Chop House Adds Skin-Eating Prawns To Menu

There may not be a better place to get a steak on the entire planet. Bob Abramo’s Chop House has won numerous awards and the all-you-can-eat Long Pig Buffet is a pork lovers dream. However, the most recent item on the menu has some crawling in their skin. Since the beginning of the month, the restaurant has been selling The Kokua Wellness Center’s exfoliating shrimp to customers brave enough to eat them. Abramo says the shrimp are delicious and “perfect for those with an adventurous appetite.” Health officials have called the prawns “technically safe to eat.”

Bob Abramo is no stranger to unusual promotions or serving up a spectacle. His Meat Museum has been the talk of Lahaina since it’s opening a few months ago, but many say the prawn special is a plate too far. While Tahitian prawns are a common Spring-time treat for many Hawaiians the thought of eating ones that have fed on human skin and hair can be stomach-turning. According to those brave or foolish enough to order them, their unusual diet is a selling point.

Randy Wilcox is a self-professed adrenaline junky whose taste for thrills extends to what’s on his plate. He says that the prawns sit at the top when it comes to extreme foods.

“I’ve tasted it all and lived to tell about it. I’ve eaten so much fugu that my hands went numb. I’ve downed plate after plate of Sannakji and managed to keep the tentacles from suctioning themselves to my throat. I even ate half a wheel of Casu Marzu on a dare and didn’t get sick but these skin prawns are the bomb! Sure, all those other foods are exotic but the prawns have one big thing going for them that the others don’t. They are absolutely delicious! I’m not sure what it is about a diet of skin and hair that makes these things so sweet and juicy but Bob knows what he’s doing. I’m not worried about them making me sick, but I do wonder how they’d taste if you added some fingernails in the mix.”

Even though Mr. Wilcox clearly has no apprehension about the safety of consuming skin eating prawns, many have voiced concerns. Medical Director of the Lahaina Medical Center, Dr. Dahlia Forsythe says she understands the public’s unease but doesn’t think eating the prawns is dangerous to your health. “It’s just really gross,” she says.

“There are some really good biological reasons why cannibalism is taboo in virtually every culture and society. Eating other people can make you really sick. Kuru, a form of transmissible spongiform encephalopathy (TSE) caused by eating the brain of another human, is a disease similar to mad cow that can cause tremors, loss of coordination, and eventually death. There are a number of other prion diseases that can be transmitted through cannibalism as well as blood diseases like hepatitis, Ebola, and HIV. The good news is that it is highly unlikely that any of these conditions could be passed on through these prawns. Unless the spa is feeding whole bodies to these little guys, I don’t think there’s anything to worry about physically. However, I’d say that anyone who willingly wants to eat a shrimp that has been feeding on human skin and hair might benefit from some time with a good therapist. Seriously, there are better things to eat out there.”

For his part, Bob Abramo stands by his decision to serve Kokua prawns saying the taste and empty plates speak for themselves. Bob says he understands the attention but says the outrage comes from vegetarians and those with limited palettes. “It’s not like we’re hosting Donner Party dinners here,” he says

“I usually think of shrimp as a garnish. I prefer to eat proteins that don’t disappear in one bite, but when I heard about these Kokua prawns it got my stomach and brain churning. Waygu beef comes from cows fed large amounts of beer every day and some of the best hams in the world come from pigs who eat nothing but acorns right before the slaughter. I always say that meat is the spice of life and I started thinking about what prawns fattened up on people would taste like. I’m happy to announce that the answer is delicious!

We’re offering the prawns in three amazing preparations. Our Shrimp Grampy dips our biggest prawns in a tasty tub of garlic, butter, and fresh parsley to help wash your hunger away. Shrimp and Fritz pairs these sweet river treats with a handmade german style sausage and spaetzle. Of course, my personal favorite is the tempura sampler featuring three different dipping sauces inspired by our head line cooks. Customers can enjoy these lightly battered food dreams with a spicy Tilly oil, a tangy Chuck sauce, or a refreshing Brent yogurt dip. Whatever preparation you choose, you’ve won the culinary jackpot. Take a bite and I think you’ll agree that sometimes it’s good to have some hair in your food.”

Bob Abramo Opens Meat Museum

How much do you know about the food you eat? If you’re like most people, probably not a whole lot. While interest in locally sourced food and organic farming processes has increased greatly over the years, the day-to-day realities of modern farming and the history of food production remains a subject that most don’t know a lot about. Bob Abramo wants to change all that with the opening of his Museum of Meat History.

Built alongside his famous Chop House, Abramo says that the history of meat has consumed him from an early age and he looks forward to helping people devour the subject. He hopes the exhibits, “stimulate and inform visitors palettes, provide a better understanding of how important the big 3 meats (beef, pork, lamb) are to civilization, or simply offer a welcome distraction while waiting for your table to open.”

