STORYLINE

Lahaina Inventor Makes Breakthrough In Printable Hair

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Medical technology has improved by leaps and bounds over the past few decades. The development of stem cell therapies has slashed recovery times and provided cures for once terminal diseases. However, one common condition has avoided an easy or affordable solution until now, hair loss. Famed Lahaina inventor Ano Lee says the days of just living with your thinning hair are over. Along with his partners at Reparre Biologic, Lee has made a printable hair breakthrough that promises to put locks instead of lotion on millions of bald heads across the country.

“It was one of those happy accident things,” says Lee. According to the Lahaina native, his breakthrough wasn’t intended to address hair loss at all. “We were working on bringing our cosplay to a whole new level and accidentally came up with a hair restoration revolution.”

“One of the most important parts of any costume is the hair. Unfortunately, video game designers and comic book artists rarely consider how hard it is to reproduce some of their looks. There’s no doubt that giant red hair spikes on your cosmic ogre look terrifying, but it’s almost impossible to recreate in the real world without costly and cumbersome wigs. I thought a lot about it during my long recovery from an illness last year. During my treatments, I was talking to one of Reparre’s R&D specialists about the problem and we came up with a way to print your favorite cosplay hair with a level of authenticity never possible before. When the company suggested we focus on “normal” hair as well for people going bald, I thought ‘why not?’

All a person needs is a hi-res picture of themselves and the hair in question, the stem cell materials from Reparre, and a 3D printer. The hair strips adhere themselves to the area once prepared and last for as long as 30 days before they need a touch-up. Soon it won’t just be movie stars and comic book heroes with great hair. Our solution is just as good as high-end salon treatments for a fraction of the price.”

Despite Lee’s enthusiasm, not everyone is sold. Yvonne Masters of the Kokua Wellness Center says, “Unfortunately for Mr. Lee and the poor people who have ruined their look with his sticky hair strips, you get what you pay for.” Masters cautions that hair is nothing to play with.

“Since the dawn of civilization hair has been a symbol of power and beauty. We pay respect to the power of hair at Kokua and only use proven Newuskin technology for our follicle transformations. I can only hope that the inartful placing and lack of holistic styling involved in this cheap and short-sighted practice don’t lead to irregular hair growth, social stigmatism, and tragically split ends.”

Masters may have a point. Despite a promising start to Lee’s pilot program in Lahaina, there have been a handful of issues. Shelby Pio, a resident of the exclusive Tanager Lane neighborhood, has been one of the unlucky few to experience problems with the hair treatment. Pio may not be who you envision when you think about hair restoration solutions, but much to her dismay her kids experimented with the system at a friend’s house with some serious consequences.

“We haven’t had the best luck with beauty treatments in the Pio home and I forbid my husband to bring any of that stuff in the house. I told him I didn’t care if he was as bald as an egg. The Pio house was not going to be part of any more experimental procedures. I didn’t want any trouble, but trouble found me anyway.

Our oldest was playing at a friend’s house whose father is undergoing the treatments. The kids started talking about it and my son decided he wanted to look older, so they tried to print some hair for his chest. I guess they did something wrong along the way and didn’t prep the area properly. Next thing I know the cat comes running through the dining room like she saw the devil himself and in shuffles my son crying and covered in hair. My mouth and heart dropped when he walked into the kitchen. I don’t think I said anything for a few minutes. He looked like a sobbing werewolf. There was dark hair all over his arms, up his neck, and all across his torso. I nearly tore my hair out.

We tried shaving it off but it keeps coming back. The Reparre people say it might be another week or two before it stops growing. Even then, they say he might have abnormal hair growth permanently. I get up 30 minutes early to help brush him out before school, but he’s still leaving hairballs all over the classroom. As if having a son that looks like mopey bigfoot wasn’t bad enough, our HOA president fined us for having an unauthorized pet. She wants us to produce a doctor’s note certifying that Eric is still human before she’ll void the infraction. Our life is a tangled mess thanks to this printable hair nightmare.”

STORYLINE

Excitement and Controversy Over Upcoming Veil Stop Announcement Continues

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Veilcorp and the County of Maui are set to announce the locations of the first Veil Stops at the end of the week, amid increasing excitement and swirling controversy. Many still consider the next generation public transportation system a wonder, while some worry about safety and improper government influence. A number of recent reports regarding the possible health effects, and corruption have lessened the near unanimous support for the project.

Promising to revolutionize the way we travel locally, the Veil Stop network was met with excitement across the island back in January. Veilcorp said they could convert existing bus stops with little effort and could have a working system up and running within months. Since then, multiple delays, warnings from environmental groups, and corruption investigations have slowed progress and diminished public support for the project.

Mayor Albert Cravalho says that despite the controversy, he believes that the network will be a major attraction for tourists and a huge benefit to residents. “Every project is met with some sort of pushback, but I am confident that the Veil Stop network will change the day-to-day lives of many for the better. In spite of a few activists using bad science and rumors to derail the project, many business owners and residents see the possibilities that the Veil Stops afford and are excited.”

Inventor and technology gadfly Ano Lee is one such business owner. He has been pushing to have an out of service bus stop near his maker commune reopened as part of the pilot program. Lee says that the expansion of the preservation zone ended all public transportation in his area, and the Veil Stop project would return the valuable service to his neighbors and his business.

