STORYLINE

Automated Maintenance Drones Keep Neighborhood In Good Repair

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Home repairs and maintenance just got a whole lot easier in one Lahaina neighborhood with the unveiling of a group of automated maintenance drones. Created and conceived by local inventor Ano Lee, the drones can take care of most external home repairs as well as handle basic construction. Under the watchful eye of Tanager Lane Homeowners’ Association President and Preservation Zone Compliance Liaison to the Mayor’s Office Elizabeth Stonegate, the drones will work as part of a Maui funded pilot program for the next 90 days. If successful, they could be deployed to handle maintenance of government buildings all over the island.

Unlike most of his creations, Lee says that the inspiration for the automated drone system came from necessity. He was facing multiple fines for preservation zone infractions and was offered a chance to do community service in lieu of paying the accumulated fines.

“The pineapple bots I designed a couple years back have been a great success and have really changed the business of pineapple farming, however the strobe lights are a problem. It turns out that they are illegal to use within 100 yards of the preservation zone because they attract insects and endanger the native hoary bat. The fine was up to $500 per incident, and they had been documenting the lights for over a year. The final tally was insane, but Elizabeth said that she might be able to work out a deal. I had been toying with the idea of repurposing the drones for other tasks, and we worked out this maintenance agreement. I just wish they had informed me of the infractions earlier so I wouldn’t have to spend the next year building maintenance drones for the County.”

“Maintenance is one of the hardest parts of being a responsible home owner,” says Stonegate. “In my experience, it’s one that many people aren’t ready to take on. In my reign as Tanager Lane President, I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve had to point out chipped paint, crooked fencing, or a loose shingle. Unfortunately, most people don’t have the initiative to keep their things nice or are just too neglectful to do proper maintenance. Making sure residents live up to basic standards and prodding the lazy, so we can all enjoy a beautiful neighborhood, has taken up countless hours over the past 12 years. Finally, I’ll have a little help and I couldn’t be more excited. I just hope that the drones can keep up with me, and adhere to my standards better than some of our residents.”

3 drones started patrolling Tanager Lane this week. They do preventative maintenance according to a pre-programmed schedule, fix any problems they come across, and help enforce preservation zone rules. The drones keep track of a materials inventory necessary to complete most repairs and are capable of ordering supplies when they run low or need to take on a special task. Lee says that he hopes to include 3D printing technology in future models.

Technology and convenience does not come cheap however. Those living inside Tanager Lane will see a substantial increase in their HOA dues this year. However, Stonegate says, “When you consider how many fines the average Tanager Lane resident pays for infractions every year and the cost of multiple repairs, the price is actually a bargain.”

The drone roll-out has been well received for the most part. Many residents welcome the system and see the automated repair drones as a convenience, but there have been a few incidents that have raised concerns.

Shelby Pio says the drones ruined her son’s 10th birthday party.

“Eric missed out on a good portion of his summer vacation with a broken leg. He’s a very active boy and it was really hard for him to stay cooped up while watching his friends play. We decided to get him a bounce house for his birthday so he could jump around all day with his friends and maybe work out some of his frustration from the past month. The kids loved it and everyone was having a good time when I went inside to make some lemonade. A minute later I heard shouting and ran out to see what the trouble was. It was the drones. They were trying to drag the bounce house away and had pierced it in the process. I had a dozen crying kids in my front yard watching their afternoon of fun fly away. I called Elizabeth and she said that structures, even non-permanent ones, weren’t allowed without a permit. I felt more deflated than the bounce house.”

Stonegate says none of the children were hurt in the bounce house incident and adds that residents better get used to having the drones enforce the rules. In fact, she says she would like to expand their duties to yard care and driveway repair as well. Ano Lee says that early tests with lawn care have not been particularly successful. “In the few tests I’ve done so far the drones haven’t been able avoid large objects. The last thing I want is for a kid to get hurt while a drone is mowing the yard.” Stonegate counters, “I’m sure most children are smart enough to move when the flying lawnmowers show up, but I understand Mr. Lee’s concern. I look forward to seeing what progress he makes in the hot asphalt and concrete department in the upcoming weeks.”

STORYLINE

New app allows public to report violations in the preservation zone

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People witnessing a violation of preservations zone rules just got an easy way to report the infractions using their smart device or their ceremplant. The Department of Land and Natural Resources (DLNR), in association with the county of Maui, created an app called PZTip. It allows you to report a violation by providing details, photos, and video of illegal or suspected illegal activity in real time.
PZTip lets people connect directly with a special group of rapid response DLNR officers who can catch violators in the act. The app allows reporters to provide information that can lead to the arrest of anyone who hunts or harasses protected wildlife species, pollutes, litters, or violates any other preservation zone rules.

