STORYLINE

Charges Dropped Against Mother Accused of Removing Her Daughter’s Ceremplant

brain.jpg

Charges have been dismissed against a West Maui woman who faced possible jail time after having her 14-year-old daughter’s ceremplant removed as punishment, after the girl got in trouble at school. Gina Hekili of Lahaina says she was “just trying to be a responsible parent” when she had the ceremplant removed, but was arrested on a misdemeanor larceny charge after her ex-husband filed a complaint saying he owned the implant. Prosecutors say they decided to drop the charges after further review and told a judge this morning that since Hekili is “the mother of the minor involved” that it “changes the case significantly.”

Despite the charges against her being dropped, Hekili says she is still angry about the ordeal and doesn’t understand how prosecutors let the incident go so far. “I never thought that punishing my child for skipping school would put me in jail. I’m still in shock to be honest,” she says. News of her arrest spread quickly last week, with public opinion overwhelmingly on Gina’s side.

However, Grant Wanawie, the father of the girl involved, says he’s disappointed in the decision to drop charges against his ex-wife, and will be pursuing a civil case against her saying, “This isn’t like taking a toy away for a few minutes or putting your child in timeout. I paid for the ceremplant, and I believe I’m the only one who has the right to punish her by taking it out.”

Kurt Bickely, of the law firm Suter, Stine, Burns & Partners (SSB&P), is representing Wanawie and says a formal complaint will be filed in the next few days unless Hekili is willing to publicly acknowledge her culpability, and pay an amount “fitting of her thoughtless actions” in the incident.

Bickley says this is the first such case his firm has handled but expects to see more in the future as “the law does not adapt as quickly as technology.” Even though the case breaks new ground, he says he’s confident in its outcome.

“Without having instant access to the latest social media news or celebrity gossip, our client’s daughter risks falling behind in the latest trends, causing real and lasting harm. While the medical procedure to remove the ceremplant is a relatively quick one, lasting only minutes, the fallout from it can last a lifetime. Over 95% of Hawaiians have a ceremplant now, with only weirdos, the ultra-poor, and the troubled choosing to live their lives without this ubiquitous device. The mother in this case fails to appreciate how an under-concentration on trivialities can lead to her daughter being ostracized by her peers, leaving her depressed, confused, and unaware of the day’s latest fad. What is she supposed to do to keep up? Dig out her parents old phone or tablet? This is serious stuff we’re dealing with here.”

While many have expressed outrage over the incident, Wanawie does have one high-profile supporter in his corner, famed inventor, and technology gadfly Ano Lee. Lahaina’s most tech savvy son says that many people of Hekili’s generation fail to realize how intertwined ceremplants are to the social structures of people her daughter’s age.

“The truth of the matter is that we are living in a new social ecosystem, vastly different from the one that existed even just ten years ago. Having instantaneous access to your favorite music and videos of people tasting ultra-hot peppers, or potentially hurting themselves by participating in the latest viral trend, without having to move a muscle, is a necessity. Previous generations have enjoyed these sorts of things as well, but they have always been considered a diversion, or guilty pleasure to be enjoyed occasionally because they relied on handheld devices or old fashioned computers. They didn’t grow up with the ability to endure a reprimand by watching a tutorial video surreptitiously. They can’t conceive of tuning out a boring class by organizing their game achievements hands-free, while their teacher prattles on none-the-wiser. These aren’t just pleasures to this generation; they are woven into the fabric of society and have become rights.”

STORYLINE

Online Academy Founded By Lahaina Inventor Accused Of Teaching Conspiracies and Slang

eeye.jpg

The State Attorney General Office says they will look into numerous complaints about a popular online academy based in Lahaina. Launched late last year, Academic-Lee, promises students a “…new kind of education for a new kind of world.” With a free curriculum heavy on math and science, and numerous elective classes available for purchase, the online school pledges to change “the face of higher learning by focusing on what works.” However, numerous students claim the elective classes are full of errors, present fringe ideas as truths, and in at least one case, teach non-native English speakers inappropriate language.

Founder of the online school Ano Lee says he was tired of seeing kids finish high school and waste money on college only to graduate with crippling debt, or learn a trade and not have the higher learning background to grow inside their chosen profession. “It was a real catch-22 for these kids,” Lee says. Ano claims he drew upon his years of business experience, surveyed recent graduates about their skills, and talked to other heads of industry to see what they found lacking in new applicants. “I sketched it all out on a whiteboard in the printer shed at the maker commune, and after a few tweaks from the crew, we had the future of education laid out in front of us.”

By all accounts students enrolled in Academic-Lee receive a free rigorous math and science education that surpasses other online schools, and even rivals many other traditional colleges. However, that’s where the similarities between Lee’s institute of higher learning, and other players in the secondary education market end. Every semester students pay to take two elective classes to round out their schedule. It is these classes that have many scratching their heads, and students asking, “What is it that I’m paying for?”

