STORYLINE

Veilcorp activity may be producing changes in native flora and fauna

tanager.jpg

Since its inception there have been numerous accusations about the effects of the veil station in Lahaina on the surrounding plants and animals .Numerous internal investigations as well as EPA studies over the last 18 years have failed to offer any definitive proof that the company, or its veiling technology have had any impact on the region’s wildlife. However, with the success of the Icarus mission, 127 (Unbiseptium) has now been found in alarming levels virtually everywhere as the company stockpiles the power source. This has led to a marked increase in complaints and calls for investigation. As the Senior Investigator for the Department of Land and Natural Resources it is my job to collect all available data, conduct a preliminary investigation, and make a recommendation to the governor’s office. The following is that report.

First, I’d like to emphasise that my team and I did not investigate every claim that has been submitted to The Division of Forestry and Wildlife. The time required to do so with my limited staff would have been prohibitive. Instead, we focused on the most common complaints and the specific concerns of the governor.

We could find no specific evidence that the marked increase in a number of invasive plant species, (woodrose, smokebush, pampas grass, among others), was due to Veilcorp activity, or increased exposure to 127. There is no doubt that these species are pushing out native plants, but the increase in visitors to the island who might accidentally carry seed on their clothing, coupled with these plants popularity as landscaping cover, can account for the increase. We did however find a considerable drop in nitrogen levels in the soil around the island. If that is part of a larger natural process or the result of 127 killing off nitrogen-fixing bacteria needs to be studied further as it may be impacting plant life. More on this later in the report.

In addition, human interactions and normal sylvatic cycles can not be ruled out in regards to the higher than normal rates of disease reported in plants and animals. Again, I suggest that officials begin a more thorough investigation. I will also point out at this time that Veilcorp has been less than forthcoming with their own impact studies to my investigators. We have also ran into a number of roadblocks at the local level with officials expressing concern about the investigation’s effect on tourism. Let me assure you that any temporary economic impact that might result from this investigation would pale in comparison to that which would occur should the next Ebola have its origin in Lahaina, and we try to hide it.

We were also unable to verify that a variety of stinkhorn mushroom has become parasitic and has been infecting the deer and boar populations. The sample mushrooms provided by the hunters from Hahai ranch have proved unremarkable. Even though we weren’t able to find an infected animal in our survey, we should remain vigilant and continue to work to find an infected specimen. The hunters know these animals better than most. We should take their reports seriously.

There were a couple of claims that we were able to verify nonetheless, including the alarming reports from the biologists studying the nene. The Hawaiian goose population on the island has become hyper-aggressive and has started to show signs of physical transformations since the Icarus project. The average nene is now 20% larger and carries more robust tomia (the teeth-like structures that line the bill). We have been able to verify a number of attack reports, including an incident where a group tried to separate a child from his family at a park, and the hunting and consumption of small mammals, especially mongooses. Our team experienced attacks themselves while working in a cliff area. A flock tried to drive team members off a high path in a manner reminiscent of large birds of prey pushing food animals to their death.

In addition, a species of native hibiscus, hibiscus waimeae, has become so toxic that it is killing off many of its usual pollinators, including hummingbirds. Some team members theorize that this might be a response to the soil becoming so nitrogen poor. They think the hibiscus is trying to supplement this deficiency with birds in a manner similar to carnivorous flora such as the pitcher plant and venus flytrap. It’s a reasonable hypothesis but to see such a transformation in such a short period of time is unprecedented. Additionally, the new toxin seems to have an intoxicating effect on larger animals. The mongoose population often eats the poisoned birds which makes them slow to react to danger, leaving them particularly vulnerable to nene predation. The word has spread quickly among the local people and incidents of hibiscus intoxication are now common. While we were conducting our investigation there was a bust at the local maker commune after it was discovered that some individuals were selling dried flowers, and had brewed a large quantity of “Tree Tea” to sell to tourists.

While we simply didn’t have the time required to do a proper scientific investigation of many of the environmental claims made since the increase in 127 exposure, there is no doubt something is happening. The physical and behavioral changes in the hibiscus and our state bird are unparalleled, and defy everything we think we know about natural processes. The fact that Veilcorp scientists don’t seem concerned, and have been slow to cooperate is all the more troubling. In my opinion, there can be no doubt that the increase in Unbiseptium has had major impact on all living things. Who knows what it is doing to people? We should act immediately while our ducks still look, swim, and quack like ducks.

STORYLINE

Reparre Biologic develops permanent allergy treatment

lab3.jpg

Until now people like 40-year-old Kristyn Ribble had few ways to cope with their extreme allergies: avoid contact with their allergen, or take medications that can sometimes have serious side effects. But a recent breakthrough by Reparre Biologic is offering a chance to “cure” severe allergic reactions, not just manage symptoms. Using genome editing technology, the company says one shot is enough to permanently rid an individual of any allergy. Reparre says the treatments are safe, quick, and a game changer for those suffering from life threatening allergies.

