STORYLINE

Reports of broken ads might be something more troubling

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Hi Lisa,
Thank’s for reaching out to me. I’m willing to help in any way that I can. Like many here, I had a tough time after the Luau attack. It seemed like there could be another bombing at any time, and all the investigators asking questions kept everyone nervous. I was on edge most days, just waiting for the other shoe to drop. You’ve done a remarkable job at piloting us through all the fear and chaos. We weren’t sure that the company would come out the other end of this intact. Not only have we made it through those troubled waters, we’ve never been stronger as an organization. I respect you and the work you’ve done, that’s why I agreed to report to you directly if Dr. Oeming did anything unusual.

To be honest, I was very uncomfortable with your request at first. This was Eric Oeming: the inventor of veil travel, one of the world’s richest men, CEO of the world’s largest company, brilliant scientist, survivor of a bombing attack. Reporting on his actions while working under a roof that he had built seemed wrong to me. With all the rumors swirling around after his return and the media lockdown, I worried that you might be dragging me into something above my paygrade. Everything seemed fine for a while, but then I found Dr. Oeming in my office one morning with a request.

He wanted to have all the data for 2 specific nights of transports. I told him that it would be no problem and I would make sure he had it by the afternoon. Then he said that he also wanted anything we had from customer’s ceremplants for those same nights. I started to explain that we’d need a court order to review that data, but before I could finish he became very agitated. He complained that he didn’t have time for paperwork, and that there was a time that “employees just did what they were told.” He must have seen the shock in my eyes because he calmed himself and said that any help I could provide would be appreciated.

I never worked with Dr. Oeming before but I had heard people say he was a different man after the attack. They said he hardly talked anymore and insisted on working alone. I didn’t think much of it to tell you the truth. I can’t imagine what losing my family would do to me. I don’t see how escaping a bomb attack couldn’t change who you are. He looked so earnest in my office, like some part of him really needed this information. So, I thought I’d look into it personally. I’m turning everything I found over to you because I don’t really understand what’s going on, but I think Dr. Oeming is involved somehow.

We get complaints about our veil ads all the time. Most are about some sort of technical issue: blurred images in the stream, ringing in the ears during the ads, that sort of thing. We take detailed reports from everyone who has an issue, but we get so many that they often get lost in the shuffle. I started looking at the two nights in question and didn’t see anything unusual at first. There was a slight uptick in complaints about ads but nothing that seemed notable until I started to read the customer narratives. This is going to sound strange, but a significant number of customers those nights report seeing things that aren’t ads in our inventory.

A number of travelers on the night of September 27th reported seeing an ad for an unknown war movie. A few complained that they didn’t recognize any of the actors and that they never saw a title. However, most of the complaints that night were about the graphic nature of the ad. In particular, a mother claimed that her children were traumatized by witnessing a soldier being hacked apart. I had assumed that another bad ad had slipped past our quality control team. Upon closer review, I discovered we didn’t have any movie ads in the rotation, let alone anything that graphic.

Then on the night of September 29th, there was a similar uptick in ad complaints. This time the issue wasn’t graphic violence but rather another question about messaging. The reports say that customers saw fields of plants as far as the eye could see. It was the description of the plants that caught my eye. Dozens say that they saw fields of short plants with reddish pods that looked like chicken wings. That reminded me of something. Do you remember last year when we lost that flat of Kükenroot seedlings? These reports seem to describe a field of Kükenroot. Then I noticed the dates.

Wasn’t Dr. Oeming’s daughter born on the 27th and his wife on the 29th? After some digging I found that we experienced numerous little power surges throughout those nights too. Nothing large enough to raise an alarm but big enough to show up in the daily reports. I went through employee records and discovered that according to his badge, Dr. Oeming never left the lab to go home those nights. I’m not really sure what all this means but thought it definitely met your criteria for “anything unusual”. I hope you don’t think I’ve been reading too many tabloids or running down a hole of conspiracy theories. There’ no doubt something odd is going on, and I’m hoping you can clear it up, whatever it is. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do.

STORYLINE

Sea Otter Pod Discovered In Oneloa Bay

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For months tourists and a handful of clam fishermen have reported sightings of mysterious animals around Oneloa Bay. Eyewitnesses described dog sized animals usually around dusk or dawn, playing in the surf and diving along reefs. These reports were officially chalked up to seal misidentification or overindulgence until a few days ago when the Department of Land and Natural Resources (DLNR) became involved. After a short investigation the mystery animals were identified, but their identity raises even more questions and has experts worried. It turns out that Maui now has its own pod of sea otters.