With titles such as: Electronic Music Appreciation, Purple Things, The History of the Illuminati, Sound Sculpture, Real Conspiracies, What the Government Knows About You and What You Should Know About Them, and Bug Hunting, a class in which students learn to make a gadget that sweeps a room for listening devices, many have called into question the school’s curriculum. One of the most controversial electives is, “Regional Conversational English.” The class promises to not only teach real English terms and phrases useful in everyday conversations, but also with a regional touch, allowing students to “blend in wherever you travel.”

Lee says, “Automatic translator software is really good now, but letting your ceremplant do all the work for you can make you look lazy, especially in a job interview. Traditional language classes are a joke, teaching you things you’d never say. I’ve been around the world, and not once did I need to ask someone where the library was. I provide my students with real word phrases, and a mastery of local vernacular that will assure them an easy transition into any area, and maybe even land them the job of their dreams.”

However, Magnus Jorgensen, a 25-year-old PhD student is one of many to say that the phrases they learned in the English program ruined their interviews. Jorgensen says he had always dreamed about working at the Lahaina Veilcorp research lab, and took the class to give him an edge in the interview. The Oslo native says the program teaches you an opening paragraph to memorize, tailored for the position you are applying for, and the location of the business. Magnus says in his case, his opener turned out to be a confusing mishmash of different slang. Everyone was smiling when I walked into the room, but when I spoke the lines I had learned from Academic-Lee, everyone was laughing uncontrollably. Not good laughing.”

I said: “Eh braddahs, sistahs howzit?! I been dreaming bout dis since small kid time. I get dat I’m a newb and you’ll have me grinding on some low level things for a bit, but I rajah dat. I aint lolo. You don’t have to worry bout me going AFK during work hours. I promise that I’ll lock on dah task like an aimbot and go all aggro over it. Dis meeting has been a dream come true for me. Mahalo for your kōkua.”

Despite the controversy Lee stands behind the academy and his curriculum. He says,

“We are an unaccredited institution for a reason. We don’t want to be bound by what the government or big corporations think our students should learn. I’ll admit that the position and location slang generators sometimes trip over each other, but to say that no one in a professional setting talks like this is laughable. I’ve: single handedly revitalized the pineapple business in Hawaiia, created technology used by over a dozen countries and our own Navy to keep swimmers safe, and been recognized for my outstanding educational work with children. And let me assure you, bruddah, I say some of these things, or much worse in meetings all the time.”

STORYLINE

Services At County Satellite Kiosks Remain Limited After Security Breach

AI.jpg

9 automated city hall kiosks remain closed today, after an apparent security breach that disrupted services and put the data of thousands in jeopardy. Hundreds have experienced ongoing issues with the Phxicom systems. Officials say that If the problem is not resolved by Saturday, they are considering asking police to waive citations to drivers with vehicle registration tags that expire this month.

“Yes, we are still experiencing outages and slower response times,” County spokesperson Ellen Pahili says. “It’s affecting vehicle registration, state IDs, moped and bicycle registration, out-of-state license transfers, bus passes, county tax records anything that affects Maui County having to access the City and County’s main frame. However, we are working hard with our Phxicom partners to fix the issues. In the meantime we are still able to process Hailoha renewals and provide disabled parking placards.”

Pahili says they have rolled back all Phxicom related changes to the system, and are tracking down the source of the changes. They have hired an outside security firm to go over the compromised systems to help assess the scope of the intrusions and identify any other potential problems. Officials urge users to change their passwords and PIN numbers, and remind residents that nobody from the county or Phxicom will ever ask for their passwords. Local tech gadfly Ano Lee says that he’s disappointed but not surprised that the kiosks were targeted. “Everyone knows how insecure Phxicom equipment is. When they installed their terminals in the preservation zone, people had a field day breaking into them. I would suggest the county listen closely to whatever their outside security firm says and act on their recommendations.”

What was supposed to be a model for the future of efficient governance and citizen interactions, has turned into a nightmare for Mayor Cravalho, Phxicom, and residents alike. Phxicom’s kiosks were supposed to provide citizens with a fast and easy way to conduct business and obtain a wide array of permits, passes, and licenses 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. But the problems are not confined to customers trying to use the kiosks, many who’ve had their data exposed have experienced problems too.

Local noodle shop owner “Uncle” Ralph Umeke says that he received a notice last week that was quite a shock. “I don’t cheat anyone, not customers, not tourists, and certainly not the government. I pay my taxes on time and I’ve never even filed for an extension. Imagine my surprise when I got a notice that I had 90 days to come up with $105,573.60 for back taxes. According to the County I hadn’t paid my property taxes for the past 6 years. I told everyone they had to leave, closed the shop, and marched right down to Cravalho’s office to find out what the hell the problem was. They told me it was all the fault of that Phxicom AI.”