Kristyn is part of an ever increasingly large group commonly referred to as “Allergy Exiles”. Suffering from a severe sensitivity to tree pollen, Kristyn has spent most of her adult life veiling from place to place in order to stay ahead of pollen blooms. She says, “As a kid I’d have to stay inside for weeks at a time and the medicine I was prescribed made me hyper. It wasn’t a pretty picture. I didn’t understand why my parents gave me these pills that made me bounce off the walls and then would keep me inside while all my friends were out playing. When I was 8 I snuck out to jump through the sprinkler with the neighbor kids during a pollen bloom. I made it through the water a few times before my throat started to close. For the last 32 years I haven’t felt safe outside. I can’t wait to get the treatment and try to live a normal life, without having to move at the beginning of every season or breathe scrubbed air.”

The American College of Allergy, Asthma and Immunology (ACAAI) estimates that over 200,000 people in the U.S. alone are allergy exiles. Mirroring the rise of severe peanut allergies in the 2000’s, the increase in severe pollen allergies has been dramatic and the cause remains a point of controversy. While many radical environmentalists and fringe medical practitioners claim the increase is due to Veilcorp activity or 127 poisoning, most allergists believe in the “hygiene hypothesis”.

According to the hypothesis, children are not exposed to enough infectious agents and parasites, as well as beneficial symbiotic bacteria when young. This severely holds back the natural development of the immune system and leads to extreme susceptibility to allergic diseases. Ironically, according to the explanation the air filters that Kristyn has relied on most of her life may be making her condition worse.

The treatment devised by Reparre is several years in the making and once administered lasts a lifetime. “We use our stem-cell therapy and personalized DNA medicine to permanently modify genes in our patient’s cells putting an end to their body’s extreme response to allergens. Beyond just a stuffy nose and watery eyes, for people like Kristyn, allergic reactions can be fatal. When we started looking into the problem we were surprised to learn that nobody was doing any serious work in the area. Most doctors recommended exposure therapy, but that was at the very least uncomfortable for patients, and could often be dangerous. Our treatment involves taking a cheek swab to harvest some cells, and a return visit the next day for a shot. That’s it. No more living in fear of anaphylaxis,” says CEO Shawn Hastings.

While Reparre says their allergy cure is easy, safe, and quick, there were a number of troubling reports during the treatment’s trial phase. One of the earliest recipients of the treatment was reported to have become allergic to his own hair and later another subject developed a severe sensitivity to water. Hastings dismisses the stories as the fabrications of a disgruntled employee. “I can assure you that nobody has suffered any permanent harm during our testing. Like all trials, we learned some valuable information about side effects and the efficacy of our therapy. But we’re talking about things like nausea and a slight rash, nothing near as dangerous as the conditions we were treating. This treatment is a new lease on life for many.”

Kristyn agrees. She has already made an appointment and plans to be the first recipient of the treatment at her doctor’s office when it is available next week. “It’s going to be a big change for me. I usually spend my winters in Sydney catching as many shows as I can at the Opera House. Then I veil to Tokyo and stay until the cherry blossoms begin to bud, and I move on to my spring/summer homes in Oslo or Stockholm. I absolutely love Scandinavian summers. The fall sees me veiling to my beach house in Lahaina so I can catch the food and wine festival and watch the whales when they begin to arrive. A few months later the whales and I head back to Sydney and begin the whole process again. It’s exhausting! With this new treatment I’m hopeful that I can finally enjoy my many homes in any order I want.”

While the therapy was targeted at dealing with life threatening allergies, Hastings is quick to point out that the procedure works equally well for those with less severe reactions. “If you’re sick of taking a pill every time you go to visit your aunt and her collection of cats, or you just want to stop and smell the roses without getting a sinus headache, ask your doctor if our treatment is right for you. It’s quick, easy, and lasts forever.”

STORYLINE

Raccoons Drunk On Fermented Pineapple Cause Rabies Scare In Lahaina

pinappple.jpg

Lahaina residents can breathe easier today after The Hawaii Department of Land and Natural Resources (DLNR) announced that over a dozen raccoons suspected of being rabid have tested negative for the disease. Over the past month, hundreds of calls were placed to officials from concerned citizens about overly aggressive raccoons in Lahaina neighborhoods, and even some stumbling down the middle of Front street. However, tests now confirm that the animals weren’t infected by the deadly virus, but were instead drunk from eating fermented pineapple.

It seems that wherever you go in Lahaina these days you’ll eventually run across an abandoned box of pineapple. With their automated pineapple picking drones, Ananas Farms brought back a booming pineapple industry to Maui and the future of the farm looked great. However, trouble began a few months ago, when the farm announced an exclusive partnership with Alohagistics to distribute Ananas fruit. The move was supposed to provide residents with cheaper pineapple at the peak of ripeness. Unfortunately, critic’s concerns about a service that relies heavily on volunteer crowd-sourced employees, have turned out to be right. Abandoned Alohagistics boxes filled with rotting pineapple have caused issues with flies, terrible smells, and now, drunk raccoons.

Ano Lee, famed inventor and part owner of Ananas Farm, says his company has been maligned unfairly, and the DLNR is responsible for the raccoons in the first place.

