STORYLINE

Case In Third Veilcorp Bombing Suspect Faces Legal Roadblock

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The case against the third suspect in the Veilcorp Luau bombing has hit a major roadblock. While she is still being held for trial, attorneys for 35-year-old Sierra Tabot have alleged that major pieces of evidence in the case against her were obtained improperly as part of a wide-ranging illegal rendition program. They contend that the government colluded with Veilcorp officials to wrongfully hold and interrogate dozens of suspects in undisclosed locations. If proven to be true, it could have a devastating effect on the State’s case not only for Tabot, but also for her alleged conspirators.

The Veilcorp bombing back on May 4, 2041 shocked the world. 39 were injured and 10 people lost their lives including founder Eric Oeming’s wife and young daughter. 3 days later Ben Drakes, a Veilcorp employee with ties to the radical environmentalist group Gaia Guard, confessed to the crime and released a manifesto accusing the company of “tearing her [the Earth] apart with gateway technology.”

The arrest so soon after the attack led much of the public to expect a quick resolution to the investigation but it was over 6 months before the next suspect was apprehended. On January 15, 2042 Richard Yates was arrested for his involvement in the conspiracy. A branding associate at Reality Machine, Yates had moved to Lahaina to work on the inter-island rail project and blamed Veilcorp for the project’s early end.

The case seemed to be picking up momentum again when earlier this month the government released some additional information about their case against Yates and arrested a third suspect, Sierra Tabot.

The state says that Tabot was working as a Barraloha instructor at the Kokua Wellness Center when she met Richard Yates. The two seemed to bond immediately over their shared hatred of Veilcorp and the company’s leader, Eric Oeming. The pair were soon inseparable and Sierra’s fellow employees began to worry about her stability. Ascended Pali-ites Master Autumn says,

“Sierra began to travel down some troubling paths. She became obsessed with the idea that the Veilstation was powered by draining the Ch’i of the living things around it and the people passing through the gateway. She talked about how the scientists and engineers working at the station were spiritually hollow and that they were trying to make everyone else hollow too. It began to affect her work and we had a few complaints from guests. The final straw came when she burst into another instructor’s class one day with a handful of her crystals, screaming about how they were no longer attuned and tried to evacuate the building. Management had to let her go.”

After her dismissal, Tabot found work with Kaiwi and Sons catering. The State says that it was at this time that Sierra and Yates became heavily involved with Gaia Guard extremists and met with Drakes for the first time. They contend that after discovering Kaiwi and Sons was scheduled to provide food for the annual Veilcorp company Luau, the trio began to craft the plan that would eventually claim 10 lives and stun the world.

Any forward progress in the case was stopped over the weekend however, when Tabot’s legal team accused the government and Veilcorp of participating in an illegal rendition program. They say that dozens of possible suspects were taken and improperly held at secret facilities, where they were interrogated and in some cases, tortured. The backlash has been quick and overwhelming.

U.S. Rep. John Kildee has been very vocal about the allegations and just this morning has called for a congressional investigation into the charges, “I think the American people deserve to know if Veilcorp has decided that it’s OK to snatch people out of thin air. As troubling as that idea is, I think it would be even more disturbing if it turned out that someone in this government gave them a green light or was working with them. These are not the kind of ideas that this country was founded on and I intend to find the truth.”

Veilcorp attorney Harold Breen counters, “Veilcorp works with government or law enforcement officials from time to time, by providing personal or travel details about certain customers when presented with the proper orders or writs. Nonetheless, to be clear, and for the record, we do not grab people while they are veiling and transport them to internment camps. These allegations are categorically false.”

At this point, while she sits waiting in her cell, the future of the case against Tabot is on hold until the courts rule on her lawyer’s allegations. If even some of her accusations prove true it could have huge ramifications. Yates’ case has already been slow and mired in motions, but this could derail the case entirely. There have been calls for the President to put a temporary stay on Drakes’ execution by a small but growing and vocal group. Any hope that the long investigation might finally come to an end seems all but lost at this point. Tonight, there is still no peace for the victims in Lahaina.