“Preservation zone rules have kept viable public transportation options out of the area, but the Veil Stop network could change all that. I think the old bus stop down the road is the natural choice. People have to understand what a hot-spot my Chacki Hut has become. Sure, tourists come to Lahaina for the crystal clear water, lush forests, and scenic cliffs. However, the hut is now rated as one of the most popular tourists destinations on a variety of social media outlets. Our selection of peel-n-stick LED lights is second to none, and as far as I know, there is nothing like our custom bobblehead machines anywhere on the island. Since we’re a little off the beaten path, I think it’s only natural that the pilot program start out here.”

Preservation zone compliance liaison to the mayor’s office Elizabeth Stonegate disagrees. She believes that the network should focus on currently active bus stops, saying that an active stop in the area would upset delicate natural areas. She counters, “There’s a reason that the bus routes in the area were discontinued, and it wasn’t to upset Ano Lee and his collection of ungroomables. The stop that Lee is pushing so hard to reopen is less than a mile from my home in Tanager Lane. As HOA president it is my job to protect my neighborhood and home values. I can assure you that the residents of Tanager Lane are not public transportation people. I’m sorry that visitors to Lee’s plastic shed will have to buy their trinkets and trance music somewhere else. There isn’t anything here for the kind of people who would visit his neck beard collective, certainly not a home in their price range. I think it is obvious that these people would be much happier in other areas of Lahaina.”

Chop House owner Bob Abramo agrees with Stonegate, and says the obvious location is one of the stops downtown. Abramo is nearing completion of a multi million dollar “Museum of Meat History” alongside his restaurant, and says that the interest in the new expansion makes his location the obvious choice. However, many have accused Abramo of using his position on the city council to unduly sway the planning committee’s decision. Known for his outlandish statements and direct manner, many are saying his “appreciation program” is a step too far, even for the larger-than-life Lahaina fixture.

He says,

“I really don’t know what all the fuss is about. You hear about people celebrating police officers and first responders all the time. I’m not saying we shouldn’t give a little extra thanks to these brave men and women, they do an incredible job. I’m just trying to recognize other public servants who are too often overlooked. I wanted to recognize those that work late hours missing diners to make sure that the paperwork was done in triplicate. I wanted to give the hardworking people who only have time for instant noodles during the day something they could appreciate. When we started looking at all the groups who put in a little something extra in our local government, one stood out immediately. I’m proud of the “Veil Stop Planning Committee Appreciation Program.” I’m offering everyone on the committee free meals this week at the Chop House. Frankly, with so many vying for their attention I thought it only right that I offered them a spot at my table to relax and make the right decision.”

The committee says they are still looking at a number of areas, and will announce the first Veil Stop locations early this Friday.

STORYLINE

Iron SSHAM Recalled After Dozens Injured by Bits of Metal

SSHAM lovers across Hawaii are checking their pantries today, after the company announced a massive recall. Wednesday night SSHAM recalled over 100,000 pounds of their new Iron SSHAM product over concerns of contamination. Dozens have been injured by metal bits found inside the new canned meat product. This is not the first time that the company has faced a massive recall. Last Summer, the company was forced to recall over 500,000 cans of SSHAM, SSHAM Less, and SSHAM Extra Spicy, after it was discovered that the Pilua Shrimp Farm, a local supplier, had numerous health and safety violations.

Company officials say that the recall is limited to Iron SSHAM found across the islands only, and all other SSHAM products are completely safe. The USDA’s Food Safety and Inspection Services (FSIS) says that anyone with a 12-oz. can containing “Iron SSHAM” with a “Best By” June 2076 date and production codes: SS90981, SS90982, SS90983, SS90984, SS90985, SS90986, SS90987, SS90988 and SS90989, should throw them away, return them to the place of purchase, or take them to one of the many inspection stations SSHAM has set up in metropolitan areas.

With many worrying that soil depletion and Veilcorp’s solar 127 production is leading to massive nutritional deficits in crops, the supplement business is booming. Many food companies are riding that wave by fortifying their products with vitamins and minerals, including SSHAM. A company spokesperson says, “That was the idea behind Iron SSHAM. With the Hawaiian population aging, we found many islanders were worried about getting enough iron in their diet. Obviously mistakes were made. We’re working hard to prevent any further harm to our customers, and following up with everyone who was injured so far.”

A FSIS interview with one Lahaina resident unlucky enough to eat from a contaminated can reads in part, “I eat at least a couple of cans of SSHAM every week and was very excited that the company was offering a version fortified with iron as I suffer from anemia. Everyone has their favorite method of cooking it, but I prefer the creamy texture boiling a can provides. I knew something was different almost right away. Instead of melting smoothly in my mouth, the texture of Iron SSHAM was extra crunchy and a bit sharp. I bit down on something hard as I was chewing, and spit out a bunch of blood and a tiny piece of metal. I immediately took the can out of the garbage and read the label, but I didn’t see anything about chunks of metal in the ingredients, so I knew something was wrong.”

Dozens of others have had a similar experience, with hospitals and medical centers reporting numerous mouth injuries from those eating the product. SSHAM CEO and inventor Art Pua’a says that he is doing everything he can to ensure the safety of the public, and has started a unique safety campaign to reassure SSHAM customers.

In a statement released this morning he says,

“We take pride in being a Maui based company. We like to think of ourselves as a trusted neighbor, and we care deeply about every one of our customers. Up until this point, we have always made and packaged our product in our Lahaina facility ourselves, but in the rush to get this particular item on the shelves, we turned to a third party manufacturer. We trusted them to follow our strict quality and safety guidelines while we retrofitted our production line to accommodate the iron fortifying process. Unfortunately, it turns out enriching a product with iron was much harder than we expected, and our manufacturing partner had a fundamental misunderstanding of what it means to fortify something with iron… Working with the FSIS, we are doing everything we can to remove the cans contaminated with pieces of iron, have set up inspection stations in several areas, and are providing anyone who calls our 800 number a magnetic wand to pass over their SSHAM. By running the magnet over every slice, our customers can feel secure in knowing that their SSHAM is just as safe and delicious as it always is. If you find a slice that sticks to the magnet please do not eat it, and call us right away…By initiating this recall, and providing these numerous safety precautions, we hope to reassure our loyal customers so they can continue to make SSHAM the most loved canned meat product in the world.”