“I understand that nobody wants to see or smell a box filled with twenty pounds of rotting pineapple, except the flies and raccoons I guess, but people are acting like it’s a major public health issue or something. I mean it’s just fruit that’s gone bad. Everyone has found an old forgotten banana of orange in their fridge at some point. It’s not a big deal. The real problem here is the raccoons. The DLNR program that brought them here has obviously failed because they’re out getting hammered instead of eating invasive crayfish like they’re supposed to. You can’t blame them really. You bring anything to Maui from someplace else, and it’s going to get hammered on fruit drinks eventually. Why should the raccoons be any different than the tourists?”

DLNR spokesperson Greg Iona, says that officers are doing everything they can to humanely capture the raccoons, but says the organization is hampered by budget concerns. “I think it’s clear that our limited raccoon release program to combat the invasive Red Swamp Crayfish hasn’t worked as well as we had hoped. At the time it seemed like a natural addition to our “Eat The Pests” campaign. Unfortunately, as we all know a few raccoons escaped, and despite our best efforts, there is now a thriving population. We simply don’t have the money or manpower at this point to fully eradicate the animals. However, if the public follows some of our simple guidelines such as not feeding pets outside, and always covering trash, we can go a long way to combating the problem. Obviously, leaving what amounts to be an open bar for them laying around is not something we endorse. Clearly, these companies need to held accountable. Luckily, the raccoons turned out to be angry drunks in this case and not rabid. We continue to urge the public not to try and capture any animal acting strangely. Call us instead.”

Despite Iona’s warning about interacting with the raccoons, many business owners say they have no choice but to trap the pests themselves. Some have been forced to hire pest removal or wildlife relocation services to combat the nightly wave of hungry bandits. While most are still angry about the raccoons, and the recent rabies scare, at least one business owner says he feels more sympathy for the animals now. One of the loudest voices in Lahaina, Bob Abramo, says he understands the plight of the masked mammals.

“Look, I’m no ring tail lover believe me. I don’t really see the point of most animals unless they’re delicious or can fetch to be honest. But now that I know that many of them were just drunk, and looking for a quality meal, things are different. There are dozens upon dozens of eateries in Lahaina, but none of them have had the problems with raccoons that we’ve had at the Chop House. There were many nights that the cooks would have to put on oven mitts, triple-up their aprons like armor, and grab the sturdiest pan they could find before running the trash panda gauntlet on the way to the dumpster. The chittering hordes were too much for a lot of them, and we lost some good dishwashers when the rabies scare started. But everyone can relate to the drunken munchies. All you want is to sink your teeth into your favorite food, and that’s what these things were doing. Not only do we have the most delectable dishes in town, we also have the tastiest garbage. Our alley full of raccoons every night proves it. I feel honored that even something as simple as a raccoon can recognize the Abramo quality that my customers have come to expect. I still hate them of course, and would be dishing out bowls full of raccoon stew if they were even remotely palatable, but I have a little more respect for them now.”

STORYLINE

Duracave Unveils First Portable 127 Reactor Available To the Public

plasma.jpg

Having power during an outage is a luxury that everyone who own a home generator appreciates, however for some with extreme health conditions, having a constant source of power is a necessity. The same holds true for medical and emergency facilities. Until now, the only options available to the public were generators that relied on batteries, or fuel to keep the power going. Today, Duracave announced that they will offer the public a revolutionary new option that promises to not only provide continuous power for a lifetime, but will allow some to disconnect from the grid entirely. The company has unveiled a portable nuclear power generator that runs on “Unbiseptium,” better known as 127.

One of the military’s largest contractors, Duracave started offering commercial versions of their technology 20-years-ago with their mobile bunker system. The brand has since gained a devout following, especially amongst survival enthusiasts. The company already has a line of emergency solar generators for the home, but their latest design has only been available to the government until now. Duracave says the new generator is a giant leap forward in technology, and allows its customers the “freedom of self reliance for a lifetime.”

Weighing in at 82 pounds, the Portaplant 127 may not be light, but is small enough to be carried by the average consumer. Providing up to 60kW, the mini power plant could continuously power 10 medium sized houses, or a business for up to 75 years before needing to be replenished. “It’s the same technology that has powered the military, now available in your home,” says the company.

Despite the fanfare, many are concerned about the possibility of having a mini nuclear generator in their neighborhood, especially one powered by 127. Tim Durney, founder of the watchdog group VeilWatch, is among the loudest voices in opposition to the technology. He says, “This is exactly what we’ve been warning the public about for the last 15 years. We knew that once the 127 genie was out of the bottle it would be almost impossible to put back in. The element contaminated miles of farmland in Iowa after a containment leak, and gave cancer to thousands way back in 2023. We know that it is poisoning our food, and water. It is having detrimental effects to the environment, causing widespread abnormalities in plants and animals. Worst of all, consumers won’t be able to count on their government to protect them against the many deleterious effects of 127, since we know they are using the element in their own human research. My best advice to anyone who is thinking about purchasing one of these accidents-waiting-to-happen is simple, don’t! If you are concerned about your health and well-being stay away. If someone in your neighborhood buys one, move.”