Following the success of SSHAM’s customer service AI Shawn, Phxicom began working on their own system to oversee the operations of the kiosks and Phxie was created. According to Scott Parata, Phxicom’s Regional Operations Manager, the AI was thoroughly tested before being put into service but fell victim to a group using social engineering techniques to gain access to sensitive systems. A statement released by the company reads in part,

“It appears that Phxie’s urge to be helpful led to some unintended consequences in this case. We have taken steps to improve its security protocols and have ensured nothing like this will happen again. We understand that the months of quality service before this incident is little comfort to those inconvenienced by this breach and we apologize. We would like to point out however, that Phxie continues to operate 11 more such programs across the islands efficiently and without incident. We’ve addressed the issues leading to this unfortunate event and are working hard to expedite any further delays and regain your trust.”

However, that trust may be hard to win back for some. Lahaina resident John Driscol says that the security breach didn’t just put his data at risk; It endangered his life. He says that an incorrectly cancelled buss pass left him stranded and afraid for his well being.

“The beaches are a little too busy for my tastes these days. Lately I’ve been taking the bus to the furthest stop from town and walking into the preservation zone for some peace and quiet. There’s a little stream I like to sit next to because the sound of the water drowns out the birds. Those things can really make a racket on a sunny day. Anyway, I got a little too comfortable and fell asleep. Next thing you know it’s dusk and I have run back to catch the last bus. When the reader scanned my pass it was denied. I tried a couple more times to no avail. I tried to tell the driver that the system was wrong, that I paid for a full year, but I was too winded from running. When I stepped off to catch my breath, he just left without me. I reached for my phone but I must have dropped it while I was running. My house is at least 9 miles from where I was. The farthest I’ve ever walked was 5 miles, and that was back in college. I knew it was going to be an ordeal but I didn’t have a choice, and started the long journey back. I made good time for the first couple miles but then fatigue began to set in. I stumbled for hours in the dark. I can’t tell you how cold it was. I’m not sure if they can test if you had hypothermia in the past or not, but I feel like I definitely had it that night. Finally, I saw some headlights. It was a tourist in one of those public Manimal ATVs. I usually make it a rule to never ride in one because of their reputation, but I was so cold that I took the risk. Phxicom and the County better hope I didn’t catch any weird forest disease while I was walking out there.”

STORYLINE

Ano Lee given award for unique summer enrichment program

toools.jpg

Inventor Ano Lee has been given a coveted Kahu award for a summer enrichment program designed to teach kids about the seafaring history of the Polynesian people. Kids enrolled in the 6 week program build a replica of a traditional sea-going canoe, while learning how their ancestors navigated the open ocean with nothing but the knowledge of the stars, currents, and ocean swells. Dedicated to the preservation of Hawaiian culture and the education of native Hawaiians, The Office of Hawaiian Culture (OHC) gives the Kahu award every year to a person who has acted to help protect Hawaiian culture and traditions.

Traditional Polynesian navigation techniques were used for thousands of years to make long voyages across huge distances of open ocean. Navigators were revered, passing on their wayfinding techniques and vast knowledge of the sea by oral tradition, often in the form of songs. By sharing this knowledge from master to apprentice, these early sailors settled islands across the Pacific Ocean.

Lee was always fascinated by stories of these early navigators and has been sharing that enthusiasm with students for the past 4 years. The unique summer program teaches underprivileged and at risk students how to build a traditional ocean going canoe, in the double-hulled style, used by Polynesian sailors for many millennia. In addition, the kids learn how to navigate using nothing but the stars, winds, currents, bird species and waves. Ano teaches the kids how to make and use traditional stick charts, an ancient mapping system that relies heavily on ocean swells as a means of navigation.

“We learn some really cool facts about about early sailors and what it took to explore the ocean,” says 12-year-old Nate Acosta. A participant in the very first program, Nate says he looks forward to the class all year and plans to spend every summer at Lee’s maker commune.

“The stick charts are the best part. I’ve been practicing making them ever since Ano taught us about them. While it isn’t exactly a real chart, I’ve got one that shows where the school, the beach, and the convenience store is from my house. It took a lot of courage to go out to sea with nothing but the stars and a stick map to guide you. I don’t think people appreciate how smart our forefathers were. They spread out over thousands of miles without GPS or radios to call for help if they got lost. It makes me feel proud to learn how clever and brave they were and how much you can do without fancy equipment if you know what to do. I wouldn’t know any of this if it wasn’t for Ano. I love this program. Also, there are lasers everywhere around here. Ano lets us have all the Manimal we can drink and there’s tons of chips to eat. Best of all, we don’t get in trouble when we swear; this is the best summer camp ever!”

“Hawaii has been very good to me and I’ve had a few major successes in the past few years,” says Lee. “My pineapple drones are revitalizing pineapple farming on the isalnds and my sharknet system is keeping sailors and surfers safe. The least I can do is give a little something back. I see myself in a lot of these kids. Many of them haven’t had the easiest lives and I try to be a positive influence and resource for them. I tell them every year that summer may end, but the class never does. They’re always welcome here if they need to talk, or just want to build something.”