Lahaina residents wishing to have their SSHAM screened for safety can do so at Ano Lee’s maker commune, the area’s official inspection station. Mr. Lee says that the screening process is quick, and the station is open daily until 8 pm. Ano has found over 30 contaminated cans in less than 24 hours, but says that he doesn’t think people need to be overly concerned. “Look, I know better than most that mistakes happen. We haven’t found any metal bits in other types of SSHAM, just the iron formula. If you’re worried about it, just come down and we’ll scan your cans and run the big electromagnet over it. Believe me, if there’s any bits of metal stuck in there, they’ll come flying out. It’s actually kind of cool to watch, but if you have had any broken bones that required screws or plates, you should probably stand at least 50 feet away from the screening station. While you’re waiting to see if your food is riddled with iron shards, feel free to check out our Tchotchke Hut. If it’s made of plastic or glows in the dark, chances are you’ll find it inside. Best of all, if your SSHAM turns out to be contaminated with sharp bits of metal, we’ll dispose of it for you and give you 10% off anything in the store. I guarantee nothing in there will cut your mouth.”

STORYLINE

DLNR’s New Plan for Invasive Species: Eat the Invaders

The Hawaii Department of Land and Natural Resources (DLNR) has started an innovative and unusual campaign to rid Maui of one of the fastest-growing invasive species, the Red Swamp Crayfish. According to the DLNR, the crayfish eats crops, damages land, kills native species, are easy to catch, and are absolutely delicious. They are counting on the stomachs of hungry Hawaiians to do what years of chemical control efforts couldn’t hold the crustaceans in check.

Like so many of Hawaii’s invasive species, the story of the Red Swamp Crayfish, Procambarus clarkii, is one of unintended consequences. Introduced into taro patches near Ahuimanu Stream in O’ahu, the crayfish population exploded and became a serious threat to taro cultivation. The pests have been documented to consume taro, and rice, prey on insects, snails, and the eggs of native fish species. If that wasn’t bad enough, their burrows can cause bank erosion along streams and rivers, as well as drain taro fields.

With the help of tourists and collectors, the crayfish soon found their way to other islands, Maui in particular. Chemical controls over the past few years have proved ineffective at slowing down the population, and many are concerned about the use of potentially dangerous chemicals inside the preservation zone. After it was discovered that SSHAM affected the crustacean’s nervous system, many local streams were “chummed” with the canned meat product in an attempt to kill them off. However, the practice was stopped out of concerns about the long-term consequences on native species. “To be honest we were running out of ideas,” says the DLNR’s Greg Iona. “It was a trip to Louisiana by one of our officers that sparked the consumption campaign. We’re focused on getting the word out about the crayfish and letting people know that there is a great new seafood option right out their backdoor. They really are easy to catch, and quite delicious when prepared correctly.”

The State’s campaign highlights the abundance of crayfish in many streams around Lahaina and offers an open season on the pests. The DLNR provides cooking and catching tips on their website, as well as information regarding the damage caused by the species every year. Many local businesses are jumping on board, with local eateries offering crayfish dishes, and SSHAM CEO Art Pua’a saying the company plans on offering a clarkii blend within the next month. Nonetheless, not everyone is sold on eating the pests.

Hula Noodle owner Ralph Umeke says the crayfish will never be offered in his noodle shop. “They call them mudbugs for a reason,” he says. According to Umeke the crustaceans are foul-tasting and potentially dangerous.

“They’ve been putting a lot of pressure on restaurant owners to help promote this idea of theirs. They’ve even offered to provide the crayfish for the first few months for free, but I just can’t do it in good conscience. I’m not sure I have the words to describe what one of these things taste like. They’re awful. There isn’t enough garlic, butter, or rum in the world to make them edible. Imagine finding a pool that hasn’t been cared for in a couple years, drain it and wipe up the scum on the bottom with a piece of bread, that’s close. The first one I tried made me retch. Not only do they taste bad, but they are potentially dangerous. After doing a little research, I found that they have a propensity to accumulate environmental contaminants like: heavy metals, dangerous organic runoff compounds, and pesticides. They can also be vectors for several harmful human parasites including: the lung fluke, rat lungworm, and leptospirosis bacteria. I think trapping them is fine, but I wouldn’t put one in my mouth.”

The DLNR says that like many animals, crayfish living in polluted waters can be dangerous, but the water quality on the island makes them safe to eat. Despite what Umeke may think, they encourage the public to give the crayfish a try. Many are doing just that. Over the past weeks, crayfish fever has hit the island, and many businesses are cashing in. The Kokua Wellness Center is touting a line of crayfish-infused tonics and fresh fruit drinks.

Spokesperson Yvonne Masters says, “We are excited to offer a large variety of clarkii collagen infused health drinks. These natural healing tonics are perfect for: weight loss, boosting immunity, increasing bone density, and enhancing the skin. We use only local crayfish, blend them onsite, and extract the collagen fresh every day to maximize flavor and potency. We are recommending the drinks to our clients as a supportive health aid, to be used in conjunction with their usual Newuskin treatments.”