Rumors had been running rampant among believers on the island about what the animals may have been. Some said it was some sort of aquatic dog made in a Vereserum lab. Others worried that it was a pack of gigantic mongooses. There have been a number of concerns recently about the effect that Veilcorp’s Icarus project is having on weather patterns and living things near the Lahaina facility. The fact that there are sea otters living offshore seems almost as strange.

Normally found in the cool waters of the Northern Pacific, the wayward otters have experts scratching their heads. Greg Iona Senior Investigator for the DLNR says, “While people associate sea otters with colder waters, historically their range extended along the Baja Peninsula. The real question is how did they get so far out of their normal range?”

Iona says that it is possible that this small group of 7 otters simply followed, or got caught in, a changing current that led them all the way to the island. “It may sound strange but animals have been known to travel from island to island on floating debris all the time. Often these trips can cover very long distances. That’s our best guess as to what happened here. We have no evidence that someone brought the otters in and released them in the wild.”

However they arrived, the otters have many worried. For years Hawaii was the only coastal state without a bivalve fishery, but with the help of the University of Hawaii and The Center for Tropical and Subtropical Aquaculture (USDA-CTA), a burgeoning clam fishery has begun. Almost a million pounds of native clams were harvested last year thanks to aquafarming campaigns. Fishermen worry that the otters may devastate the clam stocks. They have their own ideas about who’s to blame for the otter incursion.

The fishermen say that Veilcorp’s massive urchin campaign is the problem and say that the reintroduction project should be put on hold before more otters show up. Alanai Kalipalani, a marine biologist and urchin researcher disagrees. She says that the urchins may keep the otters in the waters around Maui but it is highly unlikely that they brought them to the island. “We’re just too far away from their natural range for the urchins to be the element that brought them here. I agree with the DLNR’s assessment that they’re here because of a change in currents and food migration patterns. It’s happening more and more often actually. Back in 1985 a humpback whale they nicknamed Humphrey was spotted in San Francisco Bay. It was big news back then because it was one the first times we had proof that climate change was having an impact on the normal range of marine mammals. Now humpbacks are routinely spotted in New York’s East river and other river systems around the world chasing baitfish. This is the first time I’ve heard of wayward otters, but I think the same thing is happening here.”

Kalipalani says that the clam fishermen have a valid concern about the otters. “A sea otter eats about 30% of its weight in shellfish a day, and a big male can reach almost 100 pounds. That’s a lot of clams. However, they also really love eating urchins and we have plenty of those to go around. These animals couldn’t put a dent in Veilcorp’s restoration project. I don’t think people fully appreciate how many urchins the company puts in the water every month.”

For now the DLNR plans on letting the pod stay where they are and studying their behavior. They remind the public that even though they are far from home, the otters are still protected by the Endangered Species Act. Any harassment, capture, or killing of the otters is punishable by fines up to $50,000 and/or one year imprisonment. Iona says, “We encourage people to leave them alone. They appear to be content feasting on urchins and aren’t dangerous to people, pets, or sea birds. As long as you’re not a shellfish the otters aren’t interested. Besides the concerns about clam predation, the only issue I see going forward is what will happen when the geese hatch this winter. The NeNe can be very protective of their goslings and haven’t seen otters before, but the otters may have moved on by then. This pod seems to like to travel.”

STORYLINE

My Last Day at Waihona Station

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After all the years of doing this, I never really got used to the way it feels when you step out of the veil. I focus on not being nauseous in the few seconds before the automated lights turn on. I notice the mud on the floor right away. Someone on the team sent here to deliver the 127 power unit yesterday had dirty boots. Before I do anything, I get a stick vacuum and make a mental note to tell Sam that his crew needs to be more careful. This may be my last day, but over the past 19 years Waihona Station and I have built a special relationship. There’s no way I’ll be able to enjoy my retirement if I’m worrying about people tracking mud everywhere.

Once the floor is clean, I grab my tools and start working on installing the 127 unit. They say it can last 400 years. I hope that doesn’t mean the company plans on cutting the hours of my replacement, this place needs constant TLC to stay in optimum shape. It takes me most of the morning to finish the installation, and to be honest I’m glad that I don’t have to start it up. I had my concerns four years ago when the first canister of solar produced 127 arrived in Maui, and a lift operator spilled a whole container a while back, that almost took his and a co-workers life. I don’t think it’s giving everyone cancer or making them crazy like the TV lawyers say, I just want to avoid being engulfed in a radioactive fire on my last day.

I move on to dusting and changing the filters in the operations room, sinking into a familiar rhythm. Things have changed a lot since I was assigned to Waihona in 2031. Joe wasn’t even ten yet when I started, and now he’s in grad school. I was in the data room when the Gateway Travel Accord was signed, and now people from almost every nation are veiling across the globe every day. I was up here during the Veilcorp Luau attack. Actually, I was here almost 24 hours that day. They locked down everything including veil travel. That reminds me , I need to check the food storage and make sure the protein bars aren’t expired in the event that we have another travel halt. When Eric Oeming returned to work, I was replacing some wiring. A lot has happened, but this place stays the same. It even survived hurricane Neki. I have a lot of respect for that.

