STORYLINE

Veil Station Review Controversy Hits Lahaina

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It is one of the most recognizable buildings in the world and a West Maui landmark. Lahaina’s veil station is one of Veilcorp’s busiest and an architectural marvel. Nearly 5 million tourists pass through the station’s walls every year. According to online reviews, most of them love their experience. Visitors highlight the many amenities offered inside as well as the numerous package deals for day trips and seeing the sites. However, hundreds of those reviews are now being called into question. Lahaina has joined a growing list of municipalities that are accused of paying for fake reviews to increase tourism. Mayor Albert Cravalho says his office is looking into the allegations but denies that the city has “…commissioned any false testimonials or reviews.”

There are many things Veilcorp concierges can help you see or do in Lahaina but two tours have recently grabbed public attention. The Lahaina Shrimp Pools offer tourists a chance to soak in mineral-rich waters while native hand-sized freshwater prawns caress their bodies, exfoliating skin, drawing out toxins, and any stress they might be holding in. Wahikuli’s Hyacinth House is a traditional structure built completely of flowers by a fisherman’s widow while she waited in vain for his return home. One reviewer called the house, “A tribute to indescribable beauty and unfathomable pain.” Both attractions have dozens of 5-star ratings but there’s just one problem. They don’t exist. According to the latest allegations, the city council sought out these fake reviews to increase tourism and secure the Lahaina station as the highest rated in the world.

In a statement, Mayor Cravalho says he has no personal knowledge of the scheme and “highly doubts anyone on the council has solicited fake reviews.” He adds, “We have strict rules and guidelines that we follow in regards to our marketing campaigns as well as our Veilcorp related initiatives that prohibit the sorts of things that the council has been accused of. While I’m confident we’ve done nothing wrong, we have launched a complete investigation to get to the bottom of the allegations and restore the public trust.”

While Veilcorp itself hasn’t been implicated so far, there’s no doubt that the company is feeling pressure over the fake reviews. At a briefing, COO Lisa Hunt told the media that the company does its best to make sure customers have access to accurate information and is looking into the matter internally.

“All of our stations are designed to offer our customers the safest and quickest travel experience available. Our partners have all been vetted to ensure that they are offering the best experience for travelers looking for shopping, a special meal, a relaxing day, or the trip of a lifetime. We take these allegations very seriously and will take swift action if it’s proven that fictitious reviews were commissioned by anyone. We can instantaneously transport people anywhere in the world but as amazing as our technology is, we can’t police the internet. Fake reviews are an unfortunate part of modern life, and we do our best to flag questionable comments with the appropriate social media platforms when we find them. We look forward to the findings of Mayor Cravalho’s investigation and have started our own inquiry into the matter.”

Despite the mayor’s denial and Hunt’s statement, many say there is a thriving review business in Lahaina and the truth isn’t required to cash in. One local man says it’s possible to make a living doing nothing but posting reviews if you’re prolific enough. John Driscol says he’s posted reviews for discounted products, free meals, gift cards, and to pay off parking tickets from the city.

“If you have a device, an internet connection, and thumbs willing to type, you can make it in Lahaina. Just about every business has some sort of discount or gift offer if you post a review. It’s a great way to make a few extra bucks and get a free meal if you’re hungry. I’ll admit that I did leave a review for that flower house thing. It sounded so cool that I thought people would really like it. I even thought about checking it out myself and anyone who knows me knows that I don’t like going anywhere but the beach or the bar. I didn’t go of course but I thought about it. I don’t write a review of anything unless I’ve heard someone else talk about it first so I don’t feel like I’m doing anything wrong.

To be honest, the only time I thought something might not be right was when I was approached by that one guy about posting things about how great the Lahaina veil station was in exchange for paying off some outstanding parking fines. I asked him if that was legal and he said “of course” so I did it. Now there’s all this controversy and they’re saying it’s bad but legal? Like, what does that mean? Are they going to put me in review timeout? All these questions are cutting into my free time. I wish I could remember the name of the guy who asked me to write the reviews so I could get everyone off my back. I’m about 60% sure I’d recognize him if I saw him again but evidently, that’s not good enough. This was supposed to be an easy way to make money without any effort, but it’s turning into a relaxation killer. 1 out of 5 stars. Would not repeat.”

STORYLINE

Arrest Made As Rescue Workers Continue To Remove Leis From Wildlife

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An arrest was made today in a case that has thrown Lahaina in the national spotlight and left environmentalists shaking their heads. 43-year-old Gary Puniwale was taken into custody and charged with harassing wildlife after placing leis on hundreds of animals in West Maui including endangered sea turtles and birds. Puniwale claims that he was simply trying to win a contest and had no idea affixing the flowered necklaces could be dangerous to wildlife. Officials are calling his actions one of the most irresponsible acts they have ever seen.

It all started early on New Year’s day with reports from owners finding their pets with leis glued to their necks. Parks officials were inundated with calls about squirrels and birds sporting the traditional Hawaiian necklaces as well. Soon hundreds of photographs of lei sporting animals were uploaded to a “Living Lahaina” page, an initiative designed to highlight the natural beauty and wildlife of the West side of the island. For the next few days, hundreds of garland ladened animals were rescued including turtle hatchlings and rare birds, while officers searched for those responsible.

