The Story of Longboard Lei

The fracture made a lot of scary things you have to be worried about. Nobody wants to come across a green lady or a group of night marchers, but some of the biggest dangers in Lahaina don’t come from the monsters; they come from people themselves. Lots of survivors tried to make things better, like my grandpa, but lots decided to steal and take what they want also. One of the worst of those kind of people is Longboard Lei.

Nobody who lives on the water is safe from the pirate queen and her crew. They say that Lei took the weapons from all the old naval bases around the islands, and put them in a secret armory. They say that there are enough guns there to arm everyone on the island, but my dad says that it’s probably not true, and it’s just a story to make people even more scared of her.

What is true, is that Lei is a great surfer and ruthless. She hates cowardice more than anything else. In fact, if she attacks your village your best bet is to fight back. After an attack, Lei rounds up everyone who didn’t help protect their friends and they’re never see again, but she leaves the injured alone. There are lots of stories about how she got to be a good surfer and why she hates people who don’t fight back, but this is my favorite.

Lei was the daughter of a Kanaka fisherman. Along with her brothers and sisters, she would jump in her dad’s boat every morning and he whole family would go out far beyond the reefs to catch butterfish and mackerel. Her father would tell them all tales about the old world to keep them entertained. He’d talk of movies, traveling across the world in an instant, and how some people used do nothing but play games all day. Lei in particular loved hearing tales of the great old surfers, and would spend much of these fishing trips dreaming of a time when people could survive simply by being good at riding the waves.

Then Lei’s life changed forever. The fish had been harder and harder to find for months, and her dad decided to go out further than usual to look for them. They hadn’t traveled far from the usual fishing grounds when they were hit by a veilstorm. The sky changed color, the orange rain fell, and a massive surge built up beneath their tiny boat. A wave lifted them all high into the air, and the boat broke apart. It was the last Lei would ever see of her family.

The young girl awoke half drowned, clinging to a piece of wood, and floating in a cove. Something about being in the water terrified her, and she kicked as hard as she could to shore. She found herself on a rocky beach surrounded by cliffs. Lei sat for a while and considered her options. She decided to rest for a while and then swim around to see if she could find a better place to wait for help, but hours turned to days.

Every time she tried to go in the water, something inside her made her freeze. So she spent days catching slow crabs and prying snails off the rocks at low tide. She tried boiling sea water and catching the steam like her father taught her, but she wasn’t very good at it, and only collected enough water to make her even more thirsty. On the third day she began to see things and wondered how long it would be before she saw her family again. She watched the rope ladder fall down the cliff face and the old woman descend, but didn’t believe she was real until the coconut water touched her lips.

She was so thirsty that she spilled as mulch as she gulped. The woman said she had been watching Lei, and she was impressed. However, she wondered why whe never swam out of the cove to explore the island. Lei told the strange woman about her family, what had happened, and that she was scared. The woman hugged her close and said she understood because something similar had happened to her long ago.

She promised to help Lei and for the next few months the two were inseparable. While Lei talked about her friends and family freely, the old woman didn’t like to talk about her past. She told Lei that she used to be in movies and was a great surfer in her time. The girl assumed she was just trying to make her feel good until she arrived one day with a pair of crude surfboards. Seeing the skeptical look on Lei’s face the old woman said, “I was always better at riding them than building them,” and hobbled in the water. Lei was amazed! While she walked with a shuffle on land, the old woman deftly maneuvered her board in the water like she was part of the waves. It filled her with enough confidence that she ventured in the water too, and together they paddled out of the cove.

Lei saw that there were many tiny islands in the vicinity and the pair hugged when they reached the beach. For many years, the pair lived on the main beach and surfed every day. While she didn’t mind playing and swimming close to shore, she was still scared to venture out into the deep water. The old woman would take trips to one tiny island every week but refused to say why. She told Lei that if she was so curious, she could just swim out there herself and see. One night as the pair lay in their shelter the old woman hugged Lei close and told her that she was glad she had ended up on the island, and was happy that the end of her days would be spent with such a brave young woman.

The words burned deep inside Lei. As strange as it might sound, she always thought that she would be found. It never occurred to her that she might spend the rest of her life here. She decided that she needed to swim to the little island and see what the old woman was keeping there. It wasn’t a long swim, but Lei’s hands were tired from gripping her board so tight when she arrived. There was a tiny shack not far from the beach, and Lei was not prepared for what she found inside.

A beautiful but broken surfboard with a picture of a young woman who looked a lot like her old companion sat in the corner. There was a piece of driftwood adorned with shells and eight names carved into it with the words “Keep Kicking” underneath. On the wall hung a tattered wetsuit with the name, “Layla” written on the back. Lei was stunned. The old woman was the famous surfer Layal Kalani. Her father had told her stories of Layla. How brave she was, and how she was lost at sea and never found. As Lei thought about the stories, her family, and the old woman, her hands began to shake in anger.