I knew going in, that saying goodbye to Frank was going to be the hardest part of today, so I decide to put it off and work through lunch. I enter the data room to replace a few fans. I know that there are dozens of these satellite backup stations, but I can’t help but feel a sense of wonder, and a little nervous when I’m in this section. The data and personalities of tens of thousands, maybe more, is stored here. I know they say it’s only a backup, but I can’t help but imagine accidentally spilling something, or disconnecting the wrong cable and wiping out half of Lahaina. I replace the fans without a hitch. There isn’t anything left to do now but walk the exterior, and see an old friend for the last time.

One of the worst things about being a remote tech is the isolation. Most of these backup stations are in very remote locations, and the only time you see anyone else is when something is seriously broken. It can get lonely, but I made a friend on my first day. Perched on a rock, and upset that I’m taking my lunch 3 hours late, Frank squawks his disappointment with me when I walk outside. They say Ravens are among the smartest animals on Earth, and by the way Frank has memorized my weekly schedule, I believe it.

I take out his bag of bread, and throw bits to him as I walk the building. I make a note that the southern vent is going to need replacing, while Frank protests that I stopped distributing his lunch for a moment. I don’t see anything else of note and make my way back to the raven’s rock. I swear Frank does a little dance of excitement when he sees the tin of sardines, one of his favorite treats. I don’t say much as I feed him, just goodbye, and thanks for all the years. I tell him I’ll leave a note about him for my replacement, but I can’t promise he likes birds as much as I do. Part of me hopes that he doesn’t. Big changes are coming for Frank and I, but I have a feeling we’ll be fine.

STORYLINE

Museum’s Ancestral Skills Workshop a Hit In Lahaina

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The Lahaina Museum’s Ancestral Workshops, which offer visitors a hands-on opportunity to learn the survival and crafting skills used by the first Hawaiians, has become one of the most popular events in town. The workshops come hot on the heels of last year’s wildly popular ancestor exhibit, which featured a number of artifacts including shark-toothed weapons called Leiomano. Tickets to the workshops are almost impossible to come by, and the waiting list now extends through the end of the year. Curators Balen and Maci Kiko say they are thrilled at the community’s response and plan on continuing the program next year.

“We want to teach people that when it comes to Hawaiian art and crafts, there’s a whole lot more than just leis,” says Balen. The museum has numerous stations where visitors can learn about the art and clothing of Hawaii. Experts will demonstrate how to make everything from lauhala bracelets, kukui nut art, coconut dishes, various ti leaf crafts, and even a class on making Kapa, the traditional barkcloth made by early Hawaiians from plant fibers.

Ike Hoomana Spokesperson for the Office of Hawaiian Culture (OHC) says he’s impressed with the workshops, especially the detailed history of featherwork. “Without a doubt the most important ancient Hawaiian craft was featherwork. As well as being beautiful and incredibly ornate, It held great social and spiritual significance. Rare feathers were used to create helmets, capes, and elaborate hair ornaments that only the nobility was allowed to wear.”

“It’s not just art on display at the workshops. We also focus on the hunting and fishing techniques of the Hawaiian people,” says Maci. “It is amazing how much these people could do with what they found around them.”

Patrons are taught a number of primitive traps used to catch birds and early agriculture methods. However, the sea provided the biggest bounty and Hawaiians developed numerous fishing techniques. Hooks shaped from human, bird, dog, or whale bones as well as, pearl, turtle shell, or wood are on display. There are demonstrations showing how early people made fishing line and nets from olona fibers and colored them with Koki`o dye to make them less visible in the water. The numerous methods used for trapping fish are also discussed, and some of the simpler methods such as fish baskets, are demonstrated to guests.

The Kiko’s say they are thrilled that so many share their appreciation for the beauty and inventiveness of the early Hawaiians. “We’re talking about incredibly brave people who arrived with little more than their boats, knowledge of the ocean, and ingenuity. I think we can all appreciate, and learn a little from these incredible people,” said Maci.

While most echo her sentiment, not everyone is thrilled about the hands-on nature of the workshops. In fact, local resident John Driscol says the skills taught are potentially dangerous. “The bay was exceptionally calm that day, so I decided to give up my spot on the beach, grab my air mattress, a few beverages, and float away the afternoon. I had no idea that my world was about to turn upside down because someone wanted to practice their ancient fishing skills,” he says.