STORYLINE

Veilcorp and Lahaina Rally Around Injured Tourist With History of Vacation Mishaps

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A Colorado man is recovering in the Lahaina Medical Center this morning, after suffering a severe stingray attack yesterday, while wading in the Baby Beach area with his wife. Stingray attacks can be very painful and require medical attention, but doctors realized 60-year-old Robert Waldowski’s injuries were quite serious, after x-rays revealed that a portion of the fish’s stinger was still embedded in his heel, dangerously close to his tibial artery. While the attack was noteworthy, it is not the reason that Robert is in the news this morning, and why so many have pledged to do all they can to make what’s left of his trip as nice as possible. It turns out Mr. Waldowski has a long, (almost unbelievably long), history of animal attacks while on vacation.

“I wasn’t surprised at all when I felt the stab in my foot,” says Robert. “I remember telling my wife, ‘it’s happening again,’ just before I blacked out from the pain.” The story of Waldowski’s animal attacks begins back in the year 2000 when he was a senior in college, enjoying a spring break with his friends, in the mountains outside of Denver. “We were just throwing around a ball and waiting for breakfast. I didn’t even see the mountain lion until the back of my neck was in it’s mouth. I spent a week in the Hospital that time.”

Robert says the same group of friends convinced him to go with them to Pack Creek Alaska, to watch brown bears during the salmon run the next year. The area is known for having one of the largest concentrations of brown bears in the world when the fish are spawning, and is a favorite place to go for nature lovers, and those trying to get pictures of huge bears. However, in 2001 Pack Creek was famous for a horrendous bear attack caught on film. “That was a bad one. It took a few months before I was back on my feet,” adds Robert.

The list of attacks continued for years: gored and trampled by a bison while visiting Yellow Stone Park in 2004, Robert spent 3 days in a hospital in 2006 after being bitten by a bushmaster, the longest viper in the world, while on vacation in Bolivia, and while on safari in 2009, Waldowski’s boat was capsized by a bull hippo with many in his group never found alive. “It wasn’t just the Hippos we had to worry about, the river was full of crocodiles too. Some of us made it to a sandbar after the Hippo bit the boat in half. We waited 20 hours in ankle deep water, worried that a crocodile was going to grab one of us, until help arrived. I love the outdoors and nature, I really do, but sometime during those hours standing there, I accepted that for whatever reason, nature did not like me. I promised myself that the wilderness adventures were done and all my vacations were over. If I made it, I’d stay safe and sound where I belonged. I kept that promise for 30 years, until my wife convinced me to go to Lahaina for my 60th birthday. There weren’t any animals that could hurt me if we stayed in town, and we’d only wade a few feet out into the water, and only where there was shark netting. I guess they haven’t invented stingray netting yet,” says Robert.

“When Veilcorp heard about the Waldowski’s story we had to do something to turn Robert’s luck around,” says Veilcorp Spokesperson Lisa Hunt. “We’ve offered to pay for the remainder of their vacation, and have pulled a few strings to make sure that the rest of their visit is a great one. On top of that, we’re going to give them tickets for another vacation next year, anywhere in the world they’d like to go. We’re not much on superstition around here, but we’d suggest someplace with few large predators” joked Hunt. This is not the first time the company has offered tourists in unusual circumstances free travel. Last Fall, Harrison Lehmann was given free tickets for life after he was born inside the Lahaina veilstation.

“We heard that Robert likes looking at the stars, so we’ve arranged a private tour of the newly operational Hoku Telescope and ‘Science City’,” says Hunt. Hula Noodle owner “Uncle” Ralph Umeke says the couple can enjoy a free meal any time of day for the rest of their stay. He adds, “The shop is 100% pet free so Robert doesn’t have to worry about being bitten or scratched while he’s enjoying a bowl of noodles.”

Even the exclusive Kokua Wellness Center and Spa has offered their support to the Waldowskis. Wellness specialist and spokesperson Yvonne Masters says, “We’d love to do anything we can to help the Waldowskis cast aside the negative feelings of the last few days, through massage, tonal therapy, and our relaxing urchin-based body scrub. We’d even like to offer Robert a complimentary crystal cleanse, and aura realignment to make his presence more agreeable to wildlife.”