The kids don’t just get a history lesson at Lee’s camp, they get a mentor and hands-on technical and fabrication experience. The culmination of 6 weeks of ancient history, printer programming, and boat assembly is a day-long voyage to Kaunakakai on Moloka’i. There, the kids have lunch, show off their work, and answer questions from the curious before returning home. The excursions have become a popular event over the years and garner a lot of local media attention. At the end of the summer, the boat is auctioned off with the proceeds going towards the kids education.

Ano adds,

“Although we use upgraded materials and have the latest navigation equipment available in case of emergency, these kids get a feel for what it would be like to explore the ocean 2,000 years ago. We use the old ways, following the terns and the shearwaters to find our destination even if we’re sitting in massage chairs and listening to music from a state of the art sound system while we’re doing it. Besides that and the cooler, microwave, and underwater cameras, you’d have a hard time telling our canoes apart from something the ancient mariners might have used. My greatest hope is that I’ve inspired at least one of these kids to keep the circle going and one day they pass on the knowledge they got from this program. I don’t think it gets any better than that.”

STORYLINE

Inventor Develops Pineapple Picking Drones

pinappple.jpg

Hawaii was once responsible for 80% of the world’s pineapple production, but times have changed. Economic realities and a decrease in available farmland have pushed most production to Central and South America. The fruit that is so synonymous with the islands is only grown commercially by a handful of farms on Maui today. One such operation, Ananas Farms, is trying to reverse the trend with the help of a local inventor. The farm hopes that their pineapple picking drones will make the fruit a major crop in Hawaii again.

Well known by Lahaina residents, Ano Lee might not be what you expect when you imagine a brilliant inventor. The 43-year-old has lived in a maker commune just outside of town since he was a teenager. “My mom and dad built this place as a refuge for artists and craftsmen, and I’m just trying to honor their vision,” says Lee. Dressed in his usual board shorts and rubber slippahs, he admits that he only owns one pair of dress pants. “I think we can all agree that suits and ties are not the wellspring of creativity,” he quips. If his past projects are any indication, he may be right.

2 years ago Lee created a shark mitigation system that put him into the national spotlight. The Naval Research Laboratory (NRL) entered into a development partnership with Lee and is currently using a version of the system now. While his latest invention may not save as many lives, it has huge implications for the future of Hawaiian agriculture. According to Lee, it all started with a bet.

“I hear people say that they love pineapple all the time, but I REALLY love them. If nature has made anything better, I haven’t found it. Ananas Farm is close so I would usually pick up a couple there every day. There’s nothing like a pineapple fresh off the plant. Walking over there got to be a hassle so I asked if I could just pay ahead of time and send a drone over to pick a couple. Roy told me that he wouldn’t have a problem with it, but it was impossible to automate pineapple picking. He told me that if I could come up with a way to do it, he’d let me have free pineapple for life; so I started to tinker around with a solution.”

What Ano came up with is a drone picking and planting system that promises to change the business. Before his invention, it was commonly thought that the processes involved in pineapple production were too complex for automation. However, Lee’s pineapple-bots have overcome every obstacle. A skilled worker can plant 5-6 thousand pineapples a day. The drone can plant around 10 thousand. They are capable of breaking down mother plants for re-planting and can carry up to 6 fruits at a time. Even though their main power source is solar, a battery system allows the bots to work through the night. Lee adds, “The lights allow you to track their work at night and avoid getting smacked in the head by a drone dropping off a load. Best of all I added a really cool strobe feature. You have no idea how awesome a pineapple field looks with 20 high-powered strobe lights going off!”

Roy Ananas says that the farm’s production costs have decreased greatly, while production is up almost 30% since using the drones. “We’re getting calls from all over the place. Companies have been trying to automate pineapple farming since the early 1900’s. It was accepted that it was impossible. What Ano has come up with is amazing! We’re excited about the future here and for the industry as a whole. I just wish I had offered him free fruit in exchange for groundbreaking innovation before. We joke around about how he could revolutionize the world if we could figure out what else he likes to eat.”

Ano says he’d like to refine the pineapple-bots a bit more before he takes on another project,

“There’s still a few issues to work out but I can see these drones being used for a number of other purposes. Cleaning up ocean trash, and a wide variety of construction projects are on the short list right now. We’re working on a way to combine one with a printer in order to make tools and supplies on the fly so-to-speak. The last few years have been really good to me. I want to make sure that I give the drones all the attention they deserve before I move on to something else. I have some ideas about a self-cleaning plate system, and an inflatable pant design that should have the belt industry quaking in their boots. I’m not overly concerned about what’s next. I know I’ll always have a big bowl of pineapple whatever the future holds.”