Upon entering the museum, visitors are greeted with a sign which reads:

“Meat, the life giving flesh from tasty animals, has contributed to the welfare of man since the dawn of time. The muscle and sumptuous fatty tissues have supplied us with the protein we needed to build empires, and the energy necessary to construct the wonders of the world. Take a walk with us now down the road of meals past, back to the very first hunt and learn why we celebrate special occasions with a big juicy steak and not a salad.”

While the museum may not be to everyone’s taste, the exhibits are interesting and informative. A walk through the “aisles of history” offers visitors an understanding of the contrast between today’s meat supply and a time when most had to rely on the hunting of wild animals. Special attention is paid to failed expeditions by pioneers and explorers such as the famous Donner party, explaining how creative butchering and better rationing could have saved some of those doomed to starvation. The exhibit walks visitors through the history of early butchering techniques and the amazing advances in meat science including faster-growing animals, more efficient culling techniques, and what deliciously grilled treats the future may hold.

“Mr. Abramo wants to make visitors hungry for history,” says assistant cureator Brandi Essen. “We go back to the very beginning. There has been a link made between meat-eating and an increase in the size of our brains. There’s evidence that neanderthals may have been eaten by anatomically modern humans, solidifying our place on the food chain. Some of our earliest tools were made to handle butchering. They’ve found bones with cut marks over two-and-a-half million years old. Even the ability to make fire was driven by a need to cook meat. Wars were fought over salt because it was so important when it came to fish and pork preservation. We dig in deep when it comes to the historical relationship between mankind and meat.”

“I understand that not everyone has the same passion for proteins that I do, I can get really worked up about it sometimes. Forget the dogs, don’t get between Me and my bones.” jokes Abramo. “I made sure to include some fun with a few interactive displays to let our visitors get their hands bloody so-to-speak. We even have a section for your little ones.” The “calves area” called “Ox Tail Junction” allows kids who might not appreciate the more academic areas of the museum, a chance to roll up their sleeves and engage more directly with their meals. They can play a number of meat-oriented games, help load wood into one of the restaurant’s many smokers, learn knife safety and the art of frenching a rack of ribs with Chef Brandi, or join the “Chopping Block Club” and adopt a locally raised piglet for later consumption. “I’ve always found that a meal tastes better when you can put a name to what’s on your plate,” adds Abramo.

On the way out, visitors can see all they learned in action by watching the Chop House’s experienced butchering staff break down animals into their delicious components before being served. The knowledgeable staff can answer any meat-related question you have, as well as give the secret to Bob’s perfect burger blend, and explain why you should always use natural casings when making sausage. While it may not be everyone’s cup of tea, Essen hopes visitors will have a bloody good time.

Excitement and Controversy Over Upcoming Veil Stop Announcement Continues

Veilcorp and the County of Maui are set to announce the locations of the first Veil Stops at the end of the week, amid increasing excitement and swirling controversy. Many still consider the next generation public transportation system a wonder, while some worry about safety and improper government influence. A number of recent reports regarding the possible health effects, and corruption have lessened the near unanimous support for the project.

Promising to revolutionize the way we travel locally, the Veil Stop network was met with excitement across the island back in January. Veilcorp said they could convert existing bus stops with little effort and could have a working system up and running within months. Since then, multiple delays, warnings from environmental groups, and corruption investigations have slowed progress and diminished public support for the project.

Mayor Albert Cravalho says that despite the controversy, he believes that the network will be a major attraction for tourists and a huge benefit to residents. “Every project is met with some sort of pushback, but I am confident that the Veil Stop network will change the day-to-day lives of many for the better. In spite of a few activists using bad science and rumors to derail the project, many business owners and residents see the possibilities that the Veil Stops afford and are excited.”

Inventor and technology gadfly Ano Lee is one such business owner. He has been pushing to have an out of service bus stop near his maker commune reopened as part of the pilot program. Lee says that the expansion of the preservation zone ended all public transportation in his area, and the Veil Stop project would return the valuable service to his neighbors and his business.

“Preservation zone rules have kept viable public transportation options out of the area, but the Veil Stop network could change all that. I think the old bus stop down the road is the natural choice. People have to understand what a hot-spot my Chacki Hut has become. Sure, tourists come to Lahaina for the crystal clear water, lush forests, and scenic cliffs. However, the hut is now rated as one of the most popular tourists destinations on a variety of social media outlets. Our selection of peel-n-stick LED lights is second to none, and as far as I know, there is nothing like our custom bobblehead machines anywhere on the island. Since we’re a little off the beaten path, I think it’s only natural that the pilot program start out here.”

