A Vereserum app that was supposed to aid customers survive those long Thanksgiving dinners with relatives has turned into a horror story for users across Maui. Part of a Ceremplant “Home for the Holidays” pack, the program featured face-swapping technology and a special dark mode to allow users to “…attach a friendlier face to your most problematic relatives or sneak in a nap while sitting at the table.” Instead of a helping hand, however, hundreds of users experienced terrifying bugs with the software including temporary blindness.
“Home for the Holidays” was supposed to be a shot in the arm for Vereserum and leverage the company’s ubiquitous implants to solidify its place in the lucrative augmented reality market. According to the marketing materials, the app would “…allow users to experience the holidays they knew as a kid. You can enjoy a white Christmas wherever you are thanks to snowfall mode, experience a dark and stormy Halloween night any time of the day, or add fall colors anywhere with the Thanksgiving filter. Our advanced morphing technology can even face-swap overbearing relatives with someone a lot nicer, and our special dark mode allows you to sneak in a little nap right at the table!” Unfortunately for the company, the app gave users little to be thankful for.
It started with users finding that they couldn’t cancel the app’s “Dark Mode” once engaged. Soon hundreds of grandparents and cousins were stumbling around kitchens across the island clutching their containers of leftovers and panicked. Lahaina emergency services were swamped with calls from terrified parents whose children had gone blind before their eyes. In a few hours, hundreds of homes would be filled with company unable to leave and terrified hosts.
The temporarily blind were the luckiest in some ways. Others experienced problems with Vereserum’s morphing technology. Relatives had their faces and voices swapped leaving many unable to see or hear anything but their bigoted uncles. Some were hospitalized due to the ordeal and authorities are searching the beach and parks looking for any children who might still be trying to avoid the trauma of kissing a dozen grandmothers goodbye.
In a brief statement this morning, Vereserum CTO Alex James says, “Clearly things did not go as planned. We are still investigating what went wrong here and are taking all the steps necessary to make it up to our users. We take customer security and safety very seriously and look forward to continuing to provide Ceremplant users with the most innovative implant experience available to the public.”
Many are saying this is the final nail in the coffin for Vereserum’s Ceremplant division, but some diehard fans are accusing the media of trying to stir up outrage. They say that while it was scary for a relatively small percentage of users, there was no lasting damage. Lahaina resident John Driscol is one such fan and says he doesn’t see what the fuss is all about.
“I was forced to take on a part-time job recently, disrupting my beach time. I was horrified that I was able to find work so quickly but was slightly relieved to hear that I could complete my orientation online. I figured I’d do it during Thanksgiving so I wouldn’t get sucked into a conversation or have to pretend to care about the game on TV. Still, I was worried that someone would try to engage with me somehow until I heard about the new Ceremplant app. I figured I’d upload the Holidays program to keep things interesting. It was one of the best decisions of my life!
Right away things started to go dark. I could barely see the slides on my screen making it extremely easy to ignore. Then the noise from the kitchen began to fade out. Before I knew it, everything went completely black and I couldn’t hear my brother’s annoying laugh. I tried to end “Dark Mode” but nothing happened. Instead of freaking out like a lot of people did, I decided to make the most of it.
I have always dreamed of being able to sleep with my eyes open. Imagine how much better life would be if you could doze the afternoon away without judgment from those around you. Imagine how much better weddings, family gatherings, and school events would be if you could shamelessly sleep through the dullest parts of any activity. I can’t say that I was completely successful but I feel like I was able to doze off for at least 15 minutes and I think I could do much better with some more practice.
All I’m saying is that besides a few overly excitable people and a handful of freaked out kids everything turned out fine. Everyone has their vision back and I said nothing to anyone on Thanksgiving, not even hello. I hope they don’t change anything because of this little hiccup. I definitely need more practice sleeping with my eyes open and the wife
and I are really looking forward to the face-swapping feature for Valentine’s Day.
