of poi and gives it a rating.

“Good poi is about taste and texture. I’m no expert at making it, I have partners for that part of the process, but I know what’s good and I’ve transferred that knowledge to my technology. The machine, tastefully highlighted with a premium lighting package, measures salinity, pH, mineral content as well as a smoothness score. Users can compare these values against an ideal to ensure that they’ve used quality taro, cooked it properly, and processed it enough. There are 3 different preloaded music settings with room for all your tunes so you can enjoy your quality control testing. It can even detect many common poisons and radioactivity levels if you’re making poi near any type of industrial accident. As one of its oldest dishes, poi will continue to revolutionize the Hawaiian table.”

Roy Ananas, Lee’s partner in the poi business, says that he knows that a poi tasting machine sounds like a strange idea but he is confident in the technology. He points out the success the pair has had with revitalizing the pineapple business in Hawaii. Lee’s automated drones have made Ananas Farms a leader in Hawaiian agriculture and he believes they can add the world’s best poi to their product line with Lee’s new machine.

“I know he can come on a little strong but his machine is the real deal. I truly believe that the poi we’ve perfected with the help of this technology is some of the best ever pounded with a pestle and triple cooked. The results of our taste tests have been amazing. With people saying things like, “Surprisingly edible and not very sticky,” “The first batch of poi I’ve ever had that wasn’t tasteless purple mud,” and “Not too bad,” it’s clear that we’re on to something big and moderately delicious. I expect our poi business will be booming in a few months thanks to Ano’s creation.”

While that’s good news for taro farmers not everyone is excited about the prospect of a poi tasting machine. Professional poi taster Gary Puniwale says Lee’s technology may be the final straw that breaks the back of one of Hawaii’s oldest professions and small-batch poi artisans.

“I come from a long line of poi tasters. My family is built on a foundation of watery taro and keen taste buds, but I’m glad my grandfather isn’t around to see this day. The market for poi tasters has already dwindled to the point where I only do it part-time, and this technological nightmare may be the thing that pushes my profession over the edge. They recently discovered a 600-year-old batch of poi right here in Lahaina, proving how important this product is to the spirit of the land and the Hawaiian people. I had hoped that the public interest would be the shot in the arm the profession needed. I fear now that it was a shot in the heart. When I think back to all the great jobs that we’ve lost due to “progress” like grocery bagger, projectionist, and human telemarketer it makes me sad. To think that poi tester may soon join them terrifies me. It’s been scientifically proven that the human tongue can identify thousands of variations of bland, but Lee’s device only rates poi on a five-star scale. You tell me which system sounds more advanced.”

STORYLINE

Drilling Crew Discovers 600-Year-Old Poi In Ancient Kitchen

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A drilling crew working in Western Maui made an amazing discovery, when they uncovered an ancient food preparation site, and over a dozen containers of poi. Held in handmade wooden vessels, the Hawaiian staple is thought to be over 600-years-old. While it is not unheard of to find ancient foodstuffs, it is extremely rare. Researchers say the amazingly well preserved poi is the oldest ever discovered, and the kitchen should yield valuable information about the life of ancient Hawaiians.

Last month, a Creek Propulsion’s crew was busy surveying an area as a possible geothermal well site, when they noticed bits of worked wood and bark cloth stuck in one of their drill bits. After some digging, the team discovered a wooden container filled with a solid purplish substance, and called experts at the University of Maui Lahaina College. A team from the college soon established that the site was part of an ancient kitchen, but it wasn’t until yesterday that the purple substance was identified. According to a Vereserum lab analysis, the substance found in 13 wooden pots was the world’s oldest poi.

“To be honest I’m not a big fan. To me all poi tastes like it is 600-years-old, but I’m sure whoever made this batch knew what they were doing,” says Chris Treadwell, Creek Propulsion’s Senior Vice President of Supply, Distribution, and Planning. “I’m proud of our team for having a sharp eye, and helping preserve this window into ancient Hawaiian life.” Chris says they turned over the site to Hawaiian officials and the university, but he remains in awe of the craftsmanship of the artifacts. “As an engineer I can appreciate the precision required to make these storage containers. You couldn’t just buy a bowl with a lid, or cling film when these people lived. If you wanted to store something, you had to make your own vessel. Whoever made these containers was extremely talented, the lids were perfectly air tight. It just goes to show you what someone with the time, and eye, can do with a set of basic tools.”

While Treadwill can’t speak highly enough about the craftsmanship of the ancient prep cooks, many others have expressed interest in the fruits, or in this case, poi, of their labor. A bidding war of sorts has begun this morning with Vereserum, the Lahaina Heritage Museum, the Office of Hawaiian Culture (OHC), and even Bob Abramo trying to get some of the ancient luau favorite.

“Most of my work revolves around agricultural and food sustainability, and this ancient poi may provide valuable information,” says Vereserum’s Head of research Dr. Adler Walters. “This poi predates Captain Cook’s visit by almost 400 years, and offers a glimpse at the nutritional value of the plants, and the climate before the beginning of the industrial revolution. Taro, the main ingredient in poi, has been grown in rich, volcanic soil for hundreds of years. This has led to the microbes living inside it to become highly heat and acid-resistant, making poi one of the best probiotic foods available. In fact, poi has significantly more beneficial bacteria per gram than yogurt. This poi may be the key to solving a number of common digestive problems and diseases, including food allergies, and infants suffering from failure to thrive syndrome. Our work on the Kukenroot plant has the potential to wipe out famine world-wide, and I believe study of any cultures that are still active in this poi, may be just as vital. Imagine if instead of making poi, you could just buy a taro root already mashed perfectly inside, and eating it would protect you from any stomach bug or malady. That is the potential sitting inside those old wooden bowls. We hope the State will give us access to this incredible find.”

Brandi Essen, Operations Manager of Abramo Holdings LLC., on the other hand, wants the poi for different reasons. “We want to serve it to people,” she says.

“You have to stay one step ahead of the competition in every business. That is especially true in the restaurant game. For some time we have been exploring the idea of a high-end Paleo feast concept, and this ancient poi would be the perfect side dish. We’re not talking about serving up a Komodo dragon on a platter, we’re talking about taking advantage of what the climate is making available to us. With worldwide temperatures climbing every year, more and more permafrost is thawing, and giving up well preserved ancient animals. It is only a matter of time before one is discovered that has enough meat on its bones to eat.

For years people believed that the Explorers Club served a mammoth found on Akutan Island, at their 47th annual dinner. It was the talk of the town at the time, and for over 50 years after the famous meal. While DNA analysis of a bit of the meat preserved by a guest, proved that the meal was actually green sea turtle, the idea of eating an ancient animal struck a chord with the public. Imagine if we could find active cultures in this poi, and use them to make more. Imagine the taste of a vinegar or fermented sauce made from this ancient food. Imagine the line around the block we’d have if we could offer people a true taste of our Hawaiian ancestors. You can’t put a price, or a freshness date on something like that.”