The old woman had talked about not being afraid, but she had never tried to leave herself. She couldn’t believe that the stories her father told of the brave surfing legend who fought sharks, would just sit here and wait to die. She talked about courage but she had none inside her. Worse still, she wanted Lei to succumb to weakness and stay here herself. For the first time in her life she knew what was important. Her father was a good and hardworking man, but it didn’t matter. Her brothers and sisters were innocent and honorable but it didn’t matter. People talked of the bravery of Layla, the Queen of the Surf, but it was a lie. The only thing that mattered was not being a coward, and having the will to take and do what you wanted.

Lei put on the old wetsuit, kicked over the wooden memorial, and grabbed the largest piece of the broken board without a word to the old woman that had almost made her happy to stay on the island. They say her bitterness and anger only grew as she rode the currents. By the time she made land, the young daughter of a Kanaka fishermen was gone and Longboard Lei was all that remained. She would show everyone what someone could do when they didn’t give up and they were not afraid.

My mom doesn’t like when I tell this story to my brother because it scares him, and she says it has a terrible message. But I think it’s good because now he thinks if I get too mad at him for going through my things, I might turn into a pirate like Lei.

Akamai Mahelona
4th Grade
Pu`u School Lahaina

Museum’s Kalani Tribute Marred By Injuries and Controversial Exhibit

The surf was up and the spirits were low at the Lahaina Museum this weekend as the much anticipated Layla Kalani memorial opened to the public. Curators Balen and Maci Kiko say that thousands viewed dozens of exhibits related to Layla, and the sport she loved so much. Ranging from: surfing art and music, to a photographic history of the multi-time world champion’s life, and a look at how her board company was pushing the boundaries of surfing technology, visitors had a chance to learn more about one of Lahaina’s heros, and say goodbye one last time. At least that was what was supposed to happen. Instead, a controversial exhibit overshadowed the solemn event, sending dozens to the hospital.

Maci Kiko says she was hoping to avoid the controversy surrounding other recent high-profile Kalani memorials. “It was our intention to have something more dignified than a 30 foot tall Manimal dispensing statue with too many lights, and a horribly worded slogan. I’m sorry we couldn’t give that to the public,” she says. Ironically, it is Kalani’s friend and business partner that is at the center of the controversy surrounding the event, inventor Ano Lee.

Lee’s contribution to the memorial, the “Tube Master Tank” (TMT), was billed as “the most immersive surfing experience on land.” The machine was supposed to be one of the highlights of the exhibit, with several settings allowing fans to experience the joy of surfing, and reproductions of actual waves Kalani road during competition. However, numerous complaints, and several injuries have the Kiko’s second guessing their decision to include it.

“We really appreciate Ano’s passion, and quest to make the tank experience authentic, but I think he probably went a little too far. We wanted people to learn that surfing was more than beach blankets, energy drinks, and guitars playing with too much reverb, just as Layla was more than just a surfer. Instead of her life and legacy, the only thing people are talking about is bruises, broken bones, and the fact that he put a 112-year-old woman on a mobility scooter in the tank, and it almost killed her.” says Balen Kiko.

However, Mr. Lee says he has no regrets about the exhibit or his actions. He says that he was striving to make an experience that was as authentic, and extreme as his friend. He only wishes the public appreciated the level of realism offered by the TMT. “This isn’t just some dumb virtual reality experience in a room covered in screens, or with something stupid looking strapped to your face. This syncs with your ceremplant to offer a taste of what surfing can truly be like, and it isn’t always fun in the sun. The ocean does not come with a beginners setting, and neither does the Tube Master.”

Visitors who went in the tank were offered three settings: Expert, Wave Fighter, and Keep Kicking. Those who spent time inside had a wide range of complaints ranging from: sunburns, riptides, lengthy paddle times, long periods of calm, smelly suits, leash tangles, virtual surfers cutting in front of them during rides, and enormous waves made of Kalani’s favorite Manimal flavor, “Fightberry Punch,” which led to painful wipeouts, and injuries.

“Anyone who’s been surfing for more than a few days knows the joy of catching that perfect wave on a sunny afternoon, but they also know that surf reports can be wrong. They know that: bodyboarders snake waves, your leash is constantly getting tangled, a wetsuit left in a pile in your car gets really stinky, really fast, and sometimes you get pounded by a wave. These are all a part of what real surfing is like. Layla knew that, and I was just trying to offer people a chance to experience an important part of her life. I made sure that there was virtually no chance someone could have drowned, so I’m not sure why a fews bumps and bruises were such a big deal. I’m just glad I decided to take shark attacks out at the last minute. As far as Malie goes, it was her 112th birthday, and she really wanted to check it out. I felt bad that I hadn’t made the tank properly accessible, so I got a couple people to help me get her, and her scooter in there. I’ll admit it wasn’t my best idea, but I’ve seen this lady cliff dive, and drive out of a plane on her show. I figured she could handle anything the tank threw at her.”