Robert and Amy say they can’t believe the outpouring of concern and support, “I guess Aloha Spirit is alive and well in Lahaina,” says Amy. She adds, “We want to thank everyone who’s sent cards and letters, as well as all the businesses offering their support, especially Veilcorp and Ms. Hunt. Robert can’t wait to get out of here, and see the telescope. In the meantime, we’re going to do a little research and try to find a place we can use our free tickets, that doesn’t have any poisonous animals.”

STORYLINE

Kokua Wellness Center’s Hot Yoga Program Raises Concerns

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Well known for their exclusive clientele, as well as their unconventional classes and treatments, the Kokua Wellness Center and Spa is often the subject of media attention. However, it is not the latest Layla Kalani sighting that has the spa in the news today, it’s the centers first offsite hot yoga program. With classes such as Attitudinal Interpersonal Marketing, and Mindful Chewing, you might wonder why Kokua’s hot yoga class is in the news. The answer to that is simple, this hot yoga class is taught near an active lava field.

According to Sebastian Malu, barr-a-loha and lava yoga instructor, hot yoga has many benefits. It can: cleanse toxins from the body due to profuse sweating, increase lung capacity, and circulation, boost the body’s immune system and regenerative properties, increase flexibility, and help with weight loss. He points out that a person who performs 90 minutes of hot yoga can burn over 700 calories. Nonetheless, Malu says his brand of hot yoga offers many more benefits.

“Though we try to pretend otherwise, the four fundamental elements are essential to good health and overall well-being. The truth of this is undeniable. The benefits of water aerobics and aqua therapy are well known. We are only beginning to understand how beneficial things like acrobatics and aerial exercise can be to happiness and balance. While those practices focus on the restoration of only one element, lava yoga harnesses the power of earth to keep you grounded and fortify your spirit, as well as invigorating your mana with fire, using that powerful energy to manifest your interpersonal goals.”

Taught at the foot of Kilauea’s most active lava field, Malu says his yoga classes are so popular that they are fully booked for the next three years. “I’m in the process of hiring an assistant so we can let more people experience the power of lava yoga, but the screening process is long and quite involved.”

Though the possibility of being covered in magma while in “dolphin” pose, may seem terrifying to some, Malu says that lava yoga is quite safe. “We recommend that all of our students wear fire retardant clothing just to be safe, but honestly, there’s very little chance of being seriously burned. Heat resistant suits are much too bulky to wear during lava yoga, so your proximity to the magma is limited. I tend to teach the class a blistering few hundred feet away, but I tell beginners to double that, and be mindful of the wind. Lava yoga is perfectly safe and may be the most complete physical and spiritual exercise ever conceived.”

Despite Malu’s reassurances many experts say that lava yoga is dangerous, and potentially deadly. They point out that lava is not the only danger of being near a volcano, it is often the gases released from the ground that are the most deadly. Greg Iona from the DLNR says, “The flow in the area is slow enough generally that I’m not concerned about people being overrun by lava, it’s a cloud of carbon dioxide settling down and asphyxiating people that I’m worried about. There are a number of harmful gases that should cause these people concern: sulfur dioxide, hydrogen sulfide, hydrochloric acid and carbon monoxide, just to name a few. There’s a reason volcanologists usually wear some sort of respiratory device while working near a volcano.”

Despite warnings from experts, many are willing to take the chance, and find the prospect of exercising in the shadow of a volcano exhilarating. Professional drinker, and Manimal spokesperson Tony “Half-Barrel” Kahale credits lava yoga with revitalizing his career.

“I’ve swallowed thousands of gallons of Manimal in my career, but I couldn’t swallow losing the Red Bottle 5-years-ago. It was a real low point. For 9 years I had been able to drink more Manimal, faster than anyone on the planet. It was everything to me, and when I lost, I lost more than the title. I lost who I was. Then I met Sebastian, and my life changed forever. He explained I had been living an unbalanced life. I had flooded my inner fire and earth. If I was going to get back on top, I needed to get rid of some of my water, and imbue myself with other energies. He was right. You wouldn’t believe how much you can ring out of my clothes after a session of lava yoga, it could fill a kiddie pool! I’ll be honest, the smell is pretty bad, and so are the vapors coming from the volcano. It’s like someone shoved rotten egg salad wrapped in burning hair up your nose, but you can’t argue with the results. I won my title back last year, and plan on defending it in a few months. They say the strongest steel has to go through the hottest fire. I don’t know anything about that, but I can tell you that lava yoga has my desire burning hotter than ever, and man am I thirsty!”