Now, almost two weeks after the first flowered squirrel was discovered officials have made an arrest. Lahaina resident Gary Puniwale is accused of gluing leis onto hundreds of animals and uploading images through at least a dozen different accounts. Puniwale says he was just trying to take the top prize in the Living Lahaina contest.

Mayor Albert Cravalho says he’s glad that an arrest was made and disappointed that a program designed to highlight Lahaina’s wild beauty caused so much harm. “I just can’t imagine what Gary was thinking,” he says.

“Living Lahaina was designed to highlight what an extraordinary place West Maui is. Not only are we the home of Veilcorp and a center of innovation and technology, but we live in the most beautiful place on Earth. Vibrant flowers and exotic birds thrive next to buildings where tomorrow’s technology is born. We’re surrounded by some of the bluest waters you’ve ever seen and our reefs are a divers paradise. When we asked the public to share their best pictures of the natural wonders that make living in Lahaina unlike any other place in the world we didn’t imagine that someone would start gluing flowers to animals.”

In addition to shutting down Lahaina’s first marketing campaign of the year, Greg Ionia, senior investigator for the DLNR, says Puniwale’s actions may have lasting effects on some critically endangered animals.

“This is hands down the most irresponsible thing I have ever seen in my 15 years with the agency. There are less than 200 crested honeycreepers left in the wild and Mr. Puniwale glued leis to 3 of them. We haven’t been able to definitively tie him to all the accounts posting pictures of these poor animals, but of the ones we have, it appears that Gary interacted with 8 different protected species. For me, the worst was the green sea turtles. We’re talking about a species that has already been pushed to the brink. Their normal breeding cycle has been altered by months because of global warming and changing ocean currents. With so much working against them, the last thing the hatchlings needed was to be overloaded with leis that weigh as much as they do as they fight for their lives through the surf. It’s heartbreaking and inexcusable.”

For his part, Puniwale says he’s sorry about any harm he may have caused but had no idea that his actions were illegal. In addition, he says that his use of multiple accounts to submit photos to the Living Lahaina webpage was to avoid any bias his name holds with city council members and not to avoid the consequences of his actions.

“I’ve had a few unfortunate mishaps over the years that made the news and put a target on my back with some city council members so I figured using different accounts was the way to go. At no time did I think that I was hurting the animals I put leis on. I mean we’ve been putting leis on people who visit the islands for decades. In retrospect, I should have known that gluing flowers to animals to win a photography contest was wrong when I saw that the honey catchers and hummingbirds weren’t strong enough to fly with them attached.

I’m willing to take full responsibility for my actions but what upsets me the most is hearing people say that what I was doing was stupid and lazy. They have obviously never tried to attach leis to hatching turtles in the dark. It’s not like the turtles mark where they’ve laid eggs. You have to run up and down a few miles of beach carrying pounds of flowers and glue sticks looking for the slightest movement in the sand. It’s not a job for the dimwitted. On top of that, you only have seconds to fight off the birds trying to eat the hatchlings and stick the flowers on them before they get in the surf. You can call that a lot of things, but lazy isn’t one of them.”

STORYLINE

Kohole Mayoral Campaign Picks Up Steam Despite Growing Controversy

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Despite a series of questionable public appearances, and a laundry list of eyebrow raising statements, the Rodger “Rod” Kohole campaign for mayor continues to pick up steam against incumbent Albert Cravalho. Undeterred by the candidate’s comments about removing government protections from natural areas, and advocating the use of violence against his opponents at a campaign stop yesterday, the Kohole train continues to gain momentum. In fact, recent polls show Kohole pulling to within 5 points of Mayor Cravalho.

Rod Kohole’s rise as a political figure in Maui has been an unorthodox one, riddled with complaints and allegations. After his forced retirement as a justice of the Hawaiian Supreme Court at the age of 70, Kohole moved to Maui and began a number of agricultural and energy businesses. However, Rod couldn’t stay out of politics for long, and within a year he had formed the Foundation for Natural Law, a non-profit legal organization dedicated to fighting “government overreach” in all areas. The foundation represented a handful of geothermal drilling companies wishing to drill inside the preservation zone, but its first high-profile case was fighting an anti-foie gras initiative on behalf of one of Kohole’s farms. It was then that the opinions of the retired judge, and his unfiltered manner of speech began to grab headlines.

His followers say that they appreciate Kohole’s direct and rough manner, a departure from the usually laid back atmosphere that permeates everything, even the political arena, on Maui. His campaign slogan, “Let’s Ram Rod In the Mayor’s Office!” seems to perfectly represent his campaign so far: unorthodox, controversial, and aggressive. Many expressed concerns after he was asked about the problem of the working poor in Maui and he answered: “I keep hearing about the poor and the working poor. I have to be honest, we didn’t have working poor when I was a kid. Do you know why? Because if you work hard enough in this great country, you’re not poor! You don’t have to be a genius to figure it out. It’s simple math. If you haven’t prepared yourself for adulthood or are just too lazy to get another job, then, I’m sorry, but that’s you’re problem, not mine. Nobody who has the gumption to work 80-100 hour weeks is poor. I’m gonna start slapping these assistance checks out of hands, and replacing them with shovels when I’m in office.”