“Protecting our beautiful wild places and cultural resources will be a lot easier, with the help of the thousands of eyes and ears of concerned citizens. Despite our best efforts, we haven’t figured out a way to be everywhere yet. We believe that PZTip will be a game changer for our department and our people in the field. When a citizen calls in a tip, our coordination center dispatches the closest member of our rapid-response team to investigate. In the past, catching violators in the act and tracking down offenders was exceedingly difficult. The PZTip system helps expedite tips of wrongdoing and our responses,” said DLNR senior investigator Greg Iona.

Not everyone shares the DLNR’s enthusiasm however. Ronnie Kalipalani owner of Ronnie Kalipalani Construction has been a vocal critic of the program and says it is ruining the aloha spirit of the island.

“Creating a culture of distrust and an atmosphere of fear is not what we should be about. This campaign has already interfered with my business. While we were working on building an addition to a home near the preservations zone, we found a nice little area on a nearby bluff. It was great for lunch breaks or if my crew just needed some time. I know that when I make a mistake measuring or something, it helps to take an hour or so to get my mind straight. The bluff was perfect for that. We hauled in some nice chairs, a table, and a little solar powered fridge. It was paradise, but someone must have seen us and called in a tip. Next thing you know they’ve impounded the fridge and gave me a ticket for every item in our little break room. All together it’s going to cost me almost $10,000. It’s not like we were going to leave everything up there forever. I don’t know how they expect us to keep our beer cold now. More importantly, our morale has taken a big hit. I understand that people are concerned about protecting the environment but I don’t think setting up a group of secret informants is the right way to do it.”

The PZTip app is completely anonymous, as the technology removes all identifying information before officers see tips. This anonymous feature has led to a number of complaints about false accusations and Iona admits that his office has had to deal with a number of reports that have turned out to be unwarranted. However, it is not the prank reports that has many concerned. It is the marketing campaign around the app that has some raising their eyebrows.

In conjunction with the app’s release, the county has rolled out an advertising campaign that many are calling Orwellian in nature. Signs promoting the program direct the public to report any suspected violation even if the tipster in unsure if a law has been broken. Numerous posters urge residents and tourists alike to use live recording apps such as Manimal’s X-eyez, so they can keep a complete video log of suspected violations with lines like, “Better safe than sorry!” Others seem to encourage residents to follow tourists around to ensure that they don’t break the rules saying, “They don’t live here, you do. Make sure they’re not leaving a mess!” But it is the ads targeting children that has seen the most pushback. A commercial showing a fawn tangled in plastic and urging children to report littering parents before they “kill all the little animals,” has already been pulled but others of a similar tone are still being run.

Compliance Liaison to the Mayor’s Office Elizabeth Stonegate, says that the pushback to the program is nonsense and naive. She says that having a little fear of being reported to the DLNR is healthy, and that only people breaking the law need to be afraid. “If you didn’t do the crime you won’t have to pay the fine. It’s as simple as that,” she says.

“Everyone who has a sibling, cousin, or close family member knows the power of the statement, ‘If you don’t stop doing that, I’m going to tell.’ Fear of being told on when you’re doing something wrong is the cornerstone of every successful family and functional government. Without the possibility of repercussions nobody would follow the rules or pull their weight. Most people don’t do what they’re supposed to because of some sort of intrinsic goodness or sense of duty. They do it because they’re scared of being told on. I’m sorry if the people living in Lollipop Land don’t understand that. The PZTip app is the most powerful tool we have to force people to follow the rules. If parents did a better job of teaching their children by example, we wouldn’t have to instill proper values in them through our school outreach programs. I’m sorry if it upsets the haters, but the app is here to stay.”

STORYLINE

The Lahaina Power Plant Has Got To Go!

The Power Plant Problem

Hello fellow homeowners. As my first action as your continued HOA president, (thank you to everyone who voted to re-elect me), I’d like to address the elephant in the room. We need to do something about the power plant.

I know that it has been here for a few years now, but as my mother always said, “don’t be afraid of pointing out other people’s mistakes.” I don’t know about you, but that constant hum has made it almost impossible to lay out by my pool and has caused my pets no small amount of stress. The color is awful too. I know that you can’t really see it from here, but you have to drive past it and I’d prefer my drive home to be ugly, hulking-object free. There is no reason why they couldn’t have added design elements to better match the outdoors or built shelving along the walls for potted plants.