Rather than consumption, local inventor Ano Lee is focusing on catching the crayfish. Even though Lee himself recently battled a life-threatening leptospirosis infection, one of the pathogens found in the species, he says he is excited about the open season and has designed a unique trap perfect for catching buckets full.

“The pyramid-style trap, with three entrance funnels has been the industry standard for a long time because it is nearly perfect for its intended purpose. My design is similar, with adjustable funnels so it can be used on a variety of crustaceans including crabs, and spiny lobster, but that isn’t what sets my traps apart. It’s the sonic lure, that makes the difference with our traps. Most crustacean fishing is passive with scent lures designed to draw in your intended targets, but my traps send out a continuous low frequency pulse that calls out to the crayfish, and draws them in. I’m not sure if it’s an aggression or a sex thing, but they sure come running when they hear the noise.”

Lee disregards complaints that the sound produced by his traps has caused pets to become agitated, and reports that they have led to insomnia, unusual dreams, and ringing in the ears in people living near an active trap. He says, “It’s springtime and it’s only natural that animals are going to be more vocal at this time of year. The same goes for people. Sometimes you have weird dreams and can’t sleep. It happens to everyone. It happens to me all the time. I would suggest that these people get some noise-canceling headphones if it bothers them that much, and look up some crayfish recipes because they are going to catch a ton with my traps.”

STORYLINE

First Phase of Next-Generation Telemedicine Trial Nears Completion

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Imagine a time when most of your medical issues can be treated from the comfort of your own home rather than going to the hospital. For many patients it would be a dream come true. Studies have shown that people recovering in a familiar and comfortable environment, like their homes, have much better outcomes and recover up to 20% faster. Hospitals would benefit as well. It would open up beds for the most seriously ill patients and provide an effective way to isolate those with infections or communicable diseases. It has been estimated that over 800,000 people die every year in hospitals after developing infections. Now, thanks to an advanced telemedicine project by Reparre Biologic and The West Maui Medical Group, that time may be right around the corner.

The roots of telemedicine took hold in Australia in the early 1900s. People living in the remote locations of the outback developed an emergency system for communicating with the Royal Flying Doctor Service of Australia using a two-way radio system and a dynamo driven by bike pedals. Almost 90 years later an interactive system was designed to diagnose and treat patients who needed cardiac resuscitation. The field expanded into a few additional areas over the next 40 years but was mostly relegated to consultations, remote monitoring, and diagnostic services. Actually treating patients or performing procedures remotely was a rarity, and that was something Shawn Hastings, President of Reparre Biologic, wanted to change.

A total of 80 Maui residents participated in the first phase of Reparre’s telemedicine project. The program uses the ubiquitous ceremplant to allow nurses and hospitalists to monitor patients, helping to catch problems earlier and prevent potential crises. Twice a day physicians specialized in intensive care, take part in virtual rounds where they can ask questions and order new or different treatments. Those orders are then relayed to a specialized Reparre injectable medicine unit which is located in a patient’s home.

“We’re taking Telemedicine to the next level,” says Hastings.

“Of course this opens the door of possibility when it comes to treating people in remote locations but we’re trying to expand the idea to make it an everyday part of life. Our hope is that one day soon, with the help of this monitoring system, a board certified physician, and our personalized DNA medicine, hospitals will be reserved for the critically ill and those undergoing major surgery. Everything else will be treated safely and efficiently, with one of our injectable medicine units from the comfort of your own home. The first phase of our study is just wrapping up and everything is looking promising. We’ve seen a huge decline in secondary infections and other complications. In addition, recovery times have decreased greatly for those in the program and their overall satisfaction with their care is quite high. If the preliminary data holds true, we plan on expanding the program during phase II to the big island and will include a handful of remote and automated outpatient procedures at participating West Maui Medical Group facilities here.”

The second phase of the program would provide simple outpatient services for Maui residents such as: implantation of robotic stents that would help keep major vessels clear of plaque and obstructions, minor orthopedic surgeries, biopsies, and various endoscopy procedures. Hastings’ goal is to make most medical procedures as simple as making a bag of popcorn. He says a happy patient is a healthy patient.

Local inventor and engineer Ano Lee was one of the subjects who participated in the first trial and he couldn’t be happier. Lee developed a life threatening infection called Leptospirosis and let it go untreated until it was almost too late. “I just thought I’d been spending too much time in the hookah barn until I started to cough up blood,” he says. Usually passed on by rodents in developing areas, in recent years a number of people have contracted the disease in Hawaii from pigs contaminating water supplies. If left untreated the infection can cause bleeding in the lungs, meningitis, or kidney failure. In the past, cases as advanced as Lee’s would be deadly even if diagnosed, with a death rate greater than 50% with antibiotic treatment.

“I really dodged a bullet. They told me that Reparre’s stem-cell-therapy in conjunction with heavy antibiotics improved my chances of survival quite a bit, but there was still a chance that I wouldn’t pull through. Going through something like that makes a person think about what’s really important in life. I remember spending hours staring at the injectable med unit on the wall, wondering if I was going to make it and I knew what I had to do. Between treatments I went out to the printer shed and built a housing for the unit and added a film screen so I could use it like a digital picture frame. I added a multicolored LED border with 12 preset light patterns that would accentuate any image or match whatever mood I was in. I spent the rest of my recovery sitting in my favorite chair, in my favorite place, looking at my favorite memories highlighted with various color patterns. I don’t think that I could have gotten better care at the hospital. I know they wouldn’t have let me bring my light-frame. I owe my life to the program and would recommend it to anyone.”

