Hugh The Hunter Part I

There are many legends on the island and many mysterious events every day, but one of the most recent is the appearance of strangers dressed in the clothing of the old. The Kanaka have come to call them “The Tourists,” because of their brightly colored shirts and their large old-style hats. Many of my people believe that they are the spirits of those lost in the great fracture, returned to help the brave and warn the trustworthy of danger. However, I now suspect their presence has a much more technological basis than a mystical one.

The Kanaka had no stories of The Tourists and I personally did not believe the reports until a group of hunters in my village brought one back. We call him Hugh, and many of our bravest owe their lives to his reckless courage. We still know little about his life before, or where he comes from, but he has become an important ally and guardian of my village.

For weeks we had heard the stories. Strangers with strange clothing were appearing across the island. While there are few pleasant surprises anymore, stories of encounters with the Tourists were wonderful. Tales of their courage and deeds spread quickly. Kanaka talked of Tourists emerging from the forest and shooting enemies. A village to the North claimed that one jumped from a hill to attack a herd of boars, who were menacing a group of children collecting shells. There was even a tale of a Tourist who took up residence with a group of Thrivers and made items from the days of old.

It is with these stories fresh in their minds that our hunters went out one day to look for supplies. They planned on targeting the area around the old wellness center, because of the many untouched buildings buried in the rubble. When they arrived, they got quite a shock. Standing in front of the center was a man in a flowered shirt, wearing a bucket hat, with a bag across his shoulder. It was a Tourist.

The hunters stopped and called out. They raised their weapons above their heads and shouted a greeting, as is our custom. Instead of shouting back a greeting, the Tourist ran quickly to a collapsed building to the North. At first, the hunters were confused, this did not appear to be one of the brave and mystical warriors of the past they had heard about. Then the explosions went off.

They had almost walked into a bandit trap, but the Tourist had tripped the mines hidden alongside the road. He jumped just at the right time, and the force of the detonation lifted him up onto a piece of flooring jutting out of the side of the building. The bandits poured out like angry ants and tried to scramble up towards the colorfully dressed man above them. The Tourist walked to the edge of the flooring and the whole thing came down. He rode the wave of debris like he was Layla Kalani herself, drowning the bandits in rubble and exposing an opening in the building.

For a few seconds, nobody moved or said a thing. The Tourist brushed off his clothing and looked at the Kanaka who began to cheer. It was one of the most amazing things they had ever seen. Not only had the stranger saved them from an ambush, he had done it without a weapon, and had opened a way into a building that had been buried since the fracture. The stories about the Tourists were true!

He was unable to speak but seemed to understand us. The only communication he was capable of was scribbling, “HU-3501” in the sand. We called him Hugh. The elders debated what his scribblings meant as the hunters tried to learn what they could from him, but Hugh was clever. He pretended to know nothing about fighting. Like all great teachers, he let his students show him what they knew by teaching him.

So it went for almost a week, when a group of Thriver guards came to the village and announced that they had found Mea ‘ohi, the great trophy collector, using the old train station as a lair. For decades the King of the trophy collectors and his court had terrorized the island and collected the heads of many. In addition to his remarkable strength, Mea ‘ohi was very cunning for his kind and never stayed in one place for long. While it was extremely dangerous, the Thrivers thought that together we had a chance to finally rid the island of the horror of the great collector, and avenge all those he had killed. We looked at Hugh and knew we had more than a good chance with his help. Our best hunters and Hugh gathered weapons and set off with the Thriver guards.

The hunters could tell right away that the Thrivers were right. Skulls littered the steps leading into the station. Inside the walls were adorned with heads of all types. Bear, boar, wolf, and shrig were mixed in amongst the human head decorations. The inside of the station had been rearranged. Chest-high barricades of tables, desks, and chairs filled the lobby. A pair of trophy collectors rushed forward towards the group incredibly fast. The Thrivers got off what shots they could before the Kanaka engaged the monstrosities, while Hugh ran up the stairs.