“When I awoke, I couldn’t figure out where I was at first. I was still floating, but the ocean was at least 50 feet away, and I could barely see over the handmade wall of sharp rocks that surrounded me. After a few seconds, I realized that I was caught in a tidal fish trap. It’s designed as a sort of corral to trap fish at low tide. My mattress and I had drifted a few miles while I was asleep, and the wind had pushed me into the trap. I’m no expert on poisonous coral, but I’ve heard that in nature the more colorful something is the more toxic it is. Looking underneath me, everything was colored like neon lights. It was too shallow to swim without touching any of the coral, and I had lost my shoes. I had left a game running on my phone and it was dead, so calling for help was out of the question. Worse still, I had failed to properly close my floating cooler and all the beer was no longer cold. I knew it might be hours before the tide would come in, and free me from my mini-pool jail. I was already a little sunburned, and it was only going to get worse. Fearing that I might be on the verge of dehydration, I tried drinking one of the warm beers, but as soon as the lukewarm brew touched my tongue, I spit it out. I knew that before the day was done, I might be forced to drink a warm beer to save myself, but I wasn’t that desperate yet. Nonetheless, I put it back just in case. It was torture floating around in there. Normally, I could easily do nothing for hours, but knowing that I had no choice in this case was terrible. I never really liked survival movies before, but enduring those hopelessly uncomfortable three hours before the tide rose and freed my mattress, changed something inside me. The horror of that time, carefully paddling around the tidal trap, with suboptimal beer opened my eyes. I’m afraid I’ll never be able to enjoy doing nothing ever again.”

STORYLINE

Welcome to the Upper Management Team!

Dear Veilcorp employee,

Congratulations on making it to VL10 and welcome to the upper management team! We are excited to be able to harness your expertise to make Veilcorp an exciting and engaging workplace.

As you may have heard, there are a number of unique benefits offered to VL10’s not available to others inside the company. You should be receiving an information pack soon from Larry Block, HR’s special executive business partner (and a VL10 himself), detailing the specifics of your new package. He will guide you through all your options and accommodate you in any way he can. Please direct all inquiries directly to him.

Please note that you have already signed your non-disclosure agreement. It is important to remember not to share any details about these benefits with your subordinates. Any failure to keep this information to VL10’s and above will be met with consequences including curtailment of benefits to immediate termination, and might include civil and criminal complaints.

Without getting into details here are a few of the many wonderful new benefits afforded to you.

  • Free travel to any Veilcorp location across the world is of course available to you and your family. In addition, you will have access to staging specialists who will take furnishings and elements from your home to decorate whatever accommodations you have booked, giving you a feeling of home wherever you go.
  • On-Demand Newuskin treatments for you and your immediate family so you all can look and feel your best.
  • Access to one of the company submarines, use of the ski chalet, and access to veil-net for personal dataset syncing.
  • A 10% discount on veil corporation merchandise.
  • Subsidized tuition set aside for your children or any niece or nephew that you might want to help.
  • A VeilCorp provided loan instrument for the purchase of a home, if you need it, or are looking to upgrade.
  • A million-dollar donation budget that you can direct at your leisure (the urchin restoration project is a popular choice for some of this money)
  • A ceremplant upgrade for your family and loved ones, with complimentary satellite tracking, and an ambassador class security team available when you wish.
  • A 127 powered home generator that will provide you and your family with all the energy you will need for your lifetime.
  • Hailoha black diamond status providing you with free safe transportation within 5 minutes in over 200 cities worldwide.
  • Access to a veil-dug emergency shelter. You and your family will be safe and secure within our luxury facility. Larry will contact you to work out the specifics of the personal emergency veil we’ll need to install in your home.

All of these wonderful benefits and much more are now yours to enjoy. Your negotiated and updated financial package is available via VALARIE. Eric and I look forward to working more closely with you in our shared future.

Sincerely,
Lisa Hunt
COO
Veilcorp

STORYLINE

Chop House Creates Club Offering Weight-Based Pricing

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Bob Abramo has never been one to shy away from controversy, but a new promotion at his world-famous Chop House has many raising their eyebrows and loosening their belts. The recently unveiled Kahuna Club offers customers weight-based pricing on all their meals ranging from discounted drinks to complimentary appetizers and even free entrees for the restaurant’s largest patrons. Health advocates claim that the program glorifies an unhealthy lifestyle and eating habits, while Abramo says he’s just trying to reward good customers and celebrate the joys of living a big life.

You might notice that more than just the portion sizes are getting bigger at Lahaina’s iconic Abramo Chop House these days thanks to the restaurant’s new Kahuna Club. Customers who join are measured and weighed to obtain their BMI and determine if they’re eligible. Four tiers offer various levels of benefits. A BMI of 30, considered to be the baseline for obesity, is the minimum required to join the club and provides a discount on all drinks. The Big Kahuna’s, those with a BMI of 60+, enjoy the top spot in the club and can enjoy a free meal every day.