Nonetheless, not everyone is concerned about the prospect of their neighbor owning a nuclear powered generator. Some are very excited about the prospect. Inventor and technology gadfly Ano Lee says he’s already making plans to integrate the Portaplant into his property. “I’ve been going over the specs since they announced they’d be selling them to the public last month. With one of these things going, I don’t have to worry about power outages ever again. There’s nothing worse than printing a spoon in a storm, and having the electricity go out before the handle is done. The Portaplant can power the entire printer shed with all the machines going, and still have enough juice left over for the Tchotchke Hut. I’m not personally worried about the 127, I mean lots of people here live near the veil station, and I haven’t seen anyone with 3 arms yet. But I understand that tourists might be worried, so we’re putting up a warning sign, and hanging a couple of NBC suits out by the front gate for anyone worried about dying of radiation poisoning while shopping for bobble heads, and plastic pineapples.”

Duracave says all of the products meet government guidelines, and are completely safe to use and operate. The company says they hope to expand their line of 127 generators with an even smaller model next year.

STORYLINE

Man With Goose Phobia Calls Food Delivery Service For Help Scaring Away Birds

nene.jpg

A Lahaina area man with a severe phobia of geese found himself face to face with his worst fear Saturday night, when a group of nene surrounded his home just before dusk. After calling for help from his neighbors, the police, and animal control, to no avail, 48-year-old Kevin Morrow devised an unorthodox solution to his problem. He ordered a meal from the popular Hailoha-Eats delivery service, and asked the delivery driver to scare off the offending birds.

According to Morrow it was an ordinary Saturday evening. He was busy working on his latest book, outlining the danger food carts present to traditional family dinner rituals, when his dog Howie began to bark uncontrollably. Looking out the window, Kevin’s worst nightmare came true when he saw his yard was filled with nene.

Suffering from an acute fear of the state bird, he tried calling his neighbors for help, but they didn’t answer the phone. He next tried the police, but was told that they didn’t handle goose removal, and he should try animal control if they were still in the yard in the morning. Desperate for help, it was then that Morrow spotted the Hailoha-Eats flyer.

“I have more than a few phobias,” says Morrow “I suffer from: meleagrisphobia, the fear of turkeys, alektorophobia, the fear of chickens, and anatidaephobia, the fear of geese. Actually, I find most birds and many social situations to be daunting at the very least. It’s the geese that’s the worst though. There’s just something terrible in the way they walk and sound. They’re so aggressive! To be honest, I wasn’t surprised that I didn’t get any support from my neighbors. I’ve learned that they have little interest in hearing my opinions about their duty to mow the sections of my lawn that their kids play on, let alone scare off dozens of geese there. However, the fact that the police refused to help was very disappointing. When I learned I’d have to wait until morning to call animal control, I could feel myself beginning to spiral into a full blown panic attack. It was then the Hailoha-Eats pamphlet caught my eye. I use the service often, and knew that every order has a “Special Instructions” section. I made the call, turned off the lights so the geese couldn’t see me with their demonic-beady-little-eyes, and waited for help.”

Within minutes delivery driver Mark Me’e pulled into Morrow’s driveway, only to find a dark house. “The order came with a request that read ‘Help with birds,’” says Me’e. “Since it was Peking duck with extra crepes, and a side of foie gras, I thought maybe it was someone who needed help dishing out the food or something. But when I turned on my brights to make sure I had the right address, I saw what it really meant. There were dozens of geese on top of the house, and a bunch more came walking up from the side yard. I half expected Tippi Hedren to appear. None of them were making any noise. They were just looking at me. It was one of the creepiest things that I’ve ever seen.

I honked the horn to scare them away but they all squawked back at me, almost in unison. Honk. Squawk. Honk. Squawk. I rolled down the window to shout at them, and it was then that I noticed that I didn’t hear any bugs or other animals. It was completely silent. I called the customer contact number, and after going to voicemail a few times, Kevin answered. I asked what was going on; he explained his phobia, and said he was pretty sure they would hurt him if he went outside. He begged me to help scare them away, and I said I’d do my best.

They weren’t acting like normal nene. When I opened the door, a bunch of them put their heads low, and made a straight line towards me. It freaked me out so much that I got back in the car, and called Kevin again. I told him that I just drive people around, and deliver food, wrangling disturbing geese was above my paygrade. He sounded so scared though, that I couldn’t just leave him in there. I remembered that I had some emergency flares in the trunk, and told Kevin that I’d need him to draw the bird’s attention so I could get to them. He turned on the lights inside, and all the geese ran to the windows. I popped the trunk and ran to get the flares. I could see some of them turn back to me as I sprinted around the car. I grabbed the flares, lit a couple, and began throwing them in the yard while screaming at the top of my lungs. I can only imagine what it must have looked like to anyone driving past, but it worked. They flew off together, and I gave Kevin his food and a big hug. It’s a delivery I’ll never forget.”

Unusual animal encounters are on the rise in Lahaina, and this incident has many guessing what may have caused the strange behavior in the usually shy geese. Some say it is shifting climate patterns forcing the birds to seek out food in new places, while others place the blame firmly on Veilcorp, their travel technology, and their solar 127 harvesting program. The Department of Land and Natural Resources is expected to release the findings of their investigation into the issue later this year.

Whatever the outcome of the DLNR’s investigation, Morrow says he can’t thank Mark enough, and just wishes he could reward him more for his actions.