STORYLINE

Trapped Children Credit Quick thinking and Doughnuts for Survival

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The saga of 4 Lahaina children trapped inside a barrier wall came to an end today, when rescuers were able to safely remove them from the cavity that they had been huddled in for almost a week. Officials say that the construction drones that were building the wall failed to recognize that the children were inside the foundation trench when they began to pour concrete. Miraculously, none of the children were seriously injured, and all are expected to make a full recovery. The kids credit their survival with the quick thinking of one and freshly made doughnuts every night for keeping their spirits up.

June 10th was like any other typical summer day in Lahaina. In every neighborhood kids were outside playing ball or trying to beat the heat by walking down to the beach or jumping through a sprinkler. Tanager Lane was no different. 4 long-time friends, 10-year-old Brandon Stonegate, 11-year-old Landon Morrow, 10-year-old Greg Pio, and 9-year-old Tammy Laiwi, were playing in Brandon’s backyard, when the ball they were kicking around found it’s way into the trench dug for the barrier wall. The kids knew that construction on the controversial wall was supposed to continue that day, but assumed it would be safe for them to quickly retrieve the ball. They were wrong.

The wall around Tanager Lane had been a hot button topic for months. Opponents argued that it sent the wrong message to tourists and would become an eyesore. However, Preservation Zone Compliance Liaison to the Mayor’s Office Elizabeth Stonegate had been pushing the project, claiming that it was needed to help protect both the neighborhood and the surrounding protected areas. Stonegate said that the wall would “enshrine” the neighborhood and highlight Tanager Lane as an example of an area that had “reached 100% compliance with all preservation zone regulations”.
Stonegate’s plan included using the neighborhood’s maintenance drones to construct the wall in order to save money and keep heavy construction equipment from driving through the area. Many had concerns about turning over such a large project to the automated building-bots including their creator, Ano Lee. “I told Elizabeth that they still had some trouble recognizing objects that should be avoided and people when engaged in large projects, but she wanted to push ahead with the wall anyway,” he says. It now appears that Lee’s concerns were right.

Tammy and Greg were the first to jump in the trench to navigate the maze of rebar to get their ball. According to the friends, the drones showed up almost immediately, and they knew that they were in trouble. “They started to install big panels of wood. I had watched my uncle pour concrete before and knew that they were molds. They didn’t stop when they got by Tammy so Landon and I jumped in to pull them out, but the drones were working so fast that it was too late,” said Brandon. According to the children it was Brandon’s quick thinking and another drone malfunction that saved their lives.
One of the wooden panels was installed at an angle and broken. This left just enough space between the mold and the earthen wall for the children to take shelter as the concrete began to fill the trench. Brandon sealed the space as well as he could with a piece of the broken mold. It would be almost a week before any of them would be reunited with their families.

At first, nobody knew where the children were. Officials had been searching the surrounding forests for over a day before someone finally heard the children’s shouts for help. Worried about the structural integrity of the wall, first responders called in engineers to assess the situation. The tiny air hole the children had relied on was widened and people from around the island gathered to provide what help they could, including Hula Noodle owner Ralph Umeke with his “Mobile Malasada” truck. Along with some bottles of Manimal, some of “Uncle” Ralph’s malasadas were the first food to be lowered down to the children and they credit the deep fried treats with keeping their spirits up. The children remained trapped for another 3 days before engineers could safely pull them free this morning.

Brandon’s mother Elizabeth says she’s thrilled and relieved that the children are safe and healthy and says she and her family just wants to move forward and “let things get back to normal.” She adds, “Having something happen like this makes you think about what’s really important. You are only given one chance and one body to get through life, so it’s important to treat yourself with respect. When I see what these kids eat every day…well it’s no wonder they couldn’t climb out of that trench in time and my son had to risk his life to save them. Hopefully, these families will start taking nutrition a little more seriously. They won’t always have a Stonegate around to help them.”

For his part, Brandon says that he has no regrets about risking his life to protect his friends and says they have never been closer. He says he learned a lot through the ordeal, and his love of Portuguese confections is at the top of the list.

“We’re not allowed to eat that kind of stuff at home. I had no idea that something could be so delicious. Towards the end we were all getting pretty scared and worried that they wouldn’t be able to get us out before something bad happened. Just making it to the evening when the malasada truck got there helped us all. No matter how bad it got down there we knew we’d get warm doughnuts in the evening. I had to get trapped for 5 days in a cramped, hot, dirty hole with my friends to discover those malasadas. I think it was worth it.”

STORYLINE

Company Offers Chance for Lost Loved Ones to Live On Digitally

The death of a loved one may be one of the hardest events that anyone has to go through. The loss can be devastating, and it’s common to wish that you had just a few more days. According to Living Memory, a hi-tech memorial company, you can have more than just another day or two with the recently departed, you can have another lifetime. The company says a new partnership with Phxicom has led to a breakthrough in lasting-interactive-memorials that may just change the way we mourn.

Founded by local inventor Ano Lee, Living Memory got its start as an advanced tombstone company, and still offers specially made grave markers for clients. “Our most modest packages are technologically advanced and a great option for those struggling financially,” says Lee. The weatherproof, vandal-proof, self-cleaning tombstones may look normal, but when you approach one it displays pictures, video, and personal information about the deceased person, thanks to a sprayable display film. In addition, clients can choose specialized themes, and music to play at certain times of the day. “It’s the same technology Veilad uses for many of their special campaigns. If you want an image of your favorite superhero to pop-up, flashing lights, or your favorite song ringing through the graveyard at a special time every day, we can accommodate you,” adds Lee.