“His rhetoric is dangerous and he is appealing to the worst parts of our nature,” says Ellen Pahili, spokesperson for the Mayor’s office. “Albert Cravalho has changed Maui for the better and offered the kind of mature, steady leadership that we need going forward. Like many of us, I check my newsfeed every morning to hear what outlandish thing Mr. Kohole has said next, but that isn’t leadership. That’s a spectacle. This is a man who when asked if any government regulations were needed at all, like protections for child labor, said: ‘No! We don’t need someone in an office on a hill somewhere telling us that kids shouldn’t have jobs. Having a job builds character. The truth of the matter is kids are just better at certain things that adults. Crawling into tunnels or exhaust tubes for cleaning, assembling electronics and garments, all those things that are easier to do with little bodies and little hands. I believe in giving children the right to work, especially children who aren’t college material.’ What more is there to say? Rodger Kohole’s day-to-day statements are our best advertisements. He is a dangerous and misguided man, unfit for office.”

The Kohole campaign counters that it is Cravalho who has put the public in danger through numerous controversial programs and decisions, and the terrible Veilcorp Luau bombing that claimed the lives of 10 people, including Tracy and Alohi Oeming, wife and daughter of Veilcop founder Eric Oeming. They say only Kohole has the courage to stand-up to the special interests, and protect the hard working people of Maui.

Kohole arrived at the Chop House yesterday riding a pig and brandishing a sidearm, much to the delight of his assembled fans who call themselves “Ramrods”. Kohole wasted no time in giving the crowd the kind of speech he has become famous for. “I just wanted to show everyone how I plan to ride the swine out of office. I brought this, [the gun] just in case the hog or my opponents had other ideas. I want the powers that be to know that we’re taking it all back by any means necessary. We’re going to drill wells for power, we’re going to harvest trees, we’re going to use the bounty that has been provided us, without worrying about what the scientists, and tree-huggers say. I promise that when elected the first thing I’m going to do is open some of these areas that have been designated as native lands. In my America you own land through hard work, not because your ancestors lost a fight. The days of participation trophies, big government, apologizing, and trigger warnings are over.”

Kimberly Hekili from The Lahaina Conservation Association (LCA), calls the prospect of Kohole in office a, “nightmare.” She contends that years of restoration and conservation projects would be undone, should the retired judge win the election. “All you have to do is look at other areas where thinking like this has prevailed. Kohole would have us strip mine the mountains, pollute streams in the pursuit of energy readily available in other cleaner methods, and hunt endangered animals into extinction. He even wants to strip protections from the Nene, our state bird, in order to use them to create a specialty foi gras market on the island. Electing Rodger Kohole would be an ecological disaster.”

The general election will be held November 8. Pundits say that despite being written off early in the primaries, the slow and steady growth of Kohole should worry Cravalho. They say his campaign mirrors some of the growth of the populist movements 30 years ago. With only a little over a month left until the election, both campaigns are sure to ramp over the next few weeks.

STORYLINE

Excitement and Controversy Over Upcoming Veil Stop Announcement Continues

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Veilcorp and the County of Maui are set to announce the locations of the first Veil Stops at the end of the week, amid increasing excitement and swirling controversy. Many still consider the next generation public transportation system a wonder, while some worry about safety and improper government influence. A number of recent reports regarding the possible health effects, and corruption have lessened the near unanimous support for the project.

Promising to revolutionize the way we travel locally, the Veil Stop network was met with excitement across the island back in January. Veilcorp said they could convert existing bus stops with little effort and could have a working system up and running within months. Since then, multiple delays, warnings from environmental groups, and corruption investigations have slowed progress and diminished public support for the project.

Mayor Albert Cravalho says that despite the controversy, he believes that the network will be a major attraction for tourists and a huge benefit to residents. “Every project is met with some sort of pushback, but I am confident that the Veil Stop network will change the day-to-day lives of many for the better. In spite of a few activists using bad science and rumors to derail the project, many business owners and residents see the possibilities that the Veil Stops afford and are excited.”

Inventor and technology gadfly Ano Lee is one such business owner. He has been pushing to have an out of service bus stop near his maker commune reopened as part of the pilot program. Lee says that the expansion of the preservation zone ended all public transportation in his area, and the Veil Stop project would return the valuable service to his neighbors and his business.

“Preservation zone rules have kept viable public transportation options out of the area, but the Veil Stop network could change all that. I think the old bus stop down the road is the natural choice. People have to understand what a hot-spot my Chacki Hut has become. Sure, tourists come to Lahaina for the crystal clear water, lush forests, and scenic cliffs. However, the hut is now rated as one of the most popular tourists destinations on a variety of social media outlets. Our selection of peel-n-stick LED lights is second to none, and as far as I know, there is nothing like our custom bobblehead machines anywhere on the island. Since we’re a little off the beaten path, I think it’s only natural that the pilot program start out here.”