STORYLINE

Service Helps Customers Find a Free Meal and Curtail Food Waste

meat_2.jpg

If one Maui resident has his way, you’ll never have to eat alone again. Famed inventor and Lahaina native Ano Lee has created a service to help customers locate communal meals near them. The “Featser” service offers the hungry: “a real-time map with the closest luau or potluck in your area, alerts warning you when meals are about to begin, and a unique tagging feature that lets other users know what sorts of foods are available, and the quality of the company there.” Lee says nothing is more Hawaiian than a communal meal, and he hopes his “Feaster” service can bring people closer through the sharing of food.

With an estimated 5,000 luaus held every year in Maui alone, you are never far from a celebration of food when you are on the island. However, according to Lee, up until now there hasn’t been a good way to find people enjoying a big meal and looking to meet new people. “There’s nothing sadder than eating alone,” he says.

“Most cultures understood how sharing a meal forms lasting bonds and cultivates understanding. Whether it was an ancient feast after battle, a dinner celebrating the joining of two dynasties, or the sacred luau, there is no doubt that communal eating is good for the soul. That’s what Feaster is about, bringing new people to the table and finding a free meal for our users. Every year people throw away millions of tons of SSHAM casserole, gelatin desserts, and other potluck foods while many of us are relegated to eating fast food because we don’t have time to cook. We’re nurturing the aloha spirit, as well as doing something about the problem of food waste. Feaster users are not only making new friends, they’re putting that unwanted food in their bellies, instead of a landfill. It doesn’t matter if it’s a tourist luau, a church potluck, a wedding reception, or just a really huge meal cooked by your tutu, there are Feaster users interested in helping you get rid of your leftovers, and sharing a smile or two.”

While the idea of sharing a big meal with strangers sounds good to some, the service is not without issues. Concerns have been raised about food safety, but most troubling are the numerous complaints about Feaster’s crashing events, walking off with bags full of buffet food, and even breaking into private residences demanding to be fed.

A Feaster who agreed to talk to the Lahaina advertiser on the condition of anonymity says many users he knows use the service instead of getting groceries. “Nobody likes standing in lines to get ingredients that you probably can’t cook correctly anyway. With Feaster you can find a Luau or something almost every day. All you need to do is bring some plastic containers and act like you belong there. On a good Sunday you can stock up enough food for the week off of just a handful of gatherings. I’ve cut my weekly food bill by 80% and have only been ejected from an event a couple times, but I try to be respectful. I have heard about people finding a cooler in a park and tagging it, or just grabbing a burger off of an unattended grill. I don’t condone that kind of activity, but I think wedding receptions, and birthday parties should be fair game as long as you fill your containers respectfully.”

Lee says that he feels confident in the safety of the food Feasters find, “Many of these meals may come from home kitchens, but that doesn’t mean the food’s no good, unless you’re eating at my aunt Mirry’s house. Then you should run,” Lee jokes.

“As far as the complaints about users crashing parties or stealing food out of coolers, those are isolated incidents, and don’t represent the actions of most Feasters. We are very clear in our apps terms of service that users should: make super sure that the host of a big meal is open to having company, that they should behave appropriately, and they should knock or ring the doorbell to any home before entering. We aggressively discourage users from bringing any sort of container or bag for leftovers. Everyone has to click on that little “I Agree” box before they can use Feaster, besides becoming the food police, I’m not sure what else we can do. All in all I’m really excited about the future of Feaster. This time of year many of us are reflecting on all the blessings we have in our lives. There isn’t a better time to give back some of that love to the world by sharing some food you probably weren’t going to eat anyway.”

STORYLINE

Kalani Custom Boards Push the Boundaries of Surfing Technology

As undisputed queen of the surf Layla Kalani reigns supreme in the sport of surfing. As the Womanimal spokesperson she has become one of the most recognized faces in the world. Now, despite initial concerns about price and design, she is poised to become the producer of the greatest surf boards ever created. Kalani Custom Boards push the boundaries of surf science, and according to experts, might just be worth the eye-opening price tag.

According to Kalani the idea of a state-of-the-art board company came to her while working on, Veil of Terror: A Bride’s Nightmare, her first movie. “I had no idea how much technology was involved in making a movie. The cameras and the mounts they used to stabilize them were incredible. What the video drones could do was amazing, I didn’t know just how far advanced movie making had become. We had almost as many technicians on set as sound and lighting people. That got me thinking about how little surf science has advanced over the years. Since we were filming in Lahaina, I knew just the person to talk to about pushing the boundaries of design: Ano Lee.”

“I didn’t know much about making surf boards when Layla talked to me about it, but I love a challenge, and knew someone who had been hand-shaping boards his whole life, my cousin Leelee,” Lee says. The culmination of that conversation made its debut last month to cheers and skepticism. Despite initial shock at a price tag that can reach over $20k, and some issues with its paddle assist system, sales have steadily increased, with owners hailing the pricey boards as the best ever made.