In addition, the company offers digital memorial services for those with families who live far away, or who want easy access to a daily reminder of their loved ones. According to the company’s website, “Technology has fostered family mobility and increased the separation of families worldwide. However, miles don’t change the desire to keep memories of loved ones alive for future generations, that’s where our Remembrance Packages come in. Similar to your favorite social media page, our Living Memory archive contains information and messages about your loved one: family history, photos, favorite movies, lists of lovers, highest rated social media comments, and even printable QR codes to share….”

None of these services are unique in a world where digital headstones and online memorials are becoming the norm. It is the company’s latest integration of Phxicom AI technology that is setting Living Memory apart, and raising eyebrows with a six-figure starting price.

“Our Enduring Memory package is the most advanced memorial system ever devised,” says Mr. Lee. The company uses Phxicom technology to study the “social Imprint” of the deceased, and in-depth interviews about their personality to create what it calls a “social simulacrum”. These simulacrums will take over the digital and online lives of loved ones, including posting as them on all their social media outlets. In addition, the company will digitally insert the departed into pictures of social events with friends, like parties, graduations, and weddings. “I know that Phxicom had a rough rollout when they introduced their AI technology, but all the problems have been worked out. Believe me, it’s amazing at how good it is at assuming someone’s personality.”

According to some, the simulacrum’s personality can be a little too authentic. A family member of a recent customer shared her experience with the service.

“I had a great relationship with my grandmother most of my life, even though she was one of the most stubborn people I had ever met. I always felt welcome in her home and would stop by often, until I started dating Robert. Grandma hated him before he even said a word to her, because he came from a “bad” family. She refused to attend the wedding three years later, and even though she wasn’t shy about leaving rude comments on their pictures, she never met her own grandchildren. I always hoped that she and I would reconcile one day, but that day never came. I was saddened to hear about her stroke, and embarrassed to admit that I felt a bit of relief that her negativity would finally end. I had no idea that she had purchased an Enduring Memory package until I checked my social media the next day. There she was at her own funeral, commenting on how wrinkled my kid’s clothes looked and how disappointed she was at the turn out. I thought it was some kind of sick joke until I talked to other family members. She posts more now than she ever did, and is just as rude. I’ve tried blocking the social simulacrum many times, but it makes fake profiles in an attempt to comment on your stuff if it detects blocking. It feels like she never died, and now she’s a death troll that’ll never leave me or my family alone!”

Lee says that the company occasionally hears such complaints but they are focused on providing an authentic representation of loved ones. “For thousands of years the best tool we had for lasting memories were words. The problem with words is that they are up for interpretation, and change through the years. We’ve come a long way since cuneiform. Our Social Simulacrums match the personalities of those they study as closely as possible. Everyone is sainted in death, even when the wouldn’t want it like the customer in question. Our job isn’t to hide the truth, or create a person that never existed. This woman was pretty awful to those close to her in life, and it was her wish to remain awful in death. I think we’ve done an excellent job at matching her exact level of abrasiveness in this case, which is no easy task. It’s our goal to honor the memory of these people with the enduring, and sometimes horrible authenticity they deserve.”

STORYLINE

Noodle shop teaches kids that recycling can be fun

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Over the past 18 years Hula Noodle has grown from a favorite eatery for the locals to a Lahaina tourist destination. Run by Ralph Umeke, (Uncle Ralph to Lahaina residents), the shop is well known as being one of the best places around to grab a delicious bowl of food and catch up on the local news. Now thanks to a donation from Reality Machine, the Maui landmark is becoming a place where kids can learn the importance of recycling, and have fun doing it.

Umeke never dreamed that his small noodle shop would become a place where kids and tourists alike could learn about the science of recycling, but then again he never thought he’d be famous. When he built the restaurant he had one thing in mind, “making a place where you could grab a warm bowl of food before work, or after a long day surfing, without a lot of fuss or people bothering you.” Everything changed when a brilliant young scientists named Eric Oeming moved to Lahaina and walked through Hula Noodles’ front door.

Despite being known for his gruff exterior and his wariness of tourists, Umeke declared Oeming a “local who just happened to be born somewhere else.” The pair became, and still are, very close friends. Soon Uncle Ralph’s quite local noodle shop turned into a favorite for hundreds of Veilcorp employees and a stop for any company VIPs. Hula Noodle became a hotspot for tourists trying to get a glimpse of the rich and famous, or Oeming himself. The rest, as they say, is history.

The recycling program began like so many things do at Hula Noodle, with Uncle Ralph’s vocal consternation. The issue that was troubling him this time was the amount of wasted food he was throwing away on a daily basis, and he let everyone know it. Bill Stewart, lead designer at Reality Machine, happened to be in the shop at the time and went back to talk to his team. “It was a no brainer,” Bill says. “We all love Hula Noodle and agreed that donating a RMIII to the shop would be a great idea. Having a place where thousands could see one of our machines working up close would be great for business, and we could show Ralph how to break down whatever customers left behind, instead of just throwing it away. I’d be lying if I said that we didn’t also have a laugh about what he’d throw in the recycling drawer when he got upset. We joked that we’d probably have to go down there one day to clear out a rude tourist who was jammed in the machine.”

A week later a working RMIII was up and running inside the shop. “I let my nephew dump the first half-eaten bowl of pho in the machine. He told some of his friends, and by the weekend I had a dozen kids asking if they could help me clean up,” Umeke says. A month later, what started as a novel way for Ralph to get rid of unwanted food and a fun exercise for a few local kids, has expanded into an educational program teaching the importance of recycling.

