At the request of program specialist Gary, and against my better judgment, I have been hard at work assessing the feasibility of a menehune domestication program for the Lahaina Merchants […]
The Menehune Domestication Program is a Misguided Failure
Tag: Vereserum
Request: Could You Please Reset the Automated Lab Assistant?
Dear Main Office, One of the reasons I wanted to do my internship in Lahaina was because I read about your amazing lab assistant CERA. Vereserum was, and still is, […]
I’m In Dire Need of New Staff and Supplies
Dear Main Office, I won’t beat around the bush. Things here are grim and I am in dire need of food and equipment. My replacement Kānaka assistants have turned on […]
The Dance of the Menehune
Dear Main Office, It has been quite a while since my last communication warning of my co-workers lack of focus, and failure to follow proper lab protocols. Since I didn’t […]
Researcher’s Journal Details Progress of SSHAM Plague at Lahaina Facility
March 3, 2082– It’s been 5 months since I sent a detailed list of my co-workers infractions to the corporate office. Their unprofessional attitude and lack of drive continue despite […]
My Work Environment Has Become Untenable
Dear Main Office, I was touring the Vereserum facility in Lahaina when the catastrophe hit. Fresh out of college and looking for an internship, Vereserum was my first choice. I […]
New information about the garden attack that you should know
Hello Dr. Binyan. I’m sending this message via your personal ceremplant channel since the information I have is sensitive, and I assumed you’d rather not have a copy of it […]
Researchers Working On Method to “Clone” Your Favorite Meal
Most people have a favorite meal or a food they crave. Surveys have shown that the average diner chooses one of four regular options 90% of the time they go […]
Lahaina Advertiser Corrections & Clarifications
The Lahaina Advertiser is committed to bringing you news and content that informs, engages, and entertains. We pride ourselves with holding the highest editorial and journalistic standards, delivering to our […]
Oldest Tree In Hawaii Goes Through a Mysterious Growth Spurt
Since its discovery almost 40 years ago, Okilani an ancient Ohi’a tree on Maui, has fascinated scientists. The massive plant has been estimated to be over 4,000-years-old, making it the […]