Preservation zone compliance liaison to the mayor’s office Elizabeth Stonegate disagrees. She believes that the network should focus on currently active bus stops, saying that an active stop in the area would upset delicate natural areas. She counters, “There’s a reason that the bus routes in the area were discontinued, and it wasn’t to upset Ano Lee and his collection of ungroomables. The stop that Lee is pushing so hard to reopen is less than a mile from my home in Tanager Lane. As HOA president it is my job to protect my neighborhood and home values. I can assure you that the residents of Tanager Lane are not public transportation people. I’m sorry that visitors to Lee’s plastic shed will have to buy their trinkets and trance music somewhere else. There isn’t anything here for the kind of people who would visit his neck beard collective, certainly not a home in their price range. I think it is obvious that these people would be much happier in other areas of Lahaina.”

Chop House owner Bob Abramo agrees with Stonegate, and says the obvious location is one of the stops downtown. Abramo is nearing completion of a multi million dollar “Museum of Meat History” alongside his restaurant, and says that the interest in the new expansion makes his location the obvious choice. However, many have accused Abramo of using his position on the city council to unduly sway the planning committee’s decision. Known for his outlandish statements and direct manner, many are saying his “appreciation program” is a step too far, even for the larger-than-life Lahaina fixture.

He says,

“I really don’t know what all the fuss is about. You hear about people celebrating police officers and first responders all the time. I’m not saying we shouldn’t give a little extra thanks to these brave men and women, they do an incredible job. I’m just trying to recognize other public servants who are too often overlooked. I wanted to recognize those that work late hours missing diners to make sure that the paperwork was done in triplicate. I wanted to give the hardworking people who only have time for instant noodles during the day something they could appreciate. When we started looking at all the groups who put in a little something extra in our local government, one stood out immediately. I’m proud of the “Veil Stop Planning Committee Appreciation Program.” I’m offering everyone on the committee free meals this week at the Chop House. Frankly, with so many vying for their attention I thought it only right that I offered them a spot at my table to relax and make the right decision.”

The committee says they are still looking at a number of areas, and will announce the first Veil Stop locations early this Friday.

STORYLINE

Law That Would Put Quota On Veil Travelers Passes

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Amongst cheers from its supporters and threats of legal action from the opposition, the InterIsland Preservation and Travel Act (IPTA) was passed today. The law would establish tough new regulations on the use of Veil transportation on any of the Hawaiian islands and impose a quota on the number of monthly visitors. Many native Hawaiians see the measure as a much needed safeguard for failing infrastructure and fragile natural areas. Veilcorp calls it a disappointing overreach. The controversial law is set to go into effect in 2047.

Proponents of the legislation say it is needed to protect strained electrical and sewage systems and to shield vital natural areas from overuse. Advocates point to the frequent back-up and spillage problems in Honolulu, and the recent destruction of a turtle nesting beach in Maui by a wedding party, as proof of the need for the law.

Starting next year, anyone planning to veil into the islands must submit a visitor declaration at least 60 days in advance, and outline which destinations they plan to visit as well as provide a departure date. Anyone caught staying past this date, or veiling in without a permit will be heavily fined with the possibility of jail-time for repeat offenders.

Not everyone on the islands agrees with the law. Many local businesses say they depend on a robust tourist trade, and cutting down the number of tourists by what some estimates say could be half, would be the beginning of the end for them. They also point out that so far the state has not explained how they would administer the monthly quotas or the waiting lists that are sure to reach out into year-long delays.

All of these questions and concerns are moot according to Veilcorp spokesperson Lisa Hunt. She says the new law is absurd and clearly unconstitutional, calling it “legislative theater”. Hunt says,

“Freedom of movement under United States law is one of the most fundamental constitutional rights of citizens recognized by the courts. It was recognized in the Articles of Confederation and the right to freely move between states is about as basic as it gets. What the Hawaiian government has done here is nothing more than an act of pandering to a very vocal and militant group of voters. They know that this law will not stand up to scrutiny in the courts. We suggest that they upgrade their sewer systems if they are no longer sufficient instead of spreading it around through legislation. Perhaps these advocates should get out of their comfy chairs and take a more hands-on approach to protecting the natural areas they allege to hold so dear. Stripping away freedoms won’t induce turtles to lay eggs.”

Mayor of the County of Maui, Albert Cravalho, disagrees. He says the law is much needed relief for a problem that has been growing for the past 7 years.

“Freely traveling between states has been considered a fundamental right but the federal government has not been invested with the authority to protect that freedom by the courts. That power has always resided with the states. But more importantly, we have to recognize that the Constitution is a living document. At one time slaves were considered three-fifths of a person, alcohol was illegal, and women were not allowed to vote. The creators of this great document wrote with quills, the ramifications of overcrowding due to veil technology was not on their radar. Oeming and his precious Veilcorp are just the latest incarnation of Captain Cook-like characters trying to exploit the beauty of Hawaii and its people. This problem really started to grow in 2039 when the United States joined 181 other countries in signing The Gateway Travel Accord. Giving virtually the entire population of the planet permission, and the ability to instantaneously stuff themselves into the 4,000 square miles many of us call home is short-sighted to say the least. Every winter our jails are filled with drunk Bostonians and others overstaying their visas. This is not a problem of our making. This is a global issue that was thrust upon us. Luaus aren’t a human right afforded to every southie, Saudi and shanghainese!.”