“There aren’t a lot of people who would have done what Mark did. I believe he saved Howie and I that evening. That’s why it was so hard to only rate him 3 out of 5 stars and reduce his tip. There’s no doubting his bravery, but at the end of the day he is a food delivery driver, and I was forced to judge him on that criteria. By the time he scared the geese away my crepes had become soggy, and he forgot my extra cucumbers and sauce. To be honest, 3 stars was probably a little too generous. I wish his company offered some sort of personal rating system, but until they do, I have to follow their guidelines. As a person, I can’t say enough nice things about Mark Me’e, but as a delivery driver, he’s a bit wanting.”

STORYLINE

World War II Era Mine Discovered At Veilcorp Construction Site

constructionn.jpg

A construction crew got the surprise of their lives over the weekend, when they discovered a World War II era mine while working on a Veilcorp project. According to reports, the workers discovered the mine early Saturday, but didn’t know what it was. It was only after one of the workers posted a picture of the device on social media that it was identified as a mine. Work at the site was immediately halted while the Navy’s explosive ordnance technicians secured the device. Veilcorp says they are glad nobody was hurt in the incident, and are thankful for the Navy’s quick response.

The Maui Conservation and Recovery Act set strict guidelines on the storage of 127, and other hazardous materials on Maui. As a result, Veilcorp has been building a number of underground storage facilities across the island to store the volatile, and controversial element used in the veiling process. The mine was discovered by a crew working on one such storage site.

According to Ronnie Kalipalani, owner of Ronnie Kalipalani Construction, it all started Saturday morning when his company broke ground on the project. Within minutes, his team found what they thought was a discarded fuel tank buried just inches below the ground. The crew spent the next few days trying to clean-up the object, and discussing what they were going to do with it. After one of the crew posted a picture on social media of himself posing with the object, Navy personnel descended on the site, and evacuated the construction workers. “It was one of the scariest things I’ve ever experienced in my life, and I lived through the lurchin craze,” says Kalipalani.

“We find buried stuff all the time. You’d be surprised what can end up in the ground,” says Ronnie. “Mike found the mine while working the excavator. It was pretty beat up, but you could tell that it had been in the water at some point because of all the coral build-up. It looked like an old fuel tank to me, and Mike asked if he could keep it. He builds all kinds of things out of old junk we find in demo jobs. I’ve seen him make grills, planters, chairs, and even drums out of old tanks we’ve found. You’d be surprised at what the tourists will buy, and how much they’re willing to pay if you tell them something was made by a local artist. Thankfully we decided to try and clean it up before cutting it apart. I’m not sure we’d be around to talk about it if we hadn’t. We tried using the angle grinder, but after chipping away at it most of the day, we had to give up and do some actual work. The next day we started building a jig to hold it in place so we could take the jackhammer to it. We secured it, and were just about to start hammering, when all these Navy vehicles showed up and everyone was shouting. At first, I thought one of my guys had snuck into the base again, but then they told me what was up. I’m still shaking thinking about how close we all came to being blown up.”

The mine was identified as a Japanese type 93 model 4 anti-ship mine. While the Japanese used relatively few naval mines during WWII, hundreds of thousands were still deployed throughout the Pacific. Weighing in at over 1,500 pounds, the mine contained 243 pounds of explosive when deployed. Officials say they believe the mine was washed ashore and buried when hurricane Neki hit Maui last summer.

“These people were extremely lucky,” says a Navy spokesperson. “These mines were built to punch through the armored hulls of military vessels. If it could destroy a foot of reinforced steel, I assure you it would have no trouble obliterating a person. It was the corroded firing mechanism and age that saved lives here. This device uses what’s known as a hertz horn mechanism. Each of the four horns contains acid. When something hits a horn hard enough the container breaks, acid spills out energizing a battery, and the mine explodes. Despite their actions, the horns were so corroded that they were no longer functional in this instance, saving lives. While finding an unexploded WWII mine is highly unlikely, we would like to encourage the public to not take power tools to any mysterious objects they happen to find in the ground. If you don’t know what something is, call authorities before you start hammering on it! Please.”

Kalipalani and crew say they are thankful for the Navy’s swift action and would like to thank whoever saw the picture and alerted authorities. However, Ronnie does have one request.

“We are beyond thankful of course that nobody was hurt, but we’d really like the mine back. I mean it’s not everyday you find a piece of history like that, and Mike had some great plans about how to chop it up. I thought there was some sort of rule about abandoned property becoming the finders after 90 days, but everyone I’ve talked to at the base seems to think that isn’t true. They could at least give us a few dummy bombs or training warheads or something if they plan on keeping our mine. We’re not trying to be jerks. We’re willing to work with them here. We just want what’s fair and reasonable.”

STORYLINE

We Need to rethink these discount trips

maui4.jpg

from: Richard Brace

to: Lisa Hunt
date: Fri, June 5, 2048 at 5:53 PM
subject: Unintended Consequences of our Lowered Pricing

Hi Lisa.

I’m sorry to contact you about this, but we both know that Eric isn’t himself these days, and I’ve sent numerous messages up the chain with no response. I just want to make sure that someone with the power to make a decision is aware of the state of things. Since we’ve known each other for years, and you’re effectively in charge now, I thought I’d reach out. Don’t worry, I won’t make a habit of it.