STORYLINE

The Kokua Wellness Center Has Limited Spots Available, Apply Now!

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For the past 9 years, you’ve come to know the Kokua Wellness Center and Spa as the premier destination for mindful relaxation and facilitated personal growth. The beauty of our Maui location is matched only by the grace of our teachers and programs. We truly appreciate the trust and spiritual relationships you’ve formed with us as well as your financial offerings. We try to give that energy back every day, but some things are out of our control.

As you may be aware, government mandated quotas might soon be enacted on the island because of overcrowding concerns. In a few months, the number of visitors allowed to Veil to Maui could be set, and a waiting list will be created. While some businesses have already closed ahead of this well-intentioned government overreach, we have bent like the reed and have embraced the adversity.

Change is often scary, but it is always necessary. Like the winds and the ocean currents, a shift is coming to the Center, and we would like to take as many of you as we can on this unfamiliar journey. The proposed law is forcing us to reduce our membership by half. We regret that we won’t be able to take all of you with us but we promise to offer blessings and referrals of support for those who are impacted by this transition.

We have spent days in contemplation about this possible change and have decided to let you show us who wants to make the best use of our teachings. To help us make this important decision we are announcing a number of new programs and classes updated to better manage your needs and concerns. Our new membership roll will be based on the financial and spiritual gratitude you show us by accepting these guided gifts into your daily routine. While it is not compulsory to sign-up for every new offering, they have been designed to serve all members and aspects of your family.

Please let us know which of the following you’d like to explore.

Attitudinal Interpersonal Marketing: Positive people get positive outcomes. Learn in our float tanks through a number of biofeedback techniques to remove negative thoughts from your life. Perception is reality. If you only see the good in yourself others will too. Don’t tell your boss you want a raise, let him feel it through your aura. Live a faultless life by refusing to recognize any flaw. Allow us to improve your personal brand and truth.

Advanced Pali-ites II: Similar to our previous advanced pali-ites class, pali-ites II still focuses on controlled breathing, body-mind connections, and purposeful action, but that is where the similarities end. Ascended Pali-ites Master Autumn has manifested one the most complete centering programs you will ever encounter. Her progressive relaxation exercises and words of deliberate consistency will guide you into new realms of spiritual alignment. Master Autumn emphasizes being present in all things, but she is unchained by the worldly concept of time. Classes begin and end daily when they should, and not according to a rigid schedule.

Devotional Eating: Feeding your soul is important but the truth of the matter is the body needs to be fed too. Bolster your body with Chef Craig’s teachings and creations. You will learn to enjoy your meals beyond the limits of your five senses through the art of transpersonal plating. Craig will expose you to a number of mindful chewing and purposeful swallowing strategies. Learn just how important food can be to your overall health and satisfy your hungry mind.

Family Balance: All too often your time here is seen as a bastion of serenity in a sea of chaos. This can be especially true when you have a busy family life. This offering will give you a wide array of skills to pass on the peace to your family. Holistic grooming will teach you a more complete path for dealing with your pet. Learn how you can let their souls shine as bright as their coats. Teach your baby to self-soothe with the infant-autohypnosis techniques you will learn through our guided imagery process. Discover where the chakras are in your home, how to align them, and much more.

Of course, you’ll still be able to enjoy most of our more established programs including our popular Barraloha exercise classes that you’ve come to love. We will continue to provide State-mandated discounts for our local clientele but will be transitioning them to more appropriate areas of the building to better reflect their level of financial commitment. The destination parking area down the street has now been cleared for the exclusive use of our discount customers, and we ask them to use the expedition entrance around the rear of the building. Call to inquire about times and availability. No walk-ins, please. Keep an eye out for additional learning opportunities as we continue to grow into our newest incarnation. This is a joyous time for all of us and we appreciate your help in separating the wheat from the chaff.