The hunters dispatched one of their opponents quickly and gave chase to the other, with the Thrivers covering their back. More monsters poured in and the fighting became fierce. Teeth and claws tearing, as clubs swung and bullets rained out. Soon there were so many that even the Thrivers were forced to fight hand to hand. The hunter’s weapons were covered in the vile blood of the beasts, and their arms began to burn, but still, the creatures came, and Hugh was nowhere in sight. The Thrivers screamed that they should pull back and the hunters begrudgingly agreed, but as they tried to make their way, Mea ‘ohi finally appeared.

The hulking terror knocked over a wall of tables by the doors and stood before the remaining heroes. His cracked lips curled into a huge toothy grin knowing that the hunters were trapped inside, and he would soon have more decorations. At that moment, the Thrivers and hunters knew that they would never see their homes again. They had underestimated the creature. It was over. Just as the last of their hope was draining from them, they saw something miraculous. It was Hugh.

He lept from the floor above, digging his machete deep into Mea ‘ohi’s thigh, and tumbled as he hit the floor. The beast fell to his knees behind him, and Hugh sprung to his feet smiling. The other trophy hunters screamed and ran into the depths of the station. Hugh turned just in time to see the monster reach out. Mea ‘ohi grabbed him, and twisted off his head in one quick motion, screaming in fury and pain. Hugh’s sacrifice rallied the heroes. They could not let him die in vain. The Thrivers filled the beast’s chest with bullets and the Kanaka surged forward finishing him off.

Hugh had saved them again, even though it cost him his life. The group decided to leave before the rest of the creatures regrouped, but took Mea ‘ohi’s head as a trophy of their own. The Thrivers thanked the hunters for their help and left to return to their outpost.

While the village was excited that such a terrible danger had been removed, it had cost the lives of many, including Hugh. They gave them all a ceremony fitting for heroes and loaded their remains into a canoe together so that they could continue to protect each other in the next world. As custom, the village stayed up all night sharing stories about the ones they lost, and they wondered what would happen to Hugh. Would his spirit continue to travel with the Kanaka he fell protecting? We got our answer this morning just before dawn.

We were all very tired when he walked up to the fire and sat down. Many rubbed their eyes in disbelief. Hugh just sat smiling and pointed out towards the train station, made a chopping motion, and gave a thumbs up. I’m not sure how or why Hugh is back, but I’m glad that he is. I have a feeling we will have many more adventures

How To Communicate the News About the Train Station In a Responsible Way

Dear city council,

Like many in Lahaina, I was delighted when I heard about the inter-island rail project. Having an easy way to travel across the island and to Lanai seemed like a great idea, even considering the level of profanity that public transportation evokes. When I learned that Veilcorp was pulling out last year I was greatly concerned. Mayor Cravalho did an admirable job however of quickly spreading the news that the train might still run one day. Unfortunately, it appears now that the train won’t be traveling anywhere. My investigations have revealed that the train station has a new owner and we have a potential crisis on our hands. I’m talking of course about the crisis of excessive disappointment. We need to make sure our friends and neighbors are ready for it.

As a published amateur sociologist with 2 active blogs, I’ve devoted my life to identifying the ills of society. Many of you ignored my warnings about the increase in public profanity the radio tower would produce. I think we all know how that worked out. I can only hope that you listen more closely to my warnings about rampant disappointment.

My studies and observations have led me to believe that the displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations might be just as bad as swearing. Research has shown that when asked to rank words from “good” to “bad”, disappointment ranks consistently near the bottom. These investigations have further shown that a feeling of disappointment can drastically affect an individual’s behavior. I have some personal experience in this area.

As a child my parents would often forget to pick me up at scheduled times after events, a phenomenon that continues to this day. I can’t count how many times I’ve carpooled with a group only to be inexplicably left behind when it was time to go. I’m not sure what it is that makes it so easy for others to drive away without me, but the disappointment it caused has left its mark. I now try to drive myself everywhere and become very anxious whenever I ride with someone else. The last thing we need is an entire island wondering what to do with themselves because the possibility of taking a train ride home has been stripped from them.

Trains are romantic and good for the environment. There’s no doubt that Veil travel is the way to go if you’re traveling a long way, but for short trips there’s nothing like riding the rails. Trains are a great way to see the countryside and really experience a culture. Most countries see the value in a robust rail system and I know many on the island do too. A recent survey of 150 different countries has shown that the U.S. ranked 5th for being the most emotional country. Our emotional rivers are already swollen at the banks and I’m not sure what is going to happen if the city council unleashes a downpour of disappointment with the train news.