I understand that Icarus was a great success. We’ve been getting regular 127 shipments, and the stockpile is really impressive. The other day one of the guys in operations calculated that we had enough in storage to send every man, woman, and child on earth through the veil almost 4 times. I also have a basic understanding of economics. Since the cost of powering everything is so low it makes sense to pass the cost reduction down to our customers, but that’s the problem. Making things cheaper for everyone else is eating away at my budget faster than I can keep up.

As the head of Safety and Facilities here in Lahaina I’ve seen a huge increase in damages, injury claims, and a big blow to our image. I’m sure an accountant somewhere made the case that if we lower the price by half, we could triple the amount of travelers and shipments. On paper it makes sense, but I don’t think they’ve considered all the ramifications. In the past I’ve been a big believer in toeing the company line when it comes to the social benefits of letting all people travel freely, but these discount customers are changing my mind. The increase in headcount we now need to run smoothly has to be eating most of that revenue increase. If you couple that with the hit we’re taking to our reputation, I can’t imagine we’re ahead at all.

Even with the quota law in place here on the island we are getting a long line of unsavory individuals veiling in every day. You wouldn’t believe the number of people who come through for day trips without shirts or shoes on. When I first started, veil travel was a luxury. People appreciated it. Did you ever have a really nice bike or toy when you were a kid? Do you remember how well you took care of it? It’s human nature to respect something that costs a lot, and to not worry about things that are cheap. We have become cheap and it’s hurting our brand. Some of these people have less respect for us than they do for a convenience store. The increase in settlements from people slipping or stepping on glass has forced me to double the full time cleaning crew and they still can’t keep up with the traffic.

The lobby is starting to look like a bus station. I don’t have enough crew to deal with the increase of travellers, and nobody seems interested in giving me a bigger budget. We have to deal with numerous cases of people using the facility as a flop house, or unruly drunks using us for pub crawls every day now. A group came through recently that thought it would be a good idea to climb the sculptures. One of them was literally swinging from the chandeliers before we got him down. If we can’t get more security staff in soon we’re going to become a buffet table for personal injury lawyers. Do you have any idea what our liability would have been if he fell and broke his back? Are we looking to change our Company motto to “Here, hold my beer. Watch this”?

Intoxicated customers falling from the sky isn’t the worst of it though. Yesterday I saw that someone sent a babyseat through with baby included. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Evidently, the mother has been sending the infant this way for months because of a shared custody order. With the lowered prices, it’s just more “convenient” for her to make the exchange this way. Her ex showed up minutes later, but for a few terrifying moments my crew was responsible for the welfare of a baby, and evidently it wasn’t the first time! I called the authorities but that’s not really the point. It’s clear to me that we are one bad day away from a PR disaster.

I’ve even heard rumors that we’re going to start a food delivery service soon. Please tell me that isn’t true. Since the price adjustment we have seen an almost 400% increase in the number of packages arriving through our shipping service. I can assure you that we haven’t had a similar increase in the amount of inspectors. I worry everyday about the Feds finding a huge drug cache or worse, not finding some sort of explosive device. With our enemies in congress we should be worried about the Feds sending something like that themselves to test the system. Right now I don’t think we’d pass the test. Can you imagine what would happen if some of the food we transported made someone sick? They’d rake us over the coals in the media, and they’d be right.

At the very least I need enough budget to cover all the cracks that are spreading across our operations. I feel like I’m being set up to fail right now. Maybe I’m just stuck in the past when I think about this place. Veiling used to be an extravagance. The station used to command a certain amount of awe and respect, and now we’re slowly turning into a glorified taxi service. This can’t be good for our bottom line.

STORYLINE

Hundreds Rescued From Veilcorp “Floatilla Protest”

beache.jpg

Off Baby Beach this morning, the so-called Veilcorp “protest floatilla” dissolved into disarray, less than a week after it began. Hundreds of protestors had to be rescued from the water with dozens being treated for exposure and related injuries. 6 people are in serious condition. Officials say alcohol and drug use contributed to the chaos, adding that they are looking into charging protest organizer, John Driscol.

According to Driscol it all started last Saturday, April 11th. He had just had a heated conversation with a tourist about the safety of Veilcorp’s Icarus project and the solar production of 127 (Unbiseptium). Many, including prominent scientists, are concerned about the impact the element is having on the surrounding environment.

“I was so hot after talking to that know-it-all, that I had to leave the beach bar and cool off in the water. I stepped on an urchin almost right way, and that’s when it occurred to me: Veilcorp is making Lahaina a terrible place by storing huge amounts of 127 in the ground and ruining our beaches by dumping thousands of urchins in the water. There’s no way I could actively do anything to stop them, they’re a huge organization. If I had any chance of making myself and my concerns heard, I’d have to do the opposite. I’d do nothing, and I’d do nothing for a long time. I’m good at nothing and It didn’t surprise me at all how fast the protest caught on.”

Armed only with floaties, kayaks, paddleboards, and a few swimming mattresses, John and a few friends floated out in the Baby Beach area and begin their lackadaisical protest. Word of the unique demonstration spread quickly through social media. By Sunday, hundreds, some with boats, had joined Driscol in his floating revolt against Veilcorp and the status quo. That evening, the story was picked up by numerous media outlets and the response was “staggering”.