Despite criticisms, the restaurant says the program has been a big success with bookings going up over 30% since the club was announced. “We’re bursting at the seams,” says Abramo Holdings Manager Brandi Essen. She claims that the club was created to reward a group of people who are rarely given the recognition they deserve.

“The more you weigh, the less you’ll pay. The Kahuna Club is our way of rewarding some of our biggest and best customers. More than most, Bob understands what it means to live large and we’re just trying to celebrate those who understand that food is one of life’s greatest pleasures. The Chop House has always been a judgement, vegetarian, and booth free environment. We commissioned custom club chairs made from local koa wood and the same carbon fiber technology used in Kalani Custom Boards. These seats can handle our biggest customers as well as a tsunami but we decided that wasn’t enough. We want to acknowledge those big eaters who’ve helped us stay in business for so long and give them the credit and discounts they deserve. We’re putting the fun back into the words fat-free.”

Unsurprisingly many health and lifestyle advocates have condemned the club since the announcement and say that promoting unhealthy eating is reckless and ultimately damaging to those in the club. “It sends a terrible message and offers no vegetarian options on the discounted menu,” says Chef Craig Hoomaau, a certified nutritionist and transpersonal plating-arts instructor at the Kokua Wellness Center and Spa.

“Life is about balance and green vegetables, both of which are sorely lacking in these people’s lives. To celebrate the tainting of the spirit with buffets and piles of grilled meats is anathema to me. Instead of discounts, these people need phytonutrients and a thorough gastro-attunement to teach their cells to reject the evils of trans fats and embrace a complete tonal supplement regime. This celebration of excess needs to stop.”

“Instead of telling these people they need to change we should be celebrating their taste,” says Chop House owner Bob Abramo adding, “Trust me. These are the people you’d want to keep close in an emergency.”

“Almost as much as a piece of perfectly smoked pork, I appreciate excellence, and that’s what I see in the members of the Kahuna Club. These people are experts when it comes to finding and enjoying great meals. They say that mastery of an activity comes after 10,000 hours. I don’t know how many hours these Big Kahunas have spent eating but I can ensure you that they are enjoying at least 10,000 calories a day thanks in part to our club. Historically, these people used to be revered. This fascination with “healthy” eating has been a relatively new fad, and one I hope to chew up and spit out.

There are a lot of lightweights out there saying that joining the Kahuna Club is the same as fattening yourself up for slaughter. Not only is that incredibly offensive, but it’s just not medically true. We live in an amazing time where many of the diseases that once affected those living a food-forward lifestyle can be easily cured. Advanced stem cell therapy, tailored DNA technology, and cutting-edge tissue science allow us to live a completely meat-centric existence. These people aren’t misguided, they are at the bleeding edge of life. We want to help them get out there and devour everything the world has to offer.”

STORYLINE

Should Veilcorp be Required To Evacuate People During an Emergency?

Veilcorp sends millions of people on billions of trips every year, but should they be legally required to transport people to safe areas during an emergency? According to a growing number of people, including Rep. John Kildee, the answer is yes. Kildee has introduced a bill which would designate the Veil station in Lahaina as an emergency evacuation center, and require the company to send evacuees to a “safe destination” during an emergency. Veilcorp says the proposed law is an unnecessary government overreach.

Representative Kildee and his supporters say that House Bill 6239 is about protecting life, and ensuring that all available tools and options are open and ready in case of an emergency. Kildee points out that the InterIsland Preservation and Travel Act (IPTA), passed in 2046, already allows the government to regulate how many people are allowed to use veil technology to travel to Maui. “6239 is similar, but less intrusive to the company,” he says.

“Less than three years ago we were hit with the worst hurricane to ever make landfall in Hawaii. It was a miracle that more people weren’t hurt. Despite what some might have you believe, the world is not safe. While we are able to easily travel vast distances in the blink of an eye, it has not brought us together. Some regions have never been more dangerous, and the threat of a missile attack looms darker now than it ever has. Veilcorp has the technology to help all citizens get to safety during a natural disaster, attack, or civil event emergency. House Bill 6239 simply ensures that Veilcorp uses their technology to help those in great need. We want to ensure everyone’s safety, not just those who can afford it.”

Veilcorp COO Lisa Hunt says that the company already has protocols in place to handle emergencies and evacuations, and that the bill is more about political theater than public safety. “Rep. Kildee is once again beating his anti-Veilcorp drum to rally his base, but it is unnecessary,” she says.