Things have already turned violent with the year long delay. I’ve been spending the last few months hiding near the empty station at night. I watch people walk by in order to gauge their level of disappointment and the emotional problems it causes. What I’ve found is eye-opening. I’ve been verbally assaulted and threatened on numerous occasions while crouched in the bushes. I was even attacked with pepper spray on one occasion while trying to follow a particularly raucous group who were wandering by. I was stunned at how quickly their laughter turned to screams and shouts. I wondered what had caused such a quick change in mood as I tried to wash out my eyes in the shadows. I’ve been all over this island and the people are generally kind and friendly. Why were they acting so differently at night near the train station, especially towards someone partially hidden in the foliage? Then a switch flipped in my head and the answer became clear: crushing disappointment.

I’m sure Vereserum is a fine company and will employ people, pay taxes, and all that, but will they be offering train rides? I highly doubt it. We need to get in front of this thing before word gets out. I don’t want to get bogged down in how I know about this deal before it has been made public. That’s not important right now. What is important is appropriate signage and a carefully crafted statement.

Luckily for you, I am willing to offer up my expertise and extensive knowledge of the human mind. I have a few ideas about the amount of smiley faces and other positive emoji’s to include in your official statement, and some font choices that I think will serve us well. Lahaina is supposed to be a friendly, beautiful place. Nobody wants to watch sad surfers or walk along a bitter beach. Disappointment can spread like a disease and we need to be the cure. If I work all night I can have my slides ready for your morning meeting. Let me know If I should stay home tonight and out of the bushes. I’m confident that together we can guide the people of Lahaina through this difficult time.

Inter Island Rail Project Put On Hold After VeilCorp Pulls Out

Like many of you I was excited when I was approached about the idea of the inter-island rail system. Having a fast and affordable way to travel over and between Maui and Lanai seemed like a great plan. The traffic from VeilCorp employee’s alone would have paid for the project within 15 years according to our projections so I did not hesitate to push for the bond issue. There was even talk of expanding the line to cover all the islands. As we all now know the project has been put on hold weeks before it was set to make its first run and VeilCorp has left us holding the bag.

As your mayor I felt it was important that I explained to you what happened, what my office plans to do next, and how I plan on making VeilCorp accountable for their part in this fiasco.

Almost 4 years ago the idea for the rail system was brought up in a meeting we had with a VeilCorp development team. In addition to serving the needs of the local community and tourists, the system would be used by the employees working at the power plant and the veil station. It was agreed that we would come up with most of the capital and build the first lines here and one connecting to Lanai. VeilCorp agreed to give us all the revenue until the bond was paid off and a share going forward. Staffing and maintenance would be our responsibility with VeilCorp footing the energy bill.

Almost immediately the plan started going off track. The site VeilCorp wanted was the old Methodist church. There were numerous concerns about the environmental impact of building lines through the preservation zone and rumors about outside labor being brought in. I worked tirelessly to investigate the rumors and allay any fears about construction. Unfortunately some of those fears have turned out to be true despite my best efforts.

Now that Gateway technology has been made legal for commercial and travel purposes worldwide, VeilCorp says they are no longer interested in the rail project. They now plan on using the Gateway to transport their workforce through a number of veil stations, and not the train system. They have effectively cut out the majority of our customers and revenue. My office doesn’t see a way forward economically at this point and have ordered all operations halted immediately.

We are exploring all legal solutions and I filed formal complaints with all applicable federal agencies. All of these avenues will take years however, and many of you can’t afford to wait that long. We have been in contact with a number of organizations interested in purchasing the station, including a major biotech firm. We have also considered converting the building into government offices but I’m hesitant to sink more money into this project. In the short-term we will be converting the station into a community center and continue to investigate any and all options available to us.

I know that this is not the news that many of you wanted to hear but I’ve always strived to be open and honest with you even when the news is not good. Rest assured that we are working tirelessly to make the best of our current situation and my press office will be giving regular weekly updates. Thank you for your continued support and understanding.