STORYLINE

Lahaina residents bond over SSHAM and sandbags

Mother nature is not going easy on Maui residents this year. Barely a month into the hurricane season the island has already faced the fury of 3 storms, but none of them have reached the intensity of Neki. The storm has already produced winds of up to 115 mph and meteorologists say that it could get even bigger before it hits.

Mayor of the County of Maui Albert Cravalho has cancelled tonight’s firework display and has issued a statement urging the public to prepare for the worst. All across the island people are bracing themselves and their houses for what might be the most powerful storm to ever hit the island. The National Weather Service now says that Neki might surpass Iniki, the category 4 hurricane that hit Hawaii in 1992.

While the general mood on the island is serious, and many are concerned, the looming storm has also highlighted an extraordinary sense of love and community. Mr. Cravalho says he couldn’t be more proud. This Hawaiian spirit and sentiment is especially true for the Lahaina area.

The Veilcorp facility there has ceased all travel activity and opened the doors to the public to use as an emergency shelter. Dan Kukulu, head of operations says,

“Our doors are open to anyone who is worried about the storm. We have nice strong walls and reinforced windows. Teams are going over every square inch of the facility right now to ensure everyone’s safety. We’re stocked up with enough water and Manimal for a week. We even have some entertainment to take your mind off the wind outside thanks to the Pu’u high school jazz ensemble. Everyone is welcome to come in, have a seat, and tap your feet until this whole thing blows over.”

All along Front Street businesses are boarding up windows and trying to protect themselves from flooding. Hula Noodle, a popular area shop has even offered SSHAM Musubi to everyone who helps fill sandbags. Owner Ralph Umeke says he’s proud, but not surprised at the willingness of his neighbors to lend a hand. “That’s what makes this place special. We’re like a big family. Sure, maybe a few people get on your nerves from time to time but in the end we all pitch in when we need to. Besides, I’m giving out bowls of SSHAM pho to anyone who fills 10 sandbags and that stuff is onolicious.”

North of Front Street others are offering some high-tech alternatives to sandbags. The local maker commune has been busily printing modular surge barriers all day and offering them up to anyone in need. Ano Lee says,

“The machines are hot and we’re almost out of materials but we’ll keep printing until we can’t anymore. This is my home and I want to do everything I can to help. We’re using a pretty cool pattern that I worked on a few years ago. The panels are easy to put together and they’re sturdy. We’ve installed purple LEDs along the top, and blue along the sides so they should look super cool at night, especially highlighted with a little lightning. In addition, every other panel has a small speaker and some pre-loaded music. I have to admit, our hurricane playlist might be the best we’ve ever made.”

People have been queuing up for the barriers all day including Scott Stonegate. The local man says that he isn’t usually the kind to hang out at the commune but appreciates what Lee is doing. Stonegate says he’s using the experience as a life lesson for his kids. “Their mom is the president of our HOA so she’s busy right now making sure that all the plywood is properly fitted over windows, and that there isn’t any unnecessary markings on them. I think it’s important for our kids to see that even in an emergency, standards are important.”

Scott says that if it wasn’t for Lee, his neighborhood of Tanager Lane might not have any workable solution should the storm surge reach far inland.

“I’ve already cleared away anything from around the garage that might be of concern. However, if it wasn’t for these panels my classic Mustang Shelby GT350 might be in danger of getting flooded out. Ivy is the most beautiful custom green and I don’t know what I’d do if her electronics got ruined. I’m over here working with people that I normally avoid in the lightning and raging winds with my kids to teach them an important lesson. You need to do anything you can to ensure the safety of the things you hold most dear.”

The latest National Weather Service forecasts predict Neki to make landfall sometime early tomorrow morning. Until then, the residents of Lahaina will continue to share SSHAM, sandbags, and a sense of community.

STORYLINE

Unprecedented start to hurricane season has many worried

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2047 is turning out to be the worst hurricane season in recorded history, and that has many Maui residents concerned and looking for answers. Less than two months into the season and the island has already weathered 2 tropical storms and a full fledged hurricane. The extraordinary string of bad weather has many worried that Veilcorp activity is to blame, while other islanders have slightly more spiritual concerns about the storms.