“When hurricane Neki hit the island, hundreds of residents were safe in Veilcorp shelters. During the terrorist attack that claimed 10 lives, and injured many more, we transported people to safe locations, not knowing if more bombings were to come. We already do all the things mandated in this bill, but we do them efficiently without government interference. Look, many of us live in the Lahaina area. The people that this bill would cover are our friends and neighbors. We wouldn’t hesitate to help them in an emergency. We’ve been in the business of moving people from one place to another for over two decades. We’re pretty good at it, and getting the government into the mix will make things more dangerous, not less.”

Some agree with Hunts assertion, and believe a law forcing the company to transport people during an emergency is a bad idea. Many residents have expressed concerns over where they would be sent, with one local telling the Lahaina Advertiser, “I live in Lahaina because I fell in love with the people, sights and sounds. I don’t want the government forcing Veilcorp to send me somewhere with strange smelling food, and the daily news in a language I don’t understand. How am I supposed to find out what is happening to my home? What if I get sent somewhere with terrible coffee, and horrible wireless connectivity?”

Local author Kevin Morrow says the bill, as written, would be a mistake because it overlooks many logistical problems. He says, “I’ve actually been studying the Lahaina Veils Station since it was built and I can say with 100% certainty, that the line and queuing system inside would fail during an emergency situation.”

“Living in such close proximity, most of us have been in the veil station during a busy time like the holidays. The lines are like something out of a nightmare. Now imagine how bad they would be if people were scared for their lives. People push, pull, and fight in lines over bargains while shopping. Imagine the chaos involved with a line full of people who are trying to reach safety, and not just the last must-have toy of the year. Stanchions and retractable belts are no match for a crowd of anxious people.”

Morrow says he doesn’t believe that the government would be any better prepared to efficiently handle lines than Veilcorp, and says one only need visit their local DMV lobby for proof. However, he says he has a plan that could solve the problem.

“The main issue is that waiting in line is not natural. Lines are, for the most part, a product of The Industrial Revolution. Factory work changed people’s schedules forever. Instead of working sporadically throughout the day, people were now starting and leaving work at the same time, creating crowds. To deal with the chaos of this newfound social phenomena, we invented lines. In their lifetime, the average person spends five years waiting in line. The truth is the human psyche is not strong enough to endure that period of time participating in an unnatural social construct, especially with the prospect of impending doom lingering. That’s why I endorse such things as: Secure queuing chutes, letting evacuees pick waiting teams, assigning numbers in micro-waiting areas, and certified line soothers, who would assure you that your turn is coming soon. It’s all inside my 38-point “Better Queuing Plan” which I have shared with Rep. Kildee’s office and Veilcorp. Residents would have enough to worry about in the event of something like a missile attack. The last thing they’d need to deal with is the mental toll and physical dangers that a slow or mismanaged line would cause. Personally, I’d rather take my chances with a missile.”

STORYLINE

Plant-Based SSHAM Receives Mixed Reviews In Lahaina

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The processed meat world was turned on its ear this week when SSHAM introduced its first completely plant-based formula, SSHANT. Despite rumors that the bright green loaf was a St. Patrick’s Day stunt, it appears the algae-based flavor is here to stay. While some are calling it the worst vegan-friendly food on the market, SSHAM fans are hailing the new variety as a great meal-time option. The company claims that SSHANT is “…a big first step in food sustainability and tastier plant-based mealtime options.”

SSHAM is probably the last thing on the average person’s mind when they’re planning a meatless Monday menu, but SSHAM CEO Art Pua’a hopes to change expectations. With an estimated 12 million Hawaiians eating at least one vegan meal a week Pua’a is hoping to break into the growing plant-based food market. SSHANT is the company’s first vegan variety and has been an unexpected hit with Lahaina consumers.

“It’s all about sustainability and locally sourced ingredients,” says Pua’a. On the heels of its “regional flavors” product line that saw such varieties as Pineapple SSHAM and the goat-based SSHOAT, the company is betting that SSHANT will be the cornerstone to a whole new group of eco-friendly products.

He says, “Trying to balance feeding a larger population while ensuring minimal environmental impact is a growing concern for us. How our food is produced and what types of food we’re eating can have a significant effect on the planet. Our goal is to have a can of SSHAM in every pantry around the world, and the only way we can do that is with SSHANT. Our revolutionary drying and pressing process combined with locally grown algae from Ananas Farms has allowed us to create the best tasting most sustainable plant-based food the world has ever seen. The future of canned food is SSHANT and we’re more than happy to give everyone a taste of what’s to come.”

Chef Craig Hoomaau, however, disagrees with the SSHAM CEO. The transpersonal plating instructor at the Kokua Wellness Center says that SSHANT is the worst vegan food he has ever come across calling it a “disaster in a can.”