Albert’s sentiments are shared by many on the islands despite their doubts about the law’s eventual impact on the overcrowding and flash-tourist problems. Local IPTA advocate Elizabeth Stonegate says,

“As President of the Tanager Lane Homeowners’ Association for the past 15 years, I’m no stranger to hard and unpopular decisions so I empathize with the Mayor. If you think putting a travel quota in place is hard you should try getting everyone to agree to mandatory hibiscus planting. I agree that this is a problem that was thrust upon us by other countries. Just the other day a lost tourist wandered into the neighborhood. He walked up to me as I was getting the mail and asked for directions. His accent was so thick and I didn’t know what he was saying at first. You can imagine how off-putting the experience was. If something like that can happen in Tanager Lane, I can only imagine what horrors happen on a daily basis in the less upscale areas around the island.”

STORYLINE

Veilcorp Unveils Plan For Public “Veil Stop” Network In Lahaina

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In the past two decades veil technology has changed the face of long distance travel. Veilcorp has made the dream of near instant world transit a reality and dominates the global business and leisure travel market. Now, with a new plan for a public transportation system in Lahiana, the company appears ready to change the way we move locally as well.

A joint project between Veilcorp and the Hawaiian government, the proposed “Veil Stop” network would see the company converting already existing bus stops in Lahaina into a series of small, interconnected veil stations. The plan is backed by Mayor Albert Cravalho who released a statement this morning which reads in part, “We are proud to partner with Veilcorp in this amazing project. The County of Maui has long been a leader in technological adoption and environmental awareness. We look forward to being able to provide tourists and residents alike a safe and easy way to travel across the island, while doing even more to protect our beautiful and delicate natural areas.”

Brie Howard, Veilcorp’s VP of special projects and strategic growth, says that the program will revolutionize local travel and business.

“Without getting into specifics, we’ve made great progress in the past few years reducing the amount of energy required to power our veil technology. We’ve made the process efficient enough, with the same safety features, that our Veil Stop network is now viable. Much of what we need is already included in the bus stops. With a few minor additions and a little new wiring work, we can offer a unique travel experience for visitors who don’t want the hassle of traveling on a bus.”

Even though the buses running in the Lahaina area are completely electric, Howard points out that they still have some environmental impact through maintenance, wear and tear on the road, and a reliance on rare metals for the production of batteries. The Veil Stop network on the other hand, would largely rely on existing infrastructure and the solar production of 127 by the Icarus project for power. According to Howard the system would have virtually no negative impact on the environment. “The best part is that you’ll never have to ride the bus again,” says Howard. “Nothing can ruin a vacation like having to be trapped inside a vehicle with crying babies, inebriated travelers trying to hold it together over the bumps, and lost tourists shouting for the driver to stop every 100 yards.”

Residents and business owners alike have expressed excitement over the project since it’s announcement. One of the most enthusiastic has been Ralph Umeke, the owner and operator of the Lahaina favorite, Hula Noodle. Umeke says the network would be a boon to tourists and residents alike. “The buses run pretty late but there are always people who don’t make the last run for the evening. Usually, it’s people who’ve been enjoying themselves a little bit more than they should. That leaves them few options. Some choose to call Hailoha for a ride, but they are often belligerent. I know quite a few drivers who won’t pick up in certain areas at night, because they don’t want to deal with the hassle or spend hours cleaning up their back seats. Others try to walk back to their hotels but that can be dangerous and they often get lost. The worst are the people who get one of the public Manimal ATVs and somehow work around the breathalyzer interlocks. Anything that can keep those 4-wheeled menaces off the roads and lawns of Lahaina is a long-time coming if you ask me.”

Many residents are as thrilled as Umeke, and the Mayor’s office has been flooded with questions about how many, and which stops would be converted under the plan. Those living in areas where bus service was discontinued due to the expansion of the preservation zone, are especially eager to learn if the network could expand to these old stops as well.

John Driscol, one such resident, says he’d be delighted to see the program expand into the preservation zone.

“They took away all busing in my area 15-years-ago, both public and school routes. Since then, I’ve needlessly spent over 60 hours a year walking my kids to the next closest stop, or in some cases, the school itself. When you do the math, I’ve spent almost 38 days chained to unnecessary parental responsibility since the buses stopped running to our neighborhood. I can’t get those days back, but it’s not too late for other parents who love their leisure time but feel an obligation to ensure their children’s safety as well. I take comfort in knowing that this system has the potential to help new parents who haven’t had to endure what I have. In addition, the fact that I would be able to greatly reduce the amount of steps I’d have to take in a day, gives me hope. Looking at the location of old and existing bus stops, I believe I could reduce the number of steps I take in a busy day to under 2,000, and most days far less. I can’t get those school days back, but I might be able to greatly extend the life of my sandals, and that’s good enough for me.”