Kalani Customs are built on a parabolic carbon fiber frame with an expanded polystyrene (EPS) core, and covered in a proprietary epoxy resin. The result is a board that “stores and releases energy as you transition through turns and provides a highly responsive ride, perfect for ultra-performance surfing.” However, it is its other features, and the creation process itself, that sets the boards apart.

While the boards are built with the same basic components, each is personally shaped by Wiley Lee, (Leelee to everyone we interviewed), Ano’s cousin. Leelee requires a personal meeting with each client before completing a board. He says, “We’re making extensions of clients to meet the sea here. The better I can get to know a person, the better I can make their perfect board. I need to look into someone’s eyes to know what to put beneath their feet.” Along with Leelee’s personal touch, the boards include: a photo realistic covering preloaded with 3 unique designs (more can be purchased through the company), a built in shark mitigation system, and an amazing paddle assist feature.

“I’m most proud of the paddle assist,” says Lee. “I’ve integrated a magnetohydrodynamic drive (MHD) system into each board. Without getting into the specifics, it basically uses an electrical current in the surrounding water to help propel the board. The technology is quite old actually. They built a prototype system in 1965 and a ship called the Yamato-1 used a MHD drive to cruise through Kobe harbor in the 1990’s, but the technology has gotten a lot better in the last 50 years. With a person paddling and the assist working, one of our boards can hit 8 knots (9.2 mph), about 3 times faster than you can paddle or swim. We want our clients to get to the waves first and maybe get a little boost getting out the end of a grinder.”

While the company says they have worked out the initial complaints about the assist system, many clients say they are still waiting for Layla and crew to make good on refund or replacement promises. Local business owner Ronnie Kalipalani is one such disgruntled customer. “The crew thought I was crazy when I bought 4 of them when they first came out, but I’m a big believer in playing hard and teamwork. I’ve found that nothing brings a construction crew together after a morning of pouring concrete and pounding nails, like an afternoon of surfing. They worked great at first. Honestly, they’re super nice boards, but then I wiped out and the board kept going without me. Luckily, it shot itself straight into the beach. I swam in to warn everyone to be extra careful, but it was too late. I watched $40k worth of boards go out to sea after their riders fell off. One got stuck in a cove a few miles away and we got it back, but we figure the other is somewhere around Guam by the direction it was heading. They fixed the issue with the boards we saved, and Layla herself promised me a refund for the fourth, but I haven’t received anything yet.”

Kalani says that they have fixed the glitch, and the assist system will no longer operate without a person being on the board. She explains that the company is still reviewing claims, but is in the process of providing refunds, or replacement boards to everyone who had issues like Kalipalani. As far as other complaints are concerned, Kalani marks them up to traditional thinking and living in the past. “The problem is the purists,” she says. “Look, there’s still people who will tell you that flying, or going down the rail is the only way to travel, and that veiling takes all the adventure out of traveling. Obviously, being a purist doesn’t make you right. It makes you stuck in the past. I wanted to make a board that was as revolutionary as my surfing style, and that’s what we’re doing. Our boards are the future of surfing.”

STORYLINE

Lahaina Man Invents Printable Shark Mitigation System

The spring season is just around the corner and the island is about to see a big increase in surfers. With half of Maui situated within 5 miles of the coast, it is no wonder that so many seek out the waves. Whether it is the big consistent waves of the North shore or the gentle breakers offered by numerous other spots, the island is considered a jewel by longboarders of all skill levels. While a day on the waves can seem like a dream come true, it comes with one unlikely but still terrifying possibility, a shark attack. Local inventor Ano Lee says he’s come up with a solution to the problem and that his new printable Sharknet system will help surfers sleep a bit easier.

The history of shark deterrents is long and interesting. During the second world war, militaries poured money into research in order to develop a system to keep downed pilots and sailors safe. Early solutions were chemical: Repellants were made from naturally occurring irritants and a wide array of copper compounds. Some tried to harness the odor of dead sharks or use semiochemical solutions like strong pheromones, all with less than stellar results.

Magnetic and electrical mitigation systems were developed later with better results but they tended to be bulky or impractical. Smart buoy and sonar systems proved to be an effective warning system but not of much use once a shark decided to attack. Lee’s Sharknet device borrows a little from each of these previous attempts.

The Sharknet module sits on the bottom of a board and looks like a streamlined oversized hockey puck. The device uses sonar to scan the surrounding water for activity out to 100 yards. Data is analyzed for the distinct movements of sharks, and an alert message is sent via your Ceremplant if a shark is detected. This message is also sent to anyone else within a mile who is using the Sharknet system. In addition, the device creates an electromagnetic field that overloads the electroreceptive sensory organs unique to sharks called the ampullae of Lorenzini. This acts as a barrier to any interested sharks. But that’s just the beginning of what makes his invention extraordinary according to Lee.