“This wolf in plant’s clothing is devoid of all the things that make a plant-based diet healthy. The pure solar energy that fills most vegan foods is eclipsed in SSHANT with sodium, fillers, and artificial flavors. It is full of sugar, highly processed, and quite frankly has the consistency of hard gelatin. Obesity, heart disease, and diabetes are a huge public health concern that can be combated with a healthy plant-based diet and regular tonal cleansing. Instead of promoting cellular harmony, SSHANT will throw your immune system into chaos. This is not the beginning of a food revolution. The only thing revolutionary about SSHANT is how few nutrients make it through the canning process. I can’t warn the public strongly enough to stay away from this misleading and misguided product.”

One look at the nutritional information on the can does show that SSHANT is incredibly high in fat, sodium, and sugar for a product many consider a “health food”, but SSHAM fans don’t seem to mind. In fact, some consider it a selling point. Streamer and Lahaina resident Randy Wilcox says he likes that SSHANT doesn’t try to change the things that make SSHAM great.

“People don’t eat SSHAM because of how healthy it is. They eat it because it tastes great. SSHANT tastes so much like regular SSHAM that I couldn’t believe it. Like many Hawaiians, I’ve thought about making more plant-based food choices but I didn’t want to be associated with the kind of people who are always talking about how awesome not eating meat is. I mean nobody wants to be the dude who brings the kale salad to the Luau.

I understand that eating more plants and fewer animals might be better for the environment, but who wants to live in a world like that. Sheep are great but I don’t want to become one. Until I found SSHANT I never knew that eating vegan could be cool. I don’t worry at all what my friends will say if I show up someplace with my teeth stained green.

I work better on a high nitrate and sodium diet. It may be a little too gelatinous for my liking but the taste more than makes up for the texture. There aren’t a bunch of added vitamins and minerals to screw up the flavor, just a natural blend of algae, preservatives, and flavored binders. It tastes like science and the sea, not a handful of leaves. SSHANT is vegan food for people who don’t want to be vegans.”

STORYLINE

Legal Notice For Anyone Who Traveled Using Veilcorp Technology

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Read This Notice Carefully. A Class Action Lawsuit May Affect Your Rights

If you or a loved one traveled using Veilcorp technology anytime after May 10th, 2038 you might qualify to join a proposed class action suit. Several veil travelers have reported a number of health issues including: severe mood swings, blackouts, anxiety, depression, nervous feeling, problems with memory and concentration, paranoia, hallucinations, a burning sensation, fatigue, dizziness, nausea, heart palpitation, aggressive or violent behavior, restless sleep, night terrors, dry mouth, hair loss, and a high susceptibility to infection. These changes in behavior have often lead to hospitalization or in some extreme cases, negative interactions with the law.

The solar production of 127 (Unbiseptium) since Veilcorp’s Icarus project began has increased worldwide exposure to medically significant levels of the element. These levels can be even higher in individuals who have previously used Veilcorp technology, causing permanent damage to the brain and/or significant personality changes leading to disastrous results. If you or a loved one was injured, hospitalized, or suffered loss due to a belief that you could exhibit a wide array of psychic powers, you may qualify to join this Veilcorp class action lawsuit investigation. Please contact the law offices of Suter, Stine, Burn,& Partners (SSB&P) for a FREE case evaluation.

Overview: Excessive 127 Exposure Reports and Class Action Lawsuits

Veilcorp was hit with numerous lawsuits since the beginning of the Icarus project. Numerous aggrieved parties claim that excessive exposure to 127 led to behavioral changes resulting in financial loss and the need for medical interventions. One such lawsuit was filed by a Hawaiian man whose exposure to 127 led him to hallucinate while at work and spill hazardous materials over himself and a co-worker in June 2043. The injuries the man suffered landed him in intensive care for more a week and left him believing he could see other dimensions and even into the future. A release of documents by the activist group Veilwatch last month purports to show proof that Veilcorp knew the dangers of excessive exposure to 127, and is being reviewed by government officials. A report filed in February 2050 by a Senior Investigator for the Department of Land and Natural Resources claims the increase in worldwide 127 exposure has led to violent behavioural changes in animals near Veilcorp facilities, especially native populations of geese. Stories like these are becoming more and more common. According to studies, these incidents have increased greatly since the Icarus project began in January 2046.

How Does the Increase in 127 Exposure Cause Health Issues?