STORYLINE

Booming Urchin Venom Industry Blamed for Troubling New Fad

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The demand for sea urchin venom for use in medical research has never been greater, and few places have benefited as much as Lahaina. It seems as if a new extraction business is opening on every corner. The industry’s amazing growth (over 200% in the last 6 months alone) has spurred a modern day venom rush. With promising research on the horizon, it seems nothing can stop the urchin train. However, a troubling new fad threatens to derail the venom business in Lahaina. Called “lurchin,” people are ingesting urchin poison, and filming themselves engaging in physical activities, while the poison numbs their nervous system. Participants say it’s nothing more than some harmless fun. Officials call it dangerous, and an incredibly stupid trend.

Over two years ago, Veilcorp’s huge urchin restoration program was met with much anger and push back. Many felt the project was the company’s retribution for a legal suit brought against Veilcorp over the failed rail project. Mayor Cravalho himself argued that the program would ruin beaches and hurt tourism, but a lot can change in a few years.

When Vereserum announced the fast-track release of Echinodone last spring, the urchin business started booming. The powerful pain medication is incredibly safe, with almost no risk of accidental overdose, non-addictive, and derived from sea urchin venom. Instead of crippling the Lahaina economy, the urchin restoration project became an area gold mine almost overnight. It is that boom in the industry, and the availability of urchin venom, that some say is responsible for the “lurchin” fad.

You don’t have to look hard to find videos or pictures of people lurchin around Lahaina, and unfortunately the trend seems to be spreading. Named after the jerky movements the toxin causes, there are hundreds of videos showing people ingesting urchin venom and riding bikes, climbing, skateboarding, or even surfing as the poison suppresses their nervous system, sometimes to the point of temporary paralysis. Craig Luahi’s lurchin videos on Glimpsea and YouTube have been viewed millions of times, and he says there is a lot of misunderstanding surrounding the practice. “It’s actually very hard and takes a lot of brain power to pull off. Lurchin is not for the weak willed. Imagine your whole body feeling like it’s asleep. You can barely feel your arms, legs, or face. Now imagine trying to jump a skateboard, run across a beam, or climb a tree like that. What we’re doing is pushing the limits of the mind-body connection. We’re not just a bunch of idiots drinking poison for attention. We’re artists!”

Still, dozens have been injured, and officials say it’s only a matter of time before the practice leads to a death. Marine biologist and urchin researcher Dr. Alanai Kalipalani, says the trend is, “beyond stupid.”

“We’ve been deriving medicines from venom for a long time. Cone snail venom has led to painkillers, gila monster venom was used to develop effective diabetes medicines, sea anemone toxins have been used to battle autoimmune diseases, and snake venoms have been vital to the creation of amazing anticoagulant drugs. There just wasn’t a lot of work done with sea urchin venom until the past 3-5 years, and I think the results speak for themselves. I have seen promising research using urchin toxin to treat amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. It would be a shame if the actions of a few incredibly stupid people ruin a whole new avenue of medical research. Ingesting urchin venom can cause fatigue, weakness, muscle aches, shock, paralysis, and even respiratory failure. I hope this fad runs it course soon before it causes irreparable harm or lasting injuries.”

Local business owner and Dr. Kalipalani’s brother Ronnie agrees strongly. Owner of Ronnie Kalipalani Construction, Ron says that the fad has cost his business thousands of dollars, and him countless hours of sleep. Kalipalani says many of his work sites have become targets for people lurchin, and he’s had to hire security to keep them away. “I remember the first time we found people lurchin on a site. It was like a nightmare,” he says.

“Mike was the first to notice them when we pulled up in the truck. There was a woman draped over an I-beam, and some feet sticking out of the cement mixer. Another guy was inside the dozer bucket, still half on a bike. I didn’t see any blood, and couldn’t tell if they were alive or not. It was all I could do to get out of the truck and check them out, while the guys called the police. I only got a few feet when I saw another young lady come shuffling around the back, and making a groaning noise. I’ll be honest, it really freaked me out! I ran back to the truck, but the guys had locked the doors. Luckily she fell over before she got to me, otherwise there’s no telling what might have happened. When the cops explained that they had purposely drank urchin venom so they could film themselves playing around the construction site, I couldn’t believe it. I mean, we’ve all done stupid things, me included, but the venom doesn’t make you feel good or anything. If you’re going to do dumb stuff there better be a pay off. I’ve seen some stupid fads in my day, but lurchin has got to be the worst.”

STORYLINE

Information Released About Second Suspect As Bombing Case Moves Into Penalty Phase

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On May 7, 2041 a shocked world could finally put a face to the tragedy that had dominated the news for days. 37-year-old Ben Drakes confessed to the bombing attack at a Veilcorp company Luau that left 10 dead and dozens injured. Veilcorp’s founder Eric Oeming was seriously injured in the explosion and his wife and daughter were among those lost. As Drakes’ case moves into it’s final phase this week, officials have announced new details about his alleged accomplice and say more arrests are soon to come.