Umeke and another local business owner, Ano Lee, have partnered to create a unique recycling program many want to expand to other areas. Kids can use Umeke’s machine to recycle trash they’ve found along the beach and in the preservation zone and can deposit the raw materials in a special “Builder Bank” at Lee’s maker commune. “We have a big list of recipes for various things we thought the kids would like,” says Lee. Ranging from backpacks, to various toys and sporting equipment, or even fluorescent shoes, once a child has all the ingredients they need, Lee will demonstrate how it’s made and hand it over as a reward.

“I donate the CHON we get from all the excess food to local farms to use as feed of fertilizer,” says Umeke. “I have to admit that I have almost as much fun as the kids watching something get broken down into it’s core components. The kid’s love it and I’m proud of what Ano and I have come up with. I understand that we’re not going to change the world, but we’re definitely making our little part of it better. I think that’s all you can hope for. With all the tragedy​ in Lahaina over the past few years and Stonegate’s trainwreck she called the visitor restriction program, we could all use a story that we could feel good about. That’s what this is. A chance for all of us to come together and feel some pride in this jewel we call Lahaina and keep it sparkling.”

However, not everyone is sold. Preservation Zone Compliance Officer Elizabeth Stonegate has been a vocal critic of the program. “I rarely have the pleasure of eating at Hula Noodle myself, as I prefer a more spacious dining area and try to avoid people attempting to fight off a weekday hangover with a bowl of noodles. Nonetheless, I am concerned about any establishment that serves food a few feet away from a glorified garbage machine. I’m not sure I understand how the authorities have allowed this to go on for so long. Throngs of kids are breaking the rules daily by going off clearly marked trails to grab bits of trash and plastic bottles. Instead of punishing them and teaching them how vital it is that we all follow the rules, we are rewarding them with cheap plastic toys. I would be mortified if my children were out in public carrying around bags of other people’s garbage. As a society we pay people who have no other options to do that kind of work. We shouldn’t be encouraging our kids to do it.”

STORYLINE

Lahaina Sanctuary Lets Over 700 Cats Live A Pampered Life

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Offering: clean water, good food, 6 miles of cat “highways”, automated toys, a drone cleaning system, and limitless petting, the Lahaina Cat Sanctuary has been called a feline paradise. Founded in March 2028 by owner and Executive Director Felix Popoki, and dubbed “Whisker Island” by its fans, the sanctuary is currently home to over 700 cats of all shapes, breeds, and sizes. One of the largest nonprofit sanctuaries in the world, Whisker Island has saved thousands of cats over the years through its adoption programs, and provides unadoptable animals a place to live out their remaining years. However, running such a large rescue takes a lot of time, hard work, and sacrifice. “My job is literally herding cats,” says Popoki. “It gets so busy around here that sometimes I wish I had nine lives to devote to the operation, but I’m proud of what we’ve done. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

15-years-ago Felix saw a need to do something about the growing feral cat population in Western Maui. A danger to much of the island’s wildlife, in particular many endangered native bird species, most solutions involved trapping and euthanizing the wild cats. “That was just unacceptable to me,” says Felix. So he took out a loan, bought the plots of land on either side of his home, and began construction of what was to become Whisker Island.

“Things were much different then,” Felix says. “I did most everything myself. I relied on volunteers for construction and veterinary services. I spent most of my money on cat food and litter. I’d be lying if I said there weren’t nights that I doubted myself while repairing a scratching post for the 5th time, but slowly word spread about what I was trying to do. Donations started rolling in, and when Veilcorp got behind the project – well, it was the cat’s meow. I thought all of our problems were solved. We were riding high, and then Maui expanded the preservation zone, and I was worried we’d have to shutdown.”

Many Lahaina businesses and families found themselves living within the boundaries of protected lands after, the expansion of the West Maui Forest reserve in 2031. For most, the stricter regulations didn’t change their day to day lives much, but for the owner of a large cat sanctuary, it meant hundreds of hours of structural improvements, and tens of thousands of dollars in legal costs. “We had to install animal friendly netting to keep all the birds out, and the fur in. We had to store the cat food and medicines in securely sealed containers. We had to ship the used litter off-island to be incinerated, and we had to install environmental cleansers to ensure that any disease or parasite didn’t make it off the property. If it wasn’t for Veilcorp’s donation, and all the volunteers who came to help, we wouldn’t have made it.”

Despite meeting all the new requirements, Popoki says he still has a contentious relationship with preservation zone officials. Elizabeth Stonegate, Compliance Liaison to the Mayor’s Office, in particular remains an ardent opponent of the sanctuary. “Dander Island as I like to call it, is only open because of Veilcorp money,” she says. “They have been cited on numerous occasions for improperly stored food. Anytime there’s a strong wind the adjacent land is covered in rogue feathers, and bits of yarn. I know that they have some sort of hi-tech litter system, but let’s just say you don’t want stand downwind of 700 cats, no matter how expertly their litter boxes are changed. However, for me, the worst part is the volunteers. They’re just what you think of when you think of animal hoarders. Old, disheveled, covered in hair, and I hate to say it, but weird. If I see one of them in a store downtown, I leave. I don’t have time to wait behind them at the checkout while they mumble, shed hair, pick through their loose change and coupons. I’m not the only one who feels that way.”

Despite the criticisms, the ten acre refuge has become a popular tourist attraction on the island. Last year, over 20,000 visitors walked amongst the animals, and the sanctuary hosted 18 weddings for cat lovers who wanted share their special occasion with hundreds of feline witnesses. Not all visitors come to play with the cats however. Just as many come to marvel at the technology. “Ano Lee was one of our first and biggest supporters,” says Felix. A fixture in Lahaina, the well known inventor has transformed Whisker Island into the most advanced animal sanctuary around.