While many were confused about the exact purpose of the floatilla or how they planned on accomplishing their goals, some locals embraced the idea and offered their help. Inventor Ano Lee provided the floatilla with 5 of his Sharknet modules to help protect against attacks. “I’m not necessarily behind the movement, to be honest I’m not even sure what it is they hope to accomplish, but I love the idea of almost a thousand people becoming convinced that floating in the sun and drinking beer is a radical form of protest. I’ll support that kind of thinking however I can, just to see what will happen,” Mr Lee said.

Others provided suntan lotion and offered emergency floatie patching services. Driscol says, “I made it clear that this was a BYOB kind of thing, but a couple of my backers did send out care packages of pineapple and orange wedges, cherries, and pretzels to help us keep our strength up, but there just wasn’t enough bar garnish for everyone.” Officials estimate that at its height Wednesday evening, a living raft of almost 10,000 protesters had joined the floatilla and major issues began to surface.

Those issues came to a head Thursday night and carried over into this morning. Over 30 first responders worked on treating victims overnight suffering from severe dehydration, heat stroke, and exposure. A dozen conservation officers weaved their way through the water, conducting safety checks and looking for underage drinkers. They estimate that the cost of the cleanup effort to remove all the trash left by the protestors is going to reach into the tens of thousands. Ocean Safety lifeguards and the U.S. Coast Guard are scheduled to assist the effort today. Many are now calling for the government to break-up the floatilla and file charges against Driscol. An anonymous source inside the mayor’s office says that at the very least, Driscol will be billed for the cleanup and emergency response.

Veilcorp COO Lisa Hunt says she is bewildered by the protest, its leader in particular, and hopes that everyone makes a full recovery, despite what they think about the company.

“I’m rarely surprised these days but I have to admit the size of this group of disgruntled floaters amazed me. Very early on we made contact with Mr. Driscol to ascertain exactly what it was he wanted and his quote was, ‘I want you to stop.” When we pressed for specifics about what it was he wanted stopped he responded, “You know, all of it.” That was the extent of our negotiations. The fact that anyone got behind this man is astonishing to me. John Driscol is like some sort of mythical creature from a parable. He has become so lazy and unwilling to take responsibility for his actions that he has created work for himself, and will be left holding the bag for all the misdeeds of his fellow floatillians. It’s an amazing accomplishment, but not one anybody should be proud of.”

STORYLINE

Unprecedented start to hurricane season has many worried

hurricane.jpg

2047 is turning out to be the worst hurricane season in recorded history, and that has many Maui residents concerned and looking for answers. Less than two months into the season and the island has already weathered 2 tropical storms and a full fledged hurricane. The extraordinary string of bad weather has many worried that Veilcorp activity is to blame, while other islanders have slightly more spiritual concerns about the storms.

Tropical storm Iopa hit the islands hard on May 7th this year, a full month before hurricane season officially begins, but that was just the beginning. Hurricane Kika followed soon after with tropical storm Lana cresting land a few weeks ago. While the storms caused relatively little damage to populated areas, the frequency of activity this year has many worried. Now, with tropical depression Maka looming and Neki following and gaining strength quickly, residents are looking for answers and some relief.

The last time a category 4 hurricane hit Hawaii was back in 1992. On September 11 hurricane Iniki passed directly over the island of Kauai. By the time it had passed, the storm had killed 6, destroyed 1,400 homes and caused more than $1 billion in damage. None of the storms this year have matched that intensity so far, but meteorologists say that Neki is following a similar path and is growing rapidly.

Many believe that an infamous Veilcorp program is to blame for the increase is storms. Since it started solar production of 127 (unbiseptium) in 2046, the Icarus project has been a lightning rod for Veilcorp opponents. Many claim that the change in weather patterns can be directly tied to the notorious project.

Critics say that worldwide exposure to 127 has increased drastically since the project began and that it is too soon for any study to make a definitive finding one way or the other about its safety. They point to a marked increase in major storms and changing weather patterns worldwide since Icarus began as proof that the issue needs more attention. Locally, many are concerned that the increase in 127 is having an impact on native flora and fauna. Calls for an investigation by the Department of Land and Natural Resources have gone unanswered so far, but activists remain vocal.

The corporation says that concerns are unfounded and that there is no proof that the project has any effect on the weather, sea, or animals. They point out that Veil technology has relied on 127 since its inception over 20-years-ago, and that there is no evidence of any long-lasting negative effects.

Still others on the island worry that Veilcorp activity has caused a cosmic crisis and that the unusual weather patterns are a symptom of a spiritual sickness. One such believer is Sebastian Malu. A Barraloha instructor at the Kokua Wellness Center in Lahaina and the founder of the Eternal Cycle Church, Malu says that Veilcorp should have consulted an astrologer before beginning the Icarus project.