A member of the radical environmentalist group Gaia Guard, Drakes turned himself in a day after releasing a manifesto to the press in which he claimed, “Oeming and his followers thought they were above Gaia’s law, so we made them answer for their cruelty.”

Although Hawaii abolished capital punishment before it was granted statehood in 1959, a decision was made to try him federally, making him eligible for the death penalty. While unusual, the move was not unprecedented. The government did the same back in 2014 when they sought the death penalty for a soldier who had murdered his daughter. Drakes plead guilty and represented himself during the speedy trial. He has pledged that he will not seek to appeal the decision of the court during this final phase, and is ready to “sacrifice my life for our mother Gaia.”

From the very beginning investigators had their doubts that the Veilcorp lift operator had acted alone. The arrest of 31-year-old Richard Yates early this year seemed to confirm that suspicion. However, officials have been tight-lipped about the investigation and little information has been released until today.

Yates moved with his family to Maui in late 2039 to work as Lahaina’s marketing specialist on the inter-island rail project. Friends say that he was devastated by Veilcorp’s sudden departure from the project and blamed the company for the loss of his job. Mayor Albert Cravalho worked closely with Yates and says he was shocked when he heard about the arrest. “Richard was a bright and positive young man. Together we had a beautiful vision for what the rail project would become. Of course I was disappointed when the project fell through but what he’s done is unconscionable. I don’t know what would make a person so twisted.”

Friends of Yates say the cancellation of the project began a year-long downward spiral. “He had just moved his entire family to Lahaina, and within a few months he was jobless. They struggled quite a bit and he blamed Eric Oeming personally.”

Eventually Yates and his wife separated and he was forced to take a job as a branding associate at Reality Machine. “It was a blow to his ego. He became even more preoccupied with Oeming and his family. When he wasn’t working, he was spending most of his time is some pretty dark corners of the internet. It got so bad that his parents took a trip to the island to have an intervention but he flipped out when he learned that they had veiled there,” says an anonymous family member.

Officials say that Yates began making contact with Gaia Guard members at this time and became convinced in a number of conspiracy theories. He was obsessed with the idea that Oeming was a time traveller, SSHAM was made from unnatural products brought in through the veil, and Veilcorp was secretly conducting experiments on residents. It was these beliefs and his hatred of Eric Oeming that investigators say led him to work with Drakes.

One of the biggest questions up to this point has been how Drakes got the explosives used in the attack. Authorities now say that part of the puzzle was solved by Yates. “We believe that Mr. Yates provided access to an unrestricted RMIII machine in order to make the explosives used in the attacks. These two, along with at least one other accomplice, broke down various safeguards in the machines in order to produce the raw components needed for the bombs.” This is the first time officials have publically announced that there are other suspects in the case, and they say they are close to making more arrests.

Veilcorp COO Lisa Hunt praised today’s announcement and said, “They say that for every cockroach you see there are 100 hiding. I want everyone involved to know that we’re working closely with law enforcement and we have not forgotten what you’ve done. There is no place you can hide. Our reach extends to some very bad places across the globe. Places where justice is harsh and swift. It would be in your best interest to turn yourself in. It’s just a matter of time until we shine a light on you too.

STORYLINE

Veilcorp Begins Massive Urchin Restoration Project

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For hundreds of years the Hawaiian islands have had a problem with invasive species. From the introduction of rats and feral pigs, to more recent invaders like the brown tree snake and coconut rhinoceros beetle, all have had a major impact on island ecology. Invasive species aren’t just confined to terrestrial areas either. For decades the waters around Hawaii have been plagued with invasive algae that crowds out native sea plants and smothers coral, leading to massive reef destruction. Many different plans have tried to deal with the issue over the years, but a new Veilcorp project aims to solve it once and for all while offering a new hope for another species.

Kappaphycus and Eucheuma algae were brought to the islands by farmers working for the carrageenan industry, a chemical important in the making of a wide variety of products including food additives, lubricants, and cosmetics. The accidental release of the algae threatened numerous native plants, and miles of coral reefs popular for snorkeling. In 2005, NOAA worked with the State of Hawaii and the Nature Conservancy to fund and create a possible solution called the Super Sucker project. Divers would use a large suction hose to help them clean the reefs of the algae. The device was faster than doing it by hand, but it was still a painstaking process.

Eventually the State of Hawaii Division of Aquatic Resources began to grow and release native sea urchins around areas most endangered by the algae. Since even the smallest piece of algae left could quickly regrow, It was hoped that the urchins could clean the reefs better than divers. The project had mixed results for a number of reasons, but Veilcorp scientists says they’ve worked out the kinks and have a new urchin plan backed by federal authorities.

According to Veilcorp, the problem with the old project was one of numbers. The state run project would raise urchins in the lab from larva to maturity, a process that would take an urchin 4-5 months to grow. Working in conjunction with NOAA biologists, the company says that they have created a hybrid that can mature in half the time. In addition, Veilcorp officials say that the old program would release urchins in numbers that could clear only small areas. They plan on increasing those numbers in a very large way.