Tropical storm Iopa hit the islands hard on May 7th this year, a full month before hurricane season officially begins, but that was just the beginning. Hurricane Kika followed soon after with tropical storm Lana cresting land a few weeks ago. While the storms caused relatively little damage to populated areas, the frequency of activity this year has many worried. Now, with tropical depression Maka looming and Neki following and gaining strength quickly, residents are looking for answers and some relief.

The last time a category 4 hurricane hit Hawaii was back in 1992. On September 11 hurricane Iniki passed directly over the island of Kauai. By the time it had passed, the storm had killed 6, destroyed 1,400 homes and caused more than $1 billion in damage. None of the storms this year have matched that intensity so far, but meteorologists say that Neki is following a similar path and is growing rapidly.

Many believe that an infamous Veilcorp program is to blame for the increase is storms. Since it started solar production of 127 (unbiseptium) in 2046, the Icarus project has been a lightning rod for Veilcorp opponents. Many claim that the change in weather patterns can be directly tied to the notorious project.

Critics say that worldwide exposure to 127 has increased drastically since the project began and that it is too soon for any study to make a definitive finding one way or the other about its safety. They point to a marked increase in major storms and changing weather patterns worldwide since Icarus began as proof that the issue needs more attention. Locally, many are concerned that the increase in 127 is having an impact on native flora and fauna. Calls for an investigation by the Department of Land and Natural Resources have gone unanswered so far, but activists remain vocal.

The corporation says that concerns are unfounded and that there is no proof that the project has any effect on the weather, sea, or animals. They point out that Veil technology has relied on 127 since its inception over 20-years-ago, and that there is no evidence of any long-lasting negative effects.

Still others on the island worry that Veilcorp activity has caused a cosmic crisis and that the unusual weather patterns are a symptom of a spiritual sickness. One such believer is Sebastian Malu. A Barraloha instructor at the Kokua Wellness Center in Lahaina and the founder of the Eternal Cycle Church, Malu says that Veilcorp should have consulted an astrologer before beginning the Icarus project.

He says,

“It’s insane to me that nobody at Veilcorp realized that harvesting energy from the center of our solar system in a year in which Mercury was occulated by the sun and Saturn was experiencing its summer solstice was a bad idea. Add to that the fact that there were 2 partial lunar eclipses in 2046, followed by 2 total eclipses this year and it’s a recipe for disaster. Just look at how bad the storms have been so far and we’re just getting started. The hurricane season lasts another 4 months. I know it’s popular to dismiss the wisdom of the ancients but they were given a blueprint for life and had a rich understanding of the great cycles that we have all but lost. The Melchizedek pattern and the Great Wesak cycle came together in April and May last year. It should have been a time of discernment and higher vibrations, instead Veilcorp ramped up their parasitic activity and muddied the cosmic water for all of us. I’ve been warning all my students and parishioners that our mother and the universe will have to make adjustments in order to return to balance. I believe the storms we’ve seen so far are part of that process. It’s not a coincidence that Neki is on its way just in time for the lunar eclipse on July 7th. It’s going to take a powerful storm to wash away the stain Veilcorp has left, and I’m afraid that’s exactly what’s coming.”

Whether it’s just an unusual natural cycle, a product of Veilcorp experiments, or a cosmic cry for help, the storm season this year is already one for the record books. Many residents are already preparing for the worst and hoping for the best. Officials are tracking the storms closely and say they could reach land in a matter of days.

STORYLINE

My Quest To Damage the Duracave Solar Home Generator

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Dear Duracave customer support

I’m not sure you can imagine the empty feeling in the pit of my stomach when I learned that my brother-in-law Jeff had borrowed my Duracave Solar Home Generator (SHG). I couldn’t believe that I let it sit in the box for weeks after I had ordered it. I blamed myself for leaving that day, but I wanted to see how bad Neki had hit Front street. I blamed my wife for handing over such an expensive piece of equipment to someone who has such a bad track record when it comes to taking care of things. When it was returned to me fully functional and without any visible damage two weeks later, I was stunned. I knew then that I was dealing with something special. I know toughness is something that you guys focus on but I never knew how tough your stuff was. I decided it was time to find out and record it for my YouTube channel.

First, let’s get all the performance stuff out of the way. The SHG’s potassium polymer batteries are almost as amazing as its ruggedness. The batteries offer astonishing cycleability and exceptional energy efficiency. The packaging materials say the unit pushes 98% efficiency but I haven’t really sat down and tried to figure out the numbers. All I can say is that according to Jeff, it only took a few hours of sunlight to charge the batteries enough to last all day. However, it was the “Tough as nails” and the “Lasts as long as the sun” claims that I found most intriguing.