He says,

“It’s insane to me that nobody at Veilcorp realized that harvesting energy from the center of our solar system in a year in which Mercury was occulated by the sun and Saturn was experiencing its summer solstice was a bad idea. Add to that the fact that there were 2 partial lunar eclipses in 2046, followed by 2 total eclipses this year and it’s a recipe for disaster. Just look at how bad the storms have been so far and we’re just getting started. The hurricane season lasts another 4 months. I know it’s popular to dismiss the wisdom of the ancients but they were given a blueprint for life and had a rich understanding of the great cycles that we have all but lost. The Melchizedek pattern and the Great Wesak cycle came together in April and May last year. It should have been a time of discernment and higher vibrations, instead Veilcorp ramped up their parasitic activity and muddied the cosmic water for all of us. I’ve been warning all my students and parishioners that our mother and the universe will have to make adjustments in order to return to balance. I believe the storms we’ve seen so far are part of that process. It’s not a coincidence that Neki is on its way just in time for the lunar eclipse on July 7th. It’s going to take a powerful storm to wash away the stain Veilcorp has left, and I’m afraid that’s exactly what’s coming.”

Whether it’s just an unusual natural cycle, a product of Veilcorp experiments, or a cosmic cry for help, the storm season this year is already one for the record books. Many residents are already preparing for the worst and hoping for the best. Officials are tracking the storms closely and say they could reach land in a matter of days.

STORYLINE

Arrest Made As Rescue Workers Continue To Remove Leis From Wildlife

arrest.jpg

An arrest was made today in a case that has thrown Lahaina in the national spotlight and left environmentalists shaking their heads. 43-year-old Gary Puniwale was taken into custody and charged with harassing wildlife after placing leis on hundreds of animals in West Maui including endangered sea turtles and birds. Puniwale claims that he was simply trying to win a contest and had no idea affixing the flowered necklaces could be dangerous to wildlife. Officials are calling his actions one of the most irresponsible acts they have ever seen.

It all started early on New Year’s day with reports from owners finding their pets with leis glued to their necks. Parks officials were inundated with calls about squirrels and birds sporting the traditional Hawaiian necklaces as well. Soon hundreds of photographs of lei sporting animals were uploaded to a “Living Lahaina” page, an initiative designed to highlight the natural beauty and wildlife of the West side of the island. For the next few days, hundreds of garland ladened animals were rescued including turtle hatchlings and rare birds, while officers searched for those responsible.

Now, almost two weeks after the first flowered squirrel was discovered officials have made an arrest. Lahaina resident Gary Puniwale is accused of gluing leis onto hundreds of animals and uploading images through at least a dozen different accounts. Puniwale says he was just trying to take the top prize in the Living Lahaina contest.

Mayor Albert Cravalho says he’s glad that an arrest was made and disappointed that a program designed to highlight Lahaina’s wild beauty caused so much harm. “I just can’t imagine what Gary was thinking,” he says.

“Living Lahaina was designed to highlight what an extraordinary place West Maui is. Not only are we the home of Veilcorp and a center of innovation and technology, but we live in the most beautiful place on Earth. Vibrant flowers and exotic birds thrive next to buildings where tomorrow’s technology is born. We’re surrounded by some of the bluest waters you’ve ever seen and our reefs are a divers paradise. When we asked the public to share their best pictures of the natural wonders that make living in Lahaina unlike any other place in the world we didn’t imagine that someone would start gluing flowers to animals.”

In addition to shutting down Lahaina’s first marketing campaign of the year, Greg Ionia, senior investigator for the DLNR, says Puniwale’s actions may have lasting effects on some critically endangered animals.

“This is hands down the most irresponsible thing I have ever seen in my 15 years with the agency. There are less than 200 crested honeycreepers left in the wild and Mr. Puniwale glued leis to 3 of them. We haven’t been able to definitively tie him to all the accounts posting pictures of these poor animals, but of the ones we have, it appears that Gary interacted with 8 different protected species. For me, the worst was the green sea turtles. We’re talking about a species that has already been pushed to the brink. Their normal breeding cycle has been altered by months because of global warming and changing ocean currents. With so much working against them, the last thing the hatchlings needed was to be overloaded with leis that weigh as much as they do as they fight for their lives through the surf. It’s heartbreaking and inexcusable.”

For his part, Puniwale says he’s sorry about any harm he may have caused but had no idea that his actions were illegal. In addition, he says that his use of multiple accounts to submit photos to the Living Lahaina webpage was to avoid any bias his name holds with city council members and not to avoid the consequences of his actions.

“I’ve had a few unfortunate mishaps over the years that made the news and put a target on my back with some city council members so I figured using different accounts was the way to go. At no time did I think that I was hurting the animals I put leis on. I mean we’ve been putting leis on people who visit the islands for decades. In retrospect, I should have known that gluing flowers to animals to win a photography contest was wrong when I saw that the honey catchers and hummingbirds weren’t strong enough to fly with them attached.

I’m willing to take full responsibility for my actions but what upsets me the most is hearing people say that what I was doing was stupid and lazy. They have obviously never tried to attach leis to hatching turtles in the dark. It’s not like the turtles mark where they’ve laid eggs. You have to run up and down a few miles of beach carrying pounds of flowers and glue sticks looking for the slightest movement in the sand. It’s not a job for the dimwitted. On top of that, you only have seconds to fight off the birds trying to eat the hatchlings and stick the flowers on them before they get in the surf. You can call that a lot of things, but lazy isn’t one of them.”