Also, can we please talk about the word “Thorium”? As a progressive community I feel like this word brings out the worst thoughts in people. I don’t want potential home buyers to hear that word and be assaulted with images of vikings with dirty beards dripping with the blood of oppressed people. Inclusion, tranquility, and good schools within walking distance should be on the mind of every potential new home owner when they arrive, not hammers and radiation.

I know some of you may think that I’m taking on too much with the power plant, especially if I’m going to fulfill my campaign promise of having us officially moved into the preservation zone. I see the two issues as intertwined. I refuse to believe that the power plant is any less dangerous to endangered wildlife than my cats. They are animals too, and it is unreasonable that I can be punished if they happen to catch a bird or two. That is nature. It makes no sense to control nature in a nature preserve.

On a slightly unrelated note, I’d like to thank Shelby for loaning me her extra cat carrier. Because this was Elvira’s first trip to the vet, she was very nervous and had an accident inside. I did my best to clean it out, but the smell was pretty bad, and the kids were starting to complain so I had to put it outside. It’s at the end of the driveway, feel free to pick it up as soon as you can. We don’t want to leave items like that in the driveway too long. It looks trashy.

We don’t want our whole neighborhood looking trashy either and that’s what the power plant does. It’s loud, ugly, and poorly named. It is a huge danger to our home values and the Tanager
way of life. With your help and support this lioness is going to let Veilcorp hear her roar, and threaten with legal action if they don’t give in to at least some of her demands.

STORYLINE

My Tenure as HOA President will Continue Despite My New Appointment

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I have some great news Tanager Lane residents! The mayor’s office has officially recognized my strong leadership and people skills. I’m proud to announce that I have been appointed as his Compliance Liaison. It is my job to ensure that everyone in Lahaina is following the new preservation zone rules. As I’m sure you’ll agree, they couldn’t have made a better choice.

Don’t worry, I have no plans to abandon my duties as your HOA President. In fact, I’ve found the best way to lead is by example and together we will turn Tanager Lane into a shining example of compliance. Under my direction, we are going to follow the new regulations so hard and completely, that you’ll forget they’re new. I think we can all agree that some of you have a hard time remembering rules; I’m looking at you Shelby. Don’t worry! As usual, I have come up with a simple solution.

Tomorrow morning you will all find a laminated “cheat sheet” in your mailbox. It is double sided and covers everything we need to work on. (I will include the cost of the sheets and my time in the next round of HOA fees.) I suggest that you all study them carefully. I plan on conducting numerous pop quizzes so please be prepared. I recommend that you display the cards in a prominent place so nobody has an excuse for not learning the material.

Please make sure that you go over the regulations with your children. We can’t reach our goal of 100% compliance unless everyone, even your little ones, follow the rules. I know some of them have had issues in the past; again, I’m looking at you Shelby. In some ways these new rules will be a test of your parenting skills, so you can understand my concern. While I’ve tried to make the cards idiot proof, there are a couple rules that I want to hammer home so there is no confusion.

First, all debris and non-permanent items must be removed from your property. It turns out those little fire ants can set up house in almost anything that keeps them out of the sun. I am considering any item I see unattended outside as debris, and will dispose of it as such. Bikes, skateboards, and scooters are fair game. Grills, and unattended lawn furniture are on the list too. If you’re practicing your golf putting I suggest you leave the other clubs inside or carry the bag. All vehicles must be kept in your garage. No more driveway parking. I’m throwing shade on anything that could potentially provide shade.

The other issue I want to touch on is some of the new pet regulations. I know that I have been overly forgiving about pets in the past but the days of a kinder, gentler Elizabeth are gone. Your pet negligence is a direct reflection on me now. Your animals are not allowed outside off a leash ever, end of story. In fact, it would probably be best if you just didn’t take them out at all; better safe than sorry. I know that this might be an extra burden to those of you with dogs, but it was your choice to get a pet that traditionally uses the outside as a bathroom. Unfortunately, nature and the new regulations don’t have a 5-second-rule when it comes to pet waste. I’ll be more than happy to help anyone rehome their dog if they think they can’t live up to the new expectations.

I know this is a lot to take in but I’ll be right there alongside you to make sure you’re working towards our common goal. Under my leadership we can be safety conscious as well as upholding the Tanager Lane way of life. I agree that some of these new rules seem a bit extreme but protecting our beautiful natural areas is important if we want to keep our property values up. If you have any questions please refer to your cards before contacting me. Let’s show Lahaina what 100% compliance looks like!