“The old state run program was well intentioned but shackled from the beginning,” says spokesperson Lisa Hunt. “They were releasing hundreds or thousands at a time which was fine if you wanted to clean a certain area for a few weeks. We want to solve the problem forever, and restore the urchin population to their original pre-colonial numbers. The urchin is an important food source for many animals such as lobster and octopus, not to mention people. We plan on releasing millions by years end. We hope the people of Hawaii will receive our gift of better fishing, clean reefs, and uni on every table with the spirit it was given” adds Hunt.

That spirit is not so benevolent according to some however. Mayor of the County of Maui Albert Cravalho says the project is payback for a recent suit filed against the company after a failed rail project.

“Veilcorp pulled out of our inter island rail project after 4 years of planning because it was no longer convenient for them. They left us holding the bag so we had no choice but to seek relief in the courts. I find it laughable that this new project was announced 3 months to the day that we filed our suit. Just look where they plan to release the urchins. It’s places that many local businesses use for beach activities. I assure you that tourists aren’t going to want to spend half their day pulling spines out of their feet. One of the locations is miles away from any reef. Their motivations couldn’t be any clearer! The numbers they plan on dumping are ridiculous too. I haven’t been able to find any biologist not on the Veilcorp payroll who thinks that these waters would be better off with the addition of millions of urchins.”

Veilcorp officials say that the locations picked for the urchin release were chosen with such considerations as currents and underwater obstacles to ensure “a rapid and even distribution of urchins to cover all problem areas.” They deny the claims made by opponents and say that the population numbers they are using are based on historic records from early settlers.

“We have early accounts that claim certain bays were filled with urchins as far as the eye could see. We have spent years taking hits from environmentalists about supposed damages that we have caused in the areas around our facilities. Now, after we try and restore an area to its natural state we are accused of some sort of Machiavellian plot involving federal authorities and sea life. We are only concerned about making a place better than it was when we found it, not trivial lawsuits. Mayor Cravalho may think our project and the restoration of a species is laughable, but we don’t. We find our opponents constant attacks disheartening. It’s too bad they care more about preserving a tourist’s right to drunkenly run into the surf than protecting the pristine natural areas around the island and the health of the coral.”

says Hunt.

STORYLINE

Eric Oeming Injured, Wife and Daughter Among Those Killed In Explosion

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All eyes are on Lahaina this evening as more information has been released about an explosion at a Veilcorp company luau this morning. It has now been confirmed that Tracy and Alohi Oeming, wife and daughter of Veilcorp’s founder Eric Oeming, are among the 9 confirmed dead. Other names are being withheld until officials can notify family members.

Eric Oeming himself has joined the official injury tally. That list has now crept up to 36, with many in critical or serious condition. Some of the injured were flown to Molokai General Hospital, Queen’s Medical Center, and the Straub Medical Center in Honolulu. Numerous outlets are reporting that Oeming is suffering from severe burns and significant head injury. Veilcorp officials confirm that Oeming was severely injured but would not comment on the details of those injuries.

An explosion rocked the annual Veilcorp ‘Innovators Luau’ this morning with hundreds in attendance. All available emergency services responded from across the island. For most of the day unconfirmed stories and details have been making the rounds in the media. It appears certain now that contrary to some reports, the explosion was not an accident. According to law enforcement officials the explosion was caused by the detonation of a catering vehicle that had been parked near the grill and serving area. Officials aren’t saying if the attacker is among those dead or injured, or if the bomb was remotely activated.

Agents from the Department of Homeland Security and the Hawaii Emergency Management Agency have taken control of what is now being called a crime scene. Those agencies had no comment about the incident and local police tell the Lahaina Advertiser that they have no suspects yet but are still gathering leads and interviewing witnesses. Although one anonymous officer told the Advertiser, “at this point it looks like an inside job.” They confirm that earlier reports of gunfire are untrue.

While officials aren’t saying much about who might be responsible, a number of fringe groups have applauded the attack, sighting a long list of accusations against the company and its dealings across the globe. Members of the radical environmentalist group Gaia Guard have been particularly vocal, and promise to release a major announcement regarding the attack later this evening.

Tim Durney, the founder of VeilWatch and staunch opponent of the corporation, was quick to distance himself and his organization from the incident, “I understand the anger that some feel towards Eric Oeming and his company, but this is not the answer. You don’t fight against injustice by blowing up a car at a company picnic. My deepest sympathies go to all the families involved including Eric. What happened here is a crime committed by cowards and a tragedy.”

Mayor Albert Cravalho will be leading a midnight vigil this evening and says,

“Things like this don’t happen on the island. Eric just isn’t a guy on the news to us, he is family. Just about everyone has seen him and his family walking around Lahaina at one time or another. I can’t tell you how many mornings I had a breakfast bowl with him and his daughter Alohi at Hula Noodle. We’re all devastated. My heart goes out to all the victims of today’s attack and I’d like to acknowledge the bravery of our first responders. This is a sad day for everyone and especially for everyone in Lahaina.”

Officials have opened a tip and information line and would like to remind the public again to use it and not 911. President Sawant will be making a statement about the attack within the hour. We will have reactions to her words after the speech and report any new developments as they happen.