STORYLINE

Kokua Wellness Center To Offer Controversial Manimal Detox Program

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The Kokua Wellness Center is world renowned for its high-end beauty treatments and exclusive clientele, but the spa has announced that they plan to depart from their usual services, and dip their toes into a controversial subject, Manimal detoxification. While most healthcare and addiction specialists claim that “Manimal addiction” is no more serious than having a penchant for coffee, many claim the Lahaina based energy drink company is pedaling a dangerous and potentially addictive product. They say over time Manimal can have serious detrimental health effects, and can cause severe withdrawal symptoms in those trying to give up the popular drink.

According to the Journal of the Hawaiian Medical Association, between 34 and 44 percent of young adults drink Manimal at least once a day. In addition, at least half of those polled say they consume between 4-6 cans daily. “That’s an irresponsible amount of caffeine, taurine, and other hazardous stimulants for a body to process,” says Chef Craig Hoomaau, a certified nutritionist and transpersonal plating-arts instructor at the Kokua Wellness Center and Spa.

“Kokua has always been about healing, and seeing so many of our neighbors trying to walk through their life’s journey burdened with the heavy weight of Manimal addiction, we knew we had to act. Unlike normal caffeine withdrawal which causes little more than headaches or an inability to concentrate, patients suffering from Manimal withdrawal often experience: uncontrollable muscle spasms similar to restless leg syndrome, dysphoria, an intense urge to run or jump, nausea and vomiting, a craving for carbonated beverages, heart palpitations, and a need to let out a primal scream. Severe cases can lead to liver failure, seizures, and psychotic episodes. We have developed an all natural way to cleanse the body of Manimal poisons. By boosting your own immune responses through tonal treatments, aural bathing, facilitated napping, and herbal replacement therapy, we are offering the first all natural Manimal detox program in the world.”

Hoomaau claims that over a dozen customers have signed up for the cleansing already, but health care professionals remain skeptical about the condition and the cure. Dr. Dalia Forsythe, director of the Lahiana Medical Center says, “We have no proof that Manimal addiction is anything other than an addiction to caffeine. Unfortunately, I believe Manimal is a victim of its own popularity in this case. We don’t hear about addiction to other energy drinks that contain similar ingredients. As far as a system to “detox” your body goes, well that is complete fantasy. The body already has its own complex purification system. No amount of bell ringing or basil chewing is going to remove more toxins from your body than your kidneys and liver. This is just the modern equivalent of the lemon juice and cayenne pepper cleanses that were so popular in the early 2000’s.”

However, some applaud Kokua’s new program and wish it had been available earlier. One of the most vocal Manimal critics in the addiction debate is 31-year-old Steven Nauwe. The dog walker and groomer made national headlines in the Spring of 2027 after his Manimal addiction led to multisystem organ failure. Nauwe was airlifted to The Queens Medical Center in Honolulu, where he would spend close to a month recovering.

“At the height of my problem I was drinking at least 20 cans a day. Almost dying was obviously terrible, but little did I know the worst was yet to come. Being without Manimal that first week in the hospital was horrendous. The doctors kept saying my discomfort was due to my system trying to restart itself, but deep down in my bones and my spleen, I knew it was the lack of Manimal. It had a hold on me like a wrestler, and I was almost down for the count. Kicking Manimal was the hardest thing I’ve ever done next to grooming the Driscol’s cats. I can’t express how grateful I am that Kokua has taken the issues of Manimal addiction seriously, and are offering a detox program to aid those suffering from withdrawal.”

Manimal CEO Spencer Kane acknowledges that long-time drinkers may experience headaches or minor irritability when going cold turkey, but says that the allegations of more serious effects are simply not true. “I’ve checked with the company doctors and lawyers and we all agree; These allegations are stupid! The biggest thing that should concern you if you stop drinking Manimal is your output. This is a high performance drink for high performance people. To avoid the mild headaches that some regular drinkers can experience, we suggest you taper down your intake before quitting. When your engines are burning hot you have to gradually cool them down, even forged steel can crack a bit if you cool it down too fast. As always, we encourage our customers to enjoy our drink in radical moderation. Other than that, it’s all good.”