People around the world have turned to veil travel as a mode of transportation because it offers a quick and convenient alternative to other modes of transportation. But the safety of this technology has been called into question with recent reports and scientific studies. The exact process by which the excessive 127 exposure reacts with the brain is not fully understood. Numerous studies have shown a large measurable increase in 127 radiation in the atmosphere, land, water, animals and people. This increase correlates with a marked increase in the symptoms previously mentioned. The increase shows a pronounced spike beginning in 2048 when Veilcorp heavily discounted the cost of veil travel. Recent studies suggest that a significant number of those suffering delusional effects have not reported problems believing they could perform a variety of amazing feats: hear thoughts, remote viewing, etc. If any of your loved ones are suffering from these delusions you can file on their behalf.

If the Science Isn’t Settled Should I Wait Until It Is?

Absolutely not! Cases like this are often settled without a formal trial. You won’t be able to collect compensation without being among the complainants. When someone asks you if you’d like to be part of a class action suit you say “Yes!”

If you or a loved one suffered from an emotional episode or experienced any of the conditions listed above and you traveled using Veilcorp technology, you may qualify to file a Veilcorp lawsuit. If you qualify, an attorney will contact you to discuss the details of your potential case at no charge to you. Please Note: If you want to participate in this investigation, it is imperative that you reply to the law firm if they call or email you. Failing to do so may result in you not getting signed up as a client, if you qualify, or getting you dropped from the suit.

STORYLINE

Veilcorp To Blame For Regional Chaos

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I write this not to those of you who know the damage Veilcorp and fossil fuels have done to the world. This is not for my brothers and sisters who have stood on the front line with me. I write this to the media. You’ve called us radicals. You’ve called us misguided fanatics. Nonetheless, the truth has now been laid bare. Thanks to yesterday’s release of documents from our friends at VeilWatch, you can see that our longstanding claims are true. The destabilizing effect of Veilcorp technology was known for years by countless intelligence agencies and the company itself. When you add this to an already misguided dependence on oil you have a recipe for disaster. That is what you have seen this week in Saudi Arabia, an unmitigated catastrophe.

Veilcorp and its government servants have turned their backs on the region and have let it fall into chaos. With a lack of ideas and an entire system based on the need for earth poisoning oil, it is no wonder that so many countries in the area have failed. They were designed to. They were used for their resources, and tossed aside like trash. Veilcorp realized that their technology was just as bad as oil but silenced anyone who pointed out their folly. They took away the petroleum crutches and replaced them with a cane of their own design, ensuring the people remained crippled.

The leaders of these misguided nations have sold out their people with the help of Oeming and his need to bend the laws of nature to his will. Instead of poisoning the land, sea, and air by powering massive industries, they’re doing it by converting seas of oil into cheap plastic novelties and disposable bags. It is no wonder that the people are rioting.

Despite what Veilcorp would have you believe, the people who are forced to live in these air choking regions are no different from you and I. They want the same things: peace, a future for their children, and safety. Veilcorp has made it impossible for these people to fulfill those basic wants and needs without travelling across the world and working for pennies an hour. These allegations are not ours. They are the findings of numerous government investigations that have been highlighted because of this week’s unrest. I appreciate those of you in the media who are brave enough to report it. I urge you to continue this heroic work, and force Veilcorp take responsibility for their actions. They have made a living trading one disaster for another.

They walked away from the farms they leveled in Iowa. They walked away from the people they tested their poisonous 127 on. We know this as a fact thanks again to our friends at VeilWatch. We need the media’s help to make sure that they can not walk away from the unrest and the wars they are now fueling in these delicate areas already at risk because of generations of bad leadership.

They claim that this veiling technology is the greatest discovery in the history of man but what have they done with it? They haven’t cured disease or fed the starving masses. They haven’t helped these people learn that fossil fuels have all but destroyed the planet. Instead, they’ve created a food delivery service and the world’s most expensive virtual notepad. They’ve created smaller corporations that put ads on cars and tattoo company logos on animals in the name of saving them. This is the height of human achievement? Is this the bold new tomorrow Oeming spoke of on the day he started his machines and shot a metal cube like a bullet through the fabric of reality?

Again and again Veilcorp has proven that they are willing to let people starve and live in misery if it helps their bottom line. Like all despots, Oeming is content to let civil unrest and anarchy continue in these countries as long as his stock goes up a point. The continued damage done to the environment has been long known, and our sick mother is now passing her suffering onto her children. You can’t call these truths the ramblings of a “fringe group of radicals” anymore. Your own governments have verified them.

Veilcorp had a chance, and a responsibility to help these regions see the error of their energy policies and stop killing the planet. They were warned long ago, but chose not to do anything about it. They must be convinced. Their disregard for life must be highlighted by the media, just as it has been highlighted in these reports. Years of burning petroleum has strangled the earth and killed countless species, but it’s not too late. These regimes need to fail, but the innocent people of the region need to be protected. Veilcorp has done nothing to expedite the end of these misguided governments or ease the suffering of the people. They need to be held accountable for this disaster because they had a big part in it.