“Every litter box sits on a scale that determines when it needs to be emptied,” says Lee. “I’ve repurposed my maintenance drone design to handle emptying and filling the litter, and distributing food evenly throughout the facility. I’ve reinforced the 6 miles of cat walkways connecting the various buildings, and attached tracking that an automated toy pod travels along all day. Every 3 minutes a toy is deployed somewhere along the line for the cat’s amusement, and we also have a number of laser emitters that randomly shine a laser, following a preset pattern, to help stimulate the residents. We have automated cameras that can identify any fights, or potentially sick animals within seconds. If I wasn’t so busy, I’d move into Whisker Island myself. The place is a paradise.”

While he’s proud of his 15 years, Felix admits that there is sometimes trouble in cat paradise. “Feral Heights has never been one of the better neighborhoods in Whisker Island, and we warn visitors to not loiter too long when passing through. Nonetheless, this year scratching incidents have gone up over 60%.” Despite the occasional setbacks, and the never ending list of tasks to complete, Popoki says he loves his work and hopes to eventually house 2,000 cats in the sanctuary. “I feel like I’m sitting in the catbird seat every day, and I want to do all that I can for my tenants. I just wish I wasn’t so allergic to my angels.”

STORYLINE

Automated Maintenance Drones Keep Neighborhood In Good Repair

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Home repairs and maintenance just got a whole lot easier in one Lahaina neighborhood with the unveiling of a group of automated maintenance drones. Created and conceived by local inventor Ano Lee, the drones can take care of most external home repairs as well as handle basic construction. Under the watchful eye of Tanager Lane Homeowners’ Association President and Preservation Zone Compliance Liaison to the Mayor’s Office Elizabeth Stonegate, the drones will work as part of a Maui funded pilot program for the next 90 days. If successful, they could be deployed to handle maintenance of government buildings all over the island.

Unlike most of his creations, Lee says that the inspiration for the automated drone system came from necessity. He was facing multiple fines for preservation zone infractions and was offered a chance to do community service in lieu of paying the accumulated fines.

“The pineapple bots I designed a couple years back have been a great success and have really changed the business of pineapple farming, however the strobe lights are a problem. It turns out that they are illegal to use within 100 yards of the preservation zone because they attract insects and endanger the native hoary bat. The fine was up to $500 per incident, and they had been documenting the lights for over a year. The final tally was insane, but Elizabeth said that she might be able to work out a deal. I had been toying with the idea of repurposing the drones for other tasks, and we worked out this maintenance agreement. I just wish they had informed me of the infractions earlier so I wouldn’t have to spend the next year building maintenance drones for the County.”

“Maintenance is one of the hardest parts of being a responsible home owner,” says Stonegate. “In my experience, it’s one that many people aren’t ready to take on. In my reign as Tanager Lane President, I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve had to point out chipped paint, crooked fencing, or a loose shingle. Unfortunately, most people don’t have the initiative to keep their things nice or are just too neglectful to do proper maintenance. Making sure residents live up to basic standards and prodding the lazy, so we can all enjoy a beautiful neighborhood, has taken up countless hours over the past 12 years. Finally, I’ll have a little help and I couldn’t be more excited. I just hope that the drones can keep up with me, and adhere to my standards better than some of our residents.”

3 drones started patrolling Tanager Lane this week. They do preventative maintenance according to a pre-programmed schedule, fix any problems they come across, and help enforce preservation zone rules. The drones keep track of a materials inventory necessary to complete most repairs and are capable of ordering supplies when they run low or need to take on a special task. Lee says that he hopes to include 3D printing technology in future models.

Technology and convenience does not come cheap however. Those living inside Tanager Lane will see a substantial increase in their HOA dues this year. However, Stonegate says, “When you consider how many fines the average Tanager Lane resident pays for infractions every year and the cost of multiple repairs, the price is actually a bargain.”

The drone roll-out has been well received for the most part. Many residents welcome the system and see the automated repair drones as a convenience, but there have been a few incidents that have raised concerns.

Shelby Pio says the drones ruined her son’s 10th birthday party.

“Eric missed out on a good portion of his summer vacation with a broken leg. He’s a very active boy and it was really hard for him to stay cooped up while watching his friends play. We decided to get him a bounce house for his birthday so he could jump around all day with his friends and maybe work out some of his frustration from the past month. The kids loved it and everyone was having a good time when I went inside to make some lemonade. A minute later I heard shouting and ran out to see what the trouble was. It was the drones. They were trying to drag the bounce house away and had pierced it in the process. I had a dozen crying kids in my front yard watching their afternoon of fun fly away. I called Elizabeth and she said that structures, even non-permanent ones, weren’t allowed without a permit. I felt more deflated than the bounce house.”

Stonegate says none of the children were hurt in the bounce house incident and adds that residents better get used to having the drones enforce the rules. In fact, she says she would like to expand their duties to yard care and driveway repair as well. Ano Lee says that early tests with lawn care have not been particularly successful. “In the few tests I’ve done so far the drones haven’t been able avoid large objects. The last thing I want is for a kid to get hurt while a drone is mowing the yard.” Stonegate counters, “I’m sure most children are smart enough to move when the flying lawnmowers show up, but I understand Mr. Lee’s concern. I look forward to seeing what progress he makes in the hot asphalt and concrete department in the upcoming weeks.”