There have been a number of groups and individuals who have helped make the island livable since the fracture. From science fair kids joining forces with a dance troupe, to mysterious delivery men trying to keep Front street safe, many have dedicated their lives to making things better. Then there are those that are harder to quantify.
The Regulators are one such group. A collection of dedicated civil servants and like-minded individuals, the Regulators strive to implement and enforce the rules and regulations that existed before civilizations collapse. Most on the island views this as a preposterous endeavor at best. The Kānaka in particular, have a very dim view on rebuilding things in the image of what existed before. However, there are those that admire the tenacity of the Regulators and their resolve.
This is the first in a series explaining how the group got its start, and detailing their three most important members.
By all accounts Esther Hele was a miserable child. Born the daughter of a well-known Pali-ites instructor at the world famous Kokua Wellness Center and Spa here in Lahaina, Esther’s troubles began almost immediately. The carefree and self-regulated parenting style in her home did not fit Esther’s personality. Thriving on order and rules, she would routinely put her toys in long lines in order to listen to their concerns and give them daily direction.
This behavior spilled over into preschool, where young Esther took great delight in reporting any and all infractions, (especially line cutting), to the teachers. Elementary school was no better. She was picked last, if ever, for every game at recess. The other children made fun of her need for order and love of authority. Things finally came to a head when Esther presented a 10-page report on the short-counting issue running rampant during hide-N-seek to the Principal.
It troubled her greatly that others were routinely allowed to disregard the rules without consequence. It seemed unfair to her that many of the adults appeared not to care, or were unwilling to enforce mutually understood standards of conduct. The lunch line was haphazard and inefficient at best. Esther declared that she would be better equipped to run things than her classmates or teachers. It was her proposed punishments for them that drew the most concern. After some discussion with school officials, and a licensed counselor, it was agreed that Esther should attend a more structured private school on the mainland.
The new school was exactly what she needed. While she still had trouble relating to her peers, Esther thrived under the strict new rules. She soon became a favorite of the staff and was allowed many special privileges. She reorganized the stanchions in the library, reducing the average check-out time by almost a minute. She added 30 pages to the school’s code of conduct packet to remove any ambiguities. Instances of students sneaking off campus dropped by a third under Esther’s diligent night watches. Not only did Esther like the strict rules, but she began to love the power as well.
Eventually she graduated and needed to find work. College seemed too chaotic for Esther and her teachers suggested a summer job while she worked on her plans for the future. On paper the DMV seemed liked the perfect fit for her, and as Esther would tell you, paper never lies. She did well at private school, but she was born to work at the DMV.
The lines were magnificent. If someone gave you trouble you could put them in another line, and watch the hope drain out of their eyes, by closing it minutes later. While the rules and organization inside seemed capricious or punitive to some, they made perfect sense to Esther. Still, she missed her family and longed to mold her hometown into a more efficient place to live. She was eventually granted a transfer.
Esther had just began to settle in at her new office. She wasn’t even supposed to start for another week, but she wanted to time the lines and look for any possible rule breaking from her co-workers before she started her next report. When the island started shaking she quickly led them to the designated emergency shelter and had the forethought to bring the water tanks from the lobby. Say what you will about her personality, but all the survivors inside that DMV office that day owe her their lives.
They stayed in the shelter for what seemed like forever. Finally, the water situation started to become dire. Esther knew she had to get out and survey the area, but she was not quite ready for what she saw. Everything was in ruins. She assumed there must be other survivors somewhere but she didn’t see any. Though she didn’t know what the problem was exactly, it was a safe bet that nobody would be veiling in with help anytime soon. It was clear what she had to do.
With the veils broken, organized roads and safe drivers were more important than ever. She couldn’t clean water but she could make sure the equipment needed would be delivered by licensed drivers. She didn’t have any medical equipment but she could ensure that it was distributed promptly through an orderly transportation system. She had the knowledge and skills. She understood how important her cog was in the wheel of civilization. She would continue the DMV’s work.
The rest is history. For years Esther could be found patrolling the roads and conducting driving tests around Lahaina. Some of the questions changed over the years. “What should you do first if you find a Menehune has cut your brake lines?” and “If you are trying to escape a Night Marcher who wants your skull, but the light is red, are you allowed to continue without coming to a complete stop,” are two of the most recent additions. Esther tried to keep the rest as close to the original as possible. Her staff grew from the initial survivors to a group of over 100, all looking for any bit of the old world they could find. Islanders started to call them “The Regulators” within a year, and the group flourished.
Esther and the rest of the Regulators bit off more than they could chew however, when they presented the great Kānaka chief Ikaika with a letter demanding he register his war canoe. The bill, which included 35-years worth of penalties, was considered a provocation by the chief. When Esther told him that if he didn’t like it he could move to the back of the line a short battle began.
Lives were lost on both sides but the Regulators tenacity was no match for the Kānaka’s numbers. In her younger days Esther might have fought to the end, but with years came some wisdom, and she retreated to reorganize her paperwork. Lahaina hasn’t seen any Regulator activity in decades now, but it is rumored that the group has never been stronger. Some say that they are simply adding fees and penalties to the Kānaka’s bill while continuing to license those not strong enough to fight back elsewhere on the island.
Love them or hate them, there’s no doubt that the Regulators hold an important place in the history of post-fracture Lahaina. If you manage to get a vehicle going make sure you follow the rules of the road and your paperwork is in order. The last thing you want is to see Esther in your rearview mirror.