Preservation zone compliance liaison to the mayor’s office Elizabeth Stonegate disagrees. She believes that the network should focus on currently active bus stops, saying that an active stop in the area would upset delicate natural areas. She counters, “There’s a reason that the bus routes in the area were discontinued, and it wasn’t to upset Ano Lee and his collection of ungroomables. The stop that Lee is pushing so hard to reopen is less than a mile from my home in Tanager Lane. As HOA president it is my job to protect my neighborhood and home values. I can assure you that the residents of Tanager Lane are not public transportation people. I’m sorry that visitors to Lee’s plastic shed will have to buy their trinkets and trance music somewhere else. There isn’t anything here for the kind of people who would visit his neck beard collective, certainly not a home in their price range. I think it is obvious that these people would be much happier in other areas of Lahaina.”

Chop House owner Bob Abramo agrees with Stonegate, and says the obvious location is one of the stops downtown. Abramo is nearing completion of a multi million dollar “Museum of Meat History” alongside his restaurant, and says that the interest in the new expansion makes his location the obvious choice. However, many have accused Abramo of using his position on the city council to unduly sway the planning committee’s decision. Known for his outlandish statements and direct manner, many are saying his “appreciation program” is a step too far, even for the larger-than-life Lahaina fixture.

He says,

“I really don’t know what all the fuss is about. You hear about people celebrating police officers and first responders all the time. I’m not saying we shouldn’t give a little extra thanks to these brave men and women, they do an incredible job. I’m just trying to recognize other public servants who are too often overlooked. I wanted to recognize those that work late hours missing diners to make sure that the paperwork was done in triplicate. I wanted to give the hardworking people who only have time for instant noodles during the day something they could appreciate. When we started looking at all the groups who put in a little something extra in our local government, one stood out immediately. I’m proud of the “Veil Stop Planning Committee Appreciation Program.” I’m offering everyone on the committee free meals this week at the Chop House. Frankly, with so many vying for their attention I thought it only right that I offered them a spot at my table to relax and make the right decision.”

The committee says they are still looking at a number of areas, and will announce the first Veil Stop locations early this Friday.

New Abramo Chop House Menu Unveiled

Welcome to Robert Abramo’s Chop House on Aloha Shores.

We pride ourselves on being a meat eater’s dream. All of our beef is USDA Prime, and our pork is organic and locally sourced. Our meats are all hand carved from the whole animal to ensure quality and value. You may be wondering why there are no vegetarian, chicken, or seafood main courses on the menu. Simply put, we believe that “higher animals” taste the best and that vegetables are best used to feed our 4-legged entrees.

APPETIZERS

Baked Goat Cheese with Roasted Garlic – 11

Grilled Artichoke with Roasted Garlic Aïoli – 11

Teriyaki Short Rib Bites – 15

Fried Calimara – 15

Jumbo Lump Crab Cake – 17

Seared Rare Wild Yellowfin Tuna (Ahi) – 17

Wild Jumbo Shrimp Cocktail – 17

SOUPS & SALADS

New England Clam Chowder – 11

Crab Bisque – 11

French Onion with Gruyère – 12

Tableside Caesar for Two or More price per person – 12

Roasted Beets & Garrotxa Goat Cheese – 14

Crunchy Iceberg Wedge with bacon, tomato, & blue goat cheese – 14

PRIME STEAKS

Less than 3% of all beef in the U.S. is graded USDA Prime. Each of our hand-cut steaks is cooked in a broiler to sear the outside keeping the inside tender, juicy, and delicious. All of Robert Abramo’s steaks are cooked with seasoned butter and guaranteed to satisfy your primal hunger.

All served with choice of baked potato, garlic mashed potatoes, French fries, or pulled pork
Prime Top Sirloin 10 oz. – 33

Filet Mignon 8 oz. – 44

Filet Mignon 12 oz. – 52

Bone-In Filet Mignon 14 oz. – 59

Prime Ribeye 16 oz. – 49

Prime New York Strip Steak 14 oz. – 46

DRY AGED FOR 28-35 DAYS

Prime Kansas City Strip Steak 18 oz. – 57

Prime Split-Bone Ribeye 20 oz. – 59

Prime Tomahawk Ribeye Chop 42 oz. – 96

Prime Porterhouse 32 oz. – 98

We also offer “Big Bob’s Birthday Steaks” If you give us some warning, we’ll slaughter, carve the cut of your choice and age your meat specifically for your birthday!”

ADD TO YOUR STEAK
Brandi peppercorn sauce – 3

mushrooms and onions – 6

bacon and blue cheese – 11
Our Oscar offer! We would be happy to provide lump crab, asparagus, and hollandaise – 16

The Famous Long Pig Buffet

Our long pig buffet is 10 feet of the the best pork on the island. Deciding which of our 5 different mouth watering preparations is the best can be a most dangerous game. Choose from: 8oz chops, hand-pulled smoked pork, banana leaf roasted loin, red wine braised short rib, and hoisin-honey pork belly.

All you can eat – $50

Our menu is all organic and is specially designed to accommodate a wide variety of carnivorous tastes. We strive to use locally-raised organic meats as much as possible.

-Big Bob Abramo