You have to understand, Jeff is a walking disaster. He has been in an accident with every car he’s ever owned, and totaled most. My wife’s parents just stopped replacing windows in the house when she was little because he broke so many. I have no idea how many doors, counters, and floors he damaged as a kid. He once borrowed a shovel to help my mother-in-law transplant her roses and returned it bent. How do you bend a shovel transplanting flowers? My SHG spent 16 days with the embodiment of recklessness and yet didn’t even have a scratch, so I decided to spend some time figuring out just how tough it was.

I’m no engineer but I know that water and electronics get along as well as Jeff and the good china, so that was my first test. I filled the tub almost to the top, set up the tripod, and heaved the unit in. Imagine my surprise when I found that the satisfying crack I had heard was the tub and not my SHG. After a minute the weight of the generator opened the crack wide and I could hear water pouring into the basement. I stared as the water level quickly dropped below the dials and red indicator lights without a flicker. It had survived the tub.

I was surprised at how difficult it was to get the unit up on the roof by myself. If I have any complaint about your product it is the weight. Something about the size of a trashcan should weigh less that 80kgs. Anyway, after some rope and pulley finagling, I found myself overlooking the driveway with my trusty SHG by my side. I crouched behind the generator and took a deep breath. I pushed with everything I had. I pushed so hard that I almost went tumbling down with it. I caught a glimpse of the SHG tumbling end over end as I fell flat on my face and grabbed the camera before it fell too. I heard a crunching noise and smiled knowing that I had found the limits of Duracave toughness. As I stood, my smile disappeared. The crunching had been the driveway. A series of cracks had been formed where the corner of the unit had hit. It was lying on its back with its little red lights looking at me like nothing had happened. It had survived the fall from the roof.

I knew then that things were serious. I drug the SHG into the back yard and went inside the house to get my gun. I’m not a violent man by nature but this thing was starting to unnerve me. I positioned it in the corner of the yard against the stone wall to account for any errant shot and slowly pulled the trigger. There was a pinging noise but nothing else: no mark, no crack, no scratch, nothing. I aimed at one of the little red lights and squeezed. It didn’t crack. It didn’t stop. I began to crank off round after round, as fast as I could, hoping that dumb luck and volume would find a weak point in the SHG casing. I was so shocked that a full clip was unable to leave anything but the slightest smudge, that I barely noticed one of the bullets had ricocheted and was now lodged in my thigh. It had survived being shot, but I wasn’t sure I would.

The decision to drive myself to the hospital wasn’t one of my best, but I had lost a significant amount of blood at this point. Maybe that’s why I took the time to load the generator into the car with me. I just felt like we had shared something extraordinary and wanted to bring it along to explain what had happened to me. I soon grew more dizzy and started to have trouble focusing on the road. I guess I had sensed that I didn’t have long and decided to speed up in order to make it in time. I’m not really sure, the next 20 minutes are a confused jumble to me.

Evidently I passed out going 50 mph and hit a tree with the SHG sitting in the passenger seat next to me. I don’t remember the sudden stop, just being launched through the windshield. Everything slowed as I passed through the glass and flew into the cool air. I watched the generator flying though the air with me, it’s little lights flashing in defiance before I landed in the bushes. At least I think I did, like I said, everything was kind of a confusing blur. I remember asking about it as the paramedics pulled me from the foliage and strapped me to the board. I could see it lying facedown in the mud before they put me inside the ambulance. I asked, “Are the lights still on?” before blacking out.

When I was finally released from the hospital, the first thing I did was review the in-car footage. After seeing where the SHG punched a hole in the greenery, I went back to look, and found it just as I remembered, face down in the dirt. I took a deep breath and turned it over as gently as I could with my arm still in a cast. No lights, no sound. I felt like I’d been punched, and thought I might pass out for a second. Then I remembered the auto-off feature. Slowly I pressed the button with my swollen finger and I could hear a faint whirring inside. I wiped the dirt off the front panel and was greeted by those determined little red lights. The SHG had survived the car accident! I had tried to destroy your generator many times that day and it had always survived. I have great respect for that. Short of launching it into the sun or getting the Argonauts to leave it between the Clashing Rocks this thing will be there for you. It’s not tough as nails. It’s tougher.