For her part, Malie Kahiko, star of the hit show “Malie’s List” says that people are making too much out of the incident, and says her experience in the TMT was one of the best birthday gifts she’s had in years. “I probably should have started on “Expert”, but I wasn’t sure how long they’d let me stay in there, so I went for “Keep Kicking” right away. What a blast! I didn’t know Layla as well as I would have liked, but if this was how she lived every day, she experienced more in the short time she was here than most, maybe even me. What a wonderful tribute and ride. I give it: ‘five stars, would repeat!’”

Kalani Custom Boards Push the Boundaries of Surfing Technology

As undisputed queen of the surf Layla Kalani reigns supreme in the sport of surfing. As the Womanimal spokesperson she has become one of the most recognized faces in the world. Now, despite initial concerns about price and design, she is poised to become the producer of the greatest surf boards ever created. Kalani Custom Boards push the boundaries of surf science, and according to experts, might just be worth the eye-opening price tag.

According to Kalani the idea of a state-of-the-art board company came to her while working on, Veil of Terror: A Bride’s Nightmare, her first movie. “I had no idea how much technology was involved in making a movie. The cameras and the mounts they used to stabilize them were incredible. What the video drones could do was amazing, I didn’t know just how far advanced movie making had become. We had almost as many technicians on set as sound and lighting people. That got me thinking about how little surf science has advanced over the years. Since we were filming in Lahaina, I knew just the person to talk to about pushing the boundaries of design: Ano Lee.”

“I didn’t know much about making surf boards when Layla talked to me about it, but I love a challenge, and knew someone who had been hand-shaping boards his whole life, my cousin Leelee,” Lee says. The culmination of that conversation made its debut last month to cheers and skepticism. Despite initial shock at a price tag that can reach over $20k, and some issues with its paddle assist system, sales have steadily increased, with owners hailing the pricey boards as the best ever made.

Kalani Customs are built on a parabolic carbon fiber frame with an expanded polystyrene (EPS) core, and covered in a proprietary epoxy resin. The result is a board that “stores and releases energy as you transition through turns and provides a highly responsive ride, perfect for ultra-performance surfing.” However, it is its other features, and the creation process itself, that sets the boards apart.

While the boards are built with the same basic components, each is personally shaped by Wiley Lee, (Leelee to everyone we interviewed), Ano’s cousin. Leelee requires a personal meeting with each client before completing a board. He says, “We’re making extensions of clients to meet the sea here. The better I can get to know a person, the better I can make their perfect board. I need to look into someone’s eyes to know what to put beneath their feet.” Along with Leelee’s personal touch, the boards include: a photo realistic covering preloaded with 3 unique designs (more can be purchased through the company), a built in shark mitigation system, and an amazing paddle assist feature.

“I’m most proud of the paddle assist,” says Lee. “I’ve integrated a magnetohydrodynamic drive (MHD) system into each board. Without getting into the specifics, it basically uses an electrical current in the surrounding water to help propel the board. The technology is quite old actually. They built a prototype system in 1965 and a ship called the Yamato-1 used a MHD drive to cruise through Kobe harbor in the 1990’s, but the technology has gotten a lot better in the last 50 years. With a person paddling and the assist working, one of our boards can hit 8 knots (9.2 mph), about 3 times faster than you can paddle or swim. We want our clients to get to the waves first and maybe get a little boost getting out the end of a grinder.”

While the company says they have worked out the initial complaints about the assist system, many clients say they are still waiting for Layla and crew to make good on refund or replacement promises. Local business owner Ronnie Kalipalani is one such disgruntled customer. “The crew thought I was crazy when I bought 4 of them when they first came out, but I’m a big believer in playing hard and teamwork. I’ve found that nothing brings a construction crew together after a morning of pouring concrete and pounding nails, like an afternoon of surfing. They worked great at first. Honestly, they’re super nice boards, but then I wiped out and the board kept going without me. Luckily, it shot itself straight into the beach. I swam in to warn everyone to be extra careful, but it was too late. I watched $40k worth of boards go out to sea after their riders fell off. One got stuck in a cove a few miles away and we got it back, but we figure the other is somewhere around Guam by the direction it was heading. They fixed the issue with the boards we saved, and Layla herself promised me a refund for the fourth, but I haven’t received anything yet.”

Kalani says that they have fixed the glitch, and the assist system will no longer operate without a person being on the board. She explains that the company is still reviewing claims, but is in the process of providing refunds, or replacement boards to everyone who had issues like Kalipalani. As far as other complaints are concerned, Kalani marks them up to traditional thinking and living in the past. “The problem is the purists,” she says. “Look, there’s still people who will tell you that flying, or going down the rail is the only way to travel, and that veiling takes all the adventure out of traveling. Obviously, being a purist doesn’t make you right. It makes you stuck in the past. I wanted to make a board that was as revolutionary as my surfing style, and that’s what we’re doing. Our boards are the future of surfing.”