“The latest model has all that shark stuff, but it is a huge improvement over the earlier version. I’ve managed to incorporate 4 multicolored 300mW lasers that look totally awesome in the water. I’ve heard some people worry that it might not be good for the coral, but that’s because they haven’t seen how cool it looks when you’re going up a wave, especially at night. I also had some trouble with the electromagnetic field interfering with the piezo plates and messing up the sound the boards could make but I figured out a solution. The new one lets you use your board as a speaker even when a shark is making a run at you,”

The fact that surfers account for around 50% of worldwide shark attacks makes the possibility a concern for everyone who enjoys riding the waves. Womanimal World Champion Layla Kalani famously had an encounter with an aggressive tiger shark during a competition back in 2023. Coming off her best season yet, the multiple time champion said, “Growing up in Lahaina, I know Ano well. He was always coming up with cool gadgets in school, but this thing is amazing! I’d definitely recommend putting one of these on your board if you are worried about sharks. I just wonder if Ano is making something to warn them about me. You have to remember that the last time I came face to face with a shark, I wasn’t the one who needed saving.”

It’s not just famous surfers who are interested in Sharknet. A number of companies and research organizations have expressed interest in the system. According to Lee the phone has been ringing off the hook and he gave up on answering his email. Even the Naval Research Laboratory (NRL) has reached out to talk about a development partnership.

“It’s crazy how many people want to talk about Sharknet with me. I was totally honored that the Navy seems interested. I have mad respect for the men and women in our military. That’s why I really pushed home the point that I’d love to work with them but they had to be really careful about not turning on the lasers unless the board was in the water. Blinding a sailor is the last thing I want to happen. I made sure to include some eye protection with the couple units I sent them just in case the sailor’s desire to shred overcomes good sense.”

STORYLINE

How Technology Created To Help the Blind Can Pick the Perfect Pizza

pizza.jpg

Back in 2025 Vereserum made big waves in the news with the announcement of their Ceremplant chip. Developed by their injectables division, the small chip was designed to offer hope to millions of people worldwide suffering from severe visual impairments. The device worked by taking in visual information through tiny connections directly from the eye, or through a kind of “nose antenna” in some cases, and processing that information directly into the visual centers of the brain. Better yet, the Ceremplant was piezoelectrically powered by the vibration of the tiny bones in the human ear and natural body movements. Once it was implanted it never needed to be removed for a battery change.

The Ceremplant represented a huge step forward in a number of technologies and was fast tracked through FDA testing. Initial results were amazing. Its size and method of implantation meant that it could be installed in a doctor’s office by a trained professional, eliminating more costly and dangerous medical procedures. Virtually all subjects regained at least some visual capabilities with most getting back full 20/20 vision.

Vereserum’s invention was a huge medical breakthrough but it was ironically undone by yet another medical breakthrough, personalized DNA medicine. Companies like Reparre Biologics had been hard at work perfecting new stem-cell therapy techniques and had just finished their own FDA trials. Their advances made the Ceremplant obsolete before it was ever through testing. The stem-cell medicine was cheaper, safer, and more effective for around 90% of patients.

While there were still thousands suffering from cortical visual impairment (CVI) who could be helped by the injectable technology, its future was not going to be as widespread as Vereserum hoped, and the company all but discontinued research and development. The future of the technology seemed bleak until a few years ago when the body modification and bio-hacking community started showing interest. Now it seems that the implant’s future is brighter than ever, even if some say that future is a frivolous one.

Veresrum opened the code to their 1st generation Ceremplant soon after cutting off funding, and that’s when the bio-hackers started to experiment with the technology. Within a few months members of the community had created a Ceremplant that offered a real-time overlay of your surroundings with street addresses. Soon after, someone added a business review feature. Then a social app popped up, and the ball kept rolling. A full software suite now exist for the Ceremplant including a rudimentary facial recognition program, image editing software, messaging services, and chess. All of this created by passionate enthusiasts who keep coming up with new features and uses everyday.

The buzz is so big in fact, that Vereserum has announced plans to restart their own program again, even if some inside the company seem less than thrilled with what their technology has become.

“At one time the Ceremplant represented hope for millions. A visually disabled person could have their life forever changed in a half hour thanks to
our technology. Now our implant is associated with wifi-broadcasting-gauged ears, and implanted LED horns. People are using it to have pizza delivered in 30 minutes or less. While I’m impressed with some of the innovations, and glad that the chips are being used again, I wish they weren’t being squandered on such inconsequential matters,” says Vereserum CTO Ryan Mandal.

Not everyone thinks pizza acquisition is a meaningless pursuit however. Local bio-hacker Ano Lee has created what he calls “the most advance pizza procurement system known to man” using a Ceremplant. Ano’s system monitors brain activity and targets toppings and crust options that receive the most attention and places an order automatically. “One of the biggest problems with ordering pizza is trying to decide what you want on it. My Perfect Pizza program takes all the guess work out of it and places the order for you.”

Using the implants to identify injured people and transmit medical or financial records are almost certain according to enthusiasts. They think it may be possible to record memories one day, and even play them back. Ano and many others say that the future of the technology is almost limitless. “I believe that you could even store all the memories and biological information about a person in a Ceremplant one day. Just think, everything that makes you, you, would be on something the size of a grain of rice. If you can think it you can do it with one of these,” he says.

STORYLINE

Kitchen Accident Turns Into Billion Dollar Industry For Local Man

Thomas Edison once famously said that none of his inventions came by accident, and that being a successful inventor boiled down to “1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.” That may have been true for Edison, but local resident Art Pua’a had a very different journey. You may not recognize the name, but you undoubtedly know about Art’s happy kitchen accident. Chances are you have a pantry full of his invention. Art created the wildly popular meat product, SSHAM.

Shrimped, salted ham has grown into a multi-billion dollar industry from its humble beginnings in Art’s kitchen. Last year over 10 million cans were sold in Hawaii alone, making it the most popular processed meat product in history. It’s true that the pig meeting shrimp for spicy-salted-goodness flavor takes a while to get used to for the uninitiated, the smell in particular can be a high hurdle. One critic famously described the smell as something like, “a pig with legs made out of rotting shrimp playing in a puddle of industrial waste,” Pua denies rumors that SSHAM is made from a shrimp-pig hybrid that Vereserum of Lahaina created in some late night experiment. In fact, Art says the first batch was born from necessity, convenience, and a little luck.

He says,

“It was late December 2029 and I was sitting at home with my jaw wired shut. We had a bunch of friends and relatives over for the holidays, and they wanted to try out the new ziplines in town. Needless to say there was an accident that involved my face and the side of a building. I broke my jaw in 3 places, and was sitting at home watching everyone eat and laugh while waiting to take another sip of my liquid pain medication. Everyone went to bed, but I couldn’t sleep so I went into the kitchen, broke out the blender, and started to look for something that I could liquify. Pickings were slim, but eventually I found some shrimp cocktail, a cuban sandwich, and a few other secret ingredients. I put it all together and pushed the button. After a few minutes, things looked smooth enough for me, and I had a taste. I was amazed at how good it was. I ended up sitting on the back deck taking small sips out of the blender cup and passed out. When I woke up everyone was raving about the blender loaf I made. It was unusually hot that week, and I guess I left the blender under the glass table at just the right angle. The sun had cooked the top half, and for some reason my uncle tried some before throwing it away. If it wasn’t for uncle Andy’s penchant for eating anything, SSHAM might not exist today. The rest has been an amazing journey. I’m not saying it was always an easy one, but the public response has been great. I especially love all the different ways people are using it.”

There’s no doubt that millions of people enjoy the flavor of SSHAM, but that is just a part, the smallest part one might argue, of the products allure. One of the earliest advertising taglines, “Tell us what you do with your SSHAM” was a huge success, with multiple websites and cottage industries born from the campaign. The company now proudly claims that SSHAM is “The meat of 1,000 uses.”

Art has a team that searches for the best recipes and uses for his creation, and posts them on the company’s site. The uses cover a wide range and some are quite creative. According to the site, SSHAM makes a good fish bait if you run out and rubbed liberally on the skin makes an effective mosquito repellent. Bits of it left around the outside of your home can even deter termites according to one claim. Others say that SSHAM promotes healing and a slice can be used to treat minor cuts, scrapes, and burns. People claim that applying a paste made from the product to your feet at night helps draw out toxins. There is even a beauty spa in Maui that offers SSHAM facials.
Other uses include: Mixing with antacids to make a strong natural glue, inserting a small strip of cloth in the middle to make an emergency candle, and drying a can to use the crumbled SSHAM as a furniture polish.

Even the packaging is special. SSHAM makes its containers of a natural plastic derived from shrimp shells. “We pride ourselves on sustainability,” says Art. The special nature of the containers make it popular with hobbyists and artists alike. Local artisan Ano Lee makes bags and device protectors out of the containers at his maker commune in Lahaina. “Of course we love to eat it just like everyone else, but we also believe in using every part of the SSHAM here,” he says.

SSHAM has plenty of more traditional users as well. It’s almost impossible to not find an infused shot or tea on the islands, and it is widely used as a flavoring agent in restaurants despite it’s famously strong smell. When asked about it a local chef answered, “I’ll be honest it takes a while to get used to, but after using it for so many years now I actually like the smell. It smells like….nature.”

SSHAM’s popularity shows no signs of slowing down with Art saying that he is in the planning stages of building a new factory in Lahaina now. “The new facility is just the beginning. We’re talking with a few outlets about doing a show highlighting the different things SSHAM can do, and we plan on testing a few new flavors next year. I can’t get into specifics, but if you like fruity or spicy flavors you’ll be happy with what we have coming.”